How to handle homeless people

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AFerri48

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There is this one homeless dude that sometimes hangs around my neighborhood. I saw him for the first time earlier this year and I gave him a dollar as I walked by, in response he asked if I had a cigarette on me… I said no and walked by. I saw him again today and this time he specifically asked me for a dollar, and so once again I gave him a dollar. However, after giving him a dollar this time, he quickly asked if I had two dollars. I didn’t give a second dollar and continued walking.

I don’t feel like I did anything wrong, but what’s a good way to handle this guy from now on?
 
For me this is difficult to answer that there is always one way to deal with the homeless or panhandlers. I’ve given money most of the time but after reading some compelling posts from other threads on this topic my wife and I began carrying energy bars in the glove box of the car. I have handed out 4 of these. the first 2 were accepted graciously. The 3rd was tossed in the tall grass as soon as we drove away(my wife turned to watch the man). The 4th was also accepted with gratitude. personally I’m done handing out money to those on the street and will save it for different situations. I would simply encourage you to meditated on the matter and follow your heart. Take care.
 
AFerri48 said:
There is this one homeless dude that sometimes hangs around my neighborhood. I saw him for the first time earlier this year and I gave him a dollar as I walked by, in response he asked if I had a cigarette on me… I said no and walked by. I saw him again today and this time he specifically asked me for a dollar, and so once again I gave him a dollar. However, after giving him a dollar this time, he quickly asked if I had two dollars. I didn’t give a second dollar and continued walking.

I don’t feel like I did anything wrong, but what’s a good way to handle this guy from now on?
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I think you might want to ask a priest when and if you are ever obliged to give like that.
 
I never give money to strangers on the street. You could start carrying and handing out some inexpensive gift cards for near by fast food places or information for the local shelter where they can get some real help. Our St. Vincent de Paul center has a van and is willing to pick people up, if they call.
 
Oour parish is having some problems with this issue, there seems to be a lot of homeless people or people with no money coming to the church, asking for money, our senior priest begun handing out money to all that asked, for awhile, they would just come to the rectory next to the church, but the past few months, some will even wait in the back of the church, waiting for the priest to get done with mass.

There are many people in the parish that do not agree with doing this, they dont like where their money may be going, but the priest addresses this from time to time, he tells us, its his prerogative to give when asked without questions, its up to them to use it on what they need.

Granted, he is not giving them that much cash, the times Ive seen it, he gave each person $20.-$40.

I did get a little suspicious though once, I was at a store in a nearby city and a younger couple came in, they had no money for gas, and they were asking where the nearest church was, I think some people have learned to take advantage of this money.
 
I don’t feel like I did anything wrong, but what’s a good way to handle this guy from now on?
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I’m not sure the answer to your question. In our local city, there are many homeless that sit at street corners begging for money. I am even now seeing this in the northern suburbs during rush hour.

I have given money, but then I fear for my personal safety, as well as question if the funds would be used for drugs or liquor. Then I also feel guilty if I just ignore their pleas for help.

The best answer I have found thus far is to continue to give personal donations and funds directly to reputable homeless shelters and soup kitchens in the area. If you do feel obligated to provide for the homeless in person, I would advocate against giving money and would advocate for gift cards to a local restaurant or giving food directly. Again, however, I would also be careful in terms of personal safety. I am always afraid that the individual will pull a knife or a gun.
 
I pretty much figure that if a person is down enough that they are willing to go panhandling, then they probably do need the money. They may not end up spending it the way I would, but I don’t really feel bad giving it to them, if I have it. I’ve also bought grocery store and fast food cards before, when I lived in Kansas City. I used to pass by as many as ten begging people on my way home from work each night. They have a really problem with poverty and homelessness.
 
AFerri48 said:
I don’t feel like I did anything wrong, but what’s a good way to handle this guy from now on?
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I’ve only done it one time and for me it’s always spontaneous. If I see a homeless man and have some cash or something, I believe I would try and give what I could and it would always be cash for me, as I don’t really have anything else at the time to give and you never know what situation you will be confronted with, so it’s easier for it to be simply cash.

If I ran into a homeless man, gave him some money, then the next day I saw him again and he asked for more money, it would depend whether I could spare it, and if I couldn’t id just say “Sorry, I don’t have any more on me today.” and then perhaps give them some money next week or something, when I could spare it.

When it comes to giving money, I think it’s their perogative whatever they wish to do with it. And I think sometimes we should be careful when giving in ways that say “I don’t trust you.” or other derogatory insinuations, as I believe that can be worse than if they received nothing at all. But at the same time I wouldn’t be throwing bucket loads of money toward someone if they were clearly misusing it all the time, id try and find another way to help them, like a soup kitchen or something.

I think you could easily fall into a trap if you make it a regular thing, I believe it has to be spontaneous and out of love, thinking what we would want if we were in their shoes, sometimes I try to keep a little cash in my pocket, enough for someone to get a good meal, just in case something like this comes up and I notice a homeless man.

