How to get help?

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tifischer

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We were in an abusive relation ship, where the dad physically abused us. After the divorce I had primary custody but my ex husband has taken us back to court again and again and now he has reduced my custody recently to less than 50/50 in an extreme injustice. My attorney was not prepared and made numerous mistakes. We were falsely accused of parental alienation but it is the dad and step-mom who is alienating…telling my children to call her their mom and me their “birth mom”. Telling the children lies about our faith that we worship Mary and added books to the Bible. Interfering with our phone conversations by hanging up during reading of Bible stories from the gospel or praying together. Not allowing my children to call me and preventing me from being able to call them. They have told the children numerous bad things about me like I am selfish, alienating, difficult, I teach them bad things, I feed them bad things. Interfering with our visitation during lunch period at school. Not telling me where the dad takes the children for activities with him. Not allowing the children to participate in activities even ballet Nutcracker performance. Telling my daughter discouraging things like she has a tummy and needs to run and she should not perform in the Nutcracker ballet because she did it last year and even lieing telling her that she already performed the same character which she had not. Neglecting to treat my son and daughter when the Dr orders medical treatment. My children say they are afraid to call me mom because them might get spanked. I see distress in my son’s eyes when I tell him that he can call me anytime and then he says “well you can call me” in a very happy tone. I believe their dad is coaching the children during phone conversations. My younger son clings to me hugging me for at length for almost the entire time I saw him last at meet the teacher.

I have tried very hard to be the peacemaker and non-alienating. I have tried to befriend his new wife by inviting her to lunch on more than one occasion. I have given the children money to buy Christmas gifts for their dad step-mom and step-children. I babysit the children for their dad and step-mom so they can go out on Valentines day and we even get a valentine gift for them. We have baked cookies, picked peaches, bought wild flower seeds, sent treats such as watermelon and donuts, sent Father’s day cards, invitations to birthday parties, sent six flag tickets, offered to share museum pass, and have done many other little acts of kindness to be non-alienating. Yet, we have been falsely accused of being alienating.

The attorney did not help us and the judge made a terrible judgment that is hurting my children. I don’t know what to do? How do we get the help we need? Please pray for us.

Blessing.
 
tifischer said:
We were in an abusive relation ship, where the dad physically abused us. After the divorce I had primary custody but my ex husband has taken us back to court again and again and now he has reduced my custody recently to less than 50/50 in an extreme injustice. My attorney was not prepared and made numerous mistakes. We were falsely accused of parental alienation but it is the dad and step-mom who is alienating…telling my children to call her their mom and me their “birth mom”. Telling the children lies about our faith that we worship Mary and added books to the Bible. Interfering with our phone conversations by hanging up during reading of Bible stories from the gospel or praying together. Not allowing my children to call me and preventing me from being able to call them. They have told the children numerous bad things about me like I am selfish, alienating, difficult, I teach them bad things, I feed them bad things. Interfering with our visitation during lunch period at school. Not telling me where the dad takes the children for activities with him. Not allowing the children to participate in activities even ballet Nutcracker performance. Telling my daughter discouraging things like she has a tummy and needs to run and she should not perform in the Nutcracker ballet because she did it last year and even lieing telling her that she already performed the same character which she had not. Neglecting to treat my son and daughter when the Dr orders medical treatment. My children say they are afraid to call me mom because them might get spanked. I see distress in my son’s eyes when I tell him that he can call me anytime and then he says “well you can call me” in a very happy tone. I believe their dad is coaching the children during phone conversations. My younger son clings to me hugging me for at length for almost the entire time I saw him last at meet the teacher.

I have tried very hard to be the peacemaker and non-alienating. I have tried to befriend his new wife by inviting her to lunch on more than one occasion. I have given the children money to buy Christmas gifts for their dad step-mom and step-children. I babysit the children for their dad and step-mom so they can go out on Valentines day and we even get a valentine gift for them. We have baked cookies, picked peaches, bought wild flower seeds, sent treats such as watermelon and donuts, sent Father’s day cards, invitations to birthday parties, sent six flag tickets, offered to share museum pass, and have done many other little acts of kindness to be non-alienating. Yet, we have been falsely accused of being alienating.

The attorney did not help us and the judge made a terrible judgment that is hurting my children. I don’t know what to do? How do we get the help we need? Please pray for us.

Blessing.
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I am so very sorry! first, for the children who suffer the most, life long wounds for them to heal from. and for you, to another mother whose story reads very near to my own many years ago.
From the secular part of this, abusive husbands do often follow this pattern. I mean there are stories from many woman and children who suffer this injustice. there often is no justice in man’s world.
And it reminds me of when Peter responds to Jesus’ question (" Are you going to leave me too?..) .Jn 6:68 " Lord. to whom would we go? "
So many years later, children grown, my return to the church, I now know, I have never been able to fight a battle on my own. It is futile, useless. It is only through surrendering to God and giving all of this to Him and trusting and having faith that He will protect you
and will fight for you, in His way. And pray for His direction , his will , on what to do each day.
Draw nearer to Jesus, for you are not alone in this battle. Cry to Mary to spread her mantle over and protect your children. Plea to St Michael often.
Pray the Psalms…David’s love of God and his cries to the Lord in all his persecution are our own.
I will surely keep you and your children in my prayers dear one.
Blessing , in Jesus and Mary…LoveMercyGrace
 
Praying for you. I am no expert but,is it possible to get a new trial with a new judge and
attorney? God bless you.
 
The_Old_Maid said:
It is depressing that there is an excellent entire book about this: Divorce Poison by Dr. Richard Warshak.

Prayers and good wishes for you. This is going to be a labor for the long haul.
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Thank you for your prayers. I have ordered this book and I am reading The Power of a Praying Parent.
 
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