How to Stop a Wedding

  • Thread starter Thread starter Tosk
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
T

Tosk

Guest
Sorry if this has been asked before but how do I go about stopping a wedding? For example, if you know that one of the parties is still married and the wedding is going to be a catholic ceremony. Do I just contact the priest or do I wait until the middle of the ceremony and burst through the door like the movies? 🙂 Has anyone ever tried to stop a wedding and if so how did it turn out? Long story short my brother who was recently married was involved in a accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down. His young bride left him about 2 months after the accident and is now getting remarried a little under a year later. She isn’t catholic but her fiance is. Do I have enough cause to stop this thing and should I really try, or just let it go? I’m sure everybody will think I’m just being vindictive. 🤷
 
You can contact the pastor at the parish where the wedding would take place.
 
Spirithound said:
You can contact the pastor at the parish where the wedding would take place.
Click to expand...
That is what I figured but I am still worried. What if she finds out that I did it and it starts a really big mess? Am I morally obliged to tell the priest or do I have a choice? I don’t want my brother to have to deal with her anymore and I’m worried she might start the annulment process.
 
Why would you worry if she starts the annulment process? She would be doing your brother a favor. Do they have a civil divorce? If not she is not free to marry and should be stopped. If they have been divorced, then she is husband #2’s problem.
 
If your brother and this woman were married in the Catholic Church, her next attempt at marriage will be invalid. I think you should tell the priest. He will be discreet, and will definitely be able to bring this up in the normal course of marriage prep. You will not be named. Please do not fear a decree of nullity, it would be a blessing to your brother also.
 
If this woman and her new “fiance” intend to marry in the Catholic Church, and she is still married to another man, then I do believe that you have the moral obligation to tell the priest. The priest will not name you; all he will have to do is contact the parish where she and your brother were married to find this information to be true. The marriage certificate will speak for itself.

I struggle, too, with worrying about causing a ruckus, or what people think of me. I have recently come to believe that those feelings and thoughts are Satan tempting me and capitalizing on my predisposed weaknesses. Your heart begs to live in and to know the Truth. Anything that is trying to keep you from that can only be evil.

And, if you are worried about only doing this to be vindictive, I guess that is something you need to work out. In reality though, you will save this woman from sinning and the “fiance” from and invalid marriage. Do what is right!

Melissa
 
Are you sure they are getting married in the Catholic church?

If they are then I am curious as to how the priest at the particular parish is handling the situation. I mean when people come to a church to get married, doesn’t the priest have to fill in paperwork to the diocese to see if they have been married before?

If the priest doesn’t know then your former sister in law could be ignorant of the rules (even her catholice “fiancee” could be too) or they are lying to the priest.

If I am not mistaken this is why we have (or had) marriage banns. I think you need to contact the priest of the parish they are getting married at.

If they are not getting married in a Catholic church then all bets are off anyways because almost all non-catholic churches recognise civil divorces.
 
It is your moral obligation to contact the priest where the wedding will take place, with evidence. If you prefer, your own pastor can make this contact for you. Parties to a Catholic wedding are obliged to present affidavits of free status as part of their preparation. Either the pastor slipped up or one of the parties is lying, deliberately or in ignorance. If she has already obtained an annulment your brother would have been informed.
 
Dicerning said:
Are you sure they are getting married in the Catholic church?

If they are then I am curious as to how the priest at the particular parish is handling the situation. I mean when people come to a church to get married, doesn’t the priest have to fill in paperwork to the diocese to see if they have been married before?

If the priest doesn’t know then your former sister in law could be ignorant of the rules (even her catholice “fiancee” could be too) or they are lying to the priest.

If I am not mistaken this is why we have (or had) marriage banns. I think you need to contact the priest of the parish they are getting married at.
If they are not getting married in a Catholic church then all bets are off anyways because almost all non-catholic churches recognise civil divorces.
Click to expand...
My friend, raised Catholic with all the trappings, didn’t know that she couldn’t marry a divorced man without him getting an annulment. She found this out, in a religion course at her Catholic university, about 6 weeks before her wedding. He wasn’t Catholic and somehow his previous marriage, to a Catholic in the Church, had not come up in the pre-nup investigation.

Providentially, it appears that his ex had already petitioned for a decree of nullity without his knowledge because the decree appeared in his mailbox a few weeks after my friend told her pastor about the prior marriage and he told her not to worry, he’d take care of it.
 
Tosk said:
Sorry if this has been asked before but how do I go about stopping a wedding? For example, if you know that one of the parties is still married and the wedding is going to be a catholic ceremony. Do I just contact the priest or do I wait until the middle of the ceremony and burst through the door like the movies? 🙂 Has anyone ever tried to stop a wedding and if so how did it turn out? Long story short my brother who was recently married was involved in a accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down. His young bride left him about 2 months after the accident and is now getting remarried a little under a year later. She isn’t catholic but her fiance is. Do I have enough cause to stop this thing and should I really try, or just let it go? I’m sure everybody will think I’m just being vindictive. 🤷
Click to expand...
I would contact the parish or diocese where the wedding is to take place in and let them know what you know. If possible offer to send documentation the nome of parish where the original Marriage took place 14 months ago, copy of the Marriage certificate, etc.
 
Tosk said:
That is what I figured but I am still worried. What if she finds out that I did it and it starts a really big mess? Am I morally obliged to tell the priest or do I have a choice? I don’t want my brother to have to deal with her anymore and I’m worried she might start the annulment process.
Click to expand...
He will not stop the wedding just on your word, he will locate the records of the original Marriage and see if there has been an Annulment process. Then he would simply explain to the Catholic party that the records show that she was Married in a Catholic Church 14 months ago and is not free to Marry again.
 