Anyway, these are just some of my thoughts on the subject.
St Faustina's Diary 1282:
liturgicalyear.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/divine-mercy-in-my-soul.pdf
  • When the same poor people come to the gate a second time, I treat them with greater gentleness, and I do not let them (35) see that I know they have been here before; * in order not to embarrass them. And then they speak to me freely about their troubles and needs.
Although Sister N. tells me that is not the way to deal with beggars, and slams the door in their faces, when she is not there, I treat them as my Master would. Sometimes more is given when giving nothing, than when giving much in a rude manner.*
Extract from the book 'The Visible face of the Invisible God':
loveandmercy.org/Eng-VF-Reg.pdf
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(Roman Catholic Imprimatur)
  1. He who truly loves will always consider himself in debt, and the last thing in his mind will be that his love be rewarded. This is why Jesus taught us to give alms, trying that our left hand not know what our right hand does because receiving alms is almost always a humiliation, only alleviated by the love with which it is given. That is to say, that the only kind of alms that does not hurt, comes from the one whom fully identifies with the person in need, and shares with him from the much or the little that he has. In this way there is no room for vanity in the one who gives, or humiliation in the one who receives.
St Faustina's Diary 1312:
liturgicalyear.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/divine-mercy-in-my-soul.pdf
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  • Jesus came to the main entrance today, under the guise of a poor young man. This young man, emaciated, barefoot and bareheaded, and with his clothes in tatters, was frozen because the day was cold and rainy. He asked for something hot to eat. So I went to the kitchen, but found nothing there for the poor. But, after searching around for some time, I succeeded in finding some soup, which I reheated and into which I crumbled some bread, and I gave it to the poor young man, who ate it. As I was taking the bowl from him, he gave me to know that He was the Lord of heaven and earth. When I saw Him as He was, He vanished from my sight. (55) When I went back in and reflected on what had happened at the gate, I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, the blessings of the poor who bless Me as they leave this gate have reached My ears. And your compassion, within the bounds of obedience, has pleased Me, and this is why I came down from My throne – to taste the fruits of your mercy.
I hope this has helped

May God Bless You

Thank you for reading
Josh
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Speaking as a someone who worked in social services for decades, I can tell you that it is rarely wise to give cash to panhandlers. The money will almost always be spent on alcohol and tobacco. The most experienced and successful panhandlers will be the most likely to use contributions this way.

It is much wiser to support shelters and feeding programs which provide housing, food, clothing, counseling, etc…
 
We have a homeless guy sleeping in the doorway of our church. We usually make him a hot drink and give him some food, he seems happy with this and goes on his way. In your situation its tricky, as most likely the money will spent on what he WANTS, rather than he NEEDS.

I don’t think you did anything wrong, I am sure if he asked you for food rather than money you would have helped him? Maybe next time,could you say I don’t usually carry cash on me, however, if you need anything to eat I will be happy to get you something.

Hope this helps,

God bless
 
Here’s how I handle them–not suggesting you do the same–just sharing how I deal with them; purely anecdotal, but perhaps useful.
  1. I have been taken advantage MANY TIMES by many homeless;
  2. How? Because I do not just give them money; I try to get to know them.
  3. Rather than giving them money (which is essentially paying them to leave you alone), i have invited a few in my car, and taken them to a restaurant, and/or a shelter.
  4. Most recently, a fellow on church property; his truck was stalled (this one wasn’t homeless, but bear with me…). He was sauced out of his mind, crying, his wife had cleaned his accounts, left him high and dry. His car wouldn’t start; needed of a jump. I jump started his vehicle, drove him to his house (decrepit, and nasty…), gave him $25.00 that he needed urgently to get his phone reactivated so he could contact his family in Califorina, left him with my business card (so he could arrange to pay me back), took taxi back to my car…
That was like a month and change ago; he swore up and down he’d have the money within 2-3 days. Haven’t heard a lick from him since.

Shocking, I know.
  1. The one before that, probably 6 months ago, was a black fellow who caught me coming out of adoration. Genuinely homeless and destitute (by Am. statndards, anyway, as it didn’t appear he has missed many meals). 6’ something, 200+ lbs. When we got to talking, he was an ex-con who couldn’t find steady employment. Came to Florida chasing a job, that fell through. I took him to mickey d’s, bought him a meal. Then to the nearest shelter, and paid for 1 night (first few are free, and he had exhausted his quota). He agreed to meet me at the church the next morning (told him I’d pay for another night, if he did; and we were going to talk about some work I’d have him do). Never seen or heard from him again.
Shocking, I know… 😉

I could go on and on with such stories.

Here’s the point though: I take the time to get to know them (best I can; I’m sure I’ve been lied to bold faced more times than not, by a long shot). I do them a solid. Demonstrate genuine charity; show them respect; give them the opp’y to repay.

And am still waiting for the time when one such case bothers to even attempt to repay. Not that I want to be repaid; that’s not the point at all. It’s that I want to show them the respect that I believe they can repay me, give them the oppy to seek to find a way…and leave the door open for them not to, if they so desire.

