How to Stop Girls From Flirting With You?

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Melodeonist

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There’s a young woman at work who just won’t leave me alone. Sure, I don’t mind talking, I love talking. However, I am afraid she likes me. It’s kind of annoying because I just like her as a friend.

I am not interested in dating anyone. Yes, I am attracted to women, but no I don’t want to deal with that kind of stuff as I know I do not want to get married and I think intimate stuff related to marriage absolutely disgusting. I would be happiest being single or being a priest. I also know I would be miserable being married because I hate making compromises in my personal life.

What should I do to convince her to stop flirting with me? Thanks! 👍
 
Melodeonist said:
There’s a young woman at work who just won’t leave me alone. Sure, I don’t mind talking, I love talking. However, I am afraid she likes me. It’s kind of annoying because I just like her as a friend.

I am not interested in dating anyone. I don’t want to deal with that kind of stuff as I know I do not want to get married and** I think it’s absolutely disgusting.** I would be happiest being single or being a priest. I know I would be miserable being married because I hate making compromises in my personal life.

What should I do to convince her to stop flirting with me? Thanks! 👍
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I have no idea how to say this in such a way that you would be willing to hear it, but I’ve noticed that you post a lot about not only scruples but also social problems. The bolded is worrying and not in line with Catholic teaching. You don’t have to want to get married, but if you think marriage is gross, then you’re not cut out to be a priest. Priests typically minister to married people and have to deal with a lot of marriage issues. That attitude is just not going to fly.

(Also, priests give up a lot to serve their bishops or other superior if they’re not a diocesan priest. You don’t get to choose where you work, for example.)

I think some in-person help for your social skills would be best, because such a person could guide you in a way that’s likely to work for you. I really think counseling would be the best option. That could probably help with the scruples, too - maybe call up your parish office and they could offer a referral to someone Catholic or Catholic-friendly.
 
pensmama87 said:
I have no idea how to say this in such a way that you would be willing to hear it, but I’ve noticed that you post a lot about not only scruples but also social problems. The bolded is worrying and not in line with Catholic teaching. You don’t have to want to get married, but if you think marriage is gross, then you’re not cut out to be a priest. Priests typically minister to married people and have to deal with a lot of marriage issues. That attitude is just not going to fly.

(Also, priests give up a lot to serve their bishops or other superior if they’re not a diocesan priest. You don’t get to choose where you work, for example.)

I think some in-person help for your social skills would be best, because such a person could guide you in a way that’s likely to work for you. I really think counseling would be the best option. That could probably help with the scruples, too - maybe call up your parish office and they could offer a referral to someone Catholic or Catholic-friendly.
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I’m sorry, but I disagree. I don’t believe I have any social issues as people always are saying I’m very friendly. I don’t think marriage is disgusting, I think certain acts that some married people perform are disgusting. 🤷
 
Melodeonist said:
I’m sorry, but I disagree. I don’t believe I have any social issues as people always are saying I’m very friendly. I don’t think marriage is disgusting, I think certain acts that married people perform are disgusting. 🤷
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Unfortunately, this misses the point. (Those “certain acts,” if I’m assuming your meaning correctly, are what enables us to become co-creators with God in bringing forth new life. So I’d consider what those acts mean to Him, not so much what they mean to you, before you call them “disgusting.”)

You post all the time - is this a sin? Is that a sin? Over tiny, tiny minutiae. But in your OP you admitted to a huge sin - selfishness. And you just accept that as fine. No matter your calling, God does not want you mired in your own selfishness. It limits your ability to love and honor Him, and prevents you from true freedom.

The situation you’ve posted about is a common thing that happens to almost everyone in every day life. Either the person is actually flirting, or they’re just really friendly and don’t realize the impression they’re making. It should be sufficient to say, “I don’t know if this is what you mean to do, but I’m getting the impression you’re interested in dating me, and if that’s the case I just want to let you know that I’m not interested in dating anyone.” If she says she wasn’t trying to flirt, don’t argue with her - she may be truthful, or she may just be saving face. Just let it go at that.

