How to lead a simple life?

[JosephConsta]

Hi brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ,
This is my first topic ever in this forum, although I’ve been reading it for some time. My name is Joseph Constantine (just call me Joseph). I’ve been growing up Catholic and I’m totally happy with it.
I am a young gay man who just graduated from college. I’ve been thinking a lot about my sexuality. I used to think of ignoring the Catholic Church’s teachings on this matter and looking for a partner like every other gay. But after many prayers, I started to “feel” that our Lord actually wants me to live a celibate life. As my love for God grew, my desire for a coupling life just shrunk. However, there’s still a very long way ahead and I don’t know if I can follow till the end. Please pray for me.
Since I was in secondary school, I have always thought of leading a simple life in which I just spend my time with God, doing what I like and helping other people. But the thing is I came from a poor family and my parents always worried about money. So I really tried to focus on my studying as I thought I should get at least some money to be happy. In the end, I graduated as the first student in the batch (I was studying abroad).
Till now, I’ve been with my first job for more than year. The salary is average, but I can afford my accommodation rental, living expense and paying my study loan. Most of my colleagues are very nice. "Most of the time, I think I quite like my job and consider it like a gift from God. But one problem is that most of my friends are good students and they like talk about is money, money, money. For example, if we talk about someone, first thing to mention is how much he/she earns every month. The more one earns, the more respect he gets from others.
I admit that every time I hear these topics, I just feel sick. Sometimes, my mind is dragged along, thinking if I had more money, I would be happier than now. So I pray a lot to the Lord so my mind is strong enough not to feel jealous with people earning more than me. I enjoying hanging with my friends but I can’t stand those moments when they talk about work and money. What should I do?

 

[Em_in_FL]

Hi Joseph…

Men (and women - let’s face it!) are always going to try to show off in one way or another - always have, always will.
Cavemen compared the size of the animals they killed, men of all ages have competed in sport or strength to show off… this isn’t anything NEW.

So if you don’t want your life to be a competition, don’t let it be a competition! Change the subject with your friends, distract from the topic, and don’t let it become an obsession in your life to constantly show off in competition - regardless of what the competition may be over (strength, money, success, etc)…

Prayers for you! Keep up the good work!

 

[MJJean]

When I was a teen I worked at McDonald’s. Because no one wanted to work the closing shift, it was me, two managers, and the grill guy. We became quite close as a result of being a tiny crew working together every night after the customers were all gone. It just so happens that both managers were gay men. G, the older of the two, was a Christian and chose a celibate life. He was well into his 30’s. He concentrated on his faith, his family and friends, and his job. So, it’s possible. It can be done! You aren’t alone. I’ll be happy to say a prayer for you!

It’s easy to live a simple life when you’re broke. Not so much when you have an average or above average income. As the other poster said, men and women have been competing since forever. If talking of nothing but who makes how much and other such things is not what you want to do you can change the subject or find new friends that have other interests. There is so much about the world and its inhabitants that have nothing to do with money or social status that you could be discussing, so go and find people that share your interests.

Maybe you would be “happier” if you had more money, but maybe you wouldn’t. My husbands brothers are both literally millionaires, yet I have never had the sense that they are happier than my husband with his $30,000 a year. They simply have different problems and stresses. Whenever you start wishing you had more or think that people with more are happier, also think about what blessings you have in your life. You have a job, enough income to cover necessities like rent and utilities, you’re able to pay your education related loans…more than a lot of folks have!

 

[Linusthe2nd]

Hi brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ,
This is my first topic ever in this forum, although I’ve been reading it for some time. My name is Joseph Constantine (just call me Joseph). I’ve been growing up Catholic and I’m totally happy with it.
I am a young gay man who just graduated from college. I’ve been thinking a lot about my sexuality. I used to think of ignoring the Catholic Church’s teachings on this matter and looking for a partner like every other gay. But after many prayers, I started to “feel” that our Lord actually wants me to live a celibate life. As my love for God grew, my desire for a coupling life just shrunk. However, there’s still a very long way ahead and I don’t know if I can follow till the end. Please pray for me.
Since I was in secondary school, I have always thought of leading a simple life in which I just spend my time with God, doing what I like and helping other people. But the thing is I came from a poor family and my parents always worried about money. So I really tried to focus on my studying as I thought I should get at least some money to be happy. In the end, I graduated as the first student in the batch (I was studying abroad).
Till now, I’ve been with my first job for more than year. The salary is average, but I can afford my accommodation rental, living expense and paying my study loan. Most of my colleagues are very nice. "Most of the time, I think I quite like my job and consider it like a gift from God. But one problem is that most of my friends are good students and they like talk about is money, money, money. For example, if we talk about someone, first thing to mention is how much he/she earns every month. The more one earns, the more respect he gets from others.
I admit that every time I hear these topics, I just feel sick. Sometimes, my mind is dragged along, thinking if I had more money, I would be happier than now. So I pray a lot to the Lord so my mind is strong enough not to feel jealous with people earning more than me. I enjoying hanging with my friends but I can’t stand those moments when they talk about work and money. What should I do?

