How to improve at examinations of conscience?

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As a new Catholic, I’m still struggling quite a lot with Confession. It’s not so much that I find it unbearably uncomfortable or frightening. I’ve been blessed to have such excellent experiences in Confession thus far such that I really can see the appeal and value. It’s that I feel so desperately incompetent when it comes to going through an examination of conscience and figuring out what I should be confessing.

It’s safe to say I don’t struggle with any clearly mortal sins, but I know I’m not perfect and MUST becommitting at least a few venial sins. I certainly have behaviours and habits I wish I didn’t - my temper and tendency to obsess over problems are two major ones. But I can’t quite figure out when and if those amount to sins.

I really admire the people who go to Confession regularly - like, once a month or so. I just can’t imagine what I would say if I went that often. It’s been six months or so since my last Confession, and I’m struggling to identify sins now.

Anyone have any hints or tips?
 
Advice that I have been given in the past is that confession is a bit like the gym. The longer you leave it the harder it is to go to!
So try and go once a month
Use a pre prepared examination of conscience questions that can be found in Missals or probably online too.
Ask your guardian angel, patron saint and Jesus to help remember your sins.
 
Try praying to remember your sins. There is a prayer to pray before going to Confession in the Catholic Devotional for instance.
 
I’ve been through, and have on hand, several different examinations of conscience. I’ve also read a great deal of introductory material on Confession, the purpose of the sacrament, and the preparation for it. I could probably recite most of the material.

My difficulty is that when I go through these examinations and try to apply them to my life and my actions, I have a difficult time figuring out where the balance is between “Well, I haven’t murdered or slept with anyone, so I’m probably fine,” and “Oh no, I had an unkind thought about the person who cut me off in traffic, I’ve clearly committed a grievous offense against God.” I know there is a balance, I just don’t know where it is.
 
casslean said:
I’ve been through, and have on hand, several different examinations of conscience. I’ve also read a great deal of introductory material on Confession, the purpose of the sacrament, and the preparation for it. I could probably recite most of the material.

My difficulty is that when I go through these examinations and try to apply them to my life and my actions, I have a difficult time figuring out where the balance is between “Well, I haven’t murdered or slept with anyone, so I’m probably fine,” and “Oh no, I had an unkind thought about the person who cut me off in traffic, I’ve clearly committed a grievous offense against God.” I know there is a balance, I just don’t know where it is.
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Well, personally if I’m not sure whether something is a sin–or to what degree how serious something is–I just bring it up in confession and ask the priest.
 
Do an examination of conscience every night before you go to sleep. Go over the events of the day in your mind, and find where you sinned and what you need to work on. If need be write your sins on a piece of paper.

Also, if you frequent confession more often the easier you will see your sins.
 
LittleFlower378 said:
Do an examination of conscience every night before you go to sleep. Go over the events of the day in your mind, and find where you sinned and what you need to work on. If need be write your sins on a piece of paper.
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Telling me to do an examination doesn’t help me figure out HOW to do an examination. I can read the words. I can remember all my behaviours and actions. I cannot make a connection between the actions and when it amounts to sinful behaviour that should be confessed or when I’m just veering into being scrupulous.

And I can’t frequent Confession more often if I can’t figure out what I’m supposed to be confessing. “Bless me Father for I have sinned. I frankly don’t really know what I’ve done, but I’m confident I’ve sinned somehow.” I don’t think that’s going to go over well.
 
casslean said:
As a new Catholic, I’m still struggling quite a lot with Confession. It’s not so much that I find it unbearably uncomfortable or frightening. I’ve been blessed to have such excellent experiences in Confession thus far such that I really can see the appeal and value. It’s that I feel so desperately incompetent when it comes to going through an examination of conscience and figuring out what I should be confessing.

It’s safe to say I don’t struggle with any clearly mortal sins, but I know I’m not perfect and MUST becommitting at least a few venial sins. I certainly have behaviours and habits I wish I didn’t - my temper and tendency to obsess over problems are two major ones. But I can’t quite figure out when and if those amount to sins.

I really admire the people who go to Confession regularly - like, once a month or so. I just can’t imagine what I would say if I went that often. It’s been six months or so since my last Confession, and I’m struggling to identify sins now.

