How to have my girlfriend go in faith

[jbm0117]

I am currently dating this girl whom I would hope to marry. She does not have the zeal that I have and would want to share the joy that I get out of a relationship with the Lord. I know it is at her own time and pushing it does not help. I dunno what I can do to help her or If I should proceed withi this relationship if she is unwilling to really look at the faith.

Thanks

 

[sdelane2]

Pray for her, and make sure you are always a good example to her. Don’t be afraid to do certain things like pray around her.

God bless.

 

[Sasha]

I am currently dating this girl whom I would hope to marry. She does not have the zeal that I have and would want to share the joy that I get out of a relationship with the Lord. I know it is at her own time and pushing it does not help. I dunno what I can do to help her or If I should proceed withi this relationship if she is unwilling to really look at the faith.

Thanks

Well, as you said, you can’t push her. However, you can set a wonderful example for her by attending Mass, praying, forgiving others, being charitable, etc.

One question I have - is she Catholic? If so, I’m assuming (feel free to correct me if I am off-base) that she is a cafeteria Catholic? If that’s the case, then it’s possible that she is simply not very educated about her faith. I personally fell into that category for years. Once I learned more about my faith, I came to embrace the full Truth about the Church and her teachings. If you think this is the case, I would suggest trying to get her to learn more about her faith. This could be tricky, but you should know better than me the best way to approach this with her in a way that doesn’t result in turning her off.

If she is not Catholic, then she is probably mis-informed about what the Church teaches, but it will be a little more difficult as you are now trying to get her to learn about a faith that isn’t even hers. Perhaps you can approach this as saying you would like her to learn more about something that is very important to you?

I hope that helps… feel free to correct me if I made any incorrect assumptions.

 

[Trishie]

I’ll keep you both in my prayers, that God will guide you in your choices, and that God will give you and any person you care forr deep experience of His love and truth.

God grant you happiness and peace!

Trishie

 

[BlestOne]

I don’t know how old you are, your religious convictions or hers but when dh and I first started dating he was Lutheran and I am Catholic… I told him upfront that I couldn’t see myself marrying or staying in a relationship with someone I can’t share the biggest part of me… My faith life. I would never push anyone to convert for me or be something they aren’t but why date someone whose love for God isn’t like yours if you can’t share it with them?

My dh went to mass with me, asked questions, loved the mass… and then finally became Catholic… a couple years later I married him.

 

[1ke]

I am currently dating this girl whom I would hope to marry. She does not have the zeal that I have and would want to share the joy that I get out of a relationship with the Lord. I know it is at her own time and pushing it does not help. I dunno what I can do to help her or If I should proceed withi this relationship if she is unwilling to really look at the faith.

Thanks

You can lead by example. If she does not want a relationship with God and does not want to practice the faith in the same way you do, then you have a serious decision to make. It is a huge mistake to move forward in a marriage hoping someone will change.

If you want a wife who shares your faith, this girl may not be the right one.

 

[Tinajo]

One question I have - is she Catholic? If so, I’m assuming (feel free to correct me if I am off-base) that she is a cafeteria Catholic? If that’s the case, then it’s possible that she is simply not very educated about her faith. I personally fell into that category for years. Once I learned more about my faith, I came to embrace the full Truth about the Church and her teachings. If you think this is the case, I would suggest trying to get her to learn more about her faith. This could be tricky, but you should know better than me the best way to approach this with her in a way that doesn’t result in turning her off.

If she is Catholic, I second this as I was also a very uneducated Catholic, and through seeing my husband practise his faith much more devoutly, I gradually got the confidence to ask him questions and read up about things on the internet (like here )

But if it’s important to you that you’re on the same page about your faith, try not to get too caught up in the idea of marrying her - with more time she might be ‘converted’ (not sure if that’s the right word for someone who was always a Catholic!) or you might realise that it won’t work out.

Hope that helps!

 

[newbetx]

I am currently dating this girl whom I would hope to marry. She does not have the zeal that I have and would want to share the joy that I get out of a relationship with the Lord. I know it is at her own time and pushing it does not help. I dunno what I can do to help her or If I should proceed withi this relationship if she is unwilling to really look at the faith.

Thanks

my first impression was to ask “What’s wrong with you?” But that would sound unkind and it’s really not the question is seems. Everyone is at a different level of something. My DW was very much more “religious” than I was when we met and still more after we were married. No couple is even on everything. In fact, that would be bad. Being at two ends of a spectrum sometimes is a good thing for balance. Of course in faith, it’s not a good thing but it’s not often that both share the same ‘zeal’ for God.

If you feel called to help this person on her journey of faith, you will have to change some yourself. I often refer to a person wanting a spouse to “catch up” to their faith as trying to pull someone along with a very long rope. It just wont get the job done. If you want the person on the path with you you must be willing to go back, put her arm in yours and walk together upon the path. If she is not interested, you can make it clear for as long as you like that the opportunity is there to discover it together when ever she likes. It would be arrogant to say “Hey, I’m up here and you need to get there with me.” So take it as slow as necessary. Show her the power of God’s love in everything you do. Eventually, you will know whether this will lead to anything more than a friendship.