\What if she finds out that I did it and it starts a really big mess? \

**And what’s the worst thing she (your sister-in-law) could do to you?

Will it take a dollar out of your pocket, or an hour off your life?

If she annoys, harrasses, or threatens you, you can always get a restraining order.**
 
Dicerning said:
Are you sure they are getting married in the Catholic church?

If they are then I am curious as to how the priest at the particular parish is handling the situation. I mean when people come to a church to get married, doesn’t the priest have to fill in paperwork to the diocese to see if they have been married before?

If the priest doesn’t know then your former sister in law could be ignorant of the rules (even her catholice “fiancee” could be too) or they are lying to the priest.

If I am not mistaken this is why we have (or had) marriage banns. I think you need to contact the priest of the parish they are getting married at.

If they are not getting married in a Catholic church then all bets are off anyways because almost all non-catholic churches recognise civil divorces.
Click to expand...
No, I am not sure they are getting married in a catholic church. She came over the other day with her wedding ring and some other things from the wedding and told everybody that she was getting remarried. I didn’t have a chance to talk to her and I wasn’t thinking straight. The only thing I said to her was, ever heard of a post office?

All I know is that her fiance is catholic but I am just assuming that they are going to get married according to catholic form. I really might be assuming too much though. Honestly she is really ignorant of the Catholic faith so she might just tell the priest herself about her previous marriage and just be really unpleasantly surprised.
 
bpbasilphx said:
\What if she finds out that I did it and it starts a really big mess? \

**And what’s the worst thing she (your sister-in-law) could do to you?

Will it take a dollar out of your pocket, or an hour off your life?

If she annoys, harrasses, or threatens you, you can always get a restraining order.**
Click to expand...
I would really welcome a big fight with her but I’m trying to think of everybody else.
 
The best thing to do is to speak with the priest at her parish. You will, of course, need to be able to supply some proof of the prior marriage.

Some years ago I heard of a situation somewhat similar - in this case, the groom had been married in a Protestant church (I do not remember if he was Catholic). When, some time later, he and a Catholic woman were making arrangements to get married, he told the priest he had never been married.

It was his mother that went to the priest and took with her the photo album she had of his previous marriage that included pictures of the wedding ceremony and also of the bridal party, including her - the mother of the groom.

That put a screeching halt to the arrangements for the wedding that was being planned.

Far better to deal with such a situation early than to leave it to the wedding day!!
 
It is important that you act. You could go to the pastor and ask him if he will keep your name out of anything that occurs, and if he did not assure you, you could leave. If she is attempting marriage in a Protestant church, you should still act, because she still is moving to destory the life of the person she is attempting marriage with, since both that church and state would consider it bigamy and his purported wife could end up in jail and he would realize that he has no wife–and their children if they have some would have been born outside of marrige and end with no family.
 
You should say something to the pastor.

I agree that it may turn out that there are other things going on that you were not told, and that all the paperwork and nullity stuff has already been taken care of. But you can’t trust to that absolutely.

That said, you probably should have asked the person you know about the rest of the story first.
 
I am the mother of the bride. My daughter has been in and out of a relationship with an Italian American first born USA man. He bought a house three doors away from where his parents live. The last time she broke the engagement she moved into a condo, Three weeks after the break my youngest daughter got engaged and bought a house. The oldest was upset and got re-engaged to the same man and moved their wedding date up seven weeks ahead of my youngeset.
The oldest daughter and her fiance fight a lot. He wants her not talking to me but he is to stay in touch with his family regularly. His mother wants to control the wedding plans and shower plans. He stands by his parents and not my daughter. My daughter has a great job and he owns a family concrete business. He has made comments about her quiting her job to run his business and she would get paid through the family business. I feel he wants her to be like his mother, dependent on him, his business and have no independence.
I am afraid he will get her to quite her job, he will work on deflating her self esteem, control her and have her their for his family business.
My daughter is smart, beautiful and really doesn’t need him. He and his family do have money and buy her expensive things. HELP!
 
Tosk said:
Sorry if this has been asked before but how do I go about stopping a wedding? For example, if you know that one of the parties is still married and the wedding is going to be a catholic ceremony. Do I just contact the priest or do I wait until the middle of the ceremony and burst through the door like the movies? 🙂 Has anyone ever tried to stop a wedding and if so how did it turn out? Long story short my brother who was recently married was involved in a accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down. His young bride left him about 2 months after the accident and is now getting remarried a little under a year later. She isn’t catholic but her fiance is. Do I have enough cause to stop this thing and should I really try, or just let it go? I’m sure everybody will think I’m just being vindictive. 🤷
Click to expand...
You must inform the priest but would have to provide some proof as he won’t simply take your word for it. He would then follow up and look into the situation.

If you do not inform him then you are cooperating not only in a sin of grave matter but also a crime (bigamy).
 
If
  • your brother and his wife were married in a Catholic Church
  • your sister in law is to be marry in Catholic Church
  • and she did not went through the annulment process
(this later is likely, that process usually takes more than a year)

then you must contact the pastor of the parish that she has valid marriage, asking him to investigate the case.

In the good old time during the marriage ceremony there was a question if anyone has anything against that marriage, to care about abusive cases. Still better not to make public harassment, that resolves nothing.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top