L
lovedance4ever
Guest
I think it’s pretty safe to say that many of you already know my story. The house I live in is a double. In the lower level, I live with my parents and a close friend of the family; our friend does not really have much money, and she has some physical disabilities, so we took her in about 16 years ago when I was only 4. She has been a wonderful companion for me, and we are super close - however, we only have a two bedroom home, so she has to sleep on a bed in our dining room.
Upstairs is my aunt’s apartment. And it wouldn’t be much of a problem if she didn’t spend most of her time in OUR place. She has an explosive temper, and we never know what will set her off. I hate lying, but over the past five years, I have made up stories about my life to keep her at bay - she never keeps her opinions to herself, always tells my parents how to raise me (even though I am now legally an adult), and is constantly criticizing me for whatever I do. One time, she got so angry at me for something and was screaming so badly at me, that I had to lock myself in the bathroom while she pounded on the door demanding I come out. I was 15 at the time.
We never get a moment’s peace, because if we try to watch a movie, she will come down and talk through it. She hardly ever makes her own meals, as she is always eating with us. If I need to confide something in my parents, I have to do it fast before she comes down and sticks her nose in it. My parents almost never tell her to mind her business. They just let it happen. I know it bothers my father, and he gets very angry with her, but because she is my mother’s sister, he feels like he is walking on egg shells.
My mom has been through a lot in her life; she went through cancer two years ago, and the treatment took a toll on her both mentally and physically. I feel so badly for her, and I continually pray for her wellbeing. But at the same time, I feel I have lost my old mother, and it’s so hard. She cannot handle ANY kind of stress, otherwise she will break down crying and screaming. So I have to be the voice of reason in the house. Anytime there is an argument between my parents, they always get me in the middle of it by taking their anger out on me. I then have to calm things down somehow. I rarely raise my voice. I hate yelling at my parents, and the only time I really yell, is to shout over their voices when they are screaming at me for something. But most of the time, I just take it and remain quiet.
My dad is not well either, as he has had his fair share of physical problems. When he is well, things are somewhat okay. But when he is ill, it all falls on me. I cannot begin to tell you how painful it is. When he drinks, sometimes he will fall down and end up unconscious; I am the one who has to pick him up (LITERALLY), put him back on the bed, and make sure he is still breathing. I get scolded for refusing to take him to the store to buy liquor, but I do not want to encourage his habit. My mom just generally sits in her recliner, knitting, facebooking, or playing games on the computer. She does virtually nothing anymore.
When I have problems, I keep it all to myself. Because if I tell her about it, she will lose it mentally. I have to be the strong one in the house, and I am not sure how much more I can take. Yesterday, she yelled at me for something my dad did, and I seriously felt like I was about to have a nervous breakdown. In fact, I have felt as though I was going to have a nervous breakdown all week. I have no friends; I lost the only one I had recently, because I didn’t go along with her sex talk with guys. There is no one for me to talk to. Well, sometimes my dad when he is well. When he is in a good mood and is not drinking, we are the best of friends. But then when he does, it all goes down hill…
My mom and dad are good people; I know they love me, and they have cared for me over the years. But lately it has been horrible. I know what hell is like.
The bright side is that school begins this Tuesday. It is my only escape. Then again, coming home to such angst and trying to do homework is so hard. I don’t even have a freaking hinge or whatever it is, on my bedroom door. So there is no way to close it for privacy.
I have also been super sick with intestinal issues that the doctor has been unable to diagnose so far. Stress seems to worsen the symptoms, but I have been experiencing fever, burning in my stomach, nausea…and the other day, I coughed up blood. It’s been absolutely horrible for the past 6 months now.
My plan is to now work towards getting my own place. I truly do not want to live in the dorms, but I will as a last resort. At the moment, I do not have a job, but I am beginning to look for one so I can save up for an apartment.
Does anyone have any advice for a 20 year old girl who is moving out of her parents’ home for the first time? Also, any advice for how to deal with this while I am living at home? Most things do not scare me. But this kind of does. Please pray for my parents. And please pray for me.
