How to feel comfortable talking with a priest and reaching out in church?

[multitude]

Most priests I have met are very happy-go-lucky people. I don’t think I’ve ever met a mean one. Some stern ones, sure, but not really gruff, or mean, or anything like that.

 

[Brendan_64]

The roadblocks here seem very odd to me. I know it’s strange, but I kind of feel like this might be a sign I’m not meant to go any further. I know it’s not a staffing issue. Is it uncommon for people to make appointments to speak with their priest outside of Mass or Confession?

Maybe you ought to just go up to the parish house and knock on his door?

 

[phantom87]

Hi all,

I’m in the middle of trying to discern whether or not to become Catholic (and have posted on here before a couple of times before, great community!). I’ve attended daily Mass for the last week and my first RCIA class last night. I love the teachings of the Church, the liturgy, etc. My only obstacle, it seems, is finding a way to feel comfortable talking with a priest, or asking to the discuss questions/concerns I might have. I can be shy anyway, but it seems like this huge thing to openly talk about personal faith struggles with a stranger, not just because of the struggles per se, but how the priest is going to judge you for them, or judge you in general (I know a lot of people say this won’t happen, but I have a hard time believing it). And since I know the Church is very hierarchical, and the priest represents God in some respects besides, it seems like his opinion of you carries a lot of weight.

Does anyone have any advice about this, or is this a totally abnormal thing to feel worried about? I do very much want to ask the questions and have the discussion, but I don’t know how to begin. I sent an email asking if I could make an appointment with the priest who attended our RCIA class, but so far haven’t heard anything back.

I was totally the same way when I started RCIA years ago so I can see why you would feel somewhat nervous … I guess I felt like I was gonna be judged if I felt one way or another but at the end of the day nothing is further from the truth, the Priest is there to help you… Help you grow in your faith answer any questions you might have about the faith or the Church in general

 

[7_Sorrows]

There is nothing you can tell a priest that he has not heard many times before. You may think there is, but there’s not. I have seven uncles who are priests, so I should know, though of course, they never divulge the contents of a private conversation to me.

I find parish emails often go astray. I would call for an appointment.

how blessed to have 7 uncles who are priests.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Thank you all again for the kind responses. Since I never received a response to my email I ended up calling the parish and asking to make an appointment. The very nice lady on the phone transferred me to someone’s voice mail, but I didn’t hear back after a week. So I called again this morning and made an appointment with a different priest.

The roadblocks here seem very odd to me. I know it’s strange, but I kind of feel like this might be a sign I’m not meant to go any further. I know it’s not a staffing issue. Is it uncommon for people to make appointments to speak with their priest outside of Mass or Confession?

Try not to read so much into things. Not everything that happens is a sign. Even what doesn’t look like a staffing issue might very well be one. My parish has four priests, four permanent deacons, a full-time secretary and a bevy of volunteers (I think all the activities run by volunteers put together assembles over 300 people), including the head sacristan (that would be me ). On paper, there shouldn’t be any problem getting things done in a timely fashion. And yet.

Nearly all the priests I know have appointment after appointment, day after day, with all sorts of people for all sorts of reasons. So I would say lay persons making appointments to speak with priests is not uncommon at all. Hoping your own goes (or went) well.

Most priests I have met are very happy-go-lucky people. I don’t think I’ve ever met a mean one. Some stern ones, sure, but not really gruff, or mean, or anything like that.

You haven’t met mine. He’s got a heart of gold, but it takes a looooooooooooooooooooong time to get to know him well enough to see that. But I agree with you that this is not the norm.

how blessed to have 7 uncles who are priests.

I thought the same thing when I first read about Lily’s uncles. :yup: I don’t even have seven uncles, and neither of the ones I do have was or is a priest!

 

[Casilda]

Thank you all again for the kind responses. Since I never received a response to my email I ended up calling the parish and asking to make an appointment. The very nice lady on the phone transferred me to someone’s voice mail, but I didn’t hear back after a week. So I called again this morning and made an appointment with a different priest.

The roadblocks here seem very odd to me. I know it’s strange, but I kind of feel like this might be a sign I’m not meant to go any further. I know it’s not a staffing issue. Is it uncommon for people to make appointments to speak with their priest outside of Mass or Confession?

The roadblocks are placed there by the gatekeepers. I experienced the same at half a dozen parishes in my diocese. The worse was an appointment I made with a priest and no one showed up. The church was closed. The appointment taker didn’t notify the priest of our appointment? I remember it well because my mother died suddenly the next day, so it hit me really hard.

I did take it as a sign that God didn’t want me back in the Roman Catholic Church. I tried an Eastern Catholic parish, less people, less busy priests, etc.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Another thought, inspired by something Lily said above: I don’t recommend trying to contact anyone in a parish via email unless you already have an established relationship with the person you’re trying to communicate with. Our pastor alone receives about a hundred emails a day, and it can take a month or longer for him to catch up when he falls behind in reading them. A phone call, however, he will return in a day or two without fail (like all priests in this parish, Father answers his own phone and manages his own schedule—one does not go through a secretary to get to our priests).

The roadblocks are placed there by the gatekeepers. I experienced the same at half a dozen parishes in my diocese. The worse was an appointment I made with a priest and no one showed up. The church was closed. The appointment taker didn’t notify the priest of our appointment? I remember it well because my mother died suddenly the next day, so it hit me really hard.

I did take it as a sign that God didn’t want me back in the Roman Catholic Church. I tried an Eastern Catholic parish, less people, less busy priests, etc.

Sometimes, but not always. I agree it happens, however, and often doesn’t have to. I am truly sorry that it happened to you, not just once but time after time after time, and I’m glad you’ve found a place that better addresses your needs. :yup:

God is happy that you are somewhere in the Catholic Church and, I believe, is otherwise neutral on exactly which part of her you call your spiritual home. Latin or Eastern, it’s all His Church.

 

[Brendan_64]

The worse was an appointment I made with a priest and no one showed up. The church was closed. The appointment taker didn’t notify the priest of our appointment? I remember it well because my mother died suddenly the next day, so it hit me really hard.

That is very sad indeed, just awful.