How to let down my Pentecostal friend

[VintageRachel]

I need some advice here. I have a very lovely friend who became Pentecostal about 6 years ago. (I became Catholic about 3 years ago.) Prior to that, we were both members of the United Methodist Church. Anyway, she is always hinting around that she wants me to visit her church. This is a Oneness Pentecostal Church, meaning that they do not believe in the Trinity, she doesn’t wear pants, can’t cut her hair, etc… Anyway, they’re having an evangelist named Josh Herring at her church this week for a revival and she is practically begging me to come. I was trying to research the guy to see if I could find anything about him to support my “I’m not coming” argument but came up empty-handed. Besides saying, “I love you dearly as a friend but I don’t believe that the Pentecostal theology is correct and therefore refuse to expose myself to it”, what else can I say? I want to let her down easy since we have been friends for nearly a decade (and the two of us and our husbands are all going out for dinner on Friday night.) How have you all dealt with friends when they want to shove their church down your throat? I value her as a friend SO much but the religion thing is a constant stumbling block.

Thanks in advance!

 

[grace_singh]

let her know that her proselytizing is getting in the way of the friendship. be kind and respectful, let her know that you love and cherish her as a friend, but that the friendship would be stronger and easier if you both agreed to disagree, and not allow theology to come between.

let her know that you are a comitted Catholic, that you are blessed and happy as you are, and that as such you worship God through the Mass.

 

[ralphinal]

I need some advice here. I have a very lovely friend who became Pentecostal about 6 years ago. (I became Catholic about 3 years ago.) Prior to that, we were both members of the United Methodist Church. Anyway, she is always hinting around that she wants me to visit her church. This is a Oneness Pentecostal Church, meaning that they do not believe in the Trinity, she doesn’t wear pants, can’t cut her hair, etc… Anyway, they’re having an evangelist named Josh Herring at her church this week for a revival and she is practically begging me to come. I was trying to research the guy to see if I could find anything about him to support my “I’m not coming” argument but came up empty-handed. Besides saying, “I love you dearly as a friend but I don’t believe that the Pentecostal theology is correct and therefore refuse to expose myself to it”, what else can I say? I want to let her down easy since we have been friends for nearly a decade (and the two of us and our husbands are all going out for dinner on Friday night.) How have you all dealt with friends when they want to shove their church down your throat? I value her as a friend SO much but the religion thing is a constant stumbling block.

Thanks in advance!

I would tell her that as we are all on our own Faith Journey, you must be true to the direction that the Holy Spirit is moving you. Part of that is to explore more deeply the Catholic Faith that you have committed yourself to. Spiritually, to do anything else would be dishonest to yourself. Though you can understand how the revival might be beneficial, you feel called in another direction at this time. ASk her to pray for you as you move with the Holy Spirit and you will do the same

 

[SC_Peach]

Besides saying, “I love you dearly as a friend but I don’t believe that the Pentecostal theology is correct and therefore refuse to expose myself to it”, what else can I say?

This to me sounds like a very Christian thing to say. You’ve been friends so long and she knows you are now Catholic, so she should understand your position.

Their non-belief in the Trinity is reason enough to steer clear, IMO. I wouldn’t go, personally.

Prayers going up for you.

Love in Christ
Kathy

 

[SC_Peach]

I would tell her that as we are all on our own Faith Journey, you must be true to the direction that the Holy Spirit is moving you. Part of that is to explore more deeply the Catholic Faith that you have committed yourself to. Spiritually, to do anything else would be dishonest to yourself. Though you can understand how the revival might be beneficial, you feel called in another direction at this time. ASk her to pray for you as you move with the Holy Spirit and you will do the same

Wow. Much better said than what I said:thumbsup:

 

[ralphinal]

Wow. Much better said than what I said:thumbsup:

Thanks, but it is not better, just different angle. This way, it is all on the Catholic and her relationship with the Holy Spirit, not about the other faith at all. I can say the same thing (the theology is bad and I don’t want to be around it) without making it seem as attacking.

I doubt a Pentecostal would question too much the Movement of the Holy Spirit

 

[SC_Peach]

True…but coming from a Catholic, one can never tell!

