How to dress for church

[Onegin]

Also, in the pre-Vatican II days, didn’t night shift workers sometimes attend early morning Masses (6 a.m. or so) in their work clothes? There were churches in NYC that had “printer’s Masses” on Sundays as early as 3 or 4 a.m., for these people to attend on their way home from work after printing the next day’s newspapers. Obviously, they were not expected to show up in suits and ties!

I’m not sure I see your point. Certainly, in the “good old days” exceptions were made in various circumstances. Are you saying that these exceptions should have been the rule?

The obvious difference is that those people - had they the opportunity - probably would have dressed properly. Whereas today, people who have more than enough means and opportunity choose to dress sloppily where there is no good reason or exception present.

That’s the problem.

 

[EasterJoy]

Also, in the pre-Vatican II days, didn’t night shift workers sometimes attend early morning Masses (6 a.m. or so) in their work clothes? There were churches in NYC that had “printer’s Masses” on Sundays as early as 3 or 4 a.m., for these people to attend on their way home from work after printing the next day’s newspapers. Obviously, they were not expected to show up in suits and ties!

Maybe that’s it. Maybe in the old days, people dressed differently on Sundays because Sundays really were different.

 

[Ohiomom]

By you people Christ and the Franciscans don’t dress well enough for Mass. Salvation should not be denied to those you look down your noses at. .

I have not seen any posts judging and no one is judging or criticizing anything that is not blatant (the foot washing “reveal” mentioned by one previous poster). As for me and my house, I am teaching my children to love, reach out and accept everyone and to try to give to and help those with material needs.
I am also teaching and modeling that when our family goes to church, it is special so we always look neat and clean. I wear skirts and dresses and I am teaching my daughter to do the same, but when she is a teenager, if she wants to wear a pants to daily mass, I will just be thanking God she wants to go to mass.

 

[Xadriel]

Good grief , I’m not promoting slopiness , in fact I don’t own a shirt that costs less than $200.00.What I am saying is that you arn’t thinking of these people’s circumstances. I go to Mass looking my best , but what offends me is the judgment you cast on people.(“Judge not lest ye be judged” Mathiew 7:1Did you think that they may not be comfortable with how they look at Mass either (John 7:24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment. )Say if my mother passed away suddenly I would still attend Mass and I could be a little messy looking. The people that look the worst probobly need God the most , and they shouldn’t be denied him under any circumstance…should they? I will use a vers that we all know John 3:16 , whe it says “For God so loved the world”. not “For God so loved the nicely dressed that he gave his only son”. If you feel so strongly about dressing up , then thats what you should do . In short I mean that if you can dress well for Mass , by all means you should. And you should be their for your Relationship with God and not to take inventory of other people’s appearance because of the fact that you don’t know what they have been through recently. I also find it hard to belive that all of you look flawless every moment of every day (John 8:7 He that is without sin among you , let him cast the first stone at her"), God is everywhere , not just in our Sanctuaries , shrines and chapels. God doesn’t deny himself to anyone , you should not deny God to anyone.

I am a Theology student , the verses I included are a reminder , they arn’t to impress.

 

[Xadriel]

I’m not sure I see your point. Certainly, in the “good old days” exceptions were made in various circumstances. Are you saying that these exceptions should have been the rule?

The obvious difference is that those people - had they the opportunity - probably would have dressed properly. Whereas today, people who have more than enough means and opportunity choose to dress sloppily where there is no good reason or exception present.

That’s the problem.

I agree , that is my point.

 

[slyboots]

