Doubtfire,
I had to chuckle when you mentioned researching for hours. I am so much like that, and when I am researching a topic, I feel like I can āwasteā time by spending too much of it on searching on the internet. I never looked at it as an OCD trait, but I recognize it as a problem.
I had a period where I had some new age beliefs. It started with a medium that I saw on tv. I was quite conflicted with what I believed. I always had a nagging feeling in the back of my head, what it they are wrong. I am a cradle catholic, and stopped attending church when I graduated high school It was more out of laziness, and I wanted live according to the world. Then, when I had my children, I sent them to catholic schools,and attended church, again. I just went through the motions, giving my children the foundation that I had. Once they were older, I quit going to church, again.
Then, I went through a phase, wondering if I should join a non-denominational church. I was re-married without annulments. I did not believe that I should have to get an annulment.
I know it is confusing with so many religions out there. it would be great, if we only had one religion. Now, I believe that I am in the right religion.
Fast forward, to my mother getting sick, and me being her caregiver. I started taking her to Eucharistic Adoration, and went faithfully about every week. I found myself believing things that I never have. Now, I believe in pretty much all of Catholic beliefs, and some things that I question, I accept, and want to believe. I really believe that sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament weekly, strengthened my Catholic beliefs, and started understanding more. I never saw a problem with contraception, but now I believe and accept the churchās teaching.
I would recommend attending a private adoration and talk to a priest when you are ready. Welcome home.