Just ignore the money talk. Stick with your job if you like it. As far as the simple life, you can put yourself on a strict budget and donate the excess to charity, that is to those individuals and groups locally whom you know are doing good. Use your excess free time to doing works of charity. Volunteering at Church is a good way to do that or at things the Diocease sponsors.

I’ve been single all my life. You can live without sex, its highly over rated. Concentrate on your spiritual life, no reason why you can’t become a Saint, that is what we are all called to be. So never give up on that.

Maybe you can be the one who helps your parents in their old age. Do you have a brother or sister who needs help? Just ideas.
Linus2nd

 

[JosephConsta]

Dear brothers and sisters,
Thank you very much for your advice and prayers, which have enlighten my day. I will keep you all in prayers. Good day to all.

Just ignore the money talk. Stick with your job if you like it. As far as the simple life, you can put yourself on a strict budget and donate the excess to charity, that is to those individuals and groups locally whom you know are doing good. Use your excess free time to doing works of charity. Volunteering at Church is a good way to do that or at things the Diocease sponsors.

I’ve been single all my life. You can live without sex, its highly over rated. Concentrate on your spiritual life, no reason why you can’t become a Saint, that is what we are all called to be. So never give up on that.

Maybe you can be the one who helps your parents in their old age. Do you have a brother or sister who needs help? Just ideas.
Linus2nd

I have one younger sister. You are right, I’m trying to fill my free time with volunteer activities (joining the church choir, visiting migrant workers,…). Hopefully, all these will help me to focus more on the spiritual life. Thank you.

 

[underacloud]

Keep in mind that people who are prepared to boast about income (or other achievements such as sporting or the size of killed animals, or the number of sexual partners, etc) are the most likely to exaggerate or outright lie about it. If these people were truly self-confident and happy, there would be no need to boast to others.

We all (most of us at least) want more than we have, but studies have consistently shown that above a reasonable income level (lower middle-class), there is no further link between wealth and happiness.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

You sound like your priorities are at the right place

It is easy to get sucked into money talk and then suddenly we start desiring stuff that other people have. I find it best to avoid it as much as possible. Perhaps you could just not participate in such conversations, tune out when they start discussing how much people earn.
And do all you can to meet people who share your values and interests. That is so important.

Best of luck and God bless.

 

[JosephConsta]

You sound like your priorities are at the right place

It is easy to get sucked into money talk and then suddenly we start desiring stuff that other people have. I find it best to avoid it as much as possible. Perhaps you could just not participate in such conversations, tune out when they start discussing how much people earn.
And do all you can to meet people who share your values and interests. That is so important.

Best of luck and God bless.

Thank you Contra. I pray everyday so that God can give me courage to follow the way He wants me to live.

 

[EasterJoy]

You might want to consider being an oblate or a third order member of a religious order?
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=179983

It also may turn out that in the long run your temptation to same-sex laisons is not so deep-seated as to prevent you from belonging to a religious community. That is something to take up with a spiritual director, but if it is your vocation to live a single life with a paying job and not to join a religious community (whether or not it is the sexual attraction issue that decides that), you still do not have to be totally flying solo. These third-order associations are just the thing for many Catholics who are not suited to a religious community but would benefit spiritually by having a formal association with one. I think if you are called to a life of simplicity as a single man, this may be just the ticket for you.

 

[Captain_America]

I like the third order idea. You may be fortunate to find a strong community there of people who appreciate your situation and your values.