Xandriel, you don’t own a shirt that costs less than 200.00??? Gracious, I don’t own one that cost 100.00 nor does my husband. In fact most of them are in the 10-20.00 range unless I bought them at a thrift or consignment store.
Here’s my point. Just because one does not have money does not mean one cannot dress respectfully and modestly for mass.
Kaizmom, you are NOT required to wear a veil whether or not your hair is short or not. We don’t veil because of hair length. We veil because we feel God asked us to do so. If you do not hear Him calling to you to veil your head (and heart) then it may not be for you.
In general here is the answer to the question…For mass you shouldn’t wear beach clothes (bathing suits) clubbing clothes (strappy little numbers) or clothes you can easily be found doing lawn work in.
Sometimes you might have to show up in scrubs if you are on duty as a hospital worker and are working in a Mass on a break. Or a man might feel compelled to leave his car mechanics job and straight away go to Mass. But generally speaking on Saturday night at the Vigil Masses or Sunday morning at Sunday Mass there is usally no reason one cannot change into nicer, clean pressed clothing.
Men in shirts/sweaters and slacks, sportcoats or not, or even suits.
Women in dresses of a decent length, skirts and blouses/sweaters, and though I would not do so, slacks. You need not veil as per the Church although I personally do and think it a good thing for a woman.
Children can wear school clothing as long as it is clean, pressed, and decent.
Blue jeans are de rigueur in the southwest part of the US. Men, women and children wear them and some folks can even make these look like "dress"clothes. I cannot pull that off so I gave them up a while ago. But I do maintain my denim skirts can be good enough for church wear. Cowboy boots are ubiquitous here as well. And often worn to “dress up” occasions.
Some people freak out over sandals. Where I work ( in a county courthouse) sandals are acceptable. Flip flops are not. Seems to me that works for church too. Besides, some of our religious wear sandals to Mass and it doesn’t seem to be a problem.
Now all this being said, I do not mean to say if you do not dress the way I have written you are a bad, sloppy, evil, disrespectful person. But frankly it shouldn’t be that hard to dress neatly and cleanly and a step up from the everyday when you plan on meeting the Lord God Incarnate, is it?

 

[lawoods]

This is a really great question.

Although I am so young and fall in the category of people that would do those things (I am 15), I feel uncomfortable wearing those clothes in God’s holy presence. I am sure that every single girl owns at least 1 dress (no matter how hideous, out-of-date anything) and all boys and men own a pair of khakis and a polo or dress shirt.

It is funny, too, because when I am in youth group in a conservative skirt and shirt and everyone else is in jeans or sweatpants, I feel awkward! Like I should be wearing those clothes, too!

It needs to stop.

Great article! Thanks for posting.

-Laura

 

[slyboots]

From an Orthodox viewpoint:theologic.com/oflweb/inchurch/etiquet.htm

Sunday Dress
Remember the time when people put on their “Sunday best” to go to church? In fact, dress clothes were often referred to as Sunday clothes. In some parts of the country, this is not common today. In fact, all too often, dress in church has become too casual. In all areas of our lives, we should offer Christ our best. And the same is true of our dress. We should offer Christ our 'Sunday best", not our everyday or common wear. And we should dress modestly, not in a flashy way that would bring attention to ourselves. Our dress should always be becoming of a Christian - especially at church. Here are some specific guidelines we use in our parishes:

Children
Only young children (under 10) should wear shorts to church - and then only dress shorts. Athletic shorts, cut-offs, and spandex shorts are never appropriate church wear (for children or adults!). Shoes or sandals should be clean and tied. No one should wear T-shirts with any kind of writing on them (“This Bud’s for You!” is definitely out).

Women
Dresses should be modest. No tank tops or dresses with only straps at the shoulders, no short skirts (mini-skirts), and no skin-tight dresses. Dresses should have backs and not be cut low in the front. If women wear pants to church, they should be dress pants (not jeans, leggings, etc.). Shorts of any type are not appropriate for church.

Men
Men should also dress modestly. While coat and tie are not mandatory, shirts should have collars and be buttoned to the collar (the actual collar button may be left undone, but two or three buttons undone is inappropriate). Slacks should be cleaned and pressed. Jeans (of any color) are usually too casual for church, especially ones with patches or holes. Again, shorts are not appropriate church wear.

If you’re going somewhere after church where you need to dress casually, bring a change of clothing with you and change after coffee hour. Remember, use your best judgment and good taste when dressing for church. After all, you don’t go to be seen by everyone else - you go to meet and worship God.

 

[Kaizmom]

1. They needn’t. But just like a suit would be the ideal for a man, so would a nice skirt-ish outfit be for a woman. It needn’t be “long”.
2. Men shouldn’t wear jeans for the same reason that women shouldn’t - they’re not the proper attire and (whether intentionally done so or not) they do not contribute to the reverence that is due to the solemnity of the Mass.
3. Obviously it would be better for the person to go to Mass wearing a clown costume than to not go at all. Sure the “bare minimum” argument works in regards to people who are new to the Faith and simply don’t know better but after a while it’s part of proper catechizing to learn what is appropriate for Mass and what is not. Sure, we’d let people into Mass chewing bubble gum initially but later on they must learn that chewing gum in Mass is not appropriate. So too with wearing sport jerseys, jeans, etc.
4. I’ve never heard this before and I go to a church where approx. 99.9% of the women wear veils/hats (regardless of hair length). I’d be willing to say that that sounds a lot like someone turning a personal opinion into a rule.

