How to find a really true roman catholic girl to marry her?

[Amateur_Soul]

I have to ask: why do you want to live in the US so badly? I mean maybe I am taking it for granted but having travelled in Europe quite a bit and in Germany specifically, what is missing there that is in the US? (Trash on the streets? Violent crime? Gangs and guns? ) Sorry, I live in Los Angeles and things here are just not that great. Also I am of German descent and I would gladly live in Germany if I could transplant my job, family, etc. At least for a period of time.

The USA is a great country but it is not paradise. And I would venture to say the cities could barely be called purgatory

 

[Amateur_Soul]

first of all women are not a laundry list to be ticked off one at a time. you make finding a wife sound like ordering a pizza, with special ingrediants. Most women would not find a profile like that appealing. How about what you like to do for fun? what kind of music you listen to? do you like to read? etc. this way you may find someone you can enjoy your life with rather than just a preordered persona. Good luck!

I agree – you can say that your religion is the most important thing to you but you should also list what else you like to do. Personally, I would just let God handle this for you. Go about your life, do you work, do the things you like to do and if it is meant to be you will meet someone along the way. Just don’t let the world wear you down and settle for anyone just because you start to run out of time–there really is no such thing as that when it comes to meeting the right person.

Of course all of this is easy to say – but I understand where you are – I have been there.

 

[valient_Lucy]

The unitive aspect of marital relations is the Love

Yeah…you sorta left that out

Thank you. I thought about that when I first read that “sex was only for procreation.” Yes, it is an important aspect of marital relations, and every act must be open to new life. But to completly leave out love (the unitive aspect) is just so…depressing.

 

[valient_Lucy]

ABC’s of Choosing a Good Wife How to Find and Marry a Great Girl

Every Man Should Read This Book to Help Him Make the Greatest Decision of His Life.
Let’s face it. Finding a good woman is no easy task in our materialistic, pleasure-seeking, divorce-plagued society. In fact, many men today have given up hope of ever finding a good woman to marry.

The same thing could be said about women! It’s very hard to find a decent man in today’s society, and many of us feel like giving up! :twocents:

 

[LilyM]

The not drinking requirement is a concern as well … drinking itself isn’t immoral at all, though of course you don’t want to marry an alcoholic who is addicted to drink.

 

[KCT]

To the OP - just become the best person you can be. If you are called to marriage, there could be a woman out there praying for the right husband. Maybe that’s you, but neither of you is ready yet.

Be active in your parish, and be the best person you can be. —KCT

 

[Robaynne]

I must admit when I first read this thread I said “In your dreams this will never happen”. Peter have you ever prayed to God to send you a good women with good qualities and so on and so on.

And another thing why can you not go to the USA yourself on your own steam so that nobody can turn around later and say it is because of me that you are here today.Why don’t you concentrate on getting to USA and later worry about meeting a good woman.

If I was a single or widow and I read what you wrote I would not have given you even a chance because it seems to be all about YOU. If you said you were looking for a good Catholic women with good Catholic qualities and other qualities it would be understandable. What would happen if you did meet a good catholic women with all the qualities that you want in a women but she smoked or had a glass of wine now and again would you not be interested or even she was from Australia instead of USA would you not be interested.

Sometimes that is the problem with us this person is good looking, money, status, car etc and we take them and stay with them for a very long time but they have no manners and no respect for women. And a pretty women, dresses nice but is a bit overweight but has excellent qualities a man will not even look at her. You don’t look at the outside of a women/man you look at the inside and what good qualities they have. And one day God will send you a good women pray to him and tell him what you want.

Goodluck I really hope that you find what you are looking for. But do it on your own if your dream is to go to American do it on your own steam.

 

[peter99]

First:

As I wrote that sentence “The sex is only for the creation of new life…” I only thought about that my wife never would kill an unborn child because we had had the sex because we BOTH wanted our child. What a child? I say you never would believe. I would say to my wife: OK, our sex is very rare. First let us pray to God for a child that loves the Lord our God with all its heart, and with all its soul, and with all its mind, and with all its strength and loves its neighbour as itself (The New Testament of the King James Bible. The Gospel According to Saint Mark (12:28-31)) because I really never did that and when I give my child as a present to God, our Father in heaven will be happy and will forgive me my big sins. (I still know: for forgiveness I must confess. Do not worry: I did it (it was hard) and I got the solution). My wife never would must confess any sex sin. She would feel well and free. She never would be under pressure because I never would force her into the sex when she would not be ready for the sex.

