They believe that if they are good, giving, and caring, that they will get happiness, love and fulfillment in return.
Good, giving and caring is what we all should be anyway. Happiness, love and fulfilment is what heaven is about, and being a good, giving and caring person has something to do with getting there, doesn’t it?
They offer to do things for a girl they hardly know that they wouldn’t normally do for just anybody else they know.
Don’t do that, or at least not just so that that girl would like you. If there are other reasons, such as being genuinely a gentleman (which is not the same as being a doormat or a lap dog), especially helping someone who is need, then why not.
Don’t allow any fear of appearing weak to prevent you from being genuinely helpful and kind.
They avoid conflict by withholding their opinions or even become agreeable with her when they don’t actually agree.
Don’t do that. Definitely don’t. On the other hand, learn how to express different opinions, even radically, completely different opinions, in a charitable and respectful way.
Don’t try to be overly inclusive in the choice of someone you just might spend the rest of your days with. Consider whether a relationship with a girl with incompatible views, especially incompatible with the views of the Catholic Church as a whole and not just your own, is a viable possibility. Saint Paul says not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, and this is the context in which he means it.
They try to fix and take care of her problems, they are drawn to trying to help.
Don’t be a Cophethua, sure. Don’t use a girl to cure or pander to your own saviour complex. Don’t develop a shining armour fetish.
Still help people and make sacrifices for them. People may
laugh at that, but God will
smile at you — notice the difference.
They seek approval from others.
Everybody does, except sociopaths.
And that’s a good thing because 5, 10 or 20 people have more knowledge and experience and bra(name removed by moderator)ower than 1. This is what family or society is meant for, among other things.
Just don’t get too dependent, controlled from the outside etc. Recognize your own responsibility for your actions.
They try to hide their perceived flaws and mistakes.
Everybody does. Be honest but don’t be blunt in an obnoxious sort of way.
For the record, expect others to be at least a little critical of your flaws — that’s good, they help you get better, if they keep it to health limits. Unconditional affirmation is ACLU, not RCC.
They are always looking for the “right” way to do things.
Only an idiot looks for a wrong way to do things. This said, be yourself — but this means acting on your good values and aspirations, not on your flaws and vices — rather than stupidly trying to please others and do things the way you expect might please them. Don’t be a superficial pleaser.
They tend to analyze rather than feel.
That’s called having a brain. Men are not meant to be crying pansies. Men are meant to
solve problems. Preferably not always by moving straight to smashing things, which means analysis is necessary.
For the record, people who have no feelings whatsoever but see human relationships only in an analytical light are sociopaths, and they are not nice people.
They have difficulty making their needs a priority.
Any decent person has.
Since when are we supposed to prioritize our needs over those of others or over our obligations?
They are often emotionally dependent on their partner.
That’s precisely what friends and loved ones are for, within limits.
Liberals may love sex without emotional dependencies, but there’s no happiness to be found in that sort of thing.
On a final note, I didn’t have the time to read the whole article below this initial list, but it does seem the author has a lot of his priorities straight, e.g. from: ‘You can be a gentleman without being a pushover.’ Focus on the longer version before inferring too much from captions, headlines etc.
Okay, one more: Don’t make too much of the claims of secular therapists, especially when they begin to be hard to reconcile with what Catholic morality or Catholic social wisdom would seem to suggest. And definitely where it no longer suggests but outright, specifically, categorically says so. Paul the Apostle > Josh the Therapist.
