When we have been hurt or angered in any way, forgiveness is rarely an instantaneous event that occurs. Rather most often it is a journey and you have begun that journey by posting here honestly. It is probably impossible to like every person we meet but we are called to love them. To wish them well and to pray for them which is an act of the will or the mind which includes to desire to find forgiveness in the heart and to overcome all negative feelings towards them.
Forgiveness and overcoming negative feelings is a journey that takes place in time and it begins with a desire to forgive and overcome negative passions and then to undertake the struggle to do so. Very often the struggle to overcome our selfhood and its passions introduces us to one of the most beautiful of virtues that underrides all virtue: humility. Humility in part asks that we be honest about ourselves. We do not need of necessity to make our difficulties and struggles an open book for all and sundry unless for some good reason we choose to do so. But humility, which is based in truth, asks that at least in our own hearts and thoughts we know who we are exactly and our failings - and also our virtue, God’s Gift to us without any deservings on our part.
Hence even in the daily struggle of falling and struggling to get up again there is something very positive that God is directing us towards and that is humility.
If we find hatred in our heart, the worst of it all can be not to care and to indulge in it. To find hatred in our heart and to struggle against it and to desire to overcome it is the road to virtue and certainly to Heaven. The Church is not a museum for saints, but a hospital for sinners. We are all sinners without exception, we differ probably only in the kind and degree of our sinfulness. Not only this, but Jesus said that He has come for sinners, not the righteous - hence when I indeed identify in myself that I am a sinner, I can be assured that Jesus is here for me.
Doanli, do you mention the things you have mentioned here in this thread to Father in Confession? If not, then strive to do so and listen carefully to what Father may say to you for Confession is one of the greatest sources of strength, even enlightenment and encouragement in our struggles.
Years prior, I did the First Saturdays that our Lady wanted to be done (per Her appearance at Fatima).
That, and my confidence in Her, saved me.
Now, I feel a fire of love for Jesus, but I want to feel it so much for our Mother as well. I’m praying for that and working on my Hail Marys. Maybe that will help me get through this bump in the road, having bad thoughts about people I don’t like.
But we don’t have to like them, do we? Just be kind, polite, and gracious? (Treat them as the Lord would?)
I read somewhere or other that devotion to Our Lady is a sure sign of virtue. We all probably short of a miracle of Grace have involuntary bad thoughts occur about people we don’t like. This is rather human, but where virtue enters in is that we do not indulge and dwell on these thoughts and strive to overcome them prayerfully.
But we don’t have to like them, do we? Just be kind, polite, and gracious? (Treat them as the Lord would?)
You have hit the nail on the head! We strive to treat them as you mention and we pray that we will overcome all bad feelings about them and engage in the struggle to do so. One positive way of doing so, is when I have bad thoughts about someone I dislike, then I strive to find in them something that is good - and if I look carefully, I will find it.
God bless - TS