I get asked do I even know what the Holy Spirit is!! I digress…

 

[ralphinal]

True…but coming from a Catholic, one can never tell!

I get asked do I even know what the Holy Spirit is!! I digress…

Sure you do. The Holy Spirit is more known to Catholics than anyone else, we just ignore him more

 

[Tezza]

I’ll got to yours if you go to mine

Doubt she’ll take you up on it

Happy Advent season!
Teri

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

I have friends that are always trying to get me to go to their church stuff since I used to be Assemblies of God and converted. I go one of two routes with it.

1. I REALLY don’t want to go, and so I tell them that it just makes me uncomfortable. If they still insist, then I make other plans and tell them that I am busy that night anyway. Or even tell them that I haven’t seen my family or had any time to see them lately and we really need a night together. That usually works well.
2. If it seems like it won’t be too bad, I’ll usually go. There isn’t anything they are going to tell me that I haven’t heard before. I’ll go and plan to hang out with them after and we’ll shoot the breeze. If they want to know what I thought of the sermon, I give them the truth. I always start positively though. Usually: “I really liked X, but I disagree with Y, and Z.” And we’ll talk about it.

 

[Jon_Hus]

I have never been to a pentecostal or any kind of oneness service and I disagree with their theology. However, if a trusted good friend asked me to go I would since I’m secure in my faith. The same would apply to a Catholic friend who wanted me to go to a service as I have been to Catholic Mass numerous times. Once in recient times for a memorial for a co-workers daughter. I didn’t know the daughter and I’m not great friends with the co-worker but in the end he really appreciated my going and it didn’t chip away at my faith at all.

But that is just me.
Jon

 

[ralphinal]

I have never been to a pentecostal or any kind of oneness service and I disagree with their theology. However, if a trusted good friend asked me to go I would since I’m secure in my faith. The same would apply to a Catholic friend who wanted me to go to a service as I have been to Catholic Mass numerous times. Once in recient times for a memorial for a co-workers daughter. I didn’t know the daughter and I’m not great friends with the co-worker but in the end he really appreciated my going and it didn’t chip away at my faith at all.

But that is just me.
Jon

As an aside, I would have no issue going, either. I would point out that some of these things can get kinda pushy.

 

[crazzeto]

As an aside, I would have no issue going, either. I would point out that some of these things can get kinda pushy.

Pushyness would be my main concern, as well as the fact that I know my self… If I started getting pushed, there comes a point when I naturally push back. I wouldn’t want to risk getting into apologetics when a friend of mine invited me to their church. Even when done carefully, one can still create a scandal all too easily.

Further reinforcing the above post, I can’t help but thinking as I type the above “but at the same time… everyone should be offered the fullest truth of the revelation of God”.

 

[ralphinal]

Pushyness would be my main concern, as well as the fact that I know my self… If I started getting pushed, there comes a point when I naturally push back. I wouldn’t want to risk getting into apologetics when a friend of mine invited me to their church. Even when done carefully, one can still create a scandal all too easily.

Further reinforcing the above post, I can’t help but thinking as I type the above “but at the same time… everyone should be offered the fullest truth of the revelation of God”.

I went to one years ago, when i was in high school. My mother thought it was a good idea and she did not know how these people would be. The place was packed with about 1,000 teenagers, with the music and all.

Then, it started. The “if you are not like us, you are damned” speach. The alter call. The dedication to avoid sex and drugs and rock and roll and the influence of the anti-Christ that is Rome.

When I would not go along with it, the confrontation almost became physical. I caught hell about it for weeks at school, too

 

[crazzeto]

I went to one years ago, when i was in high school. My mother thought it was a good idea and she did not know how these people would be. The place was packed with about 1,000 teenagers, with the music and all.

Then, it started. The “if you are not like us, you are damned” speach. The alter call. The dedication to avoid sex and drugs and rock and roll and the influence of the anti-Christ that is Rome.

When I would not go along with it, the confrontation almost became physical. I caught hell about it for weeks at school, too

yeah see here’s the problem, if I started getting that kind of push, then my desire to share the fullest revelation of God’s truth will override my good sense. I’d hate to end up in that position in my friends church which is his entire world

“Ok guys, lets discuss the bible alone…”

“Oh and did you say you’re saved by faith alone…?”

