How to make a sincere repentance?

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I’ve been struggling with masturbation since the last 12 years. I’ve never been able to come out of it. 4 years ago, I got exposed to pornography. I fall into masturbation very frequently. Perhaps twice or thrice a week. And inevitably, I watch porn on the internet about thrice a month. I’m also not able to receive the eucharist for I’m constantly in the state of mortal sin. I’ve been to confession many times in these 12 years. I have been going for confession on a monthly basis since the last 4 years. But I still keep falling into the sin. It makes me believe my repentance is not sincere, since I do the same things again and again although I had “repented” of having done them. I’ve improved in all other areas of sin, but not this. Can somebody help me out? Is there anyone who has been in this situation before and has come out of it?

I need help. Please help me and pray for me.
 
These are very tough addictions to overcome. There really is no sure fire way to beat it that will work for everyone, but I think you’re on the right track. In my opinion/experience, the following will help you on the road to healing:
  1. Confession - Make it weekly if you have to.
  2. Eucharist - Go to Mass directly after confession so you don’t have a chance to slip.
  3. Eucharistic Adoration - Being in the presence of Jesus will help to focus your will.
  4. Rosary - Pray it daily, and I mean the whole thing. You’re not going to be nearly as likely to fall doing this.
  5. Submission - Knowing that these things are wrong, even if you really don’t feel sorry for them, and submitting yourself to Christ’s mercy is really powerful.
Additionally, some people suggest putting a picture of Jesus or Mary near your computer. They say it’s harder to sin with them right there. I find it hard to disagree. Finally, there are computer filters that allow you to be accountable to someone in order to keep you from these types of sites. I suggest getting one and/or removing all traces (links, temp files, etc) from your computer and not going near anything remotely close. This removes the near occassion of sin.

Is this difficult? Yes. Will you fail at some point? Most likely. Does that mean that you can’t pick yourself up and eventually succeed? No. You can do this; just submit yourself to Christ’s mercy and trust that He will heal you.

God Bless. You’re in my prayers.
-CK
 
I agree with the above - weekly Confession with Eucharist as soon as possible afterwards (which means Saturday Confession followed by Saturday Mass, in most cases) and the Rosary every day, coupled with as many long walks and cold showers as you need throughout the day.

Also, keep busy with something that keeps you physically and mentally active - perhaps a sport, dance, or an art form - make big huge pots, or paint big huge paintings. 🙂

Also, track when your worst times of temptation come, and prepare in advance for them. Decide what you’re going to do, and then do it.
 
The problem with weekly confession is that priests are getting frustrated with me. They keep saying, “There must be improvement”, but I keep faltering and then I’m afraid to go to confession so quickly because I’m scared that the priest may not forgive me.
 
iaskquestions said:
The problem with weekly confession is that priests are getting frustrated with me. They keep saying, “There must be improvement”, but I keep faltering and then I’m afraid to go to confession so quickly because I’m scared that the priest may not forgive me.
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Go anyway. Consider the priest’s attitude to be part of your purification. Embrace the embarrassment and shame you feel when he is disgusted with you, and use it to your advantage. Think of it whenever you are tempted to fall.
 
This sin has become so common in my life that sometimes I don’t even feel guilty. Sometimes I don’t even feel sorry that I did it. And then I begin to wonder whether God will really forgive me for my sins, for I don’t have enough sorrow for the sins that I commited.
 
iaskquestions said:
This sin has become so common in my life that sometimes I don’t even feel guilty. Sometimes I don’t even feel sorry that I did it. And then I begin to wonder whether God will really forgive me for my sins, for I don’t have enough sorrow for the sins that I commited.
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You will not break this habit until you love God more than you love the habit. Therefore, pray sincerely for the grace to love God more than you love your bad habit. Decide that you want to love God as He deserves to be loved - that is, more than any earthly pleasure.
 
Pray directly to the Lord and ask Him to reveal Himself to you in the real manner of removing this burden from you, then pray some more then pray some more…Seek His face and you’ll see His hands make things right in your life.
 
