How to love God?

[RyanK]

This might be a rather basic and simple concept but I guess it’s one that I have overlooked. So today my spiritual director gave me a book entitled “The Fulfillment of All Desire” by Ralph Martin and so I read the first chapter today and this is what I read:

“To be holy is not primarily a matter of how many Rosaries we say or how much Christian activity we’re engaged in; it’s a matter of our heart being transformed into a heart of love.”

So this sentence stuck out to me quite a bit because as of lately I’ve been trying to pray around 3 or 4 rosaries a day and I do a lot of prayer time in the morning as well as throughout the day. But I realized that a lot of my prayers I’m not really praying, I’m just saying them. I realize that I lack the fulfillment of love, the idea that I’m not just going through the motions but rather fully involved with our Lord. So my question is, how to I love God more in my prayer life and in everything I do?

 

[Wesley7]

Interesting. God the Holy Trinity sees the human heart and thus transforms it.

 

[mikeghiorso]

I sometimes use the Mysteries of the Rosary as a “jumping off” point in my meditation. I pray the rosary and meditate on how these Mysteries are manifest in my life: (say the Joyful Mysteries): how do I see Christ announced in or by my life? Where do I see Christ visiting? Where/when is Christ being born today? How is Christ made present? When or how can I find Christ in the Temple (my Temple … Church Temple etc) … Most of these mediatations lead me to some sort of action … out of love for God and neighbor.

 

[jmjconder]

Do not confuse the signs of holiness for holiness.

 

[Della]

St. Bonaventure says in order to enter into the love of God in prayer and in our daily life:

all intellectual activities must be left behind and the height of our affection must be totally transferred and transformed into God. This, however, is mystical and most secret, which «no one knows except him who receives it» (Rv 2,17), no one receives except him who desires it, and no one desires except him who is inflamed in his very marrow by the fire of the Holy Spirit whom Christ sent into the world. And therefore the Apostle Paul says that this mystical wisdom is revealed by the Holy Spirit (1Cor 2,10).

But if you wish to know how these things come about, ask grace not instruction… darkness not clarity, not light but the fire that totally inflames and carries us into God by ecstatic unctions and burning affections. This fire is God, and «his furnace is in Jerusalem» (Is 31,9); and Christ enkindles it
in the heat of his burning passion… Whoever loves this death on the cross can see God because it is true beyond doubt that «Man will not see me and live» (Ex 33,20).

IOW, we must die to ourselves and be consumed with the fire of God’s love. This is a process for most of us. It is born of contemplation of which meditation is, like someone else pointed out, the springboard not the destination. So, instead of reciting many rosaries, look around you at little ways you can show love by the things you can do and the things you should not do–as St. Therese of Lisieux did. When we let God move through us in what we do and restrain us from what we shouldn’t do, we learn love and are able to give it to others.

 

[Lutgardis]

This might be a rather basic and simple concept but I guess it’s one that I have overlooked. So today my spiritual director gave me a book entitled “The Fulfillment of All Desire” by Ralph Martin and so I read the first chapter today and this is what I read:

“To be holy is not primarily a matter of how many Rosaries we say or how much Christian activity we’re engaged in; it’s a matter of our heart being transformed into a heart of love.”

So this sentence stuck out to me quite a bit because as of lately I’ve been trying to pray around 3 or 4 rosaries a day and I do a lot of prayer time in the morning as well as throughout the day. But I realized that a lot of my prayers I’m not really praying, I’m just saying them. I realize that I lack the fulfillment of love, the idea that I’m not just going through the motions but rather fully involved with our Lord. So my question is, how to I love God more in my prayer life and in everything I do?

Dear RyanK,
I think your post gets to the very deepest heart of the purpose and ultimate fulfillment of our lives. In order to see what we must do to love God, it is imperative that we truly see with our hearts how God has loved us (only God can help us to see this way); then in return we are to offer back, in full reciprocity to Him, all that we have and are.

Conceptually, it means self-gift. God gave Himself to us fully in Christ, pouring Himself out even to death; we are asked to do the same–to pour ourselves out to Him, to (make a gift of ourselves to Him–even to death).

For most of us, it may not mean physical martyrdom; but there are seeming endless ways and circumstances throughout our lives in which to sacrifice ourselves to Him in return. Every time we deny our own desire, our own advancement, our own benefit, our own will in the pursuit of God’s desire, His advancement, His benefit, His will, we are making ourselves a gift, a sacrifice for Him. In my view, it is not suffering for its own sake, for that would be masochistic. It is suffering for Love’s sake–for the One who is Love–for the One who emptied Himself and became flesh for us, enduring all things in our stead, even the punishment we deserved for our sins.

