How to dress for Mass

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MissRose73 said:
Yes, we should dress both decently and modestly for Mass. It would be nice to return to the days of Sunday Best Clothes, but they are far gone unfortunately.
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That will never return with the popular reasoning, “Modesty is subjective. What matters is what I define modest as, not what others think”. It leads to us showing up in tank tops and short shorts, because ‘God understands’…

Rant over.
 
zab said:
In other words, you wouldn’t show up for a military inspection wearing shorts and a T-shirt, nor a shirt and tie for that matter.
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Correct. I would dress appropriately for the occasion, based on the criteria of what constitutes appropriate. Catchy sayings like “wear your Sunday Best” are cute, but they offer no objective criteria because by many standards my “best” is inappropriate for mass.
 
It’s not complicated at all. Ask yourself, honestly, how you would dress if someone you really respected and admired invited you over for a rather formal dinner. It could be someone famous or someone you already know. For many men in our culture this will be a suit and tie, and for many women it will be a pretty, but modest, dress. Give me a break on that one ladies…it’s the best that I, as a man, know how to describe the type of dress I’m imagining. 😉 Let’s just say, probably not a prom dress or something you’d wear to go “clubbin”. Modest, tasteful, but can still be stylish.

These answers aren’t going to be the same for everyone, but if you honestly answer the question above thinking of the person you respect then you’ll know what you should wear for our Lord.

Disclaimer: I’m a hypocrite and haven’t always followed this advice.
 
MartyrForJesus said:
That will never return with the popular reasoning, “Modesty is subjective. What matters is what I define modest as, not what others think”. It leads to us showing up in tank tops and short shorts, because ‘God understands’…

Rant over.
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“God understands” is a line of reasoning that really irks me as well. He certainly does understand, since he can see into our hearts…but when people use that argument to defend things they should know are way outside the acceptable range, do they think they’re actually fooling God??
 
mgoforth said:
It’s not complicated at all. Ask yourself, honestly, how you would dress if someone you really respected and admired invited you over for a rather formal dinner. It could be someone famous or someone you already know. For many men in our culture this will be a suit and tie, and for many women it will be a pretty, but modest, dress. Give me a break on that one ladies…it’s the best that I, as a man, know how to describe the type of dress I’m imagining. 😉 Let’s just say, probably not a prom dress or something you’d wear to go “clubbin”. Modest, tasteful, but can still be stylish.

These answers aren’t going to be the same for everyone, but if you honestly answer the question above thinking of the person you respect then you’ll know what you should wear for our Lord.

Disclaimer: I’m a hypocrite and haven’t always followed this advice.
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‘Rather formal’? What does that mean? And why ‘rather formal?’

‘Someone I respect and admire’? Well, I hugely respect and admire my parents, far and away above any king, prince or president. Yet I wouldn’t dream of dressing formally for them, and know for a fact that they really dislike formal occasions. And my respect for them is unrelated to my dress. I respect them just as much at the breakfast table when
we’re all in pajamas or at the beach when we’re all in bathers as at the dressiest of formal events. And they me.

As for the idea that we can in any way impress God by our dress - balogna. Jesus was God, if clothing were important He would’ve spent His whole life dressed in the utmost finery and always insisted on His Apostles doing the same when in His presence. Yet He chose instead to be meek and humble of heart. Which attitude certainly, as far as e can gather, extended to His dress as well.

Certainly we know Paul exhorts against any sort of display in dress, heaping invective upon those who insist on ‘braided hair and costly apparel’.
 
mgoforth said:
“God understands” is a line of reasoning that really irks me as well. He certainly does understand, since he can see into our hearts…but when people use that argument to defend things they should know are way outside the acceptable range, do they think they’re actually fooling God??
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“acceptable range” according to whom though? That’s a broad spectrum in some areas of the world.
 
