How to Stop Girls From Flirting With You?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Melodeonist
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Melodeonist said:
There’s a young woman at work who just won’t leave me alone. Sure, I don’t mind talking, I love talking. However, I am afraid she likes me. It’s kind of annoying because I just like her as a friend.

I am not interested in dating anyone. Yes, I am attracted to women, but no I don’t want to deal with that kind of stuff as I know I do not want to get married and I think intimate stuff related to marriage absolutely disgusting. I would be happiest being single or being a priest. I also know I would be miserable being married because I hate making compromises in my personal life.

What should I do to convince her to stop flirting with me? Thanks! 👍
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Dear OP,
I understand what you are trying to say. I, too, didn’t want to get married. I was devoted to school and work. You must pray for your vocation, what the Lord has set you here for. Someone else can’t throw out that vocation your way, it comes from God, through much prayer and prep. Some people see through a small window, but God is infinite. Maybe the priesthood is not for you. I know a priest who knew he was to be a priest at age 12. He has godly parents and had good direction in his life. I know a young lady who discerned a vocation as a nun for many years. It was not to be. She has ‘children’ but they are her students, she is a gifted teacher in a Catholic school. Friendly relationships do not have to end in girfriend-wife situations. A friend can be a friend to talk to, sort out life together. My husband and I mentor young people together, male and female. Almost all are struggling with what society and other Catholics tell them to do. We try to get them to focus on what is God calling you to do. There are many vocations, missionary, working with an apostolate, monk, deacon, priest, teacher, etc.

Don’t ask people here what you need to do, you will get 100 different answers which all may be wrong. Pray, ask God. It is okay to smile and be nice to people. Share your faith with this person. Is she Catholic? How wonderful it would be to have a Catholic ally at work. Try to see her as God sees her. Someone whose soul may need the gospel.
 
If she is annoying you with constant chatter just get busy with something else.

If she is overtly flirting, such as asking you if you have a girlfriend be kind and honest that you don’t plan to date anytime soon. It is the topics she’s talking about, and the body language messages that separates flirting with friendliness.

Both women and men can be friendly without motives.
 
Melodeonist said:
There’s a young woman at work who just won’t leave me alone. Sure, I don’t mind talking, I love talking. However, I am afraid she likes me. It’s kind of annoying because I just like her as a friend.

I am not interested in dating anyone. Yes, I am attracted to women, but no I don’t want to deal with that kind of stuff as I know I do not want to get married and I think intimate stuff related to marriage absolutely disgusting. I would be happiest being single or being a priest. I also know I would be miserable being married because I hate making compromises in my personal life.

What should I do to convince her to stop flirting with me? Thanks! 👍
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Don’t be rude, just don’t place yourself in compromising positions with her.

Be friendly and if can, be around other people when she’s in your presence.

Its at work, so be careful.

If she doesn’t stop, you most go to HR to report it, otherwise she could turn the table on you.

Not everyone is meant to marry. Not everyone is meant to have intimate relations with a woman. Some people are A-sexual. They’re just not interested. Nothing wrong with this, and in fact, its how many who enter the priesthood are.

In all, pray for God’s guidance and protection.

Jim
 
Stop smiling and being so warm and fuzzy. Just ignore her as much as possible and maybe she’ll just go away.
 
JimR-OCDS said:
If she doesn’t stop, you most go to HR to report it, otherwise she could turn the table on you.
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I have never heard of such a thing. You don’t report a co-worker to HR because she is friendly and talkative. :eek:
 
EnglishTeacher said:
I have never heard of such a thing. You don’t report a co-worker to HR because she is friendly and talkative. :eek:
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An important difference between flirting and sexual harassment is that harassment is unwelcome – the contact was not invited or accepted. Assuming it was not invited, it would require not accepting it to make that known.
 
Joe_5859 said:
Stop showering. It won’t take long before she stops flirting with you. 😛
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I thought of the same thing! He could also shave his head & not wash his clothes. Before long, EVERYONE will be avoiding him. 😃
 
Melodeonist said:
Yesterday she did indeed bring up the subject of girlfriends but seemed to be hinting things. I told her something along the lines that I am not interested in having a girlfriend or getting married and that I am perfectly content being single.
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This seems a reasonable response. Going forward, treat her with respect and christian charity.

May God bless you and all of your co-workers.
Amen.
 
philipl said:
He should also see how she interacts to others. At my office there is a young lady that goes out of her way to tell me hi and if we pass in the hall she has to stop and talk. But since she does that to everyone she is just a really friendly person.
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A clerk at the grocery I go to is like that. Every time I see her, she has a great big smile and says, “How you doing, sweetheart?” She’s that way with everyone - she can really brighten up a day. 🙂
 
Get over yourself.

I had someone repair my kitchen sink once. This man came in the morning, and I offered him a cup of coffee.

He said, “I don’t do that sort of thing…I’m married and faithful to my wife.”

I looked at him in disbelief thinking, I did not ask for the family jewels. I was just trying to be kind. Don’t read too much into anything. If you don’t want her to flirt with you, don’t flirt back. Maybe you are a challenge to her and she wants to see if you have any attraction for her at all.
 
Arizona_Fat_Gir said:
Get over yourself.

I had someone repair my kitchen sink once. This man came in the morning, and I offered him a cup of coffee.

He said, “I don’t do that sort of thing…I’m married and faithful to my wife.”
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A similar thing happened to my husband. He wrote a letter to a friend who had moved & absent-mindedly signed it off with “love.” She wrote a note back to never contact her again because he should be faithful to me. She’s 82 & my husband is 81. We figured it was the beginning of dementia on her part, or she has a very inflated idea of how attractive she is.

I offer coffee to anyone, if I’ve made a fresh pot. None of the workers who were here last fall (who were working on the bathroom) thought I had designs on them.
 
Bonnie said:
But he may be imagining it. All he has to do is stop talking to her.
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I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt that he’s not imagining it.

After all, he asked for advice on what to do.

It’s at his place of employment and it makes the situation tricky if not dangerous for his career.

Jim
 
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