How to meet single Catholics

[Cliff_Jumper]

Is salsa dancing anything like the mamba, ramba, or tango? All I can do is those and any other ballroom dances.

 

[bamagirl24]

All in all, seeing many pretty girls the right age, exchanging smiles and short conversations with some of them every day, I still can’t really think of anyone… In fact, given what I see, I am beginning to doubt that “one” exists.Quoit

My friends and I on our way home the other day had a conversation very similar to what you’ve just said, and it was due to our day before experience with the stalker type, desperate single guys that had plagued us at a wedding we went to. I found myself (along with the other girls) wanting to give into that doubt of there really being (our version of )a decent guy out there. I don’t have much positive feed on that for you, but know that others share your same feelings on the matter, and are trying like you to remain hopeful yet content in the settings God has permitted to have them in. I would encourage you to remain strong in pursuing a relationship with Jesus first. Look into our catholic faith more and take some time to really allow our Lord to reveal to you who you are and in what areas He needs you to grow in. A few books that I really have enjoyed are… ‘‘The Temperament God gave you’’ and…’‘Best friends for life’’…and so many others. If you like to read let me know and I’ll write there names. God Bless you brother in Christ and May you find Gods peace.

 

[Belgarion]

Erm. I have more. I could tell and tell. However, I’m not really as proud of that as I used to be and in this particular instance, I will insist it wasn’t a romantic move, although some such thoughts did cross my mind. A beautiful memory. I guess as long as I’m single, I can cherish it when it comes back. Pity I’ll never likely meet the girl again, though.

I’m glad! I mean…the cherishing part…er…You seem to have mixed feelings about it! I guess I can understand that. If I wasn’t attached to anyone in particular, I’d miss something that could have been.
I really hope you meet her again if she was that great!

Such things happen. A poster has recently opened a thread about a situation in which the girl met at a dancing turned out to be married.

Yeah…I saw that. That’s lame…
This girl got a BF right after the dance. She wasn’t dating anyone at the time we were dancing…but she told a friend of mine to tell ME to forget her! lol
oh well, I don’t recall being sad about it. But MAN! For weeks I could do nothing but talk about her!

What were you saying, Lenni?

You punks

Strictly speaking, I have a Master of Laws degree, which does not compare well to American ones, but the superimposition was just too funny.

Do you use a cane like House? lol
I don’t really think you’re like House…though sometimes you sound like him!

I was actually Dr. House for Halloween…lol
hehehe

 

[lenni]

Yeah…I saw that. That’s lame…
This girl got a BF right after the dance. She wasn’t dating anyone at the time we were dancing…but she told a friend of mine to tell ME to forget her! lol
oh well, I don’t recall being sad about it. But MAN! For weeks I could do nothing but talk about her!

well it seems like the only way to belgarion and chevalier’s hearts is through dance!!lolz…
i mean you guys get easily turned on by a girl dancing with you…hmmm…quite peculiar!

 

[Belgarion]

well it seems like the only way to belgarion and chevalier’s hearts is through dance!!lolz…
i mean you guys get easily turned on by a girl dancing with you…hmmm…quite peculiar!

Well…yeah…But that’s not the only thing

Give me a girl who can sing so beautifully that you cry!

Oh wait…

Ah…that’s another one of those things…

 

[Magickman]

Add me to the list of the guys who get easily turned on by a girl dancing with them. Sometimes, embarrassingly so. LOL

Since I can be a little shy, I especially like it, when the girls ask me to dance. To enhance my chances, I stand out by the edge of the dance floor, with a look of longing in my eyes.

Dancing can be extremely romantic, and I must be a romantic, at heart.

Love that old time rock’n’roll.

 

[chevalier]

hold up! i dont have such a problem with slow dancing.I always thought it to be innocent and i dont think its wrong - i just dont like it when slow dancing becomes more of a swaying hug or if the dudes hands are not where there supposed to be.
lolz…anyways, i havent seen people slow dance in years. i mean, the music which comes outta clubs are not usually material for slow dancing. (gee…so which day and age do u guys live in???..lolz, jks)
well, i love salsa…if thats sorta considered slow dance when it isnt to sensual. lolz, but then again, not many guys/girls actually know how to move.

