How to improve my relationship with my mum

[ZAKI]

As most of you know (i think), i converted to islam a couple of years ago, since then my mother who is a christian, has spoken/interacted with me to a point where i don’t even see her face some days and it’s gradually become worse over the years…and I think it’s about time to do something about it (something i shouldve done a while back).

I just want to know if any of you have any advice on how to improve my relationship with my mum, how to talk with her and stuff? since most of the people here are christian, you could maybe tell me how she’s thinking and how i can approach her.
That’s all, I’ll be grateful for any help.

 

[Sam_777]

Welcome back ZAKI .

Is your mother a devoted Christian?

 

[ZAKI]

Welcome back ZAKI .

Is your mother a devoted Christian?

i think she is yes, she goes to church always once a week and sometimes two-three times plus she knows a fair bit of the bible off by heart

 

[benidict]

As most of you know (i think), i converted to islam a couple of years ago, since then my mother who is a christian, has spoken/interacted with me to a point where i don’t even see her face some days and it’s gradually become worse over the years…and I think it’s about time to do something about it (something i shouldve done a while back).

I just want to know if any of you have any advice on how to improve my relationship with my mum, how to talk with her and stuff? since most of the people here are christian, you could maybe tell me how she’s thinking and how i can approach her.
That’s all, I’ll be grateful for any help.

hi Zaki. do you live close to home? is this due to distance? im the only Catholic in a family of all protestants, and it does get interesting on say…reformation day? lol! my brother, she is your mother. this will be easy. just go to her, and tell her, you dont want your respective faiths to come in between you. that you love her, and pray for her. and you want her also to pray for you. my parents are also quite liberal, where im more conservative. we dont let things like our faith, and politics, get in the way of the family. about the only thing, my dad and i agree on, is the college football team we both support. we dont even have the same pro teams! lol! im a bears fan, hes for the lions. but we do have solidarity when it comes to the University of Michigan Wolverines… !!M GO BLUE!!

 

[ZAKI]

hi Zaki. do you live close to home? is this due to distance? im the only Catholic in a family of all protestants, and it does get interesting on say…reformation day? lol! my brother, she is your mother. this will be easy. just go to her, and tell her, you dont want your respective faiths to come in between you. that you love her, and pray for her. and you want her also to pray for you. my parents are also quite liberal, where im more conservative. we dont let things like our faith, and politics, get in the way of the family. about the only thing, my dad and i agree on, is the college football team we both support. we dont even have the same pro teams! lol! im a bears fan, hes for the lions. but we do have solidarity when it comes to the University of Michigan Wolverines… !!M GO BLUE!!

lol im 17…i still live IN home. which sort of makes it more awkward but easier at the same time but i dont know how to approach her—do i just walk up to her and say that?

also, wolverine isnt blue, but then again i know nothing about american football living in aus and all

 

[Sam_777]

You know ZAKI, forgiving relatives is really very hard, it’s always easier to forgive a stranger than forgiving a relative person .

The only way to overcome such barrier is between GOD’s hands, and since she is a devoted Christian, maybe one day she would lean towards you once you approach her.

Do not forget that you had converted to Islam which wasn’t an easy thing for her…

 

[benidict]

lol im 17…i still live IN home. which sort of makes it more awkward but easier at the same time but i dont know how to approach her—do i just walk up to her and say that?

also, wolverine isnt blue, but then again i know nothing about american football living in aus and all

17! and already thinking about things eternal to such a deep degree. amazing. and God bless you. i will be praying for the Lord to Guide you where he wants you to go. but yes. she is your mum. i dont care what the disagreements are. we love our mums! she is the one person above all others you should be able to talk to. with my daughter its different. she comes to me. im more open minded than her mother. but normally this is not the case. march straight up to your mum. give her a hug, tell her how much you appreciate and love her, and that you are not going to let any differences get in the way of your relationship with her…well almost. i assume your a guy. so if she starts giving you grief about any future girlfriends…well. we can cross that bridge when we come to it. Peace and prayers on your behalf. oh yes. and being from australia, i know full well you know all about football. especially austrailian rules football. and they dont wear pads! they are some tough dudes. Peace

 

[jakasaki]

Hi there Zaki old pal ~ Nice to see you back here again!!

Last time you were here you had changed your religion status from “islam” to “researching”

After you left Christianity & joined islam, did your mother acknowledge you or was she as she is now - meaning the way you described your situation with your mom.

You were only 16 when you stopped posting on CAF, so I want to wish you a happy belated birthday -

Did you tell her you left islam…? If you did, what did she say…??

Looking forward to hearing from you dear friend…

What are some of your spiritual roads you are “researching”…??

 

[ZAKI]

Hi there Zaki old pal ~ Nice to see you back here again!!

Last time you were here you had changed your religion status from “islam” to “researching”

After you left Christianity & joined islam, did your mother acknowledge you or was she as she is now - meaning the way you described your situation with your mom.

