How to stop others from evangelizing you without losing them as friends?

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Angela77

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I have some very good Baptist friends. They’re very nice. The only problem is, I feel like they’re trying to convert me. They keep on trying to invite me to events with their church. (In fact, they invite my whole family to events with their church.) I have declined several times. Not that I have anything wrong with the Baptist religion, but I just don’t feel comfortable going because I’d feel out of place, and, after all, I’m already happily Catholic.

So, what can I say when they ask me to come to their events? I don’t want to lose them as friends, but I don’t want to convert either. When they ask me to come to things, there’s usually an awkward moment where I say I’ll think about it and hope they don’t ask me again. Then they ask me again, and I make up some transparent excuse such as, “Oh, it’s on a Friday? Oh, I don’t know that that will work; I’m always so tired by Friday!”

So how can I put it to them lightly when they invite me to their church?

Thanks in advance!
 
Why not go along once and invite them to mass or an event at your church.
 
Funnily enough I have been in this exact position you are in.
We recently moved house and the Chairperson of our Residents Association is a Baptist Minister.
She is actually a very nice lady and does a great deal for our community.
Often I have been invited to the Sunday religious meeting
I explain quite honestly that I am a practising catholic and attend my own church celebrations ie Mass but I admire and respect the great work she does for the community.

I do attend meetings and functions that are not a Baptist religious meeting.Many neighbours attend religious meetings at her home every week.

It felt awkward at first but not any more and she respects me greatly and I her.
We are friends on FB and often comment to each other about the many things we have in common such as our faith’s.We both do things in our community and are active in our residents association.

I wonder would you be able to assert yourself enough to say you are a practising catholic and attend your own Mass but value thier friendship greatly and happy to attend non rleigious functions?

I wish you well

God bless
 
When Baptists friends were trying to convert me (they kept giving me their version of apologetic material) I returned their gifts along with a note explaining that I had my own faith, I was quite confident in my religion and the gifts they had given me would be best served if they were given to someone who was genuinely struggling with faith.

This hasn’t affected our relationship and the evangelization efforts have ceased.

I think being honest, firm but gentle is the best route. 🙂
 
waterbrook said:
Why not go along once and invite them to mass or an event at your church.
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I would not recommend that the OP do this, for the Baptists will lean on her even more heavily, pressing her to join a Bible study, etc.

Best to just come out and tell them the truth, “I am Catholic, but thanks for the invitation.” They may here “Catholic” as “Pagan waiting to be saved,” so she will have to see if they can have a Catholic friend without trying to “save” her. Some can, some can’t.
 
tbcrawford said:
I wonder would you be able to assert yourself enough to say you are a practising catholic and attend your own Mass but value thier friendship greatly and happy to attend non rleigious functions?
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I second this. Stress that you are a practicing Catholic Christian. Perhaps you could tell them that the church does not encourage attendace of protestant services but that you could do something else, like attend a social gathering. They might take your ‘thank you but no thank you’ more seriously if you explained that it is not just a question of you being busy, but against your faith to participate in their worship. I am all for polite conversation and kindness, but I also believe that when we are dealing with protestants we are doing a work of mercy by pointing out their error of belief. In a nice way of course.

You are concerned about losing them as friends. However, it is *them *that are pushing their faith down your throat, not the other way around. You have every right to put some boundaries in place and if they choose to disrespect that, then it is them that are putting your friendship in question.
 
Angela77 said:
I have some very good Baptist friends. They’re very nice. The only problem is, I feel like they’re trying to convert me. They keep on trying to invite me to events with their church. (In fact, they invite my whole family to events with their church.) I have declined several times. Not that I have anything wrong with the Baptist religion, but I just don’t feel comfortable going because I’d feel out of place, and, after all, I’m already happily Catholic.

So, what can I say when they ask me to come to their events? I don’t want to lose them as friends, but I don’t want to convert either. When they ask me to come to things, there’s usually an awkward moment where I say I’ll think about it and hope they don’t ask me again. Then they ask me again, and I make up some transparent excuse such as, “Oh, it’s on a Friday? Oh, I don’t know that that will work; I’m always so tired by Friday!”