“Don’t beleive in reconciliation…?”

“What? You think you’re always saved after your sinners prayer…?”

“I wonder what the Apistolic Fathers would think of that, oh my I happen to have print outs of several books and letter written by the fathers on hand…”

 

[Jon_Hus]

I went to one years ago, when i was in high school. My mother thought it was a good idea and she did not know how these people would be. The place was packed with about 1,000 teenagers, with the music and all.

Then, it started. The “if you are not like us, you are damned” speach. The alter call. The dedication to avoid sex and drugs and rock and roll and the influence of the anti-Christ that is Rome.

When I would not go along with it, the confrontation almost became physical. I caught hell about it for weeks at school, too

I guess a possible solution would be in the situation like the OP, a person could agree to attend a regular service on a different date.

I guess at the end of the day though, we (at least in theory) are adults here and have to make our decisions and then live with them. I think if it were me though,if one of my good friends really wanted me to go to church with them and I understood the areas of doctrinal disagreement I had with their church, I would tell them before I went and then just go. I would not be impressed by a preacher who argued “oneness” as I know what the Bible teaches on the Trinity. By the same token, I would not be swayed by my Catholic sister re: “the Mass” and all it’s implications for the same reasons. But even knowing this, my sister get’s a big thrill out of me going with her to mass and I get a lesson in patience by putting up with it. It’s just a church service for crying out loud.

 

[VintageRachel]

Thank you all for your replies! You have been very helpful. I absolutely will not be going, that’s for sure. My husband would absolutely explode if I agreed to go because he has zero tolerance for anti-Catholic stuff. And I know her church preaches anti-Catholicism because of some things she has said to me in the past. (For example, right before I was baptized into the Catholic faith, she told me, “I wish you could be baptized at my church instead. Then you’ll be baptized only in Jesus’ name and not the false Trinity.”) I have done the whole, “I’m busy” and “I just can’t make” it avoidance routine before. I once told her that I have my own church on Sundays and cannot miss mine to go to hers. But I want to put it to rest once and for all. She has told me about how it is not uncommon for people to writhe around on the floor, run in circles, shout, cry, moan, dance, etc. at these services and I know that I would feel VERY uncomfortable. The reverance we have for Jesus as Catholics is one of the many things I love about my faith. I am going to compose an email to her tonight that is loving amd charitable but firm.

 

[crazzeto]

Oh my God!!! Your friend wasn’t baptised in the name of the father, son and holy spirit? Oh… Ok yeah I remember hearing about them now. Wow yeah… I know I couldn’t attend. See my previous post

 

[ralphinal]

I guess a possible solution would be in the situation like the OP, a person could agree to attend a regular service on a different date.

I guess at the end of the day though, we (at least in theory) are adults here and have to make our decisions and then live with them. I think if it were me though,if one of my good friends really wanted me to go to church with them and I understood the areas of doctrinal disagreement I had with their church, I would tell them before I went and then just go. I would not be impressed by a preacher who argued “oneness” as I know what the Bible teaches on the Trinity. By the same token, I would not be swayed by my Catholic sister re: “the Mass” and all it’s implications for the same reasons. But even knowing this, my sister get’s a big thrill out of me going with her to mass and I get a lesson in patience by putting up with it. It’s just a church service for crying out loud.

I would agree that a regular service would be better

 

[VintageRachel]

Oh my God!!! Your friend wasn’t baptised in the name of the father, son and holy spirit? Oh… Ok yeah I remember hearing about them now. Wow yeah… I know I couldn’t attend. See my previous post

Nope, they are very non-Trinitarian there. She explained it to me once by saying, “I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, an aunt, and a cousin. Jesus is God and the Holy Spirit. There is no father, son, holy spirit…They are all just different names for Jesus.” I asked her if that meant that Jesus prayed to himself in the garden and never received a reply. So yeah, definitely against the Trinity. I know several of the people on here suggested that they would go just to be a good friend but I am unable to participate in something I see as farcical. Perhaps I am being a religion snob but I see the RCC as the ONE true church and anything else is just…not!