How to find a Christian Husband?

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duchess453

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Ok, so I’m 22 years old and though not currently Catholic, I do intend to become one in the future. I’ve been asked out twice, once by a male who was older and had a past child, it was clear he wasn’t interested in finding a good mother for his child to me so I felt best to back out. Another a co-worker who isn’t really religious or doesn’t particularly like children but has a hard time finding anyone himself as he is in his late 20’s.

I’m having a hard time finding a good husband. I really am interested in having a big family, where I stay at home and homeschool my children. I am also interested in traveling to other countries and doing mission trips. I do know I want a career as a novelist but, again, this is something one can typically do at home. I have not been asked out otherwise, done anything with a guy of a sexual nature, and am starting to worry this might be the future I’m looking at. I’ve thought of being a single mom but know I would probably get quiet lonely though my own Non- Christian parents think I have the willpower to do it. I have considered single vocations like becoming a nun as well.

I really don’t get out too much. I go to school, work, and home. I’m quite nice to people though very shy, and do feel that also being overweight (yes, I’m in progress of fixing it) may be impeding my meeting the one. I will say I’m also more interested in a man being the gentleman and asking me out, not vice versa. So, any advice on finding and getting the one?
 
You sound like you have a lot you want to accomplish in life, and it’s great that, at 22, you know your goals.

My advice to you is to not focus on finding a husband, but to focus on the goals you have that marriage and motherhood would impede: the mission trips and writing. What will make you most attractive to healthy, normal man is having a healthy, happy life yourself. Take this time now, while you are single, to do the things you want to do. A friend of mine was quite active in her twenties, and when she finally settled down @30, she told me she was really happy with everything she did after college. It made it much easier to accept being home and caring for a family.

If you are very overweight, yes, do lose the weight now. Much easier at 22 than later on. The healthier you are, the better able you will be to care for others.
 
I suggest Ave Maria Singles.

avemariasingles.com/about_Ave_Maria_Single_Catholics.cfm

Date. Become friends. Share your hopes and dreams. And if you find you enjoy each other’s company regardless of what you do together, you have a good foundation for a lifelong commitment. Of course, should you reach the courtship part, meet his parents and have him meet yours. Find out what the two of you want out of life BEFORE the ceremony.

Too many today just decide to hop in the sack, only to find out later that sack-time is a tiny part of your married life. You need a Godly man who knows what commitment means. No, no one is perfect so really get to know the other person.

Hope this helps,
Ed
 
duchess453 said:
Ok, so I’m 22 years old and though not currently Catholic, I do intend to become one in the future. I’ve been asked out twice, once by a male who was older and had a past child, it was clear he wasn’t interested in finding a good mother for his child to me so I felt best to back out. Another a co-worker who isn’t really religious or doesn’t particularly like children but has a hard time finding anyone himself as he is in his late 20’s.

I’m having a hard time finding a good husband. I really am interested in having a big family, where I stay at home and homeschool my children. I am also interested in traveling to other countries and doing mission trips. I do know I want a career as a novelist but, again, this is something one can typically do at home. I have not been asked out otherwise, done anything with a guy of a sexual nature, and am starting to worry this might be the future I’m looking at. I’ve thought of being a single mom but know I would probably get quiet lonely though my own Non- Christian parents think I have the willpower to do it. I have considered single vocations like becoming a nun as well.

I really don’t get out too much. I go to school, work, and home. I’m quite nice to people though very shy, and do feel that also being overweight (yes, I’m in progress of fixing it) may be impeding my meeting the one. I will say I’m also more interested in a man being the gentleman and asking me out, not vice versa. So, any advice on finding and getting the one?
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If I could make a suggestion Miss? Focus on Christ. Find Christ first. You say you intend to become Catholic someday. That you wish to go on mission trips. Why not start by getting into RCIA. Becoming Catholic should be your first step. Why? Because in Christ’s One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church you can learn the fullness of His revealed Truth. You can share in His Sacraments. You can receive the graces from receiving Him body and blood. These are life giving graces that sustain us. And they cannot be found anywhere outside of His Catholic Church. You can not build a more personal relationship with Christ than by receiving Him body and blood. That should be your very first step. For with Christ strengthening you and providing you clarity and peace, the rest of life will fall in place according to His will. I looked for years and years and years to find the right girl. You want to know where I found her? On facebook on a page called “Ask a Catholic Nun”. I was studying and discerning the seminary. I wanted to be a Priest. It was only when I had given up any notion of finding the right girl when God brought her directly into my life in the most unexpected way. But I praise Him daily for it. When I sought a girlfriend it was the girlfriend I sought, not Christ. Failed relationship after failed relationship finally broke me down enough to give up on “my” search. It was then, and only then, that I was able to give myself totally to Christ and start to allow Him to guide me. And He showed me where He wanted me to be. It was not where I expected. I was surprised and confused. But once I got to know her, it all became clear. For the first time in my life, I don’t have any doubts as to whether or not I’m doing the right thing. I have no reservations. God has pointed me where He wants me to go and I am obeying 👍

