How to dress for Mass

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I always try to be decent when I go to mass. Recently, there were parishes who will not let you take the communion if you’re wearing shorts, very short skirts or anything showing off skin. Before the mass, they would announce that they are going to refuse to give communion for those who are dressed inappropriately, they’d say that to avoid embarrassment, to please do not attempt to even fall in line. 😃
 
LightBound said:
In your above post, you stated “No one in his right mind begrudges the poor wearing what they have”…

You’d then be shocked at what has been posted over the years over in the “Traditional Catholicism” section, where some CAF members attend a “chapel” that specifically stipulates all entering for Mass must be wearing a dress shirt and tie (suit jacket for men) and women/girls must be in a dress that’s way past the knee and elbows covered. That’s why I opt to include my opinions and experiences in on any thread dealing with “How to dress for Mass”. Sometimes folks need to be reminded about the “least of these”.
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No one is saying those who can’t eat must be wearing a tux every Sunday, but here’s the essential point that is usually missed:

95% of catholics today can afford to go down to goodwill and spend $5-$20 on a decent suit. That’s all I’m saying, and I think that’s all most of us are saying. No one is saying that you must go outside your means, but even if it requires a little bit of sacrifice, nearly every adult in church should be able to dress well.
 
zab said:
I don’t look at what everyone is wearing to Mass and judge any of them. Heck, I would just be happy to see some of my adult children at Mass. What it comes down to is a person’s awareness of the respect that they should show for God by dressing appropriately. Sometimes people do have to be reminded (particularly in warmer climates where people often wear shorts and sleeveless tops). It doesn’t matter what you have in your closet or drawers. Of the clothes that you have you should choose to wear what is most appropriate for Mass. And when it is time to purchase new or “other” clothes, you would keep in mind that you need something for Church.
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Part of the problem (if we are going to call it that) is that a lot of young people don’t dress up for anything–for their graduations, for their friends weddings, for funerals–they don’t own a tie, let alone a blazer–they simply do not see the clothing they wear as showing respect. Those expensive jeans with the holes–they think those are nice clothes.

Once a year I attend mass and where shorts–I always feel guilty, not because I think
God minds, but because of other parishioners like those commenting on this forum. We travel out of town to a very hot part of the country and are on a houseboat. I have a large family and we must pack clothes, towels and food and drink for the week–I can barely get the towels, shorts and swim suits for the week packed–let alone nice dress clothes for the whole family. I have always thought that God would like the fact that we brought the boat in, docked and attended mass, while everyone else tell us we are nuts, even if it means we wear shorts. No one at mass knows us–yet I am sure there are those sitting in the pews thinking we are just terrible – I just am not sure why they should be so troubled.

Peace,
Mark
 
TheMc said:
95% of catholics today can afford to go down to goodwill and spend $5-$20 on a decent suit. That’s all I’m saying, and I think that’s all most of us are saying. No one is saying that you must go outside your means, but even if it requires a little bit of sacrifice, nearly every adult in church should be able to dress well.
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Actually, 95% of catholics today live in undeveloped countries where $20 might be a weeks’ salary… and, personally, it’s difficult to find a decent suit from good will, most of them are going to end up being the wrong size, tacky materials, and such. Why should the poor have to embarrass themselves to live up to such an arbitrary “suit and tie” standard? Why can’t decent, well sized slacks or khakis and a polo shirt work? That would be FAR more respectable in any social circle, church included, than showing up in some plaid tweed suit with elbow pads that’s too short in the arms and too wide in the chest.
 
I have long wondered about this question. For me personally I hold to these simple rules: Clean, buttons, collared, long sleeved, no blue jeans and no sneakers. Business casual if you will. That works for me. Now my question.

When I attend one of my parishes I am routinely given “the glare” because I do not wear a coat or tie. When I stop to look at the glaring men I have to chuckle. I see short sleeved shirts with ties (a taboo in my understanding of how to dress.) Ties that are either FAR too wide or narrow and often knotted incorrectly for the type of tie they are. Clip-on ties that are only half-clipped because the man’s neck is too thick for his shirt. Bolo ties with non-western wear. Old suit coats worn as blazers/sport coats. Coats and slacks that clash horribly. Military surplus combat boots worn with suits. White socks worn with dress clothes. Even white belts with white shoes (the infamous full-Cleveland.) A penchant for multiple (in some cases MANY!) lapel pins.

I can’t help but chuckle. While I notice such things only after people bring themselves to my attention (via the glare) I cannot help to wonder about the irony and ultimately the absurdity of such people. They don’t dress they way they do because of the economy. They dress the way they do because that’s how they have been conditioned to dress and they don’t have the personal taste to question themselves. It makes their glares all the more silly, and ignored.
 
