How to not take things personally?

[Elena321]

My dad asked me to research for him which is the cheapest Internet company (no small task) so I spent hours comparing plans and writing it up into a chart for him in list form from cheapest to dearest plus each individual companies term and conditions etc.
He seemed happy and chose one and was going to proceed but then he received some brochure which stated some more (but very obscure) small internet companies and because I hadn’t mentioned these/wrote these down,I think he got the impression that maybe I wasn’t able to do a efficient enough job and asked my sister to research the news ones prices further and not me.

I feel a bit hurt and taking it personally and feel like I’m not good enough and like I have to “prove something”.
I would understand if it was that I hadn’t done a good job as not everyone is good at everything-we all have weak areas-but objectively I feel I did a really good (and time consuming) job.

It might seem silly,and obviously not a major issue as there’s much bigger problems in the world,but does anyone have any suggestions how do I not feel hurt this way?

Thanks
Elena

 

[josh987654321]

My dad asked me to research for him which is the cheapest Internet company (no small task) so I spent hours comparing plans and writing it up into a chart for him in list form from cheapest to dearest plus each individual companies term and conditions etc.
He seemed happy and chose one and was going to proceed but then he received some brochure which stated some more (but very obscure) small internet companies and because I hadn’t mentioned these/wrote these down,I think he got the impression that maybe I wasn’t able to do a efficient enough job and asked my sister to research the news ones prices further and not me.

I feel a bit hurt and taking it personally and feel like I’m not good enough and like I have to “prove something”.
I would understand if it was that I hadn’t done a good job as not everyone is good at everything-we all have weak areas-but objectively I feel I did a really good (and time consuming) job.

It might seem silly,and obviously not a major issue as there’s much bigger problems in the world,but does anyone have any suggestions how do I not feel hurt this way?

Thanks
Elena

Maybe he was just trying to even out the load? In any case, you know you did a good job, it doesn’t sound like your getting paid for it, Id say “okay” wish your sister good luck and sit back and relax.

I hope this has helped

God Bless You

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[Monte_RCMS]

Sounds like the story of my life.

Jesus LOVES me. This I know. So, I just reflect back on those times and on those events and the difficulties wither away.

**

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Maybe he was just trying to even out the load?

This was my first thought as well.

OP, you wrote “I think he got the impression that maybe I wasn’t able to do a efficient enough job” - the operative word is “think.” In other words, this is your perception of the situation, but it may not be the reality. You may not actually have reason to “feel a bit hurt and taking it personally and feel like [you’re] not good enough and like [you] have to ‘prove something’.”

I used to be ultra, ultra sensitive. It’s a hard way to exist. Two things helped me move on from this.

First, it’s important not to react to a situation unless I know what’s really going on.

Second, if I don’t know what’s really going on and am not in a position to find out, I pick the best possible scenario and assume that.

Does this work in every instance? No, but in my life it does work for most of them. YMMV.

Over the years I’ve found that life is difficult enough without taking so much that happens to me as a personal affront. 99% of what I used to view as unwarranted criticism or personal attack truly, in the grand scheme of things, doesn’t matter at all. So why should I devote any of my time or energy getting worked up about it?

There are people who indeed come after me with intent to be hurtful. They look for a reaction. I don’t give them the pleasure. Drives them nuts

God bless you, OP. Praying for you

 

[EmeraldOak]

I got some good advice once when I was really hurting to go with what Jesus said from the cross "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”

I have come to understand that most people have no idea of how what they do/say effects us.

 

[Viki63]

Next time don’t spend hours doing research for someone else’s concerns.
You could mention, Gee, I spent 6 (or however many) hours looking into that, I guess I missed that one. Maybe sister can pick up any loose ends.
God bless.

.

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

I think it’s Matthew 13(?) that Jesus says at home a prophet has no honor … or something like this. Those who have seen us blunder and fail have no faith in us. At the same time, we deeply desire to be honored as we accomplish greater responsibilities.

 

[JanetF]

When things like this happen, I usually tell myself, so and so probably didn’t intend that to come out the way it sounded. If It’s important enough I’ll ask for clarification, otherwise, I’m Polyanna and assume the best and move on. Just don’t let your relationship with your siblings be affected. As our parents age, the demands they make on us increases. Keep the lines of communication open and flowing multi-directionally.