No problem, I’m just teasing Belgarion.

Generally, I have more important philosophical considerations than whether slow dancing is fine or not (thankfully, though I used to be a bigger hair splitter when I had more free time), but the one thing I don’t understand is why strangers need to cling affectionately to other strangers. Maybe I’m a cold bastard, but that’s just weird to me. One hand behind the woman and one together? Any time. Arms around the neck and arms around the waist? Lovely, but with a stranger? Too much unwarranted clinging to my taste.

Salsa is great except I always forget the steps. I can barely remember English waltz.

Is salsa dancing anything like the mamba, ramba, or tango? All I can do is those and any other ballroom dances.

Lol. Believe or not, I do dance tango. Just not so sensually. And provided I actually remember the steps…

My friends and I on our way home the other day had a conversation very similar to what you’ve just said, and it was due to our day before experience with the stalker type, desperate single guys that had plagued us at a wedding we went to.

Poor lads. Obviously poor you for having to put with the kind of behaviour you describe, which you so dislike, but sometimes there’s a short way between a normal guy and the desperate sample you describe. Unless we’re talking about someone who doesn’t bathe and then wonders why he gets no female company, it generally takes a long way for a guy to get there, but once he gets there, then one moment he can be normal or even relaxed, some other moment the desperate side kicks in.

I found myself (along with the other girls) wanting to give into that doubt of there really being (our version of )a decent guy out there. I don’t have much positive feed on that for you, but know that others share your same feelings on the matter, and are trying like you to remain hopeful yet content in the settings God has permitted to have them in. I would encourage you to remain strong in pursuing a relationship with Jesus first. Look into our catholic faith more and take some time to really allow our Lord to reveal to you who you are and in what areas He needs you to grow in. A few books that I really have enjoyed are… ‘‘The Temperament God gave you’’ and…’‘Best friends for life’’…and so many others. If you like to read let me know and I’ll write there names. God Bless you brother in Christ and May you find Gods peace.

Thanks.

 

[chevalier]

I’m glad! I mean…the cherishing part…er…You seem to have mixed feelings about it! I guess I can understand that. If I wasn’t attached to anyone in particular, I’d miss something that could have been.
I really hope you meet her again if she was that great!

Logically speaking, I have no idea. A normal girl with some great traits, and pretty much my exact type physically, if there is such a thing. If I put my head to it, I could come up with tiny hints of red flags and build them into a theory. Realistically, nothing would most likely have followed.

Yeah…I saw that. That’s lame…
This girl got a BF right after the dance. She wasn’t dating anyone at the time we were dancing…but she told a friend of mine to tell ME to forget her! lol

At least you levelled up and got some skill points to distribute.

oh well, I don’t recall being sad about it. But MAN! For weeks I could do nothing but talk about her!

Do tell me. But there always comes a moment when you stop being so obsessive and just give yourself a rest.

Do you use a cane like House? lol

An umbrella. Older than I. Does it count?

I don’t really think you’re like House…though sometimes you sound like him!

Hehe.

I was actually Dr. House for Halloween…lol
hehehe

Well, he is kinda undead.

 

[chevalier]

Bamagirl, it won’t let up edit past 20 minutes. Not to dwell on the desperate guys, nor to keep relating with someone that hurts you with his behaviour, but there is analogy with a bad work situation. Imagine you have excellent education, you have skills, you have experience, but no employer wants you. No ads seem to apply to you and when you send resumes and cover letters, you get no reply except the very few ones that tell you no, thanks. When the same kind of thing happens in someone’s love life, that’s not in any way pleasant. Then their despair looks creepy, and that makes them get even worse response, which only amplifies the despair and so on.

 

[chevalier]

well it seems like the only way to belgarion and chevalier’s hearts is through dance!!lolz…
i mean you guys get easily turned on by a girl dancing with you…hmmm…quite peculiar!