Thanks, that helped me out. Unfortunatly, most of what I hear about the traditional side of the house comes from my step daughter who attends as SSPX church and teaches some of the WEIRDEST things to her brother and sister. That is why I wanted to clarify these things.

 

[Jennifer_G]

I have a question about skirts. All my my skirts (most are shorts-like skirts, and feel like shorts) are just barely 1 to 4 inches above the knee (I had these skirts probably since middle school or high school (10-15 years ago… ****), so I’ve grown since last wearing them). They’re all above the knee when sitting down. Would they be too short for Mass? I’ve read that they should be below the knee when sitting. Only one barely comes down just over the middle of the knee when sitting (and it’s elastic is worn and is being repaired).

 

[slyboots]

I have a question about skirts. All my my skirts (most are shorts-like skirts, and feel like shorts) are just barely 1 to 4 inches above the knee (I had these skirts probably since middle school or high school (10-15 years ago… ****), so I’ve grown since last wearing them). They’re all above the knee when sitting down. Would they be too short for Mass? I’ve read that they should be below the knee when sitting. Only one barely comes down just over the middle of the knee when sitting (and it’s elastic is worn and is being repaired).

Jennifer, let me recommend you get some new skirts. If they are 10-15 years old and you have grown then they are probably in need of replacment. And let me further recommend consignment stores and thrift/charity stores. Also places like Gordman’s, Kohl’s, Beale’s, Cato’s put things on unbelievable sales at the end of seasons. I have bought new fancy things for 50.00 and things just as stylish and in good shape for as little as 1.00 at local charity stores. I wear nothing but skirts so you can assume that I have a lot of them.
Consigments stores often have lovely things for 5-10.00.

 

[Sabda]

Jennifer, let me recommend you get some new skirts. If they are 10-15 years old and you have grown then they are probably in need of replacment. And let me further recommend consignment stores and thrift/charity stores. Also places like Gordman’s, Kohl’s, Beale’s, Cato’s put things on unbelievable sales at the end of seasons. I have bought new fancy things for 50.00 and things just as stylish and in good shape for as little as 1.00 at local charity stores. I wear nothing but skirts so you can assume that I have a lot of them.
Consigments stores often have lovely things for 5-10.00.

JCPenney’s is another really good place to shop. They also have really good sales at the end of the season. I have gotten several of my skirts and dresses from them. High quality items too. I haven’t looked at the women’s section in Gordman’s but their girl’s section is awesome!!! Sears is another good place but I don’t think they have as many sales as the other places do.

 

[slyboots]

I just found this article which I think is very good.
"Modest dress is the sign of civility and immodest dress pronounces overwhelming barbarity and indecency. "
indiancatholic.in/news/storydetails.php/12979-1-2-Dress-code-in-Churches

 

[slyboots]

Andf there is this one from the Lutherans which gave me a giggle…

Women - In some very tradititional Catholic and Orthodox churches these are few and outside the mainstream of their own tradition), women are expected to wear dresses with skirts below the knees; heads are to be veiled (hats can be worn instead; veils are sometimes available for use in the narthex, or entryway, of the church); shoulders are not to be bare.

Russian Orthodox

• No Shorts or Short Skirts
• Shirts and Blouses with sleeves
• A head scarf in the church at all times for all women.

Catholic Churches in the Phillipines
Under the dress code, women should not wear short skirts, skimpy shorts, sleeveless blouses, tank tops or spaghetti-strap tops and plunging necklines in church, while men should avoid caps, shorts and basketball jerseys.

The archdiocese instead recommends that women wear blouses, corporate or office attire, school uniforms or long gowns, while men wear shirts, jeans or slacks.

And then there are the Pentecostal Holiness folks
Referred to as standards or holiness teachings, there are teachings which are not covered in the Articles of Faith. Some are basically taught in all UPC churches, while the individual pastor may add others. Some ministers teach that your salvation is at stake if you do not abide by these rules.

For instance, there is an issue of sleeve length. Most would probably teach that a sleeveless shirt would be wrong to wear, without mandating how long the sleeve should be. Another may mandate sleeves be no shorter than the elbow, with others stipulating they must be to the wrist.

Shorts are normally taught against for both sexes. Some allow culottes on women, while others forbid them. Gauchos and Capri’s are usually disallowed. My former District Superintendent once referred to gauchos as ‘glorified pants.’ Pants are not to be worn by women and men should not go shirtless.

Facial hair on men in many churches is discouraged and their hair should be short while a woman is never to cut or trim her hair. Long hair is translated to mean uncut hair in I Corinthians 11. Some teach a woman’s spirituality and/or salvation hinges on whether or not she abides by this teaching. Others teach a woman has special power in her long, uncut hair. There are ministers who mandate that women wear their hair up.