Here is where we get into the show…🍿🍿 Someone wears Dockers to Mass…is that acceptable? Someone thinks it’s better then jeans, someone thinks it’s not dressy enough, other people think its just fine… There is no end…but people seem to have a good time judging people or shaming them…
 
Annabelle_Marie said:
Here is where we get into the show…🍿🍿 Someone wears Dockers to Mass…is that acceptable? Someone thinks it’s better then jeans, someone thinks it’s not dressy enough, other people think its just fine… There is no end…but people seem to have a good time judging people or shaming them…
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What a priest asks of us matters to me, not what a regular think. The priest has authority, the usual you and mes dont have that authority.
 
Padraig1972 said:
What a priest asks of us matters to me, not what a regular think. The priest has authority, the usual you and mes dont have that authority.
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:yup:

There seems to be a consensus among priests, saints, leaders of our Church, that we should do our best to use our attire to show respect in God’s House.

As followers of Christ, we are called to submit in humble obedience to the authority of our Church leaders.
 
Padraig1972 said:
What a priest asks of us matters to me, not what a regular think. The priest has authority, the usual you and mes dont have that authority.
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So if your priest gives his approval to jeans and a nice t-shirt or sweatshirt, that would be ok with you? And then we can stop this silly arguement over what clothing is inappropriate and not. Somebody ALWAYS has to bring in the “formal dinner” scenerio, what one wears to the White House to meet the president, etc, etc. Too many people not paying attention to the actual mass and looking around at their fellow Catholics and taking notes so they can come on CAF and complain.
 
PatriceA said:
So if your priest gives his approval to jeans and a nice t-shirt or sweatshirt, that would be ok with you? And then we can stop this silly arguement over what clothing is inappropriate and not. Somebody ALWAYS has to bring in the “formal dinner” scenerio, what one wears to the White House to meet the president, etc, etc. Too many people not paying attention to the actual mass and looking around at their fellow Catholics and taking notes so they can come on CAF and complain.
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I don’t look at what everyone is wearing to Mass and judge any of them. Heck, I would just be happy to see some of my adult children at Mass. What it comes down to is a person’s awareness of the respect that they should show for God by dressing appropriately. Sometimes people do have to be reminded (particularly in warmer climates where people often wear shorts and sleeveless tops). It doesn’t matter what you have in your closet or drawers. Of the clothes that you have you should choose to wear what is most appropriate for Mass. And when it is time to purchase new or “other” clothes, you would keep in mind that you need something for Church.
 
zab said:
I don’t look at what everyone is wearing to Mass and judge any of them. Heck, I would just be happy to see some of my adult children at Mass. What it comes down to is a person’s awareness of the respect that they should show for God by dressing appropriately. Sometimes people do have to be reminded (particularly in warmer climates where people often wear shorts and sleeveless tops). It doesn’t matter what you have in your closet or drawers. Of the clothes that you have you should choose to wear what is most appropriate for Mass. And when it is time to purchase new or “other” clothes, you would keep in mind that you need something for Church.
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Have you provided the link for the picture in your OP yet? I would really like to see what site you were using by the way.

Again, what is “appropriate” has just as many definitions as there are people that have opinions. And these threads can get quite nasty with people scolding other Catholics that they think they need to correct.
 
PatriceA said:
Have you provided the link for the picture in your OP yet? I would really like to see what site you were using by the way.

Again, what is “appropriate” has just as many definitions as there are people that have opinions. And these threads can get quite nasty with people scolding other Catholics that they think they need to correct.
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"Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thy heart, but correct him openly, lest thou incur sin through him” Leviticus 19:17

“He must know that he who causeth a sinner to be converted from the error of his way, shall save his soul from death, and shall cover a multitude of sins” James 5:20

“If thy brother sin against thee, reprove him: and if he do penance, forgive him” Luke 17:3

“Them that sin, reprove before all: that the rest also may have fear” 1 Timothy 5:20

“Preach the word: be instant in season, out of season: reprove, entreat, rebuke in all patience and doctrine” 2 Timothy 4:2

“Brethren, and if a man be overtaken in any fault, you, who are spiritual, instruct such a one in the spirit of meekness, considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted” Galatians 6:1

"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that is wise hearkeneth unto counsels" Proverbs 12:15
 
PatriceA said:
Have you provided the link for the picture in your OP yet? I would really like to see what site you were using by the way.