Re: simple life. It’s pretty easy. The discouraging thing is that the world’s a superficial place, and people who don’t know you will judge you on the quality of your shoes and your taste in threads. Your generation has been stuck with g-normous college bills (that inexplicable, continuing rise in the cost of college), so it has a long-term negative impact on our economy. . . young people will be buying houses much later, cheaper cars, delaying marriage and children.

In a way, it’s fortunate that you’re not interested in marriage. That’s going to save you a buck and open up a lot more housing opportunities for you.

re: SSA. I don’t know your age, but I know what testosterone in the system’s like. When you hit about 27, you’ll not be feeling as randy as when you were 17. I think 17’s probably the highpoint of male’s getting this way. I’m unusual, in that I could be perfectly happy alone, but some aren’t; the third order stuff might offer excellent relationships.

 

[Captain_America]

oh, by the way, we’ve got a modest income. But recent research again confirms that there’s no correlation between income and happiness. The big key to happiness is having interesting and unusual experiences, things that broaden you. So explore new things.

 

[JosephConsta]

I like the third order idea. You may be fortunate to find a strong community there of people who appreciate your situation and your values.

Re: simple life. It’s pretty easy. The discouraging thing is that the world’s a superficial place, and people who don’t know you will judge you on the quality of your shoes and your taste in threads. Your generation has been stuck with g-normous college bills (that inexplicable, continuing rise in the cost of college), so it has a long-term negative impact on our economy. . . young people will be buying houses much later, cheaper cars, delaying marriage and children.

In a way, it’s fortunate that you’re not interested in marriage. That’s going to save you a buck and open up a lot more housing opportunities for you.

re: SSA. I don’t know your age, but I know what testosterone in the system’s like. When you hit about 27, you’ll not be feeling as randy as when you were 17. I think 17’s probably the highpoint of male’s getting this way. I’m unusual, in that I could be perfectly happy alone, but some aren’t; the third order stuff might offer excellent relationships.

I cannot say that I am fortunate not to have interest in marriage. It’s true that I might be able to save a great amount of bucks but marriage has its own happiness then.

I am 23 this year. Maybe in another 5 years I wont be happy being alone anymore, who knows. But still, hopefully I can follow the “lonely” path to the end. I wont be lonely then as God is with me.

 

[Luvz2travel]

Hi brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ,
This is my first topic ever in this forum, although I’ve been reading it for some time. My name is Joseph Constantine (just call me Joseph). I’ve been growing up Catholic and I’m totally happy with it.
I am a young gay man who just graduated from college. I’ve been thinking a lot about my sexuality. I used to think of ignoring the Catholic Church’s teachings on this matter and looking for a partner like every other gay. But after many prayers, I started to “feel” that our Lord actually wants me to live a celibate life. As my love for God grew, my desire for a coupling life just shrunk. However, there’s still a very long way ahead and I don’t know if I can follow till the end. Please pray for me.
Since I was in secondary school, I have always thought of leading a simple life in which I just spend my time with God, doing what I like and helping other people. But the thing is I came from a poor family and my parents always worried about money. So I really tried to focus on my studying as I thought I should get at least some money to be happy. In the end, I graduated as the first student in the batch (I was studying abroad).
Till now, I’ve been with my first job for more than year. The salary is average, but I can afford my accommodation rental, living expense and paying my study loan. Most of my colleagues are very nice. "Most of the time, I think I quite like my job and consider it like a gift from God. But one problem is that most of my friends are good students and they like talk about is money, money, money. For example, if we talk about someone, first thing to mention is how much he/she earns every month. The more one earns, the more respect he gets from others.
I admit that every time I hear these topics, I just feel sick. Sometimes, my mind is dragged along, thinking if I had more money, I would be happier than now. So I pray a lot to the Lord so my mind is strong enough not to feel jealous with people earning more than me. I enjoying hanging with my friends but I can’t stand those moments when they talk about work and money. What should I do?

I come from a poor family and never had much money myself. I live simply before I have to but I don’t really care about keeping up with my neighbors either. I don’t have cable, watch next to no tv, when I’m not working or working on my house I’m out hiking or kayaking or reading. I don’t have an iphone, ipad or xbox. The only thing I really splurg on is kayak related and I don’t need anything. I would like a bike but I sold that to buy a new kayak. I missed the whole Miley thing and it’s things like that which make me glad I’m not into much tv.