How to navigate the waters of "Negativity" and "Gossip" in the work place?

[OnlyHeIsHoly]

Hi,

I would like some helpful advice on how to handle gossip on my new job.

I’m working in close area with my co-workers and one thing I’ve noticed is the insistent nature of some to make negative comments and gossip about other co-workers. I know we are all not perfect in our walks in ways. But it is taking a toll on me physically and spiritually. And because it is the majority of conversation in our work area. It seems pretty slanderous to me because it is labeling folks as somethings that I’m pretty sure these people they are talking about are not.
It seems a spirit of unhappiness is in the room and refuses to leave.

I try to initiate conversation to change the subject or even tune it out, but it persists.
I try to role model conversation that is a change of pace but it is not welcomed.

What to do?

Thanks in advance!

 

[CompSciGuy]

I think you should shine like a light among your coworkers. When people try to gossip about other people, change it up by sticking up for that person, i.e. if someone says “That Jerry, he is the laziest guy in this whole place.” You can say “I am sure he is trying. Sometimes this job is harder on some people than on others.” It may take practice, since the answer may be different for different situations. You can also probably, in a gentle, non-judgmental way, call them out on it. In the end I think this approach will convict the people and they will feel bad that they have nothing to talk about but other people, and perhaps it will bring about a change.

 

[sallybutler]

I would also add say the rosary for them. Or some other prayer that helps you concentrate on God thru the Holy Spirit working on their hearts.

On an even more personal level, be the “PollyAnna” in the office. This will probably cause two things to happen. Those who are negative about everything (not just work) may stop bringing this to you because you are not reinforcing their behavior. Those who have been caught up in the behavior will start to view you as a port in the storm.

 

[Prague]

I would put up a sign on my desk saying This Is A No Gossip zone. No Gossiping Allowed!

 

[CompSciGuy]

I would put up a sign on my desk saying This Is A No Gossip zone. No Gossiping Allowed!

This is an amazing idea! I would totally do that.

Really I don’t think there is anything wrong with [gently] rebuking or calling someone out for this sort of thing. If they have any conscience at all they will see that what they are doing is very petty and will stop. I know that I would in that situation. Honestly who cares if they look down on you for that. What are they going to be mad at you for, being nice?

 

[Prague]

Worth a try anyway.

 

[Catholic1954]

I think you should shine like a light among your coworkers. When people try to gossip about other people, change it up by sticking up for that person, i.e. if someone says “That Jerry, he is the laziest guy in this whole place.” You can say “I am sure he is trying. Sometimes this job is harder on some people than on others.” It may take practice, since the answer may be different for different situations. You can also probably, in a gentle, non-judgmental way, call them out on it. In the end I think this approach will convict the people and they will feel bad that they have nothing to talk about but other people, and perhaps it will bring about a change.

I have tried this with mixed results. It did not stop people from gossiping about others, but they did stop doing it around me (eventually) because they knew I would not repeat what I was hearing and I would not add any “juicy” comments of my own when I did hear it. I was on the receiving end of the gossip train many years ago and now make an effort not to mixed up in it again.