Please consider how your words could be read and heard by other people. That doesn’t mean falling over yourself as a people pleaser, but I think you are not particularly aware of how you come off to others. Anyone can be “friendly” but that’s not enough to form loving, mutually satisfying relationships (including with family and friends.)

God bless you.
 
What does the conversation sound like when she is flirting?

My answer depends on that.
 
Melodeonist said:
I’m sorry, but I disagree. I don’t believe I have any social issues as people always are saying I’m very friendly.
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If you didn’t have any social issues, you would not be on here asking some of the things you do all the time.

If she is flirting, so be it. Be flattered. But that doesn’t mean you need to say anything about dating unless she brings it up. Quite honestly, as another poster said, unless we know what she is saying, we don’t know if she is flirting or if you are just misinterpreting things.
 
:bigyikes::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Seriously?

You JUST posted about how you love to talk and talk and talk…and now you’re upset because someone talks to you, instead of just listening.
Like here.

talk talk talk

Listening?
Not so much.

Listen to pensmama. Her advice is SPOT.ON.
 
Melodeonist said:
There’s a young woman at work who just won’t leave me alone. Sure, I don’t mind talking, I love talking. However, I am afraid she likes me. It’s kind of annoying because I just like her as a friend.

I am not interested in dating anyone. Yes, I am attracted to women, but no I don’t want to deal with that kind of stuff as I know I do not want to get married and I think intimate stuff related to marriage absolutely disgusting. I would be happiest being single or being a priest. I also know I would be miserable being married because I hate making compromises in my personal life.

What should I do to convince her to stop flirting with me? Thanks! 👍
Click to expand...
Under no circumstance should you join the Priesthood. The very fact that you write you would hate making compromises in your personal life is an indication you would make a lousy priest. I have never meet a good priest that didnt compromise his personal life
 
philipl said:
Under no circumstance should you join the Priesthood. The very fact that you write you would hate making compromises in your personal life is an indication you would make a lousy priest. I have never meet a good priest that didnt compromise his personal life
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I agree. That and the fact that you post numerous, multiple, repeating threads due to your lack of understanding of Catholicism.
 
I feel she is flirting because she seems overly interested in me. Yesterday she did indeed bring up the subject of girlfriends but seemed to be hinting things. I told her something along the lines that I am not interested in having a girlfriend or getting married and that I am perfectly content being single.

Also, I fail to see how I’m being selfish. Since when is not wanting to get married selfish? I do enjoy hearing what people say just as much as I like talking. I don’t enjoy when people try to flirt with me.

Yes, we are supposed to be open to marriage, but that doesn’t mean you have to actively look for a girlfriend. 🤷
 
Melodeonist said:
I feel she is flirting because she seems overly interested in me. Yesterday she did indeed bring up the subject of girlfriends but seemed to be hinting things. I told her something along the lines that I am not interested in having a girlfriend or getting married and that I am perfectly content being single.

Also, I fail to see how I’m being selfish. Since when is not wanting to get married selfish? I do enjoy hearing what people say just as much as I like talking. I don’t enjoy when people try to flirt with me.
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Okay, so you said you are not interested. What is the problem?

You like to talk, but want to be in charge of everyone else’s conversation? You are annoyed by her flirting? Again, be flattered, and make small talk. No one is saying you have to date her, but you can be kind and not hurt her feelings.
 
Melodeonist said:
There’s a young woman at work who just won’t leave me alone. Sure, I don’t mind talking, I love talking. However, I am afraid she likes me. It’s kind of annoying because I just like her as a friend.

I am not interested in dating anyone. Yes, I am attracted to women, but no I don’t want to deal with that kind of stuff as I know I do not want to get married and I think intimate stuff related to marriage absolutely disgusting. I would be happiest being single or being a priest.** I also know I would be miserable being married because I hate making compromises in my personal life.**

What should I do to convince her to stop flirting with me? Thanks! 👍
Click to expand...
This is the selfish part.