Not true (and I don’t have a big drive anyway). I simply have a problem with the idea of strangers clinging to strangers. Come on, it’s so wishy-washy. Someone one has just first ever seen is not one’s long-lost relative. Further, I have a problem with sexualised moves in any kind of dance, as well as the sensualised and eroticised ways of the modern freestyle. But I look a bit like an anthropologist. I simply look and know it’s a sexual association - a bit like with Freud. And if something looks sexual, then propriety matters also - not only just whether one is actually sexually aroused or not. Dancing between a man and a woman all too often is a figurative depiction of the sexual act.

 

[CWBetts]

I wonder about this too. I’m a 27-year-old girl, and I’ve never dated either. (Yet, I’m hesitant to even mention this, because it seems so unusual!!) Do people consider it strange when you hit a certain age without dating experience??

I’ve been a member of some of the Catholic dating sites for a couple years; nothing so far. I’m going to a “Catholic” college, but, unfortunately, there are few Catholic students in it (and even fewer practicing!!) I joined a large (for this area) parish, but there just aren’t a lot of young people in Vermont!! I’ve never seen a single man in my parish that was under the age of 80.

I’m running out of ideas, lol.

You’re running out of ideas? I’m 37 and the only singles I manage to meet are too young for me! (Being a non-traditional college student might have something to do with it.) Plus I g to a very small parish where everyone reasonalbly closer to my age are already married!

 

[BenM]

It can be pretty hard sometimes finding the right kind of people your own age, especially if you’re like me and can’t imagine having a relationship with someone who isn’t Catholic and serious about their faith. I’m single too, so hopefully God has some people in mind for us somewhere.

Apart from that, I hope I’m not butting into anyones conversation here.

 

[lenni]

Not true (and I don’t have a big drive anyway). I simply have a problem with the idea of strangers clinging to strangers. Come on, it’s so wishy-washy. Someone one has just first ever seen is not one’s long-lost relative. Further, I have a problem with sexualised moves in any kind of dance, as well as the sensualised and eroticised ways of the modern freestyle. But I look a bit like an anthropologist. I simply look and know it’s a sexual association - a bit like with Freud. And if something looks sexual, then propriety matters also - not only just whether one is actually sexually aroused or not. Dancing between a man and a woman all too often is a figurative depiction of the sexual act.

omg please dont bring up freudan theory!! thats like the last thing i want to think about ever since i finished that horrible exam. yes, psychoanalysis and all…ah, i dont want to think about it!

anyways moving forward. NOT all dancing is erotic and oversexualised - including slow dance. I mean - yes your going to get the extremist forms of anything in any type of category. i.e. in music - satanic rock and in some hiphop music. but i wasnt alluding to that in my post. but i do agree in this day and age - people often confuse the sexual act and dancing.In my opinion, i think that type of dancing highlights the desperate nature of a person and their insecurities.

 

[lenni]

No problem, I’m just teasing Belgarion.

Generally, I have more important philosophical considerations than whether slow dancing is fine or not (thankfully, though I used to be a bigger hair splitter when I had more free time), but the one thing I don’t understand is why strangers need to cling affectionately to other strangers. Maybe I’m a cold bastard, but that’s just weird to me. One hand behind the woman and one together? Any time. Arms around the neck and arms around the waist? Lovely, but with a stranger? Too much unwarranted clinging to my taste.

Salsa is great except I always forget the steps. I can barely remember English waltz.

yeah agreed:thumbsup: to much clinginess for moi!!

 

[lenni]

Since I can be a little shy, I especially like it, when the girls ask me to dance. To enhance my chances, I stand out by the edge of the dance floor, with a look of longing in my eyes.

haha…im sorry mate. but plenty of us girls are thinking the same thing. ‘when is he going to ask me to dance?’ lolz…
generally, its not to bad for me - im usually the first one on the floor.

