How to pray with spouse?

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samovila

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How do you pray with your husband or wife? My husband and I have recently realized that this is lacking in our marriage. We both grew up in families where prayer was done at mealtimes and with children, but never witnessed our parents praying together. He and I attend mass together almost every week. Last night we tried praying together before bedtime, but it felt awkward and lacked purpose and intention. Do you have any suggestions for us to build prayer into our marriage?

I’m sorry in advance if this has been covered here before, but I wasn’t able to find it. (Just try doing a search with the words “pray” and “spouse” and pretty much every thread comes up.)
 
If it hasn’t been part of your marriage until now, it is natural to feel awkward doing it at first. The most important thing is commitment. Set a time to pray together and stick with it. Eventually, it won’t be awkward, but it may take some time to get to that point.
 
It can definitely be awkward at first, but keep at it. You can take turns praying out loud, or have just one of you do it at a time. Pray what you would normally pray about, thanksgiving, adoration, petition, contrition…just outloud. Pray for your marriage and especially ask Mary to increase your devotion to married prayer. Pray together before you leave the house in the morning, and make time in the evening as well. The Rosary is also beautiful when prayed as a couple, you can take turns leading the decades. We like to have one of us read Scripture and then the other one lead prayer. If it feels very forced and you have a hard time with it, you might consider the Divine Office, which you could read together.
 
Funny how it’s awkward to pray with a spouse isn’t it, especially when you’re intimate in every other way;)…but I think most couples if they haven’t started out in dating praying together feel the awkwardness you describe.

How about starting with something short? Or starting with a prayer specifically about marriage? Maybe you could each pick a prayer to a favorite or patron saint and say them bother together? Then again, a simple Hail Mary and and Our Father and Glory Be are simple and wonderful prayers we all know.

I think it’s one of those things that you have to do more to get past the awkwardness.

Here’s a nice marriage prayer

We thank you, O God, for the Love You have implanted in our hearts. May it always inspire us to be kind in our words, considerate of feeling, and concerned for each other’s needs and wishes. Help us to be understanding and forgiving of human weaknesses and failings. Increase our faith and trust in You and may Your Prudence guide our life and love. Bless our Marriage O God, with Peace and Happiness, and make our love fruitful for Your glory and our Joy both here and in eternity.
 
I’m the same as you - although I have no problem praying with anyone, my husband’s not used to it, so it can be awkward when it’s the two of us together. One thing that’s worked for us is praying a novena together. We each pray the same one every day before bed - not out loud, to ourselves - but just the fact that we’re praying for the same intention together helps. 🙂
 
How about praying the rosary together? Here’s another Prayer for Marriage that was given to me recently…

**Heavenly Father, through the intercession of the Holy Family,

Help us treasure the gift of marriage that reflects the love of Christ for the Church,
where the self-giving love of husband and wife unites them more perfectly and cooperates in your plan for new life created in your image.

Help us support men and women in their vocation of marriage, especially in difficult times when they join their sufferings to Christ on the Cross.

Help us uphold the institution of marriage in our society as the place where love is nurtured and family life begins.

Help us acknowledge that our future depends on this love and on your providential care for us.

Amen**
 
A book that was recommended to us by the Deacon’s wife:

“Prayers for Married Couples by Renee Bartkowski”

Only $5.95 through Amazon.com.

I’m ordering ours tonight.
 
I recommend the Liturgy of the Hours. I think you can find the daily prayers online, maybe try googling ‘liturgy of the hours’? But, my new DH and I pray the morning, evening, and night prayers together, and when we can the daytime ones. I work about two hours from home and stay near my job for a chunk of the week (for now, we’re still looking at whether we want me to commute) so we usually only get to do all the prayers on the weekend. There are also specific morning prayers we say together: “Dear Mary I offer you my prayers, works, joys, and sufferings of this day, do thou purify them and offer them up to thy Beloved Son. I am all thine and all that I have is thine, oh most Loving Jesus, through Mary thy Holy Mother.” along with the prayer to our Guardian Angel and the St. Michael’s prayer. We also pray the Rosary together when we are together on the weekends, daily. 👍
 
samovila said:
How do you pray with your husband or wife? Do you have any suggestions for us to build prayer into our marriage?

My wife & I started praying the Memorare on the phone when we started dating. By the time we got married, it was second nature to pray together. Before Bam Bam’s election, we were inspired by Fr Corapi to do a Rosary Novena & since then have prayed a Rosary or Divine Mercy (which only takes a few minutes) almost every day. We also go to Daily Mass often & have started the Divine Office. Sound like a lot? Just remembered it all started w/ one daily prayer; even just some intercessory prayer at bedtime, just start w/ something & keep w/ it!
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this is a good question. My husband and I started a novena to St. Joseph when we put our house up for sale. (btw, it sold, thanks St. Joe! ;)) it felt awkward and fake when we tried to read it together and we seemed to spend more time trying to synchronize than anything. so eventually we quit and continued silently, seperately. I’d like to make it part of our daily lives together too but don’t know how to start. maybe I’ll get that book mentioned earlier.

do those of you who do pray together do it verbally? do you read prayers together or just the ones that you know by heart? does one of you read and one of you listen? thanks
 
just_me said:
this is a good question. My husband and I started a novena to St. Joseph when we put our house up for sale. (btw, it sold, thanks St. Joe! ;)) it felt awkward and fake when we tried to read it together and we seemed to spend more time trying to synchronize than anything. so eventually we quit and continued silently, seperately. I’d like to make it part of our daily lives together too but don’t know how to start. maybe I’ll get that book mentioned earlier.
do those of you who do pray together do it verbally? do you read prayers together or just the ones that you know by heart? does one of you read and one of you listen? thanks
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Every time we travel, we pray a Rosary & a Divine Mercy… hardly ever listen to music anymore!
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just_me said:
do those of you who do pray together do it verbally? do you read prayers together or just the ones that you know by heart? does one of you read and one of you listen? thanks
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DH and I work opposite shifts so we don’t often get to pray together, but when we do we pray outloud. We take turns each day who gets to lead the prayer. Whoever leads chooses the prayer and then the other person gets to add whatever they want at the end. So far we’ve mainly been reciting the Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be and then thanking God for various things and asking for protection for our family. I just found an old prayer book I had around here that I think we’ll start using now, too.
 
My DH and I pray the Rosary together just before going to bed. Now that I’m pregnant, we put the Rosary on my belly and pray. Sometimes, we alternate - praying the rosary to reading from the Bible to just reciting the basic Catholic standard prayers to praying to the Saints. Praying together with my DH is a blessing in itself.

God bless!
 
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