Second:

The unitive aspect is something new for me. OK, you catched me. I must correct me. What could I do for her? I could hug her, kiss her but I would never kiss her there or let me kiss there. I could make erotic massages on her and I would try out and always new things on her body only to make her happy. I would still think how to always make her happy. But to make the sex that could create the new life when she would not be ready for the creation of new life that is a problem for me because the contraception is forbidden and I agree to that and I have read (I do not know more where) that using NFP is not 100% sure. Do I think false about NFP? Would I really must do the sex by using NFP to avoid the leave the unitive aspect? There is so many possibility without the sex to make my wife happy. I would must make that she never would feel to be alone or isolated. I know situations where partners talk to each other but they both feel alone because they really do not talk to each other. They only do monologs.

 

[peter99]

Third:

I do not live in a need. I do not must to immigrate to the U.S.A. because of a need. I am established in Hamburg. If I would immigrate to the U.S.A I am sure I would be shocked and live more worse as in Hamburg. I planned to immigrate to the U.S.A. more later. But it can happen that I will meet the one here in the Europe and so I will never immigrate to the U.S.A. I know very good all the negetive sites of the life in the U.S.A. It is more probable to be robbed and killed in Los Ageles as in Hamburg. Hamburg is more secure as Los Angeles. Why should I leave Hamburg. Am I crazy? I am poor but I will never starve in Hamburg. I live well but I must be (very) careful with my money. I enjoy my time by learning English, searching in the internet and talking with you (I discovered me because I learned from you, thank you all)

Fourth:

To manipulate a U.S. girl to get the U.S. citizenship and to divorce her after I would get the U.S. citizenship I would wrote another profile. I would write a very nice profile (and I would get a false catholic U.S.girl, and that would be very bad for me). I would write no obstacles because to write “she must be…” make me very uninterested for the most girls. They can think I am a tyrant, stupid or crazy. Perhaps I will never marry. Good so. I do not want to marry any false catholic U.S. girl. But the one could ask me. The one would be not frightened. I am a tyrant but only before the marriage. I would ask her all so long until I would know she is the one. I am now tired of the asking but I will not leave the “she must…”. I am free and that is my freedom. After the marriage I am not free. I am on the duty to do all to keep, preserve, conserve and save our marriage and keep always my wife in a good mood (that’s why I do not tolerate any quantity of alcohol, because people that drink alcohol (even a little) do not pay attention perfectly and can hurt (even unintentional) each other. If I do not my duty I am a big sinner and after my death I go to the hell because I married freely. No for U.S. citizenship. No one forced me to immigrate to the U.S.A. No need. This was my free will. The primary destination of my life is to marry the really true roman catholic girl because I do not want to be like the tree from The New Testament of the King James Bible. The Gospel According to Saint Matthew (3:10): every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. The secondary destination of my life is to live in the U.S.A. Unfortunately I live outside the U.S.A. so I can only marry the really true roman catholic U.S. girl. Unfortunately all think I want to manipulate a U.S. girl to get the U.S. citizenship and after that to divorce her. I hope the one will recognize (discover) my true intentions.

Fith:

I know many pathological things in the U.S.A. I know that I will must work very hard. Day after day, perhaps ca. 15 ours per day. No time to learn English, searching in the intenet and talking with you. It can be I will die of that hard working because I am healthy but physically not too strong for the very hard work. But I would be home and die home. I want to be a full member of the biggest and wisest nation of the world. The spirituality in the U.S.A. is bigger then in Europe. No one must be ashamed when he said he feel God or he is provide by God or he make will of God. The U.S.A. is my spiritualy home. I simply want to come home even if it is more dangerous as Hamburg.

Sixth:

To go to the U.S.A. on my own steam. Actually that does not work. Actually (if) I would get a time limited U.S. Visa for truck drivers. After the Visa expired I would must leave the U.S.A. And where I would go to? Or do you believe I could pay all the time 2 rented flats, one in Hamburg and one in the U.S.A. You have right. I will never realize my dream I only can try and hope. Now I can only live my life in Hamburg: to (endless) learn English , to search in the internet and talk with you. Perhaps is that good. Who can that know?

