How to dress for Mass

[LilHomemaker]

Seeing how these people in a poor country dress for Mass should put some of us to shame.

I think that is a beautiful picture and it would be nice to see people in America try to dress a little better for Mass. I think most people know what is appropriate and what isn’t. Both men and women should dress modest and clean and yes as if they were going to someone very important’s house. Modesty please. I am always glad when winter shows up.

I agree with others that this topic has been around for a while but maybe there is a reason for that. Maybe it is because there should be some concern over the way our society dresses, especially at mass. I don’t think anyone is talking of gowns and tuxes but what each person has and can do to look their best for our Lord.

Someone made reference to that is how our society is now and there is no going back. Well, IMHO, they are right in one way and wrong in another way. You can’t go back to the past but you can remember the wisdom of the past and it just takes one person to start a trend. If those of us who would like to see people dress more appropriate for Mass continue to do so or start to do so, others would follow along. I know I am always encouraged when I see someone dressed up for Mass. It tells me they thought about where they were going before they left the house and encourages me to be more reverent. Sometimes casual dress can encourage casual attitude, least ways it does me.

Sue

 

[mgoforth]

Already have, and it would NOT meet the expectations of some of the more extreme views of appropriate clothes for mass that always turn up in these types of threads.

Would you be willing to share the response the priest gave you and an example of the extreme views you’re referring to? It might be helpful to hear what an ordained member of the clergy had to say.

 

[LilHomemaker]

Excellent questions, Lily. I used the word “rather” in the old sense…as in “very formal”. I consider Mass (I’m speaking of what I know, which is a Latin Rite Mass in the U.S.) to be a very formal occasion. As a followup, I have to ask how formal do you consider Mass to be?

Do you celebrate Mass around your breakfast table? Have you ever celebrated Mass on the beach? And would it be respectful of your parents if they did throw a party where everyone was expected to dress formally and you showed up in your pajamas? You might feel the same respect for them, but would you be demonstrating your respect for your parents to the other party guests in that situation?

"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16

I’m not questioning anyone’s personal feelings of reverence in Mass, but I fear that by the outward signs that others will notice (and we can argue all day about whether they SHOULD be paying attention to what you’re wearing instead of the Mass…but we all know that many people DO notice these things) such as the way the members of the congregation are dressed, that it may negatively affect the state of their souls.

I can’t argue with the idea that we are unable to “impress” God with anything, but there are also thousands of instances in Scripture where it was written that someone “pleased” God through their actions. My daughter is 4 and whenever she tries to dress herself up for some special occasion there’s usually an untied shoe or a hair bow that’s not really placed very well, etc…but she is trying to please me, and just by her sincere efforts I am pleased. I know God feels the same way when we make any sort of special effort from our hearts to give him just a little something extra.

This is the verse you’re referring to, right?

"Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments" 1 Timothy 2:9

So does formal (in a Mass setting) necessarily imply gold, jewels or extravagant clothing? In some cases the answer appears to be “yes”.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_b8cVMt5KsBc/TPEb5ndjfZI/AAAAAAAABzw/WSQlgQBjHCw/s1600/b16-------.jpg

http://canons-regular.org/uploads/images/fr-miguel-5.jpg

But in the case of the laity, I would think not. You’re also implying a false dichotomy…that it’s either gold and jewels or shorts and flip-flops. There is a middle ground that is neither over the top nor overly casual, but that “modestly and discreetly” displays our respect for Christ’s sacrifice to others, in a manner that is pleasing to God.

http://bustedhalo.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/spanish-mass-large-image.jpg

Very good points. I like this and it made me stop to think about how clothing is certainly important to the priest before he comes out to celebrate Mass. Should we not think before we participate in that celebration.

Sue.

 

[PatriceA]

Would you be willing to share the response the priest gave you and an example of the extreme views you’re referring to? It might be helpful to hear what an ordained member of the clergy had to say.

Modesty is the key. But jeans, dockers, capris, a nice clean t-shirt/sweatshirt, even clean tennis shoes and flip flops in the summer are acceptable for appropriate dress for mass when I asked my priest. One doesn’t not have to be fancy in their choices, but modest. He emphasized one can not judge how irreverant or reverant a fellow Catholic may be just by what they are wearing to mass. It is more important to “dress up” your soul, than what you wear on the outside. Is your soul properly prepared for mass and to receive the Eucharist? That’s what is more important, was his response to me. Similar response when I discussed it with my spiritial advisor.

 

[TimothyH]

Modesty is the key. But jeans, dockers, capris, a nice clean t-shirt/sweatshirt, even clean tennis shoes and flip flops in the summer are acceptable for appropriate dress for mass when I asked my priest. One doesn’t not have to be fancy in their choices, but modest. He emphasized one can not judge how irreverant or reverant a fellow Catholic may be just by what they are wearing to mass. It is more important to “dress up” your soul, than what you wear on the outside. Is your soul properly prepared for mass and to receive the Eucharist? That’s what is more important, was his response to me. Similar response when I discussed it with my spiritial advisor.

