How to Godparent?

[Glassjester]

I am the godfather of my brother’s daughter.
She is still a baby.

My brother and his wife do not attend mass.
My brother agreed to have his daughter baptised only because his wife wanted to do that.
He seems, at best, apathetic toward any and all religious ideas. At worst, staunchly atheist, and anti-religion (especially anti-Catholic).

At this point, they do not seem to show any intention of fulfilling the promises made when their daughter was baptised in the Church. Of course, I hope I am wrong.

I’m saddened by this. And at times I am worried that they only chose me as a godparent because they needed a confirmed Church member as a sponsor, in order to have their daughter baptised at all.

How can I keep the promises I made when I became her godfather?

 

[otjm]

Welcome to reality. You are in a tough position, but most tough ones ar not hopeless, even though they may seem so.

You may get all sorts of answers from other posters; you need to think through any responses as to the relationship you have with your brother, and with his wife. From what you said, it sounds as if your sister-in-law is more open to future catechesis, although how much is not clear.

First pray - daily is not a bad idea.

Next, without getting into discussions that are going to estrange you and your brother, ask her what she would like to see.

Keep in mind that telling them, especially your brother, what they “need to do” is more likely to cause them - or at least him - to dig his heels in further.

Positive comments about faith tend to go further than negative ones do.

And it wouldn’t hurt to speak to your pastor to see what guidance he may give.

 

[twf]

I would say all you can do is lead by example. You can’t overstep your bounds- you are not the parent. Make sure you live a good Catholic faith, encourage your niece, when she’s older, if she shows any interest in the Church. Answer her questions… Or even bring up Catholic topics (but graciously stop if her parents ask you to). Offer to take her to catechism and mass when she’s older- but don’t insist if her parents resist. At a minimum, pray for her.

I was baptismal sponsor to a young woman whom I helped find her way to the Church. Sometime later she started making inappropriate advances after I had started dating my now wife. I had to cut all ties with her. For a time I wrestled with this as I had promised before God to support her faith journey… But in this all my obligations, save praying for her (which I still do years later), became morally impossible. The church doesn’t ask the impossible.

 

[Memaw]

I am the godfather of my brother’s daughter.
She is still a baby.

My brother and his wife do not attend mass.
My brother agreed to have his daughter baptised only because his wife wanted to do that.
He seems, at best, apathetic toward any and all religious ideas. At worst, staunchly atheist, and anti-religion (especially anti-Catholic).

At this point, they do not seem to show any intention of fulfilling the promises made when their daughter was baptised in the Church. Of course, I hope I am wrong.

I’m saddened by this. And at times I am worried that they only chose me as a godparent because they needed a confirmed Church member as a sponsor, in order to have their daughter baptised at all.

How can I keep the promises I made when I became her godfather?

I know just how you feel. I am Godmother to so many of my family and most do not attend Mass. Some made that decision after they grew up, others not raised in the faith. I have prayed for all of them for so many years and will continue to do so. Talking to the parents never seemed to work, and them even less now that some are adults. But I do try at opportune times. But pray, pray, pray. I never knew my Godparents as they “filled in” because my intended godparents didn’t get there. I learned many years later that my godparents both always prayed for me. I am soo thankful. God Bless, Memaw

 

[Angel_Bradford]

I am the godfather of my brother’s daughter.
She is still a baby.

My brother and his wife do not attend mass.
My brother agreed to have his daughter baptised only because his wife wanted to do that.
He seems, at best, apathetic toward any and all religious ideas. At worst, staunchly atheist, and anti-religion (especially anti-Catholic).

At this point, they do not seem to show any intention of fulfilling the promises made when their daughter was baptised in the Church. Of course, I hope I am wrong.

I’m saddened by this. And at times I am worried that they only chose me as a godparent because they needed a confirmed Church member as a sponsor, in order to have their daughter baptised at all.

How can I keep the promises I made when I became her godfather?

I am in the same position with my great-niece who is now 5. In addition to daily prayers, I asked her mother to let her spend weekends with me and I would take her to Mass. This lasted about 2 weeks until her parents separated and her father gets her most every other weekend. I have paid for vacation bible school and CCD.

Last Saturday, I called after lunch and just asked if I could pick her up for Mass. I’ll keep doing that.

 

[Louman127]

I would some how, when I was around my brother try and gear conversation in direction towards the faith. With something neutral almost like the conversation accidentally fell that way. Maybe there is something you can subtlety say that would trigger a response from him and make him say anything at all in reference to the faith. Then when the conversation gets around to the faith take the moment by force and ask something like “So yea by the way you guys did make me your daughters Godfather. So are you gonna let me do my job (with a little chuckle )? I mean I know you guys aren’t into the faith that much but you guys did make me her Godfather so if you really want me being her godfather I’d be more than willing to come over every week to teach her.”

Then be ready to defend the faith and debate, and be patient and ready to refute any argument they pose. The goal is to win them all. Your brother, his wife, and the baby. In order for the salvation of their souls but also so the parents do not pose an obstacle between your guidance and the child. If they pose an obstacle they might (unbeknownst to them) become angry and then pride of who’s right will get involved and may drive them further away from the faith and thereby driving the daughter away.

If you can convert them back or at least plant a seed then, when the time comes for her to need guidance in the faith her parents may become softened and allow you to do your job.

But actually if you converted the parents back, then they would raise her correctly as a Catholic therefore fulfilling your Godparent duties. So if you can convert the parents back they would raise the child Catholic and you would be starting your duties as a Godfather to her and also taking the parents under your wing. So the goal of the child to be raised Catholic is met plus her two parents.

 

[Memaw]

How about giving the parents a gift subscription to Catholic Answers Magazine !! God Bless, Memaw