How to forgive fm members

[luvbp681]

I come from a family of 6 kids who live pretty close to each other; Recently my younger sister and I had “words”. Neither of us have spoken since, and as a Christian, I know I should forgive and forget the mean things she said to me, but can’t. We will see each other soon; How can I move past the hurtful things she has said?

 

[Tietjen]

I come from a family of 6 kids who live pretty close to each other; Recently my younger sister and I had “words”. Neither of us have spoken since, and as a Christian, I know I should forgive and forget the mean things she said to me, but can’t. We will see each other soon; How can I move past the hurtful things she has said?

There is a difference between forgiving and forgetting and we are called to forgive. However, forgetting is neither possible (in most cases) nor called for. So, forgive your sister and choose to show her love and be charitable toward her. Perhaps, when she sees you acting in a loving way toward her she will do the same and/or apologize for the situation that had transpired earlier. Regardless however, you should treat her as you wish she would treat you. Remember too that this doesn’t mean that you are to be a doormat which she can be allowed to step on. Should she maintain the callousness, despite your being loving toward her, you have every right to excuse yourself from the hostile environment.

 

[JRKH]

I come from a family of 6 kids who live pretty close to each other; Recently my younger sister and I had “words”. Neither of us have spoken since, and as a Christian, I know I should forgive and forget the mean things she said to me, but can’t. We will see each other soon; How can I move past the hurtful things she has said?

You cannot forget “the mean things she said”, for they are permanently recorded in your brain. There are many things (sins I committed) that I wish I could forget, but there they are, mocking me…

What you can do is forgive, in the name of Jesus. Pray for your sister and hope that she will see heaven at the end of her days.
I note in your post that you two, “had words” so it seems there was possibly hostility in both directions. In which case, youcan certainly apologize for your part in the problem. This might help her to see things differently as well…or not.

As I read you post a scene from a movie came to me. It was about St Francis Loyola. In the scene he was seeking passage from a ship owner to go to the Holy Land. The shipowner, not a God fearing Man, went to strike Francis with his hand. Francis (a former soldier) grabbed the mans hand in mid swing and gripped it so tightly that it was obvious that it hurt him. Francis then immediately apologized, as he said, “for being so weak that I could not resist showing you that I am stronger than you.”

This is the thing in forgiveness. That we be willing to be humble before God. Recognize that we are weak, especially in our ability to forgive many times. That by admitting our weakness and seeking forgiveness from others we can receive forgiveness from them. Of course this may not be immediate or in a timeframe suitable to us, but God has his own timeframe and doesn’t feel the need to consult with us on it…

Peace
James

 

[AngelRS]

Decide to forgive her and ask Jesus to help you do just that. You can’t forget what happened but can choose to not dwell on the hurt and the memory of what was said to you. Be loving to her (ask for God’s help when it’s particularly difficult) and hopefully in time she’ll respond better, too. Even if she doesn’t, your forgiveness of her will still be the Christian thing to do, as you said.

Family can hurt us like no one else, can - I know! Jesus has been helping me deal with very low blows - I’ve not forgotten what was done but what was potentially a family-splitting situation has been surmounted thanks to God’s grace and I pray you, too may find peace and reconciliation with your sister.