How to Halloween?

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JLCecilia

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So I wouldn’t say that I ‘hate’ Halloween, but I could really care less about it. Although I wil say that I detest some of the more grotesque costumes and decor I see that tend toward paganism. I’m one of those where I turn off my lights and pretend I’m not home, or we actually get up and get away from the house - normally to my in-laws just to hang out and eat junk food.

So now that my son is old enough to walk, my husband wants to dress him up. I told him that what our son could be for Halloween was a little boy in jeans and jack-o-lantern t-shirt. But he twisted my arm and we bought little one a scarecrow costume. I think it looks dumb, but whatever.

I reminded him that when our little one goes to Catholic school, that they don’t dress up for Halloween - they dress as saints and celebrate All Saints Day. In fact, the weekend following the holiday, everyone in the parish is welcomed over to the gym to see all the kids dressed up and giving informative presentations on their saint.

I think my biggest thing is that the holiday really just doesn’t have any valid meaning. Where do you strike a balance? The only thing I can think of for now is just to now allow the kids to dress is something totally grotesque, as long as it’s something fairly innocent like a scarecrow. I just don’t know. My husband is a convert and his faith is weak at best and he thinks I’m a fanatic and his family doesn’t understand my values either - none of them really even go to church or practice any real faith outside of that one hour on Sunday anyway.

Any thoughts? What do some of you do?
 
JLCecilia said:
So I wouldn’t say that I ‘hate’ Halloween, but I could really care less about it. Although I will say that I detest some of the more grotesque costumes and decor I see that tend toward paganism.

I think my biggest thing is that the holiday really just doesn’t have any valid meaning. Where do you strike a balance? The only thing I can think of for now is just to now allow the kids to dress is something totally grotesque, as long as it’s something fairly innocent like a scarecrow.

Any thoughts? What do some of you do?
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There are some folks who are so conscious of the pagan roots (Samhain?) of Halloween that they won’t have anything to do with Halloween in any way, shape or form. However, my mother explained to me that the dressing up part of All Hallows’ Eve came from morality plays in the middle ages, performed to educate an illiterate populace. (All the Bibles in the world would be lost on those who can’t afford one or can’t read one, so we Catholics had stained glass windows, stations of the cross, rosary meditations, morality plays, etc. as teaching tools.) Lords, ladies, knights, butchers, farmers, milkmaids, beggars, etc. are all on their way to the grave someday, so live your live with Final Judgment in mind, the prospect of either Heaven or Hell.

I do not allow my children to dress as butchered/mutilated people (ugh!) or evil things like devils or witches, but I might allow a skeleton or grim reaper (not that they’ve asked) because death in and of itself is not evil, just a fact of life. St. Francis of “Brother Sun, Sister Moon” fame even called it “Sister Death.” I love the churches inviting kids to come to Mass dressed as Saints. Great! Then they have those nun habits and priestly garb to play dress-up in the rest of the year. (Never too early to plant seeds of vocations…)

My mother also explained that the “treats” part of Halloween came from “a-souling,” during which poor people would go from house to house offering to say a prayer for the repose of the souls of dead relatives in exchange for money or a food item. She even played Peter, Paul, and Mary’s “A-soulin’” song with the lyrics,

“Soul, soul, soul cake,
Please, good missus, a soul cake,
An apple, a pear, a plum, a cherry,
Any good thing to make us all merry,
One for Peter, two for Paul,
Three for Him who made us all…
If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’penny will do,
If you haven’t got a ha’penny then God bless you.”

Supposedly somebody invented the donut, a cake in the shape of a circle, a sign of the eternity/immortality of the soul, to remind the poor people not to forget to pray for the dead as they had promised, but I can’t vouch for that. (I’ve also heard that a sea captain invented the donut when he stuck a pancake on the pointy spokes of his ship’s steering wheel, so who knows? I like the first story better. 😉 )

So you could let kids have fun with Halloween treats and costumes, within limits, as a middle position between “have nothing to do with Halloween” and “anything goes” for Halloween. But that’s up to your prudential judgment as a parent.
 
Maybe you could find some articles about tainted treats given to kids or something and tell DH that’s why you don’t want your son to do it. It would be true, although not your only reason 🤷 Another big danger for little children on Halloween is being struck by cars. I think about 4-5 are killed that way every Halloween.

