How to love?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Flopfoot
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
F

Flopfoot

Guest
In his encyclical ‘Deus Caritas Est’, Pope Benedict XVI talks about how, in addition to providing people with their material needs, we also have to have a personal care and concern for them and give them the love they need. (Or something like that).

How do we do that?
 
40.png
Flopfoot:
In his encyclical ‘Deus Caritas Est’, Pope Benedict XVI talks about how, in addition to providing people with their material needs, we also have to have a personal care and concern for them and give them the love they need. (Or something like that).

How do we do that?
Click to expand...
I suggest that volunteer work is a good way to do that. A few hours a week make such a difference. There are so many places that one can do this, they are too numerous to mention. I spend a day a week at our local hospice and that program is such a blessing to the patients and to their families. How about a literacy program? How about reading to children in school, or reading for Books for the Blind? There is Meals on Wheels, taking people to the doctor, grocery shopping for those who cannot do for themselves.

Volunteer work is a wonderful way to care for people.
 
We also need to choose to love them and what the best for them. Them being each and every person of the world. We need to be concerned about their health, physical and spiritual and pray for them often.

Volunteer work is good particularly when it lets us directly serve those in need.

Love is a decision and we need to choose to love everyone and desire the best (God’s definition) for everyone.
 
I hope to begin volunteering at our hospital sometime this month. At first I decided to do it because it was required that we have volunteer hours for school, but know I’m excited to help people that are in emotional and physical need. I’m glad God answered my prayer to change my view on this.
 
Sorry, maybe I was a bit unclear on my question.

I know how to give material needs - that’s pretty straightforward and volunteering is a good way to do that. My question is, what’s the difference between just giving, and giving love? How do we do our volunterring and our giving any different so that instead of merely providing for their physical needs we give them love also?
 
40.png
Flopfoot:
How do we do our volunterring and our giving any different so that instead of merely providing for their physical needs we give them love also?
Click to expand...
Love is not an emotion, but an act of will. Therefore, if you perform corporal works in mercy with the intent of acting in love–willfully, then, not “sentimentally”–you are already acting from love. Saint Faustina was given a vision (or, actually, many visions) of Christ, and one of them, from memory, told her that sentiment and emotion were not what one is after. Love is an act of will. It is not felt, but done.
 
Mike O:
Love is not an emotion, but an act of will. Therefore, if you perform corporal works in mercy with the intent of acting in love–willfully, then, not “sentimentally”–you are already acting from love. Saint Faustina was given a vision (or, actually, many visions) of Christ, and one of them, from memory, told her that sentiment and emotion were not what one is after. Love is an act of will. It is not felt, but done.
Click to expand...
I’ve felt love, nothing was done or said, but was pure.
 
So if I intend to love, but don’t really know exactly what love is or what intending to love means, I am still loving?
 
40.png
Flopfoot:
So if I intend to love, but don’t really know exactly what love is or what intending to love means, I am still loving?
Click to expand...
uh, huh?

Remember Love is not a thing, it is a person–Jesus Christ. Imitate him and you are on the right road. The beatitudes and the works of mercy are our guidelines on how to love. It would help if you treat each person as if he were Christ. Mother Teresa is a good example of this kind of love. Gentle and kind attentiveness accompanying the actual work of mercy.

Jesus was not always gentle, though. I’m thinking of the times when he was admonishing the sinner. Even then, he was demonstrating pure love–wanting to save them from their sin. So, perhaps love is more about doing what you can to save souls–whether by ministering to physical needs or by evangelistic zeal.

I often don’t feel loving towards my kids, but I still endeavor to feed them, educate them, shelter and protect them, admonish the sinner in them, cheer them, encourage them, etc. This is really hard sometimes, esp. when they are being ungrateful or disrespectful. Sometimes I just don’t want to put in the work. So, even then, subduing my slothful nature and making a good dinner (or whatever) is love.

Also, considering your question about just giving and giving love. If love is Christ, I guess you have to give Christ.

Good question–it is so easy to live superficially and not think about these things!
 
Mike O:
Love is not an emotion, but an act of will. Therefore, if you perform corporal works in mercy with the intent of acting in love–willfully, then, not “sentimentally”–you are already acting from love. Saint Faustina was given a vision (or, actually, many visions) of Christ, and one of them, from memory, told her that sentiment and emotion were not what one is after. Love is an act of will. It is not felt, but done.
Click to expand...
But it can be both felt and done of which ‘done’ is the more meritorious…in tackling eros in his encyclical Pope Benedict I think was tackling the area of emotions and agape the area of the will.