Sadly, more are concerned with what other people wear than they are about contrition for their own sins.

-Tim-

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

Modesty is the key. But jeans, dockers, capris, a nice clean t-shirt/sweatshirt, even clean tennis shoes and flip flops in the summer are acceptable for appropriate dress for mass when I asked my priest. One doesn’t not have to be fancy in their choices, but modest. He emphasized one can not judge how irreverant or reverant a fellow Catholic may be just by what they are wearing to mass. It is more important to “dress up” your soul, than what you wear on the outside. Is your soul properly prepared for mass and to receive the Eucharist? That’s what is more important, was his response to me. Similar response when I discussed it with my spiritial advisor.

My priest basically said the same thing:thumbsup:

As for some extremes that the other poster asked…I have had people talk about no jeans, no sneakers, and even not showing your elbows. And of course there is the perverbial no women in pants/slacks that seems to show up.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

"Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thy heart, but correct him openly, lest thou incur sin through him” Leviticus 19:17

“He must know that he who causeth a sinner to be converted from the error of his way, shall save his soul from death, and shall cover a multitude of sins” James 5:20

“If thy brother sin against thee, reprove him: and if he do penance, forgive him” Luke 17:3

“Them that sin, reprove before all: that the rest also may have fear” 1 Timothy 5:20

“Preach the word: be instant in season, out of season: reprove, entreat, rebuke in all patience and doctrine” 2 Timothy 4:2

“Brethren, and if a man be overtaken in any fault, you, who are spiritual, instruct such a one in the spirit of meekness, considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted” Galatians 6:1

"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that is wise hearkeneth unto counsels" Proverbs 12:15

And I could say that about people who feel the need to “correct” or judge people on what they view as appropriate dress. Some of them are not very Christlike in their demeanor doing it.

 

[TrueLight]

It’s been a while since I’ve seen a modesty thread.

 

[kykid]

I think that the Lord is more concerned by what is in our hearts rather than what is on our backs.

 

[LilHomemaker]

My priest basically said the same thing:thumbsup:

As for some extremes that the other poster asked…I have had people talk about no jeans, no sneakers, and even not showing your elbows. And of course there is the perverbial no women in pants/slacks that seems to show up.

I agree with you that there can be extremes. On both sides of the issue. There can be those who feel everyone should be in suits or dresses or fancy clothes. That doesn’t always work because not everyone has fancy clothes. But there is an extreme that goes the other way. An extreme that says as long as my heart is okay I can wear whatever I want. And then you start seeing skin tight jeans and daisy dukes and tube tops and short skirts. Even men can get the casual extreme and come in shorts and indecent tshirts and flipflops.

Not too long ago at a daily mass someone wore flipflops and for some reason was late getting out of the pew and here is a quiet solemn moment suddenly interrupted by the rush of flipflops. I love flipflops but there is a place for them.

At one of the parishes in my area the priest gave a homily on dress. Similar to the one on EWTN. He spoke of the importance of your heart and if you have your heart right your actions will be right and when you pick what you are going to wear on Sunday before Mass think about who you are going to see and what will be happening and where you are going and dress appropriately. That will be different for some depending on culture and finances but dress modestly and this homily was taking place in an very poor part of town and he still wanted people to think about what they wore before coming to mass. He wasn’t asking for expensive or fancy but clothes that showed that Jesus was in our hearts.

Modesty is a big issue. Mothers we need to teach our daughters better and older women we need to be much better examples of holiness. We need to start realizing that the younger generation is watching us. A lot of the way people dress today isn’t a matter of what I can afford but what is comfortable and easy and for the younger generation what is sexy.

Titus 2:3 The aged women, in like manner, in holy attire, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teaching well: 4 That they may teach the young women to be wise,

Sue

:harp:

 

[Padraig1972]

So if your priest gives his approval to jeans and a nice t-shirt or sweatshirt, that would be ok with you? And then we can stop this silly arguement over what clothing is inappropriate and not. Somebody ALWAYS has to bring in the “formal dinner” scenerio, what one wears to the White House to meet the president, etc, etc. Too many people not paying attention to the actual mass and looking around at their fellow Catholics and taking notes so they can come on CAF and complain.

Modesty is the key and a priest knows/are well aware of that. Like i said, i put modesty and what a priest asks of us to note and try to act accordingly to what the mother church says.

Of course, there are situations with extreme heat and such, but even then you should try to dress as modest as possible. And no, i am not some judge or “know better than thou`s”

I am just a sinner and a no good, unworthy servant. A nobody in the big picture.