It’s their choice. No consequences for opting the latter; but if anyone of them took me up on the opp’y to try to repay–I’d clear my calendar, and seek to lead them to a more permanent path to recovering (or achieving) respectability.
  1. Selfishly, I sleep better at night knowing that most of the time–most of these ppl–are not interested in any such meaning. They just want the quick fix.
So the times that I can’t help out, or don’t feel inclined to make the investment…I’m pretty comfortable in believing it would be for naught anyway.
  1. …and finally…the experience that seals that resolution most profoundly, goes back about 20 years. Mid-90’s. London, England. I was studying abroad. Saw pan-handlers at every corner. One day, I recognized one near our hotel, that I saw in the morning working another side of town (I recognzied him, because I had taken the time to look him in the face, and engage him in conversation). So I hung out with him–and his friends–for a while. They began confiding in me, and let me in on their operation. I went back with them to their ‘flat’ (apartment). Damn nice spread, in the middle of London, shared by a bunch of similarly displaced young kids (20 somethings)—who paid their rent, by pan handling, especially of tourists.
They would purposely look disheveled and pathetic, play the Dickinson-esque characters, and clear like the equivalent of like 50K USD per year. Conservatively speaking. Very, very conservatively speaking (did the math at the time, with ball park figures). …and of course, promptly **** the lions share away on drugs and the like (after kicking in for rent that is).

Why work, when you can just stick your hand out, look pathetic for a few hours a day, and party to your heart’s content all night?

Why bother trying to repay a guy who gave you a hamburger yesterday, when you can much sooner find another sucker who will throw money at you today?

C’est la vie.

They need prayers–lots and lots of prayers–because in truth, their outward poverty is merely an outward manifestation of a far greater poverty, that lies within.

But we are not absolved of seeking to help them out, thereby.

We remain Christians, and as such, ever charged with offering a helping hand, where and how we can.

(and yes, I’m well aware of how fortunate I am to be alive today, after multiple times of leaving myself vulnerable–letting them in my car, giving them rides, going to their homes/places where they hang, and such…). 😉
 
Just do what you can. If you feel taken advantage of, you probably are. I remember when I worked in downtown Chicago a little girl came up to me and asked for $10. That to me seemed a little off center. I just said I did not have $10, which was true. Her mother was nearby.
 
Next time you see him just say sorry and keep walking. Unfortunately, in my area there are quite a few professional panhandlers. They have even staked out certain corners or freeway ramps for their own territory. So I am not inclined to give money to these folks.
 
AFerri48 said:
There is this one homeless dude that sometimes hangs around my neighborhood. I saw him for the first time earlier this year and I gave him a dollar as I walked by, in response he asked if I had a cigarette on me… I said no and walked by. I saw him again today and this time he specifically asked me for a dollar, and so once again I gave him a dollar. However, after giving him a dollar this time, he quickly asked if I had two dollars. I didn’t give a second dollar and continued walking.

I don’t feel like I did anything wrong, but what’s a good way to handle this guy from now on?
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I would direct him to the homeless shelters. I don’t want to be judgmental here, but I believe that the homeless shelters discourage drug and alcohol use, which interferes with the kind of freedom some of the homeless do not want to give up.
 
Allegra said:
I pretty much figure that if a person is down enough that they are willing to go panhandling, then they probably do need the money. They may not end up spending it the way I would, but I don’t really feel bad giving it to them, if I have it. I’ve also bought grocery store and fast food cards before, when I lived in Kansas City. I used to pass by as many as ten begging people on my way home from work each night. They have a really problem with poverty and homelessness.
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Quick story: one day, as I was arriving at noon weekday Mass near downtown, I said a quick prayer to God, thanking Him for His Blessings, and asking Him to lead me where He wanted me to go, that my ears were open to what He wanted me to do. I had no more than finished that prayer and parked, when a homeless man asked for help. I’m thankful that I had plenty of time before Mass to join him for lunch and offer him a Rosary.

Personally, I just go with whatever feels right; if I’m unsure, I’ll actually have a quick chat with the Spirit or the Father, or maybe Jesus. If I have easy access to some loose dollars, I’ll give it to someone who asks, even at the ramps off/on the interstates. I figure that once I give it to someone, it’s theirs to do with as they wish. It might be for alcohol or drugs, but you know what? They might have robbed someone instead to get that money, and perhaps my few dollars helped avoid that.

Depending on the situation, I might sit down with them and visit (like when I’ve finished dining at a River Market restaurant for lunch), give them some money, and a Rosary if I have one. I’ve met quite a few homeless people when I’ve volunteered, and yes, some are them are homeless by so-called ‘choice’, and others are deep down on their luck, but there is a lot of middle ground.

I’ve been blessed that sometimes when I’ve been asked, God has granted me a blessing and I’m happy to share it with someone else; and, really, will that dollar make a difference to me at the end of the day? Will that twenty? Will that time I spent on the bench be missed? Usually, no. I thank God for the blessing and opportunity to help someone.

And Allegra is correct; we do have a pretty large homeless population. 😦
 
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