Undoubtedly Jesus loved Lazurus and Jerusalem since he wept over them…emotions are not to be discounted…one can feel love and act lovingly upon that feeling…by the same token one can feel love but remain entirely centred in self. Or one may not feel love at all and act lovingly. What makes love love is what I do for the love of God and neighbour. “How can you say you love God whom you cannot see, if you do not love your neighbour whom you can”.
Undoubtedly Mother Teresa loved the poor and this was God’s Gift to her and she acted on that love.
I can see your point thought that ‘sentiment and emotion’ or felt love is not prime, rather that love that is transcribed into action whether it be felt or not.

Barb:)
 
40.png
Flopfoot:
Sorry, maybe I was a bit unclear on my question.

I know how to give material needs - that’s pretty straightforward and volunteering is a good way to do that. My question is, what’s the difference between just giving, and giving love? How do we do our volunterring and our giving any different so that instead of merely providing for their physical needs we give them love also?
Click to expand...
I think this comes about by being attuned to the needs of the other…by insighting what a person may need on a deeper level … self confidence, self esteem, feeling of being cared and concerned about etc. If we do try to meet these deeper needs of the other, then we are giving love.

Barb:)
 
Mike O said:
Love is not an emotion, but an act of will. Therefore, if you perform corporal works in mercy with the intent of acting in love–willfully, then, not “sentimentally”–you are already acting from love. Saint Faustina was given a vision (or, actually, many visions) of Christ, and one of them, from memory, told her that sentiment and emotion were not what one is after. Love is an act of will. It is not felt, but done.
Click to expand...

Technically, i guess you are correct. But… well, nobody wants to be loved by somebody who feels nothing for them. And I know that’s not what you were saying. But in re-reading
Deus Caritas Est, i see Pope Benedict emphasizing to us that the personal dimension in giving charity is very important. And at some level i think there is an emotional element to that.

Feelings aren’t the be all and end all - but on the other hand they are still important and, properly trained, very helpful. In a way feelings are an act of the will too. Not that we should try to conjure up sentimentality at the drop of a hat. But to some extent we can train our emotions to go along with our faith. For example, we can usually find ways to cultivate affection - or at least respect - for difficult people (or people we think are difficult 😃 ) That is a way of showing patience. And St Paul said “Love is patient…”

Pope John Paul II had his own great philosophy which I’ve heard described as “Personalism”. People could see he cared about them, was interested in them, had taken some time to try to understand them… That’s a good way to show love. And Mother Teresa talks here about the importance of the personal encounter, kindness and sacrifice when we are giving charity to people in need. These folks operated at a level i can’t even comprehend, but their example is accessible and understandable and i think can be imitated in some ways.
 
40.png
Flopfoot:
Sorry, maybe I was a bit unclear on my question.

I know how to give material needs - that’s pretty straightforward and volunteering is a good way to do that. My question is, what’s the difference between just giving, and giving love? How do we do our volunterring and our giving any different so that instead of merely providing for their physical needs we give them love also?
Click to expand...
One way is through patience and kindness. That sounds so trite and easy to do until you have to deal with a person who is rude or difficult. Maybe you’re even trying to help this person but they are critical of the help you’re giving or ungrateful. Instead of getting angry at the person, being patient and offering the situation up as a sacrifice to God and finding a way to be humorous or friendly anyway pleases God I think.

Just practicing self-control we can bring Jesus’ love into various situations. St Paul said “Love is patient, kind, not jealous, does not brag, is not arrogant, does not act unseemingly, does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not remember any evil, does not rejoice in unrighteousness but in the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…” (1 Cor 13)

So if you do any of those things you will be practicing love and furthering God’s kingdom, even over and above the actual volunteer assistance you’re providing. 👍
 
How to Love:

Love is patient,
Love is kind,
It does not envy,
It does not boast,
It is not proud.
It is not rude,
It is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects,
Always trusts,
Always hopes,
Always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13vs 4-7
 
40.png
blessedstar:
How to Love:

**Love is patient, **

**Love is kind, **
**It does not envy, **
**It does not boast, **
**It is not proud. **
**It is not rude, **
**It is not self-seeking, **
**It is not easily angered, **
It keeps no record of wrongs.
**Love does not delight in evil **
**But rejoices in the truth. **
**It always protects, **
**Always trusts, **
**Always hopes, **
**Always perseveres. **
1 Corinthians 13vs 4-7
Click to expand...
Well said and absolutely so…and a program for life.

Barb:)
 
I think one of the keys is being able to see Christ in others. If we act toward others with the charity (and patience, kindness, etc. that goes along with it) that we would show our Lord in the same situation, then we would be doing a better job of loving them. It is a decision and is shown through our action, so we have to be sure that all of our interactions with others are motivated by our love for Jesus.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top