Going to Mass and praying the Rosary are my only comfort. Sometimes I wish that life were a never-ending circle of the Rosary, because when I am praying, I am at peace. But then when I stop, it all hits me so hard.
Thank you. God bless.
Upstairs is my aunt’s apartment. And it wouldn’t be much of a problem if she didn’t spend most of her time in OUR place. She has an explosive temper, and we never know what will set her off. I hate lying, but over the past five years, I have made up stories about my life to keep her at bay - she never keeps her opinions to herself, always tells my parents how to raise me (even though I am now legally an adult), and is constantly criticizing me for whatever I do. One time, she got so angry at me for something and was screaming so badly at me, that I had to lock myself in the bathroom while she pounded on the door demanding I come out. I was 15 at the time.
We never get a moment’s peace, because if we try to watch a movie, she will come down and talk through it. She hardly ever makes her own meals, as she is always eating with us. If I need to confide something in my parents, I have to do it fast before she comes down and sticks her nose in it. My parents almost never tell her to mind her business. They just let it happen. I know it bothers my father, and he gets very angry with her, but because she is my mother’s sister, he feels like he is walking on egg shells.
My mom has been through a lot in her life; she went through cancer two years ago, and the treatment took a toll on her both mentally and physically. I feel so badly for her, and I continually pray for her wellbeing. But at the same time, I feel I have lost my old mother, and it’s so hard. She cannot handle ANY kind of stress, otherwise she will break down crying and screaming. So I have to be the voice of reason in the house. Anytime there is an argument between my parents, they always get me in the middle of it by taking their anger out on me. I then have to calm things down somehow. I rarely raise my voice. I hate yelling at my parents, and the only time I really yell, is to shout over their voices when they are screaming at me for something. But most of the time, I just take it and remain quiet.
My dad is not well either, as he has had his fair share of physical problems. When he is well, things are somewhat okay. But when he is ill, it all falls on me. I cannot begin to tell you how painful it is. When he drinks, sometimes he will fall down and end up unconscious; I am the one who has to pick him up (LITERALLY), put him back on the bed, and make sure he is still breathing. I get scolded for refusing to take him to the store to buy liquor, but I do not want to encourage his habit. My mom just generally sits in her recliner, knitting, facebooking, or playing games on the computer. She does virtually nothing anymore.
When I have problems, I keep it all to myself. Because if I tell her about it, she will lose it mentally. I have to be the strong one in the house, and I am not sure how much more I can take. Yesterday, she yelled at me for something my dad did, and I seriously felt like I was about to have a nervous breakdown. In fact, I have felt as though I was going to have a nervous breakdown all week. I have no friends; I lost the only one I had recently, because I didn’t go along with her sex talk with guys. There is no one for me to talk to. Well, sometimes my dad when he is well. When he is in a good mood and is not drinking, we are the best of friends. But then when he does, it all goes down hill…
My mom and dad are good people; I know they love me, and they have cared for me over the years. But lately it has been horrible. I know what hell is like.
The bright side is that school begins this Tuesday. It is my only escape. Then again, coming home to such angst and trying to do homework is so hard. I don’t even have a freaking hinge or whatever it is, on my bedroom door. So there is no way to close it for privacy.
I have also been super sick with intestinal issues that the doctor has been unable to diagnose so far. Stress seems to worsen the symptoms, but I have been experiencing fever, burning in my stomach, nausea…and the other day, I coughed up blood. It’s been absolutely horrible for the past 6 months now.
My plan is to now work towards getting my own place. I truly do not want to live in the dorms, but I will as a last resort. At the moment, I do not have a job, but I am beginning to look for one so I can save up for an apartment.
Does anyone have any advice for a 20 year old girl who is moving out of her parents’ home for the first time? Also, any advice for how to deal with this while I am living at home? Most things do not scare me. But this kind of does. Please pray for my parents. And please pray for me.
Going to Mass and praying the Rosary are my only comfort. Sometimes I wish that life were a never-ending circle of the Rosary, because when I am praying, I am at peace. But then when I stop, it all hits me so hard.
Thank you. God bless.