Women are to wear dresses or skirts. Some require a set length, while others advise it should be at least to the knee. Pantyhose may or may not be required.

There are ministers who teach against all jewelry, while others will allow a pin, ring or watch. Others claim you’ll be lost if you wear a wedding ring.

 

[Secret_Square]

“SO many people take comments and actions the wrong way.
When someone says ‘So and so is not dressed appropriately for church’ what that person HEARS, very often, is ‘They think I’m not good enough to be here. They think I’m not good enough to stand before the Lord?!?!’
That is not what is SAID mind you, but so often that is what is heard.
And when someone dresses inappropriately for Mass, that sends a message, too. The people in the pews next to them think that their dress shows a lack of love and respect for God. And who would be okay with someone they love not being respected?
So, I get it.
On both sides.”

In “The Screwtape Letters” C.S. Lewis has the demon Screwtape discuss how “purely indifferent things like candles and clothes and what not” are the best ground for creating divisions between Christians – much better (from the demonic point of view) than genuine doctrinal issues.

“We have quite removed from men’s minds,” he says, “what that pestilent fellow Paul used to teach about food and other unessentials – namely, that the human without scruples should always give in to the human with scruples… You would except to find the “low” churchman (Lewis was Anglican) genuflecting and crossing himself lest the weak conscience of his “high” brother be moved to irreverence, and the “high” one refraining from these exercises lest he should betray his “low” brother into idolatry. And so it would have been but for our ceaseless labor.”

I think everyone on this forum is agreed on the need for basic modesty; the division is regarding whether or not jeans or other casual clothing are acceptable dress for Sunday Mass or whether more formal clothing should be required or expected.

If we followed what “that pestilent fellow Paul” taught, you might see people who prefer to dress casually making an effort to dress up for Mass so that their fellow parishioners are not offended or tempted to irreverence, while others who like to “dress to the nines” or take great pride in their appearance would dress more casually so that parishioners who do not have the means to dress as well will not feel out of place.

 

[EasterJoy]

“SO many people take comments and actions the wrong way.
When someone says ‘So and so is not dressed appropriately for church’ what that person HEARS, very often, is ‘They think I’m not good enough to be here. They think I’m not good enough to stand before the Lord?!?!’
That is not what is SAID mind you, but so often that is what is heard.
And when someone dresses inappropriately for Mass, that sends a message, too. The people in the pews next to them think that their dress shows a lack of love and respect for God. And who would be okay with someone they love not being respected?
So, I get it.
On both sides.”

In “The Screwtape Letters” C.S. Lewis has the demon Screwtape discuss how “purely indifferent things like candles and clothes and what not” are the best ground for creating divisions between Christians – much better (from the demonic point of view) than genuine doctrinal issues.

“We have quite removed from men’s minds,” he says, “what that pestilent fellow Paul used to teach about food and other unessentials – namely, that the human without scruples should always give in to the human with scruples… You would except to find the “low” churchman (Lewis was Anglican) genuflecting and crossing himself lest the weak conscience of his “high” brother be moved to irreverence, and the “high” one refraining from these exercises lest he should betray his “low” brother into idolatry. And so it would have been but for our ceaseless labor.”

I think everyone on this forum is agreed on the need for basic modesty; the division is regarding whether or not jeans or other casual clothing are acceptable dress for Sunday Mass or whether more formal clothing should be required or expected.

If we followed what “that pestilent fellow Paul” taught, you might see people who prefer to dress casually making an effort to dress up for Mass so that their fellow parishioners are not offended or tempted to irreverence, while others who like to “dress to the nines” or take great pride in their appearance would dress more casually so that parishioners who do not have the means to dress as well will not feel out of place.

I agree completely! And, as Screwtape pointed out, if handled St. Paul’s way, as you suggest above, this whole issue might become a positive hotbed of charity!

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I agree completely! And, as Screwtape pointed out, if handled St. Paul’s way, as you suggest above, this whole issue might become a positive hotbed of charity!

I love this plan!

I had come here to humbly suggest what I shall now call Plan ‘B’–that is that we all wear albs to church! After all --it is the proper dress for a baptized Christian.

 

[EasterJoy]

I love this plan!

I had come here to humbly suggest what I shall now call Plan ‘B’–that is that we all wear albs to church! After all --it is the proper dress for a baptized Christian.

I predict a hotbed of heart attacks! :stretcher:

Maybe we ought to stick to clothes intended to keep the collective blood pressure down, instead.