Long story short. Seek Christ with all your heart. Come home to Him in His One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church and let Him take care of the rest. That is the only way I can suggest, if you wish to involve years of wasted effort and heartache haha
 
I believe that if you continue to pray and stay open to God’s Will, He will lead you to the future He has in store for you. He won’t let you down. I admire your goals! God bless you:)
 
Ah, if only I could justify paying for an online service, I would try ava maria singles. seems a bit expensive, though. not too many Catholics out here that I know, and single!

Pray, and open your mind to possibilities! Wish I had better advice for you, but I’m in the same boat as you.

Good Luck!
 
duchess453 said:
Ok, so I’m 22 years old and though not currently Catholic, I do intend to become one in the future. I’ve been asked out twice, once by a male who was older and had a past child, it was clear he wasn’t interested in finding a good mother for his child to me so I felt best to back out. Another a co-worker who isn’t really religious or doesn’t particularly like children but has a hard time finding anyone himself as he is in his late 20’s.

I’m having a hard time finding a good husband. I really am interested in having a big family, where I stay at home and homeschool my children. I am also interested in traveling to other countries and doing mission trips. I do know I want a career as a novelist but, again, this is something one can typically do at home. I have not been asked out otherwise, done anything with a guy of a sexual nature, and am starting to worry this might be the future I’m looking at. I’ve thought of being a single mom but know I would probably get quiet lonely though my own Non- Christian parents think I have the willpower to do it. I have considered single vocations like becoming a nun as well.

I really don’t get out too much. I go to school, work, and home. I’m quite nice to people though very shy, and do feel that also being overweight (yes, I’m in progress of fixing it) may be impeding my meeting the one. I will say I’m also more interested in a man being the gentleman and asking me out, not vice versa. So, any advice on finding and getting the one?
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Hello Love!
Firstly, it’s wonderful that you know what you want!
Like you, I knew I wanted to be a SAHM, have a bunch of kids, and ONLY marry a Christian man.
It kinda stinks though too, because that tends to cut out a larrrge percentage of available men… :o

When I was your age, and thinking “yeah I could get married now” I kept my eyes open, but I kept going with what my plans were.
I wanted to do missions and go to university for Fine Arts, I wanted to take my 2 year course in Library tech, then move to Montreal. 🙂

There weren’t any men around, I went ahead with my plan - and that’s what you need to do too!
You say you want to be in missions?? That’s awesome, y’know, I have never been on a missions trip. Something I really regret not doing when I was unattached.
I never really lived as a single person, or roomed with girlfriends.

Now is the prefect time for you to achieve some of those goals you’ve set for yourself.
Expect your future husband to show up, but don’t wait on him. 🙂 (metaphorically, I did save sex until marriage, so you know, wait on some things. 😉 )

As for my story, well, I never took fine arts, or moved to montreal.
I met my husband my second year of college, finishing my Lib tech course and then married.

I had my plans, then God changed them!

Look into missions, look into your schooling and travelling - get those things done!
It’s so much easier when you’re single!

Peace,
~ PetiteFoi
 
Several people have already given you a lot of great advice. I agree with most of the posts. I would say the most important thing is to focus on Christ. Mt 6:33 “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Also, you’ll drive yourself crazy if you become consumed with finding “the one.” Enjoy life. Persue your hopes and dreams and when its time God will bring someone into your life. You’e awfully young to be over concerned with such things. Check out this article about settling, bit.ly/3ydqBb. Praying for you!
 
Ok, so I’m 22 years old and though not currently Catholic, I do intend to become one in the future. I’ve been asked out twice, once by a male who was older and had a past child, it was clear he wasn’t interested in finding a good mother for his child to me so I felt best to back out. Another a co-worker who isn’t really religious or doesn’t particularly like children but has a hard time finding anyone himself as he is in his late 20’s.

