How to receive / not receive the sacraments

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whichwaytogo47

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The sacraments bestow grace and thus make it easier to live a holy life. That said, I am in an interfaith marriage that believes in salvation by faith alone and believer baptism not family infant baptism. We attend both a Dallas Theological Seminary non-denominational & Catholic Church every Sunday. An infant or child before the age of reason shall be baptized because of the stain of original sin. The Bible clearly states you must be born of the water & the spirit and are judged by your works and thus must be baptized. You must walk in the faith and be repentant of your sins to be saved. That said, I did have an encounter with God in a Protestant DTS Church that truly made me value my Catholic faith and not take it for granted anymore.

When I received the sacrament of confirmation at 17 years old, I didn’t receive the sacrament with the correct disposition and thus have always wished that I went thru RCIA. I stopped going to church a year after getting confirmed and didn’t make going to mass a priority in my life from age 18 to 25. I don’t remember my confirmation saint so I have adopted St Michael as my patron saint. I brought Patrick thru RCIA into the Catholic Church in 2013 (his patron saint is St Christopher) to receive Eucharist, Reconciliation, and Confirmation.

I also am aware that my children are validly baptized as Catholics whether they’re baptized in a Catholic Church or baptized in a Protestant Church and than received into the church. I think it’s critically important for them to get the religious formation (CCD) whether they receive the sacraments or not because I want them to have the instruction / disposition to choose the Catholic faith. In other words, I want to raise them Catholic. But if they believe the Eucharist is a symbol, than they should receive communion in the Protestant Church not the Catholic Church. If they believe that the body & blood of Jesus (at their age appropriate level) is in the Eucharist than they are instead to receive communion in the Catholic Church not the Protestant Church.

Thanks so much!
 
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You have posed a lot of issues here! This really requires a sit-down, face-to-face meeting with your Catholic pastor. Please call your parish office and schedule an appointment; he will be able to answer your concerns. God bless you and your family.
 
You can’t waffle on this.
If you are Catholic, they must ONLY be members the Catholic Church.
Do you allow them to decide later if they will attend school? No.

This is where the rubber meets the road.
Choose well.
 
Thanks very much and very blessings. As an adult, it was of my free-will to create this mess. That said, I’m firmly grounded in my Catholic faith and find it very important for my kids to be raised that way.
 
That’s a lot easier said than done. Remember my wife has her own free-will and her ability to believe in what she believes in and have to respect her freedom of choice too. The obligation applies for me to raise them Catholic. As a Christian, I owe her a voice (even if I believe it to be wrong or incorrect) as it is both of our jobs to raise our kids in the Christian faith, preferably the Catholic Christian faith.

I do think the Catholic Church makes the error to not make sure people know they that they are to be properly disposed to receive the sacrament. Getting confirmation and then stop going to Church the next day has no value other than superstition and peer pressure.
 
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Then why are you going to some other place?
I guess I don’t understand
 
Because as the male leader, I am to aide her to walk in her spiritual life.

Even if I decide to become a Catholic Deacon which I cannot start to discern till next year, I’d be required to attend the Protestant Church services with her and make sure she lived her faith in an ideal way. She must also assent to my becoming a Deacon which surprisingly she has. It doesn’t mean that is the walk I will choose - there’s a lot of growth we have to do as a marriage couple before that it to be considered. And this can include participating and volunteering with her to encourage her walk with Christ. It’s definitely not as ideal as persuading her to become Catholic and of course the kids, but it is my responsibility as a spiritual leader to walk with her. The biggest honor was having the Catholic deacon be able to be the officiant at our wedding at her childhood Methodist Church. We had a dispensation that made it a true valid sacramental Catholic marriage. I intend to honor that commitment I made to raise them Catholic, but there’s definitely not an understanding of the complexities of an interfaith marriage and the true legitimate free-will of the parents and consequently the children too.

There’s a difference between following her into the church and living her reality and truly learning how to lead despite her worldview. To have true genuine respect for her beliefs and be a guiding light of what it means to be a solid faithful Catholic Christian.
 
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When you baptized your children in the Catholic Faith, did she not promise to not stand in the way of their faith? Surely you know that a united front is the way to keep children practicing.
I know plenty of people that “let their kids decided for themselves” and NONE of them have any sort of faith based beliefs. None. It’s a fallacy to think that children should not be influenced in their formative years.
“raise up a child…” remember?

No other Church has the Sacraments.
No other Church has Apostolic succession.
No other Church has valid ministers and therefore no Eucharist.
 
The Formation program will likely turn you down if she is not a practicing Catholic.
This happened with a dear friend of mine.
Again, united front.
If you cannot make a compelling argument to her, how will your preach?

Anyway, calling @(name removed by moderator) for (name removed by moderator)ut.
I’ll bow out now.
 
They’re not baptized yet in the faith. You’re correct. No other church has the sacrament of Confession or a valid Eucharist. We’re about a year away from attempting to have children.
 
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Tulitas said:
The Formation program will likely turn you down if she is not a practicing Catholic.

This happened with a dear friend of mine.

Again, united front.

If you cannot make a compelling argument to her, how will your preach?

Anyway, calling @(name removed by moderator) for (name removed by moderator)ut.

I’ll bow out now.
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Oh okay. I agree. I have seen in my archdiocese that my wife has to participate in the Catholic prayers and retreats along with me.