As our hearts are transformed by His Spirit working in us, all that He wants from us (which is this reciprocal gift of our self to Him) becomes all that we want, too, (to become this very gift that He wants us to be) there is deep, deep joy in this kind of loving acquiescence, even in the very denial of ourselves. That is why He says, “He who loses his life for my sake will find it. He who saves his own life will lose it,” and “Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me.” Paradoxically, what seems to lead to life (serving and satisfying ourselves) does not; and what seems to lead to death (denying serving and satisfying ourselves) does lead to life and joy forever.

St. Bernard of Clairvaux once said, " . . . the motive for loving God is God Himself. . . for He is as well the efficient cause as the final object of our love." In finality, we give ourselves fully to Him and inherit, for all eternity, the One who has become (through His own transforming power) the perfect Object of our love, God Himself.

 

[Hiskid1973]

Scripture gives us three conditions, hot, lukewarm and cold…We can can have head knowledge of God and be far from Him in our heart…That why He told Nicodemus he must be born anew. Not just a physical birth but a spiritual birth…It’s a living/personal
relationship with our creator God, His Son and the Holy Spirit which resides when we have a conversion of our heart…Now if a man marries a wife, he loves/adores her and
do his best to nourish that relationship with daily care, contact and expression…That is the recipe for growth, a real and intimate relationship… We have a choice to grow and as we mature the flesh learns to die and more walking in the spirit is evident. Our prayers are real and heartfelt as we trust God for our daily provision and guidance.Being motivated by His love we reach out to those around us. As we grow we either keep our walk vibrant and alive or get into our life/world or have God as an after thought to be needed when trouble arises…

Another experience where we have what seem a dead prayer life is dark night experience where it seems God has abandoned us. Our prayers seem like lead and
we feel deep discouragement. It takes faith/trust that God is there and He is using this for our good. May the Lord bless,guide and direct you.
H

 

[EmeraldWings]

This might be a rather basic and simple concept but I guess it’s one that I have overlooked. So today my spiritual director gave me a book entitled “The Fulfillment of All Desire” by Ralph Martin and so I read the first chapter today and this is what I read:

“To be holy is not primarily a matter of how many Rosaries we say or how much Christian activity we’re engaged in; it’s a matter of our heart being transformed into a heart of love.”

So this sentence stuck out to me quite a bit because as of lately I’ve been trying to pray around 3 or 4 rosaries a day and I do a lot of prayer time in the morning as well as throughout the day. But I realized that a lot of my prayers I’m not really praying, I’m just saying them. I realize that I lack the fulfillment of love, the idea that I’m not just going through the motions but rather fully involved with our Lord. So my question is, how to I love God more in my prayer life and in everything I do?

You love Him with all your heart, mind, strength, and soul, but you show Him you love Him most by what you do for Him, or by what you deny yourself or suffer for love of Him.
or just look at what Jesus says “If you love me, keep my commandments.” John 14:15

this is also why God tests us, He doesn’t test us so that *He *knows we love Him or that we’re virtuous or whatever else, He tests us so that we can know ourselves, because God already knows us perfectly, so why would He need reassuring?

to learn to love God more, you need to ask Him to help you love Him more, and then just try to live a good Christian life according to the teachings of the church and in imitation of Christ, and i would recommend for that to just read the lives of the saints, God gave us the saints to be examples for us, to make it easier for us to know how to imitate Him, and the best saint stories i can recommend are these - store.saintbenedict.com/index.php?page=shop.browse&category_id=12&option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=1&vmcchk=1&Itemid=1
they are very good and very cheap, but you can also find lives of the saints on www.tanbooks.com which has alot more to choose from and alot more information on the saints, but just costs more.

but yeah, it’s not how many prayers you say or how much good work you do, it’s with what love you do it with that matters, our prayers and good works don’t necessarily say “i love you” as we read - “and if I should have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And if I should distribute all my goods to feed the poor, and if I should deliver my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:2 and - “By their fruits you shall know them.” Matthew 7:16 and - “Not every one that saith to me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven: but he that doth the will of my Father who is in heaven, he shall enter into the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 7:21
to love God means to do His will in all things, and to have a pure intention in what you do, which of course is something you learn and grow in, so you have to be patient with yourself, you’re not going to love God completely all at once, and actually you will be growing in your love for God as long as you live, provided you persevere.

it’s not always easy to know how to love God or to know if you love Him, but just pray on it, and read the lives of the saints and other good Catholic literature every day, and God will show you the way.
oh, and definitely check out Fulton J. Sheen for this subject, he explains it in very wonderful ways - fultonsheen.com/Fulton-Sheen-MP3.cfm
youtube.com/user/CatholicClips#g/p
youtube.com/user/AFaithfulServant#g/c/291A7A1EB7543269

alright, hope this helps, take care.

