How to make friends?

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Kristie

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hello,

i seem to have something in common with a couple of other posters here as i have been feeling quite depressed lately. i think it’s mostly due to lack of friends. i am a year out of college and most of my college friends have either moved away or are too busy working (like me) to hang out. i am engaged, and while my fiance is my best friend, it would be nice to have some female friends and a social network outside of my fiance. but i am suffering from intense fear of making new friends. i have had some bad experiences with female friends in the past, which makes me hesitant to try to make new ones. i want to try to meet Catholic and Christian friends but i am so afraid of being judged if i open up and let them know about my life. i am afraid if they find out i am marrying a not-practicing-so-regularly Catholic, they will judge me and beat me up with the “do not be yoked to unbelievers” verse from the Bible. i just don’t know what to do or where to start. please help. thank you.

kristie
 
Any church friends?

For me, I’m quite close with the people in my church. I know not in all churches are like that. If not, you may want to have some new activities that will enable you to meet new friends. Well, I believe many people have the same experience like you. But we should not give up easily, who knows that the next person that you meet is Jesus in disguise? =)
 
Thank you for the blessings of encouragement and good advice!

-Kristie
 
I didn’t make many Catholic/Christian friends until entering the Seminary. It can be a lonely path at times.
 
I don’t find people at church to be so judgmental. I would say look at what your church has to offer, whether it be Bible study, feeding the homeless, or a prayer group, you are bound to meet interesting people. I think if you go with no expectations, either of making good friends or of people being judgmental, you will make the most of the possibilities. If you find something that your fiance might be interested in - like theology on tap or progressive dinners - so much the better.
 
Join the “young adult” group of the church.
If your Parish does not have one, search online to find one in the near by town.

God bless!
 
My advice - do more than just join a group (joining a group is good) - become a VOLUNTEER. CCD and youth ministry are two places where we never have enough volunteers. This is the way I have met other people. Is everyone I meet in the volunteer world perfect - nope.

There are people there who are single and married and widowed, some to Catholcs, some to non-Catholics - heck, some to athiests! We’ve not run one of them off because spouse or kids are not perfect enough 😃

And if it is important, you will find the time. I work 50 + miles from my home and parish - I work more than full time. We still volunteer with the teens, are in a Bible study group during the week and teach CCD on Sundays. When it is important, you make time for it.

Go!!!
 
kage_ar said:
My advice - do more than just join a group (joining a group is good) - become a VOLUNTEER. CCD and youth ministry are two places where we never have enough volunteers. This is the way I have met other people. Is everyone I meet in the volunteer world perfect - nope.

There are people there who are single and married and widowed, some to Catholcs, some to non-Catholics - heck, some to athiests! We’ve not run one of them off because spouse or kids are not perfect enough 😃

And if it is important, you will find the time. I work 50 + miles from my home and parish - I work more than full time. We still volunteer with the teens, are in a Bible study group during the week and teach CCD on Sundays. When it is important, you make time for it.

Go!!!
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Volunteer work is a great place to meet new people (though, sometimes they are considerably older than you) but overall, I would walk away with at least an acquaintance every time I volunteered to help at the bazaar or the flea market or anything like that.
 
Kristie

I second the idea of joining the young adults group. I recently did this myself. I am slow to make friends and have a hard time openly up to people for fear of rejection. But, I stuck with the group and have had a very busy social schedule for the last couple of months.

I also agree that you should get involved with your parish in some other way. Become part of one of the ministries there. It is a good way to meet people. You will also find that not everyone involved is a “perfect” Catholic.

Diane
 
Twitterpated said:
Kristie

I second the idea of joining the young adults group. I recently did this myself. I am slow to make friends and have a hard time openly up to people for fear of rejection. But, I stuck with the group and have had a very busy social schedule for the last couple of months.

I also agree that you should get involved with your parish in some other way. Become part of one of the ministries there. It is a good way to meet people. You will also find that not everyone involved is a “perfect” Catholic.

Diane
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become part of one of the minisries?that could be instant death for him…
 
Pray to Jesus for one good friend. Then be open to people, even people at the bus stop etc. You can go to places and volunteer, but if this is not your style and I can appreciate that, then say that little prayer to Jesus for one good friend and you will find that in time He will allow you to meet a few people who will be good friends to you and you to them.

In my prayers
 
blessedstar said:
Pray to Jesus for one good friend. Then be open to people, even people at the bus stop etc. You can go to places and volunteer, but if this is not your style and I can appreciate that, then say that little prayer to Jesus for one good friend and you will find that in time He will allow you to meet a few people who will be good friends to you and you to them.

In my prayers
Click to expand...
Right
 
I have this same problem myself, so I volunteer a lot, in church and out of it, to meet people. Plus, I have so much fun volunteering! I volunteer at an old folks home, at a museum and with RCIA. I like that wherever I go, I feel like I know people, even if some of my friends are 93!

I wouldn’t worry too much about having a non-believer boyfriend/husband/whatever. If they give you a hard time, then they are not good friends to start with… that’s my opinion at least. I would think they would be excited that you are getting involved and leading by example.
 
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