For the children, I am hoping I can find a CCD that will accept our interfaith situation. Their faith formation is critically important to me and it’s important for me to participate in CCD as well as children’s liturgy. That can at least as an adult help them decide to go thru RCIA.
 
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Any of them will.
That’s not nearly the issue.
But the kids can’t go back and forth.
 
Tulitas said:
Any of them will.

That’s not nearly the issue.

But the kids can’t go back and forth.
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There’s too many fall-away Catholics for the confusion argument to have any merit.

My archdiocese appears to approve applications but requires that you have a model family and for both of you to attend a retreat together each year. For a non-Catholic, my wife would definitely be out of place.

It requires the affirm and unwavering support of your spouse. The consent is very strong to become a Deacon. Also, she must live her Christian faith with the most ideal - i.e. being a member of her Church, volunteering, and excellent social standing.
 
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That only reinforces the argument, actually.
Hopping around? Confusion, and the message that it doesn’t really matter. Recipe for disaster.
 
Tulitas said:
That only reinforces the argument, actually.

Hopping around? Confusion, and the message that it doesn’t really matter. Recipe for disaster.
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There can be an understanding that Jesus founded the Catholic Christian faith but that different Christian denominations that broke away during the schism will have their own beliefs and ignorance because of what they’re taught and not taught. Diversity of opinion doesn’t have to be confusing.
 
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So why would you choose that? I’m trying to understand your argument for allowing them to choose. We have to guide our children. Sounds like you just think that they will come to faith on their own.
That’s kind of like putting the groceries on the top shelf and saying “if they get hungry enough, they’ll find the food”. LOL
 
Tulitas said:
So why would you choose that? I’m trying to understand your argument for allowing them to choose. We have to guide our children. Sounds like you just think that they will come to faith on their own.

That’s kind of like putting the groceries on the top shelf and saying “if they get hungry enough, they’ll find the food”. LOL
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You bring up some great points. As parents, we are responsible for the faith formation of our children. It’s definitely important that we live out our Christian faith to our kids. It’s definitely vital to model behavior for our children so they can learn. More is caught than taught (i.e. more of our actions are copied than what we say). Thanks so much for helping me. Unfortunately, though I belong to a men’s Catholic group, I don’t feel the same emotional support in my spiritual walk as I do in my wife’s church in making sure you stay on that walk. What really kept me on my spiritual walk in the Catholic Church is the Eucharist and Holy Spirit not other people. Unfortunately, it’s hard to articulate the power of the Eucharist in living true charity & obedience.

Access to the sacraments offers a great grace to live in your faith. That said, I have a lot of trouble believing that all people who receive the sacrament have the correct disposition. Many people receive it thru peer pressure and superstition and don’t have the true benefit of the correct disposition. The sacraments bestow grace but aren’t they only supposed to be received if an individual has the ability to understand how they must live their life to be in congruence with the sacrament. At 17, I definitely questioned my disposition for the sacrament. I definitely wish I had a better understanding of the faith and the importance of the Holy Spirit for salvation and for bestowing grace before receiving the sacrament. I didn’t understand that the Holy Spirit bestowed grace and that I needed to both surrender and be obedient, things I understand and accept now.

Many hugs. We receive the Holy Spirit in baptism. We receive the Holy Spirit in confirmation. We have the Holy Spirit when we encounter Jesus. We have the Holy Spirit when we pray. The Holy Spirit gives us the strength to do works and to truly live a Holy life; it is impossible to lead a Holy life without the Holy Spirit’s grace. As you mention, you cannot do anything yourself and must rely on the Holy Spirit to truly live in the faith. Faith, hope, and charity is the way to live your Catholic life thru the power of the Spirit.
 
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DRE here.

The Holy Spirit sorts it out.
We’re kidding ourselves if we assume we do ALL the heavy lifting ourselves.
We just have to be OPEN, and faithful.

Good luck on your possible vocation.
 
Thank you. The Holy Spirit does sort it out! The Holy Spirit has blessed me in ways I cannot even imagine. He’s definitely brought me to the faith where I didn’t deserve it and where I walked away thru my own fault and disobedience. He brought me thru the rebellion and helped me thru idolatry. I still struggle with idolatry as the computer is on or the TV is on but the Bible is not opened. I’m not at daily adoration praising God for dying for my sins. And when I go, I usually stay 10 minutes. That’s hardly appreciative of the gift of Heaven he gave all of us in atonement for our sins. I’m not yet doing the Liturgy of the Hours on a consistent basis which is secondary only to the Holy Mass. I surely don’t go to daily mass and I struggle to complete novenas and religious fasts.

I definitely feel bad that I have a lot more faith formation to do before I even consider being a Deacon. My discernment now would say I am not ready nor am close to ready. If I do have the call, the Holy Spirit will prepare me to make the discernment and truly have the faith formation to do a good discernment. I definitely admire the work Permanent Deacons do and the calling from the Holy Spirit for those who are ordained as Deacons. I think I must live the life of someone who’s ordained before it’s reasonable to even discern that calling. I can be a holy layperson just as I can be a holy Deacon, something that the great deceiver tries to make you believe is impossible. The devil definitely tries to distract me and say that it’s only important for priests and deacons to pray often. The Holy Spirit can help me live a faithful life and perform His works.

Thanks so much for your kind help. Sometimes just living in the faith can be a struggle and I don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t for the Holy Spirit’s help. Maybe that’s the example I can give to my wife.
 
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