Anyone have any hints or tips?
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Sins of omission too. For example see Matthew 25:
41 Then he shall say to them also that shall be on his left hand: Depart from me, you cursed, into everlasting fire which was prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 * For I was hungry, and you gave me not to eat: * I was thirsty, and you gave me not to drink. * 43 I was a stranger, and you took me not in: * naked, and you covered me not: * sick and in prison, and you did not visit me.
44 Then they also shall answer him, saying: Lord, when did we see thee hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister to thee? 45 Then he shall answer them, saying: Amen I say to you, as long as you did it not to one of these least, neither did you do it to me. 46 And these shall go into everlasting punishment: but the just, into life everlasting.

Ezekiel 16
49 Behold this was the iniquity of Sodom thy sister, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance, and the idleness of her, and of her daughters: and they did not put forth their hand to the needy, and to the poor. 50 And they were lifted up, and committed abominations before me: and I took them away as thou hast seen.
 
casslean said:
Telling me to do an examination doesn’t help me figure out HOW to do an examination. I can read the words. I can remember all my behaviours and actions. I cannot make a connection between the actions and when it amounts to sinful behaviour that should be confessed or when I’m just veering into being scrupulous.

And I can’t frequent Confession more often if I can’t figure out what I’m supposed to be confessing. “Bless me Father for I have sinned. I frankly don’t really know what I’ve done, but I’m confident I’ve sinned somehow.” I don’t think that’s going to go over well.
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If you’re not sure whether you have sinned/whether something is a sin, you can always ask the priest for help and guidance when you do go for confession.

If it were me, I wouldn’t let it stop me from going, for example. I’m not saying that you would do this, by any means. I’m just using this statement as a personal example for myself.

I would let the priest know that I wasn’t sure if something/some situation were a sin for example, and then just ask him for help, to explain, etc.
 
I recently looked up a couple of those guides to examination of conscience and they differ in many ways.

I’ve told the priest frankly about this and that there are many such sins, too numerous to mention, where I feel some guilt.

I also have to deal with a certain amount of scrupulosity because I can’t give money to every poor person or charity that solicits my funds.

I don’t think we are all stamped out in identical ways, and some temptations don’t bother us whereas others do.

I think it’s good to read the catechism of the Catholic Church to see what kinds of sins it holds up for us to consider. I have a book or two on Jewish ethics, because they, of course, go more deeply into the commands of the Old Testament, with modern implications.These must be read with a Catholic perspective, of course.

but, they focus so very much on loving God and loving our neighbor, taking care of our parents, and such things. They go into these subjects very deeply and thoughtfully. And, they focus on daily prayer which is a demand of both Christians and Jews.

The relatively new sin on the block is evangelization, specifically whether we do it when we have the opportunity to do so.

The Catholic Church does not take a first cut on explaining how we are to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, as is done in Jewish texts. “all our strength” means, in a Jewish context, all our resources – money. The Jewish sage point out that this list is in increasing order of difficulty - mind, soul (willing to give up our life), mind (Jesus added this, but that’s OK of course and the NT talks about the evil of being double minded), and strength – what is this strength? – are we really trying, or do we let things slide to the weekend?

Sloth may be an underconfessed sin - it is for me – being less attentive to prayer and spirituality than I should be.
 
Thee is a Jewish book on the six constant mitzvos (commands) that are applicable every second of the day. do you know what these are?
 
I have an extensive list of questions in the Examination of Conscience that I use. It’s divided into categories such as the 10 Commandments, the 7 Deadly Sins, the Sermon on the Mount, etc. I usually just pick one category and use that for my weekly examen though I generally focus on the Commandments and the sin of Pride.

I go to Confession every week so I’ve cultivated what I think is a healthy sense of sin. When examining my conscience I consider where I have fallen short of perfection in keeping the Commandments. Usually I don’t get much further than the First Commandment before I have 2 or 3 sins to confess, eg.: (1) I have not kept God first in my life even at most times this past week, instead I have allowed food, rest, entertainments, and my other selfish desires to come before Him. (2) I have not sought the Will of God for my life, instead I have sought his approval for my own selfish will in making decisions.

I also pray to the Holy Spirit for enlightenment before my examen and pray for contrition afterwards.

I hope this helps.

Be at peace.
 
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