God calls us to sacrifice all for Him. Nobody’s saying you have to get married. But you do have to be kind to others and recognize the goodness in vocations including those that aren’t yours. Words like “disgusting” have no place there.

Refusing to learn, refusing to compromise, refusing to sacrifice is not a sure path to Heaven, not by a long shot.

Instead of focusing on yourself, you need to think about how to serve others. Every Christian is called to that.
 
Are you sure she’s not just being friendly? If you love to talk, and you talk to her a lot, there’s a good chance that she’s simply reciprocating. If she’s used to you acting friendly talking to her, there’s no real reason why she shouldn’t be friendly and initiate conversations back. I think that maybe you should consider the impression you’re giving to her, to see if there’s anything you may be doing that leads her to flirt with you.

I will say though, as other posters have said, is that you need to be able to compromise. Regardless of whether you wish to marry, compromising is a massive part of friendships, family, everyday situations and at your job. It’s an important life skill to have, because it makes sure you are not selfish, and that you have understanding and respect for others.

Lou
 
Melodeonist said:
There’s a young woman at work who just won’t leave me alone. Sure, I don’t mind talking, I love talking. However, I am afraid she likes me. It’s kind of annoying because I just like her as a friend.

I am not interested in dating anyone. Yes, I am attracted to women, but no I don’t want to deal with that kind of stuff as I know I do not want to get married and I think intimate stuff related to marriage absolutely disgusting. I would be happiest being single or being a priest. I also know I would be miserable being married because I hate making compromises in my personal life.

What should I do to convince her to stop flirting with me? Thanks! 👍
Click to expand...
Look at how many times you you the word I in your post. I want this, I want that how do I get what I want, and this is the way I want things done.

Pray. Be open what God wants you to do. You state that you are interested in the priesthood. By your own admission this is at least partly because marry life seems to disgust you. That isn’t the the right reason to become a priest.

Ask God for some guidance on your perspective on the value of others.
 
Melodeonist said:
There’s a young woman at work who just won’t leave me alone. Sure, I don’t mind talking, I love talking. However, I am afraid she likes me. It’s kind of annoying because I just like her as a friend.

I am not interested in dating anyone. Yes, I am attracted to women, but no I don’t want to deal with that kind of stuff as I know I do not want to get married and I think intimate stuff related to marriage absolutely disgusting. I would be happiest being single or being a priest. I also know I would be miserable being married because I hate making compromises in my personal life.

What should I do to convince her to stop flirting with me? Thanks! 👍
Click to expand...
She may have a crush on you. Also cat-mouse play is fun for girls sometimes. A women discovers the power of their appearance and charm which is naturally used in competition with other women, to secure the best father for their future children. This may not be excessive.

She will likely leave you alone if she is not having fun anymore.
 
Some people are simply not called to marriage and that’s fine. Some people are not interested in certain acts, and that’s fine.

I hope that in time you can overcome your difficulty in making compromises in your personal life. This doesn’t mean you have to force yourself to date or get married, but in general compromises are healthy. I used to be very stubborn, but a new relationship taught me how to sacrifice for your loved ones. These loved ones don’t have to be girlfriends, wives, etc.

If you enjoy talking to her, then there’s nothing wrong. If she asks you out, you politely say no and you’re not interested in dating or relationships at the moment. The end.
 
pensmama87 said:
This is the selfish part.

God calls us to sacrifice all for Him. Nobody’s saying you have to get married. But you do have to be kind to others and recognize the goodness in vocations including those that aren’t yours. Words like “disgusting” have no place there.

Refusing to learn, refusing to compromise, refusing to sacrifice is not a sure path to Heaven, not by a long shot.

Instead of focusing on yourself, you need to think about how to serve others. Every Christian is called to that.
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He should also see how she interacts to others. At my office there is a young lady that goes out of her way to tell me hi and if we pass in the hall she has to stop and talk. But since she does that to everyone she is just a really friendly person.
 
Stop showering. It won’t take long before she stops flirting with you. 😛
 
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