You have given me ways to deal with sin, but I want to know how I can make a sincere repentance. Is it not possible that I make a sincere repentance once and for all, and then I never again fall into this particular sin?
 
iaskquestions said:
This sin has become so common in my life that sometimes I don’t even feel guilty. Sometimes I don’t even feel sorry that I did it. And then I begin to wonder whether God will really forgive me for my sins, for I don’t have enough sorrow for the sins that I commited.
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I know this sounds harsh, but if you really want to get control of this, you must take drastic action. I recommend the following:
  1. Disconnect your Internet access at home. If you have it at work or school, then put your monitor in plane site of your colleagues. If you cannot live without it at home, then have a third party, preferably a Christian, put a filter on your computer and monitor it.
  2. Get help and have accountability to someone. St. Joseph Covenant Keepers has programs for people who are addicted to porn. The most important element is having someone you are accountable to.
  3. Follow Catholic_Kenpo’s advise so that you can receive the Eucharist, which will help you. And follow his advise on prayer.
You should treat this like an addiction and get the help you need. Your eternal soul is so much more important than any temporal pleasure.
 
iaskquestions said:
You have given me ways to deal with sin, but I want to know how I can make a sincere repentance. Is it not possible that I make a sincere repentance once and for all, and then I never again fall into this particular sin?
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The sincerity of your repentance for past acts is not necessarily directly linked to your resistence against future temptation. Therefore, just because you repeat a sin, doesn’t necessarily mean you weren’t sincere. On the other hand, penance isn’t a vaccination against sin. That takes work, hard work, for habitual sin.
 
I understand your plight.

Might I suggest some methods to help you avoid the near occasion of sin?

I don’t think we need to go so far as “if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off”…

So let me suggest a much less drastic alternative:

Turn on the Child Protection features on your TV and on the Internet Explorer.

Make your password something particularly remindful of the love you feel towards your God.

When temptation calls, you might find having to type in something like “Because I love you Lord” or “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus” just the pause/prayer you need to drive satan away.

If you travel and go to a hotel make turning off the adult movie option the first thing you do when you get to the room.

Buy yourself a ring with a cross on it. Buy two if you need to.

Find a friend that you trust, to whom you can talk openly, that will hold you accountable on a daily basis.

I Hope this helps,

Chuck
iaskquestions said:
I’ve been struggling with masturbation since the last 12 years. I’ve never been able to come out of it. 4 years ago, I got exposed to pornography. I fall into masturbation very frequently. Perhaps twice or thrice a week. And inevitably, I watch porn on the internet about thrice a month. I’m also not able to receive the eucharist for I’m constantly in the state of mortal sin. I’ve been to confession many times in these 12 years. I have been going for confession on a monthly basis since the last 4 years. But I still keep falling into the sin. It makes me believe my repentance is not sincere, since I do the same things again and again although I had “repented” of having done them. I’ve improved in all other areas of sin, but not this. Can somebody help me out? Is there anyone who has been in this situation before and has come out of it?
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I will be praying for you.
iaskquestions said:
I need help. Please help me and pray for me.
Click to expand...
 
iaskquestions said:
You have given me ways to deal with sin, but I want to know how I can make a sincere repentance. Is it not possible that I make a sincere repentance once and for all, and then I never again fall into this particular sin?
Click to expand...
I believe you’ve been given a great deal more than ways to deal with sin. You’ve been given tools that might help you overcome this sin. As a previous poster said, you cannot truly repent until you believe the sin is detestable because it offends God whom you should love above all things.

All of the advice that has been given is to help you not fall into the sin again. Unfortuntately, there is no magic word that will make it all go away. Sin doesn’t work that way…people don’t work that way. We all have to constantly work to be better.
 
iaskquestions said:
You have given me ways to deal with sin, but I want to know how I can make a sincere repentance. Is it not possible that I make a sincere repentance once and for all, and then I never again fall into this particular sin?
Click to expand...
You need to show moral integrity by righting any whom you’ve wrong by your sin, especially the Lord…Repentance is doing a 180% turn from that which your sin is BECAUSE it offends GOD…

If it’s pennance you speak of I personally think that is just a way to make one feel better about themselves.
 
Alright, I did my confession. Keep me in your prayers. Pray that God helps me to develop self-control.
 
Thanks to all who participated. This thread is now closed.
MF
 
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