I’m having a hard time finding a good husband. I really am interested in having a big family, where I stay at home and homeschool my children. I am also interested in traveling to other countries and doing mission trips. I do know I want a career as a novelist but, again, this is something one can typically do at home. I have not been asked out otherwise, done anything with a guy of a sexual nature, and am starting to worry this might be the future I’m looking at. I’ve thought of being a single mom but know I would probably get quiet lonely though my own Non- Christian parents think I have the willpower to do it. I have considered single vocations like becoming a nun as well.

I really don’t get out too much. I go to school, work, and home. I’m quite nice to people though very shy, and do feel that also being overweight (yes, I’m in progress of fixing it) may be impeding my meeting the one. I will say I’m also more interested in a man being the gentleman and asking me out, not vice versa. So, any advice on finding and getting the one?
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Wow!
Both a lot intended to go on here but nothing really going on. You need a reality check.
That’s not a problem in itself given your age but you do have to stop, reflect and consider what you really want.

First, the Catholic question. Investigate it and decide but don’t put off the investigation.

Second, the weight. You say you are addressing it. It doesn’t matter to God but for men, yep, it usually does!

Third, Who asks whom out? Doesn’t matter, and it doesn’t have to be formal. If you meet someone you’d like to know better, just talk with him. And it doesn’t really have anything to do with being a gentleman; It has to do with being a person.

Fourth, your goals re career. You have too many and they conflict. Writing novels is hard! And lots of luck finding time with a big family. And you have to have talent and nurture it. Practice. Write. It isn’t something you do at home on a whim.

Traveling for pleasure? Usually takes money or time or both.

Traveling a a missionary? Do you have any religious training or intend to get it? This might have something to do with the Catholic thing. A Catholic missionary? Probably have to be Catholic for that one.

A goal, even a fallback goal, of being as single mom? Get serious!

Being a nun? (As opposed to a single mother? Girl, you are all over the place! These aren’t goals, they’re notions).

You don’t say what you are studying in school. It would be good to know that to see if your studies are related to your professed goals (creative writing? early childhood education?-for the homeschooling).

You don’t say what you do for work. Is it aligned with any of your ideas about your goals? If not, why not?

Ideas for finding the one?
Yes, find yourself first. Too many people are looking for the right person instead of *being *the right person.

You need to get to know You. once you do that you’ll find all kinds of opportunities for study, work and love.

Until you do this not much good will happen in any of those areas.
Concentrate on you.
You are the most important person in the world.Not in a mean-spirited or selfish way but in an essential way.
 
duchess453 said:
but has a hard time finding anyone himself as he is in his late 20’s.
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I resemble that remark!
I’m having a hard time finding a good husband. I really am interested in having a big family, where I stay at home and homeschool my children. I am also interested in traveling to other countries and doing mission trips. I do know I want a career as a novelist but, again, this is something one can typically do at home. I have not been asked out otherwise, done anything with a guy of a sexual nature, and am starting to worry this might be the future I’m looking at. I’ve thought of being a single mom but know I would probably get quiet lonely though my own Non- Christian parents think I have the willpower to do it. I have considered single vocations like becoming a nun as well.
Click to expand...
I really don’t get out too much. I go to school, work, and home. I’m quite nice to people though very shy, and do feel that also being overweight (yes, I’m in progress of fixing it) may be impeding my meeting the one. I will say I’m also more interested in a man being the gentleman and asking me out, not vice versa. So, any advice on finding and getting the one?
Click to expand...
You might find yourself a different person in 2-3 years from now, judging by the look of it. Lots of storms in that one. But you’ll smooth out eventually. It’ll just take some time. As a 22 year old female you’re basically a case of dynamite right now but that’s not permanent, so don’t worry. 😉
 
Well, as some are interested in knowing I am an English major with a Communications minor. I do only have part time work in retail at the moment and live in a very strict household. My parents and family are not Catholic or even Christian, in fact, they would oppose the idea.They are in fact Unitarian/Pagen as well as my siblings. My parents to others are deemed quite controlling everything from finances to getting at me over my weight. I do know some friends are a little freaked by them or won’t come over seeing how my parents use them to guilt trip me to do something they want me to. I do not have the funds at this time to be self-sufficient and struggle to get into a graduate teaching assistant program in one year.
 
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