 

[Tudor]

Well I am a single girl in my early twenties too, and I would love for a guy to walk up to me and ask me to get some coffee someday after daily mass. Even if I wasn’t necessarily interested, I probably wouldn’t say no, just because it can be so difficult to meet other devout Catholics who are my own age. Maybe it’s too much to ask though… sigh…

If you are too shy to just walk up to a girl you don’t know, then you could try joining a Bible study or choir or maybe going on a retreat. That way you would have the chance to become friends with some Catholic young people. Personally, I dislike the idea of dating sites, probably because I prefer to talk face to face about serious topics.

Macian, I too am in my early 20s, and I too go to daily Mass. I’m very glad to hear you are too! I didn’t imagine there would be too many out there to whom I could relate, and who are faced with the same situation. It’s encouraging! Let’s keep it up! All the best.

 

[chevalier]

anyways moving forward. NOT all dancing is erotic and oversexualised - including slow dance.

Of course not! But plenty is. Let me show you an example. Waltz pretty much never is, especially English waltz. Rock’n’roll, jive, foxtrot, cha-cha, even samba will generally not be unless someone’s giving up to subconscious longings. However, I mean the classical steps. The kind of dancing which is taught to people nowadays is already flawed. It pretends to be some form of aerobic but the moves often come down to flexing this and shaking that. Actually, this is worse with fast dancing than with slow dancing, even though in slow dancing there’s more body contact.

My point is that moves which are modelled after moves which are either typically a part of sex or are typically made out of arousal, such moves aren’t fine even if no arousal is felt. I would cut all sex-like moves out of all dances especially in schools that teach minors, if it depended on me.

I mean - yes your going to get the extremist forms of anything in any type of category. i.e. in music - satanic rock and in some hiphop music. but i wasnt alluding to that in my post. but i do agree in this day and age - people often confuse the sexual act and dancing.In my opinion, i think that type of dancing highlights the desperate nature of a person and their insecurities.

Lenni, I don’t mean extremists. Most of the dancing today is at least slightly sexualised. And I don’t think we should feel comfortable with “slightly” just because it isn’t “grossly”. It appears to me that most people today, including those who’d never think that their dancing looks in any way improper, just can’t dance in any way that wouldn’t include at least some and at least mild sexual references. Call me a prude, but I just don’t like that. As much as I actually like dancing. Including slow dancing.

However, let me draw a distinction between wishy-washy slow-dancing and sexualised moves - you can have one without having the other. Plenty romantic hugging for a stranger is one thing, sexual references (including light and subconscious) are a different kind of problem.

 

[chevalier]

yeah agreed:thumbsup: to much clinginess for moi!!

Hehe. That’s just what I was talking about. I don’t draw parallels with the sexual stuff. It’s just, you know, strange. Not very warranted, that’s all. But the world would probably be a better place if more people behaved like that rather than being stiff like I am.

haha…im sorry mate. but plenty of us girls are thinking the same thing. ‘when is he going to ask me to dance?’ lolz…
generally, its not to bad for me - im usually the first one on the floor.

Lol! I’m gonna get a stroke. Where are you from? Cuba, the land of rum and cha-cha? I have a lasting trauma from girls not wanting to dance. You have no idea how many times I’ve been refused a dance even though according to the girl that shared office with me, half the company would die for a date (which came as a shock to me). But perhaps life’s different on the other side of the Atlantic.

 

[chevalier]

Well I am a single girl in my early twenties too, and I would love for a guy to walk up to me and ask me to get some coffee someday after daily mass. Even if I wasn’t necessarily interested, I probably wouldn’t say no, just because it can be so difficult to meet other devout Catholics who are my own age. Maybe it’s too much to ask though… sigh…

(Sorry for only replying so late.) Yes, having a coffee with someone is quite a polite thing to do. It’s a bit like a courteous conversation. That’s how I take it, but I generally limit my offers since most people nowadays take it differently. People used to be more no-nonsense. It’s ironic how most people feel almost molested when you suggest a coffee and at the same time most people dance sexy and don’t think it’s too private in any way.

 

[Belgarion]

Geez Chev…I wouldn’t even know where you start replying to you!!

You should write a book! You certainly have enough points!