If your DH really, really wants his son to do this, maybe you can do a little party with a play group of kids his age or something. We are blessed to live near a Catholic community that has an awesome all-day-long All Saints Day celebration the Saturday before or after All Saints Day. It starts right after lunch and is filled with all kinds of wonderful activities for all members of the family (Rosary walk, parade of Saints, tug of war, talent show, relay races, etc.) and concludes with dinner and a bonfire/hay ride after dark. If this is something you’re feeling strongly about, you could show your DH that there are fun alternatives to the worldly celebration of Halloween. Maybe you can let your son do the worldly Halloween this year and agree that he will do the All Saints version next year. 🙂
 
We celebrate All Saints’ Day by going to Mass, and during this whole season, we talk a lot about the saints and about our departed loved ones (All Souls’ Day). We decorate with harvest and autumn oriented things, as this is my favorite season. Pumpkins, apples, colored leaves, hot cider, corn mazes, etc. The kids get a kick out of mildly scary stuff, but not gross, gorey, satanic, or violent. Trick or treating is all about free candy and visiting with friends and neighbors, and their costumes are very simple and not spooky at all. I don’t love Halloween, but I love autumn. I am thankful to God for the season and for the harvest (particularly considering our drought situation), and I am also thankful to Him for the example of the saints and for my loved ones who have passed on.
 
RitaM said:
We celebrate All Saints’ Day by going to Mass, and during this whole season, we talk a lot about the saints and about our departed loved ones (All Souls’ Day). We decorate with harvest and autumn oriented things, as this is my favorite season. Pumpkins, apples, colored leaves, hot cider, corn mazes, etc. The kids get a kick out of mildly scary stuff, but not gross, gorey, satanic, or violent. Trick or treating is all about free candy and visiting with friends and neighbors, and their costumes are very simple and not spooky at all. I don’t love Halloween, but I love autumn. I am thankful to God for the season and for the harvest (particularly considering our drought situation), and I am also thankful to Him for the example of the saints and for my loved ones who have passed on.
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I find that simply hearfelt and beautiful! Autumn is my favorite season! But you knew that from my current signature.😉

Not all Catholic schools dress as saints. There are limits on such things as gore and violence. I taught in a Catholic school until this year. Last year, I was one of the 3 blind mice, complete with Ray Charles sun glasses and a cane. Two of my colleagues were catsup and mustard. I also saw a very clever costume of a shower, a microwave, a robot, and a auto technician.

Supervised trick or treating is not a bad thing. A costume is not a bad thing (My two are going as a cat and mouse, and they are 8 and 6). Checking the candy, putting it into a gallon ziploc bag, and distributing it at a rate of a piece or two a day is not a bad thing, until it’s gone or grows mold. Parents are allowed to pick out Snickers and Reeses for themselves, as a surcharge for supervising the whole matter.😃

Catholics invented Halloween, or All Hallows Eve. We own it. Other people turned it into what it is today. We don’t have to kill the fun to take it back. Even Dr. Ray’s kids go out trick or treating.

I think a scarecrow is a lovely costume. Your baby is 15 months old. It seems to me a good compromise to let your husband take him out to a few nearby houses, on foot or in stroller. Trust me, your husband will not want to be out long. Take loads of photos!
 
OutinChgoburbs said:
Not all Catholic schools dress as saints. There are limits on such things as gore and violence. .
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Wow, I never knew some catholic schools only let the kids dress up as saints. The catholic school I went to let everyone dress the way they wanted. Devils, witches, murder victims with knives made out of foil, zombies, you name it. Then they would do a parade outside for the parents.
 
When I was little, I went out as a devil multiple years in a row… and now look at me 😦 … 😉 In retrospect, I think my dad (cradle catholic) was compromising with my mom (adamant athiest). But now for my children… well… I don’t think we ought to “kill the fun” of our holiday that has been secularized (and even demonized)… but that doesn’t mean I don’t think we ought to work towards taking it back. So we will be participating as examples of our great faith. I told my son & daughter that I suspect the blood and stuff of today’s costumes evolved from Catholics celebrating the great saints’ heroic deaths. So, this year I’ll be escorting my kids around the neighborhood to collect candy for me, dressed as the great St. Cecilia (with neck wound and harp and palm in hand) and St. Micheal (we found a St. George costume and added angel wings (still working on doing a sword of fire)).
  • Kory
 
Kory, that is so cool. All gore for glory!!! 😃

Some Catholic schools don’t dress up at all for Halloween. The one my girls currently attend has a dress down day with a $1 donation to the school art fund. The cat and mouse costume, however, will be paraded in the neighborhood, and at a private Halloween party.

Dr. Ray always jokes at this time of year he has one of his kids dress up as a crayon for Halloween.
 
In my diocese we have each year Holywin - a catholic version of Halloween.
The night of Halloween (or Holywin) we come to one of the churches in our diocese, have a Mass and then a presentation of a couple of saints. Usually the organizers choose to present some funny saints and tell us funny things about saints’ lives.
After that we have a little party.
It’s a very nice evening.