Again, what is “appropriate” has just as many definitions as there are people that have opinions. And these threads can get quite nasty with people scolding other Catholics that they think they need to correct.
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The nasty shows itself in many ways ;).
The photo is from our Sister Parish in Uganda- Our Lady Mary Mother of the Church Nyakishenyi
facebook.com/#!/groups/121111054605752/photos/
 
LilyM said:
‘Rather formal’? What does that mean? And why ‘rather formal?’
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Excellent questions, Lily. I used the word “rather” in the old sense…as in “very formal”. I consider Mass (I’m speaking of what I know, which is a Latin Rite Mass in the U.S.) to be a very formal occasion. As a followup, I have to ask how formal do you consider Mass to be?
LilyM said:
‘Someone I respect and admire’? Well, I hugely respect and admire my parents, far and away above any king, prince or president. Yet I wouldn’t dream of dressing formally for them, and know for a fact that they really dislike formal occasions. And my respect for them is unrelated to my dress. I respect them just as much at the breakfast table when
we’re all in pajamas or at the beach when we’re all in bathers as at the dressiest of formal events. And they me.
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Do you celebrate Mass around your breakfast table? Have you ever celebrated Mass on the beach? And would it be respectful of your parents if they did throw a party where everyone was expected to dress formally and you showed up in your pajamas? You might feel the same respect for them, but would you be demonstrating your respect for your parents to the other party guests in that situation?

"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16

I’m not questioning anyone’s personal feelings of reverence in Mass, but I fear that by the outward signs that others will notice (and we can argue all day about whether they SHOULD be paying attention to what you’re wearing instead of the Mass…but we all know that many people DO notice these things) such as the way the members of the congregation are dressed, that it may negatively affect the state of their souls.
LilyM said:
As for the idea that we can in any way impress God by our dress - balogna. Jesus was God, if clothing were important He would’ve spent His whole life dressed in the utmost finery and always insisted on His Apostles doing the same when in His presence. Yet He chose instead to be meek and humble of heart. Which attitude certainly, as far as e can gather, extended to His dress as well.
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I can’t argue with the idea that we are unable to “impress” God with anything, but there are also thousands of instances in Scripture where it was written that someone “pleased” God through their actions. My daughter is 4 and whenever she tries to dress herself up for some special occasion there’s usually an untied shoe or a hair bow that’s not really placed very well, etc…but she is trying to please me, and just by her sincere efforts I am pleased. I know God feels the same way when we make any sort of special effort from our hearts to give him just a little something extra.
LilyM said:
Certainly we know Paul exhorts against any sort of display in dress, heaping invective upon those who insist on ‘braided hair and costly apparel’.
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This is the verse you’re referring to, right?

"Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments" 1 Timothy 2:9

So does formal (in a Mass setting) necessarily imply gold, jewels or extravagant clothing? In some cases the answer appears to be “yes”.



http://canons-regular.org/uploads/images/fr-miguel-5.jpg

But in the case of the laity, I would think not. You’re also implying a false dichotomy…that it’s either gold and jewels or shorts and flip-flops. There is a middle ground that is neither over the top nor overly casual, but that “modestly and discreetly” displays our respect for Christ’s sacrifice to others, in a manner that is pleasing to God.

http://bustedhalo.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/spanish-mass-large-image.jpg
 
PatriceA said:
“acceptable range” according to whom though? That’s a broad spectrum in some areas of the world.
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According to the leadership of the particular Church. Why not ask the priest to spell out the “acceptable range” in whatever area of the world the person in question resides? I imagine that any priest would be happy to give direction in this matter.
 
mgoforth said:
According to the leadership of the particular Church. Why not ask the priest to spell out the “acceptable range” in whatever area of the world the person in question resides? I imagine that any priest would be happy to give direction in this matter.
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Already have, and it would NOT meet the expectations of some of the more extreme views of appropriate clothes for mass that always turn up in these types of threads.
 
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