TheMc said:
No one is saying those who can’t eat must be wearing a tux every Sunday, but here’s the essential point that is usually missed:

95% of catholics today can afford to go down to goodwill and spend $5-$20 on a decent suit. That’s all I’m saying, and I think that’s all most of us are saying. No one is saying that you must go outside your means, but even if it requires a little bit of sacrifice, nearly every adult in church should be able to dress well.
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Just who is suggesting that a suit is required or even necessarily appropriate for Sunday Mass?
 
zab said:
The nasty shows itself in many ways ;).
The photo is from our Sister Parish in Uganda- Our Lady Mary Mother of the Church Nyakishenyi
facebook.com/#!/groups/121111054605752/photos/
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Thank you, what a lovely congregation!

One point that is hardly ever brought up is that we take our weekly Mass for granted, where in many countries and remote areas, they do not see a priest more than maybe twice a year, so when Mass is celebrated, it is a Big Deal and worthy of very careful dress. I do not know if this is the case with your sister Parish, but I was watching a show on EWTN about a town in South America that was preparing for a Mass after a very long time between priest visits. And it brought me to tears, thinking of how some of my fellow parishioners slump up to receive with their hands at their sides, looking around, wearing cargo shorts and flip-flops. Knowing that of course God doesn’t judge, but if we could only receive once a year, how much more care we would take with our appearance, knowing we were going to be receiving the Lord’s Body and Blood.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Thank you, what a lovely congregation!

One point that is hardly ever brought up is that we take our weekly Mass for granted, where in many countries and remote areas, they do not see a priest more than maybe twice a year, so when Mass is celebrated, it is a Big Deal and worthy of very careful dress. I do not know if this is the case with your sister Parish, but I was watching a show on EWTN about a town in South America that was preparing for a Mass after a very long time between priest visits. And it brought me to tears, thinking of how some of my fellow parishioners slump up to receive with their hands at their sides, looking around, wearing cargo shorts and flip-flops. Knowing that of course God doesn’t judge, but if we could only receive once a year, how much more care we would take with our appearance, knowing we were going to be receiving the Lord’s Body and Blood.
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My parents live about a one hour drive from the nearest town. They have to wake up very early, 5.30 am every Sunday, to get to Mass on time. No-one in their area takes anything for granted.

And yet it is a rural area with mostly farmers or labourers and few professionals. Add to that a stinking hot tropical climate, and the dress code is casual. Which is not the same thing as immodest. None of which means anyone takes their Mass for granted.
 
promethius said:
Actually, 95% of catholics today live in undeveloped countries where $20 might be a weeks’ salary… and, personally, it’s difficult to find a decent suit from good will, most of them are going to end up being the wrong size, tacky materials, and such. Why should the poor have to embarrass themselves to live up to such an arbitrary “suit and tie” standard? Why can’t decent, well sized slacks or khakis and a polo shirt work? That would be FAR more respectable in any social circle, church included, than showing up in some plaid tweed suit with elbow pads that’s too short in the arms and too wide in the chest.
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I meant to say 95% of American Catholics. I think it’s safe to assume most members of this board are in America, since these boards are in English.

I stand corrected.

I guess I’ve always had good luck finding good suits at different Goodwills in different parts of the country. Obviously, a polo would be better than a tacky suit.
 
TheMc said:
I meant to say 95% of American Catholics. I think it’s safe to assume most members of this board are in America, since these boards are in English.

I stand corrected.

I guess I’ve always had good luck finding good suits at different Goodwills in different parts of the country. Obviously, a polo would be better than a tacky suit.
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To be correct, if 95% on CAF may be Amreicans, it is not because of the language, it is because it is a site set up in the US by Americans. There is the UK where all speak English, the Philippines where many do, Europe etc.

To respond to your earlier modest, why is a suit required to attend mass?
 
I do not ask that everyone dress to the nines for Mass but people can take some effort to dress decently & modestly for Mass. I’ve made sure my wardrobe is suitable for both the office with a business casual code of dress and for Mass. Most of my shirts, pants, skirts, sweaters, dress jackets and dresses in my closet are suitable for both my earthly employer in the office and my heavenly one at His house. The remaining clothes I own are suitable for other occasions such as formal or very casual ones.
 
I suspect if most knew the history (which is quite recent) of “suits” (actually “sack suits” which Brooks Brothers still sells) they would be far less inclined to consider them the only appropriate wear for Mass.
 
Unfortunately, I am not able to see the picture that was posted of Mass at Mary, Mother of the Church, Nyakishenyi Parish. However, I am aware that I am the only parishioner from Our Lady Star of the Sea Catholic Church who has visited our Sister Parish. It troubles me that an example is being made of what may or may not be acceptable in one culture from someone who has not put themselves within the context of that culture. Thus, I truly hope that the photo that was illustrated was perhaps demonstrating what may be acceptable in one culture as not being acceptable in another. For example, at Mass at Mary, Mother of the Church, Nyakishenyi Parish, one would find many people without shoes. However, one would not find a woman wearing pants. I would appreciate it if whoever posted the image would direct me to which Facebook page it was taken from. Mine? Blessings ~ Tammi Murray, Sister Parish Ministry Chairperson, Our Lady Star of the Sea Catholic Church, Bremerton
 
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