How to know when child is ready for Confession?

[jc413]

Just wondering what your thoughts are. We have four children who are homeschooled. The oldest two are 7 (nearly 8) and 6 1/2. They are both half-way through second grade academically.

I have no doubt our oldest is ready to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and I suspect my six-year-old is, too. She has always been mature for her age and will be seven in July but “technically” has not fully reached the “age of reason.”

Our pastor has left this totally up to us.

How do you know if your child is ready?

ETA: Yes, my signature is VERY outdated but I have no idea how to change it!

 

[puzzleannie]

does the child know the difference between right and wrong?
between true intentional sin and an accident
the degrees of offending God, offending parents and those in authority, and offending or hurting one’s neighbor
the basics of Christian morality, appropriate for his age-- why common sins committed by children are wrong, disobedience, lying, stealing, fighting with siblings, physically hurting someone, missing Mass on purpose etc.

the requirements for sin–it is wrong because God and the Church teach that it is wrong, I know it is wrong, but I do it anyway on purpose with intention to do wrong

how do you model reconciliation in the family? does he understand that concept of needing first and foremost God’s forgiveness, absolution through sacramental confession of the sacrament of the Church, and reconciliation and restoration of right relationship with anyone he has harmed.

difference between big and little sins, or mortal and venial sins.

does he know the form for confession, what to do and say, what the priest will do and say, and how to respond. Has he visited the confessional to ease any anxiety.

does he know a simple act of contrition and understand the meaning of the words

first and foremost–has he indicated in word or demeanor or both that he feels he has sins he wants to confess and is asking how soon or when he can make his confession? if this is the case take him the next opportunity for confession at your parish. simply remind him to tell the priest this is his first time.

Our Sunday Visitor’s pamphlets Catholic Parent Know How on the various sacraments are excellent helps in immediate preparation for reception of sacraments. In any case, at whatever time is set for first communion in your diocese, he must be brought to first confession, about six months or so before communion is good timing. He should have opportunties to confess regularly in the meantime, of course, without implanting the wrong idea that sacramental confession is required before each and every reception of communion (in the absence of mortal sin).

 

[laszlo]

My three younger brothers (after preparation; between 1948 and 1952) made their first confession and received the Holy Eucharist at age 5, before school. They understood what is sin, and in their level were able to differentiate between the gravity of sins. Naturally later their understanding developed, but at age 5 they were serious about their confession.

The common argument was that St Therese of Lisieux took her first confession at age 5

This official document

vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cclergy/documents/rc_con_cclergy_doc_07121980_fconf_en.html

recommends age seven years as average

 

[Tentoes]

most kids at that age know right from wrong and should know about the commandments. Give them some examples - "have you ever not shared a toy, called your brother names, not told the truth to someone, made fun of someone, etc… try and compare them to the commandment it represents and have them write them down on a piece of paper so they can take them into the confessional - it helps them relax a little

 

[jc413]

Thanks for the feedback. I didn’t know that about St. Therese!

To answer the questions, yes, this child fully knows what sin is, and shows a mature knowledge of her own culpability. She also knows the difference between mortal and venial sins, and has had instances of coming to us, her parents, to confess and has shown repentance.

She does not know the words of an Act of Contrition, but that is easily remedied. I have already acquired the materials to prepare both of them and will begin right away.

She has never asked to be taken to Confession, and she is very shy and sensitive. I’m afraid she will be mortified. She will likely cry.This is one thing that makes me hesitate…maybe she needs some more time? But I don’t want to neglect bringing her if I should.

Our pastor is very kind and approachable. I think I will discuss this with him and see what he suggests.

Thanks again for the feedback!

 

[MissRose73]

Both my sister and I had our First Confessions around 9/10 years old, and in grade 4.

We had preparation classes with our teacher & sometimes the priest would come by during classes then we had a ceremony with our immediate families present.

Each of us went to a private area and made our confession without our families nearby. The priest made us feel at ease during the process. Then after, we went to light a candle with our family in a special area. We received certificates after all of class was done with confessions.

Although, I feel that many kids know right from wrong from an earlier age, and could benefit from going. I am sure it can be done in a way to make young kids feel at ease.

I had no idea that St Therese made her first confession at a young age, I learned something today.