 

[buffalo]

The same thing could be said about women! It’s very hard to find a decent man in today’s society, and many of us feel like giving up! :twocents:

ABCs of Choosing a Good Husband *How to Find and Marry a Great Guy

• Every Woman Should Read This Book-Before Making a Mistake That Leads to Life-long Problems
  Let’s face it. Finding a good man is no easy task in our materialistic, pleasure-seeking, divorce-plagued society. In fact, many women today have given up hope of ever finding a good man to marry. This unique new book offers practical and insightful advice to women on how to choose a partner for life-and it restores hope that a lasting, loving, and fulfilling marriage is possible in a divorce-prone world.

 

[I_A]

Peter,

I’ve heard the book “Love and Responsibility” written by Karol Wojtyła (Pope John Paul II) when he was still in Poland is a very good read. I’m assuming it was probably written in Polish and may have a different title.

If you are interested in coming to the US first pray about it, then talk to people in your dioscese. I have met a couple Polish priests that have come to minister here. If a priest in Poland knows a priest in the US perhaps you can get a job working for a parish, Catholic school, or orphange in exchange for a place to live and a small sum of money until you find a higher paying job (or you may find it your calling.)

Depending on your age you can also join various volunteer groups that are around the world. There is the Jesuit Volunteer Corps, Reginum Christi, Fransican groups and I’m sure tons more. Some might put you up in a place to live and provide food.

Whatever your choice is, don’t let it be your choice, give it over to God. If you let Him He will lead you to wherever He wants you to go, so do not fear. Just be sure to pray and discern.

 

[Whiggamore]

Peter, Peter, Peter. I can relate.

Do you pray for your wife? Whoever and wherever she is, I pray for mine all the time. More than anything, pray for you. Make sure that you are the man God meant you to be; the man you must be to love this girl like she deserves. Know yourself, love yourself, and be true to yourself so you can love her. She’s out there somewhere, don’t worry. Just make sure you’re ready because you only get one chance and when she’s the most beautiful thing you’ve know, know, and will ever know you don’t want to mess it up.

What torture.

Peter, Peter, Peter. I can relate. Just work on that English and drop the tyrannt pickup-line. Okay?

 

[peter99]

I_A_ wrote:

I’ve heard the book “Love and Responsibility” written by Karol Wojtyla (Pope John Paul II) when he was still in Poland is a very good read. I’m assuming it was probably written in Polish and may have a different title.<<

The title is “Miłość i Odpowiedzialność”. The translation is exact. I know this from:
slowo.com.pl/kielce/?dod=11&id=3588

 

[katybird]

You do know that coming to the US is very expensive and difficult, don’t you? Basically, she would have to support you - and prove to the US government that she is capable of supporting you to a fairly high standard - in order for you to be allowed in our country. Sure, you would be able to find some sort of work, but unless you have some amazing technical skills that our population is short on, I don’t think you’ll have much luck until you’re already here and have a green card. For one thing, your English isn’t very fluent. Not only can this make it hard for you to find work, it can also make it hard for you to find an American woman to marry - you are probably unaware of how demanding and strange your list of things you require in a wife sounds to our ears. The subtle nuances of English would enable you to spell out what you’re looking for in a way that doesn’t sound so demanding and harsh.

And, I do have to warn you: Americans in general are very wary of foreigners looking for US citizenship. Even though I married an Englishman who owned two businesses, many of my acquaintances were very worried that he was just after a ticket to the USA.

As it so happened, I was after a ticket to the UK.

 

[iasd1234]

I am married for the third time.

I admit to stupidity on the first two. Also, to being a poor judge of men. I was also abused by the first two husbands.

Current husband is a CONVERT…

I had been away from the catholic church for over two decades and have come back.

Pray for our dear Lord to send you the right one at the right time.

 

[catholickitten]

"The sex is only for the creation of new life and only after we would be married.
"

I don’t think you are in accord with Catholic theology in this. It sounds like you are leaving out the unitive aspect. Just something to think of.

I met someone online who is willing to convert. She may not meet a laundry list but she loves God very much. I think that is the most important quality a Catholic wife (or husband!) should have.

mike

I agree with this… There are people who are not able to have children for many reasons, and that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t express their love for each other sexually within marriage.

Plus, I find the list you made rather disturbing, why does she MUST be a U.S. Citizen? There are MANY good catholic girls of ANY nationality.