 

[PatriceA]

Not too long ago at a daily mass someone wore flipflops and for some reason was late getting out of the pew and here is a quiet solemn moment suddenly interrupted by the rush of flipflops. I love flipflops but there is a place for them.

Going to nitpick, but please explain to me how the sound of a rush of flipflops would be more distracting than the sound of a pair of women’s high heeled shoes? I really question if it was the sound that interrupted you, or that you realized it was flip flops and were more annoyed than if it had been a different pair of shoes that you would have found more “appropriate”.

 

[MissRose73]

To be honest, clothing worn in most business casual or professional dress code offices should be good enough for Mass as long as the clothes are not tight, short and/or revealing. Most of the clothes I own that I wear to the office with a business casual dress code are neat, clean, not tight, not revealing and any skirts/dresses worn reach the knees (or below), and are suitable for both the office and Mass. It does not take that much effort to show some respect for God and His House by wearing something decent.

 

[melissa_b]

My thought is that what my family and I wear to Mass on Sundays should be more ‘dressed up’ that what we would normally wear during the week. Since Sunday Mass is not an everyday occurence, our attire shouldn’t be either. For us that means no jeans, usually a collared shirt (at least a polo, if not a button-down) for my husband and our boys, and either a dress/skirt or nice pants for me. Is it always the nicest clothes we own? Not necessarily. Would we look out of place at our Sunday Mass if we went in everyday attire? No (especially because our Masses are held in the community gymnasium and people dress like it).

If my sons and I make it to daily Mass, I will frequently be in jeans, because that’s about all I wear during the week when leaving the house, but I’ll wear a nicer shirt than just a t-shirt, and the boys won’t be in sweatpants.

 

[zab]

My thought is that we should not need a dress code for Mass. It would seem that common sense should direct one to dress as respectfully as they can for Mass, and what we wear would sometimes vary between what we wear on weekdays and Sundays. It is not about how much God loves us and would welcome us no matter how we dress. It is about how much love and respect we show for God by how we dress. Sometimes people need a reminder just like parents remind their children to dress appropriately for whatever occassion they may attend. There should be no reason to think someone is judgeing you for what you wear simply because they remind people in general that they should dress appropriately. I think some are taking this way too personally. Even I wear jeans to Mass during the week and sometimes I wear slacks on Sunday. I need to be reminded like everyone else.

 

[LilHomemaker]

Going to nitpick, but please explain to me how the sound of a rush of flipflops would be more distracting than the sound of a pair of women’s high heeled shoes? I really question if it was the sound that interrupted you, or that you realized it was flip flops and were more annoyed than if it had been a different pair of shoes that you would have found more “appropriate”.

Well, having not been there it might seem I am nitpicking. As I said, I love flipflops but there are places I can’t wear them or feel they are too casual.

I agree with what you say about high heels but I think most women, not all, but most try to walk quiet when in church and notice the noise of their high heels. This person at the time did realize the noise she was making with her flip flops and tried after a while to walk without flipping her flops so much.

Sue

 

[FLGreg]

The way I look at it is, with only 33% of Catholics (24% of young adult Catholics) attending weekly Mass, I say let folks wear whatever they want, within reason, to Mass.

I grew up attending a parish very close to the beach of a famous Florida Spring Break destination in the 1970’s. Our pastor gave a scathing homily one week about dress code because the college students would attend Mass in shorts and t-shirts. My parents, very old school Catholics, remarked; “At least they showed up, Father … you should give them some credit”.

What does irk me today is the lack of attention to their attire some of our lectors have. One elderly lady wears what I can only describe as a denim “moo-moo” (I think the proper term is a lounger - ladies help me out?) and sandles. It bothers me so much that I am going to take the lectors training course the next time our parish offers it just so I can take her place at 0830 Mass.

 

[archangel04]

I think the issue that we are missing is that it’s not a sense of “fashion” but the possibility of leading our brothers and sister into sinning. Most women in this country know exactly what type of clothing to use to attract attention. Most men know when they are not even putting an effort when they are dressing up. It goes both ways.

 

[severus68]

Here is where we get into the show… Someone wears Dockers to Mass…is that acceptable? Someone thinks it’s better then jeans, someone thinks it’s not dressy enough, other people think its just fine… There is no end…but people seem to have a good time judging people or shaming them…

 

[severus68]

So if your priest gives his approval to jeans and a nice t-shirt or sweatshirt, that would be ok with you? And then we can stop this silly arguement over what clothing is inappropriate and not. Somebody ALWAYS has to bring in the “formal dinner” scenerio, what one wears to the White House to meet the president, etc, etc. Too many people not paying attention to the actual mass and looking around at their fellow Catholics and taking notes so they can come on CAF and complain.

Exactly.