 

[RyanK]

Thank you all very much for the great answers! They have certainly given me new insights into how to love God more.

I guess my next question is should I continue to try and pray 3 to 4 rosaries a day or should I focus more on simply loving God or both?

 

[RyanK]

oh, and definitely check out Fulton J. Sheen for this subject, he explains it in very wonderful ways - fultonsheen.com/Fulton-Sheen-MP3.cfm
youtube.com/user/CatholicClips#g/p
youtube.com/user/AFaithfulServant#g/c/291A7A1EB7543269

This is what I found on one of the links:

“There is only one word for love in the English language, but there are three in Greek. Eros is a deep, personal, intimate love. Philia is a love of humanity. This type of love is in the will, not feelings. Agape is the love Christ showed for us by becoming man and dying for our sins. It is loving when we’re not loved; it is loving the unlovable. We practice agape by putting love in people in whom we do not find love. This is not human love but is inspired by the tremendous love God has for us.” _Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

Perfect!

 

[Hiskid1973]

Thank you all very much for the great answers! They have certainly given me new insights into how to love God more.

I guess my next question is should I continue to try and pray 3 to 4 rosaries a day or should I focus more on simply loving God or both?

He’s you Abba Father. You are a friend of God…Jesus told us to cast our cares on Him.
You are His…Pour out your heart before Him. Talk to Him like you would an intimate friend. He know your need before you ask…We praise, adore and give Him thanksgiving.
We intercede for others…Be led by the Spirit as needs are sensed in your spirit. Pray the scriptures. There also are prayers written by others that are heartfelt words you can’t express. There’s no “formula” for the correct prayers, just let it flow from the Spirit… May the Lord bless and guide you in this…Just love on Him and through that He will love on others through you.
Your are precious in His eye…Hk

 

[chipeto]

Great info on this thread. I too, have ‘The Fulfillment of All Desire’, starting reading it, and…it seems like it’s for those rather further along their spiritual journey than I. I look forward to revisiting it one day.

The question of how to love God with all my heart consumes me. I want it more than anything. I won’t offer advice because I don’t know anything, but I try to pray frequently, adopt a prayerful attitude always (which I don’t succeed at), pray the Rosary daily (haven’t succeeded at that, either), read the Bible daily, and read about the saints. Right now, I am reading about Saint Therese of Lisieux, because like her, I believe that my vocation is love.

I am not yet Catholic, so I can’t yet receive the Eucharist or go to confession.

 

[Hiskid1973]

The question of how to love God with all my heart consumes me. I want it more than anything. I won’t offer advice because I don’t know anything, but I try to pray frequently, adopt a prayerful attitude always …

We all are the same path, just some further along, but we reach out and help others along. I had a pretty radical conversion experience Aug. of 73 and and encounter with the Holy Spirit that set my faith on fire 4o years ago and I am still learning. We are called to encourage one another, even more so as we see the day of His return approaching. You bring up a good point with keeping a prayerful attitude, as that means a soft and pliable heart…When we fall/sin the enemy is right in out face with guilt which sometime causes us to draw back… But that is when we should draw close. Stay close to the Lord in these days before His return. Keep that lamp full and wick trimmed…Remembering always when we water others we water ourselves…May the Lord bless you and draw you close in the days ahead…Hk

 

[RyanK]

He’s you Abba Father. You are a friend of God…Jesus told us to cast our cares on Him.
You are His…Pour out your heart before Him. Talk to Him like you would an intimate friend. He know your need before you ask…We praise, adore and give Him thanksgiving.
We intercede for others…Be led by the Spirit as needs are sensed in your spirit. Pray the scriptures. There also are prayers written by others that are heartfelt words you can’t express. There’s no “formula” for the correct prayers, just let it flow from the Spirit… May the Lord bless and guide you in this…Just love on Him and through that He will love on others through you.
Your are precious in His eye…Hk

Yeah, that is a good point. I guess I don’t pray casually enough many times and neglect to talk openly with him. I will make sure to do this more often. The rosary is definitely a great way to meditate and maintain inner silence though and definitely pushes me further along in my faith than most anything else.