You were only 16 when you stopped posting on CAF, so I want to wish you a happy belated birthday -

Did you tell her you left islam…? If you did, what did she say…??

Looking forward to hearing from you dear friend…

What are some of your spiritual roads you are “researching”…??

hey jagasaki,
I haven’t left islam, and that’s why my mum hasn’t been talking to me, I still follow islam but i had researched other religions (mainly eastern religions and philosophies which didnt really suit me) to know if there’s anything else that might seem right to me.

i just want my mum to be happy with me no matter what i do…and i know there’s a God out there, i mean there has to be but i dunno which path is the right path, i still pray most days (not always five times a day as required) but i just feel that the passion i felt about islam when i was 14 has gone away, its as if a dont care about religion at all or God but I still think he exists though—it’s weird

glad to see some of the old posters are here (u too sam)

 

[ZAKI]

You know ZAKI, forgiving relatives is really very hard, it’s always easier to forgive a stranger than forgiving a relative person .

The only way to overcome such barrier is between GOD’s hands, and since she is a devoted Christian, maybe one day she would lean towards you once you approach her.

Do not forget that you had converted to Islam which wasn’t an easy thing for her…

Trust me I know
…and i hope so

17! and already thinking about things eternal to such a deep degree. amazing. and God bless you. i will be praying for the Lord to Guide you where he wants you to go. but yes. she is your mum. i dont care what the disagreements are. we love our mums! she is the one person above all others you should be able to talk to. with my daughter its different. she comes to me. im more open minded than her mother. but normally this is not the case. march straight up to your mum. give her a hug, tell her how much you appreciate and love her, and that you are not going to let any differences get in the way of your relationship with her…well almost. i assume your a guy. so if she starts giving you grief about any future girlfriends…well. we can cross that bridge when we come to it. Peace and prayers on your behalf. oh yes. and being from australia, i know full well you know all about football. especially austrailian rules football. and they dont wear pads! they are some tough dudes. Peace

lol mate I wish it was that easy…
i’m going to speak to her tomorrow hopefully-let’s hope it goes well

 

[Sister_Amy]

My own relationships with both my parents started to improve once I made an effort to really try and take care of them and show my love and respect for them.

At first, I started doing the dishes and stuff when I’d come to visit. I make sure to buy them gifts on their birthdays and holidays. Now I moved away so I don’t see them much but try to call them regularly (even more than other family members), and when I do visit I make time just for them, and try to pay for dinners and gas when I can.

Since you still live with your mother, it’s a great time for you to be able to help her around the house. Do whatever she asks as soon as you can, but try to look for ways to help when she doesn’t ask (i.e., cleaning the dishes, folding laundry, cleaning bathrooms.) Anything to make her life easier.

 

[ZAKI]

My own relationships with both my parents started to improve once I made an effort to really try and take care of them and show my love and respect for them.

At first, I started doing the dishes and stuff when I’d come to visit. I make sure to buy them gifts on their birthdays and holidays. Now I moved away so I don’t see them much but try to call them regularly (even more than other family members), and when I do visit I make time just for them, and try to pay for dinners and gas when I can.

Since you still live with your mother, it’s a great time for you to be able to help her around the house. Do whatever she asks as soon as you can, but try to look for ways to help when she doesn’t ask (i.e., cleaning the dishes, folding laundry, cleaning bathrooms.) Anything to make her life easier.

sounds like a plan
thanks sister

 

[Bluegoat]

hey jagasaki,

i just want my mum to be happy with me no matter what i do…and i know there’s a God out there, i mean there has to be but i dunno which path is the right path, i still pray most days (not always five times a day as required) but i just feel that the passion i felt about islam when i was 14 has gone away, its as if a dont care about religion at all or God but I still think he exists though—it’s weird

This is normal after religious conversion - it is likely you will experience it no matter what religion you are. It is like being married - at first it is very exciting, but after a time, the infatuation wears off. You need to work to keep up habits (like prayer) that came easily before. But it is a great time for growth in your faith.

Have you read The Screwtape Letters? It talks about this, among other things, and is a very enjoyable book.

I think the advice you have got about your mum is good. If you want her to know how much you appreciate her, you could always get her some flowers, with a little message on them. That’s why they invented those little cards.

 

[ZAKI]

This is normal after religious conversion - it is likely you will experience it no matter what religion you are. It is like being married - at first it is very exciting, but after a time, the infatuation wears off. You need to work to keep up habits (like prayer) that came easily before. But it is a great time for growth in your faith.

Have you read The Screwtape Letters? It talks about this, among other things, and is a very enjoyable book.

I think the advice you have got about your mum is good. If you want her to know how much you appreciate her, you could always get her some flowers, with a little message on them. That’s why they invented those little cards.

true that, i havent read it but i have heard of it, written by cs lewis.

okay I’ll get her some flowers and some cards and i’ll do the dishes and washing and vacuuming…anything to please my mum

thanks for the advice everybody, it means alot to me