I think if you pick a nice costume, even Halloween can be okay.
 
I hate the way Halloween has turned into this big gore-fest with the macabre costumes and decorations. I think the “Halloween” movies did a lot to make it that way. The day should just be fun for kids. I love to see the trick-or-treaters coming to my door. The little ones are so cute in their costumes. Unfortunately, we live in a area which is not visited much by the trick-or-treaters. (So I buy the candy which I like because we’re going to have a lot left over.)
 
Because we lived overseas so many of my growing up years, I never trick-or-treated much and I don’t think I missed anything. My kids though have gone out every year in costumes like the OP’s scarecrow boy. I do think though that some Saint’s costumes could be spectacular for an older child who would appreciate it–St Lucy and her eyeballs immediately comes to mind.

This year I think we are going to just stay home and eat our own candy. We were hoping dd would get her braces off in time for some caramel apples, but not to be.

To the OP, why don’t you start your own tradition that you can live with. A Saint party with your ds and his buddies maybe with trick or treating to just the houses on your block. Enough that your dh gets to have some fun, but with a Catholic direction so you can educate both him and your children in the history of the holiday.
 
Thanks for all the great ideas. My son’s godmother just happens to be the principle of the Catholic school he may attend when he gets older (the same one I went to as a child). So I may bring up to her a ‘trunk or treat’ suggestion - I know several churches in town do this and it’d be a great alternative to roaming around door to door in what’s become some pretty crummy weather over the past few years.
Thanks and God Bless,
JLC
 
I was born and raised Catholic and went out trick or treating every Halloween (All Hallows Eve). I don’t recall us ever dressing as the devil or anything. Mom and Dad weren’t going to spend money on costumes anyway.
Seems we usually we went out as hobo’s or pirates or cowboys or soldiers. Stuff like that. We could use old clothes and basic makeup items. I sure don’t see a problem with a scarecrow. I also don’t see a problem with dressing as a saint.

I agree that many folks seem to get much more carried away with the gore than they use to, but I think that just has to do with society and what they see on TV and in Movies.

Honestly I think that Halloween is as harmful or harmless as we want to make it for our kids. I mean we went out trick or treating on Halloween, then got up next morning and went to early mass. It just was never a big deal. Halloween comes once a year. Church is every week, and faith is every day.

One thing I have considered doing is getting ahold of some inexpensive prayer cards. Nothing fancy mind you, and including them in with a bit of candy. If little devils can come to my door, then little saints or saviours can leave in their bags.

Overall I would suggest you breathe easy;
make over how cute your little guy is in his costume,
control his candy intake for the next week or so,
say prayers with him everynight before bed,
and get him to church every week.

May God Bless You

James
 
Thanks for the awesome idea JKRH! I love the idea of holy cards/ medals. I’ll try this maybe next year when I have more time to prepare. Awesome idea!!! Sometimes I get so blinded by my own feelings about these situations that my head’s too fuzzy to come up w/ a viable solution. It’s nice to have another set of eyes on the situation. Thanks and God Bless.
 
JLCecilia said:
Thanks for the awesome idea JKRH! I love the idea of holy cards/ medals. I’ll try this maybe next year when I have more time to prepare. Awesome idea!!! Sometimes I get so blinded by my own feelings about these situations that my head’s too fuzzy to come up w/ a viable solution. It’s nice to have another set of eyes on the situation. Thanks and God Bless.
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Glad I could help.👍
Have a Happy and Blessed Holiday

James
 
We just keep it really simple… and make it “fun”… just for the childish sake of “fun”.
No real “meaning” in the holiday itself.

To us… halloween is about getting dressed up in silly costumes and getting a little candy. 🤷
NOTHING gross or gory or scary… just fun.

My boys will get dressed up in their costumes… maybe visit a couple of our close neighbors… then travel over to my parents house and visit a couple of their close neighbors (who just enjoy seeing my kids!)… and then on to my MIL’s house to see her neighbors. It’s more about just having a simple little “candy party” and playing dress up. Nothing “meaningful”…

The church does have a “Saints Parade” for the Sunday School classes… and that’s always fun too!
 
There is a very interesting article in the Washington Post on this.
This year’s Halloween decorations may not just spook you, they might turn your stomach.
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Next to the standard witches, ghosts and black cats, many specialty stores and catalogues are selling creepily realistic corpses, severed limbs and butchered body parts. One catalogue advertises an animated ghoul who can vomit into a barrel on cue (special order only, $2,750). An online company sells a Tortured Torso Prop (for $149) you can lean near your front door to welcome trick-or-treaters.
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