Great info on this thread. I too, have ‘The Fulfillment of All Desire’, starting reading it, and…it seems like it’s for those rather further along their spiritual journey than I. I look forward to revisiting it one day.

The question of how to love God with all my heart consumes me. I want it more than anything. I won’t offer advice because I don’t know anything, but I try to pray frequently, adopt a prayerful attitude always (which I don’t succeed at), pray the Rosary daily (haven’t succeeded at that, either), read the Bible daily, and read about the saints. Right now, I am reading about Saint Therese of Lisieux, because like her, I believe that my vocation is love.

I am not yet Catholic, so I can’t yet receive the Eucharist or go to confession.

Yeah, I’m not that far into but thus far the book is proving to be just what I need right now. Saint Therese is awesome! She is one of my top three favorite saints. I was where you’re at at one point, I was just brought into the church this past year!
So don’t worry, not too much longer and you’ll be a full blown, full fledged Catholic!

 

[I_Thirst]

This thread reminded me of this from G.K. Chesterton …

"Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair."

Also, I think Song of Songs is a good primer on how to love God.

 

[Hiskid1973]

This thread reminded me of this from G.K. Chesterton …

"Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair."

Also, I think Song of Songs is a good primer on how to love God.

Amen…Good quote. Too often we keep the Lord at arms length and “professional” when it’s meant to be close up and personal…

 

[Hiskid1973]

Yeah, that is a good point. I guess I don’t pray casually enough many times and neglect to talk openly with him. I will make sure to do this more often. The rosary is definitely a great way to meditate and maintain inner silence though and definitely pushes me further along in my faith than most anything else. /QUOTE]

All I even knew was personal heart felt prayer/intercession. I read rosaries before and although there is scripture in there the “say this” twice or three times just seems to me like a formula that could easy fall into rote prayer. To me the idea of my Lord being intimate and personal and listening to my heartfelt cries draws me/keeps me close.
God bless you abundantly on your journey…

 

[Della]

Another good practice that may not seem to be relevant but definitely is, is to pray Morning and Evening Prayer. Rosaries are fine, but the prayer of the Church puts us in touch with the seasons and solemnities of the Church, which draw us more deeply in the eucharistic life of the Church. For it is the Eucharist that is the heart of our worship.

Morning and Evening Prayer ground us and help us worship with the mind and heart of the Church. You can do both offices online: divineoffice.org. Or you can buy a copy of Christian Prayer–it’s easier to learn to use than you may think. Love needs truth in order to be true love, just as truth needs love so it doesn’t become cold or hard. When we delve deeply into truth, we can’t help but love he who is truth.

 

[RyanK]

RyanK;8409368:

Yeah, that is a good point. I guess I don’t pray casually enough many times and neglect to talk openly with him. I will make sure to do this more often. The rosary is definitely a great way to meditate and maintain inner silence though and definitely pushes me further along in my faith than most anything else. /QUOTE]

All I even knew was personal heart felt prayer/intercession. I read rosaries before and although there is scripture in there the “say this” twice or three times just seems to me like a formula that could easy fall into rote prayer. To me the idea of my Lord being intimate and personal and listening to my heartfelt cries draws me/keeps me close.
God bless you abundantly on your journey…

I agree but I also believe that we should engage in all forms of prayer, including meditation. They also say that each Hail Mary you pray, you’re laying down a rose at the feet of the Blessed Mother!

Another good practice that may not seem to be relevant but definitely is, is to pray Morning and Evening Prayer. Rosaries are fine, but the prayer of the Church puts us in touch with the seasons and solemnities of the Church, which draw us more deeply in the eucharistic life of the Church. For it is the Eucharist that is the heart of our worship.

Morning and Evening Prayer ground us and help us worship with the mind and heart of the Church. You can do both offices online: divineoffice.org

. Or you can buy a copy of Christian Prayer–it’s easier to learn to use than you may think. Love needs truth in order to be true love, just as truth needs love so it doesn’t become cold or hard. When we delve deeply into truth, we can’t help but love he who is truth.

Yeah, I actually do pray morning and evening prayer as well as midday and mid afternoon. It helps keep me centered throughout the day and idk, there’s just something I love about praying the LOTH. Thanks for the suggestion!

 

[Della]

Feeling the need to love God more is a sure sign he is drawing you closer. Ryan, considering you are engaged in such an active prayer life you may want to seek a spiritual director for advice as well as a prayer partner. Just a thought. God bless you.