So how can I put it to them lightly when they invite me to their church?

Thanks in advance!
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Once, a Danish Father, before her daughter went to a round-the-world study trip, told her to profit for all occasions to learn and taught her to say “no” in 50 languages.

It is simple: Just say “No, thanks,” with a big smile.

If you start drifting, maybe yes, maybe no, well, it is friday or sunday, there is football in the TV or you have pain in the hair… you will never exit, no wonder they insist, they think you are interested.

You need to say no with no arguments. No because it is no. Period. If you give excuses those excuses can be debated and you will never end.

Better once a lifetime NO than thousands of “maybe”.
 
My friend had a similar problem. Very nice protestant neighbors, and my friend was on their “save” list.

She kept politely refusing. Finally, at yet another invitation to come to their church, my friend told them----she’d only go to their church, if they would come to Mass at her church. My friend said the look on the neighbors’ faces was priceless!

She never received another invitation. but both remained good neighbors.
 
Angela77 said:
I have some very good Baptist friends. They’re very nice. The only problem is, I feel like they’re trying to convert me. They keep on trying to invite me to events with their church. (In fact, they invite my whole family to events with their church.) I have declined several times. Not that I have anything wrong with the Baptist religion, but I just don’t feel comfortable going because I’d feel out of place, and, after all, I’m already happily Catholic.
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You don’t mention whether they are SBC or not, so I’ll just assume not.

They may not be trying to “convert” you. If they are like my family we spend probably 3 or 4 days out of the week at church for events (basketball, rifle team, meals, parties, etc) in addition to scheduled services. They might just want to spend more time with you and to them it’s no different that asking you out to dinner or to a ball game in the secular arena.
 
asia53 said:
My friend had a similar problem. Very nice protestant neighbors, and my friend was on their “save” list.

She kept politely refusing. Finally, at yet another invitation to come to their church, my friend told them----she’d only go to their church, if they would come to Mass at her church. My friend said the look on the neighbors’ faces was priceless!

She never received another invitation. but both remained good neighbors.
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Great
 
tbcrawford said:
You actually make a good point!lol What I mean’t was I really like her and I value her friendship regardless of her faith!
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I thought the odd part was SHE was a Baptist minister. I thought they only allowed men to be.
 
LilHomemaker said:
I definitely would not do that. It would only make matters worse.
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I am astonished. If a friend gets offended by that, I would not consider him a friend…just an acquaintance…A friend is a person, for me, whom you may say everything to and not get offended. A friend is a person you can discuss everything to, get angry to and mend ways…
 
They will keep asking until you make it clear that you are a practicing Catholic and intend to keep it that way.
 
Pfaffenhoffen said:
I am astonished. If a friend gets offended by that, I would not consider him a friend…just an acquaintance…A friend is a person, for me, whom you may say everything to and not get offended. A friend is a person you can discuss everything to, get angry to and mend ways…
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I’m sorry. I think maybe I wasn’t clear. It wasn’t that their friendship would become worse but she doesn’t want to go. I feel that if she accepts and attends once they will continue to ask more and more. She will be introduced to more people who will try to get her to attend more things and that will make the situation worse. It will become harder and harder to say no and thus could lead her away from the truth.

Happy 2nd week of Advent!
 
Everyone seems to be missing the point and, OP, you are missing out on a great opportunity.

I too live in a mostly Baptist community … actually mostly atheist/agnostic … but of the “church go-ers”, mostly Baptist.

My family and I have been happily attending the Baptist functions for years. I can’t tell you how this has helped our faith.

Watching the Baptists try to re-invent the wheel is so beautiful. Watching them beat their heads over things we have such clarity on is really fascinating.

For example, a very well-grounded Baptist woman recently perfectly explained the concept of purgatory to me using her own language, but it was still the same.

Another time, one of them told me that (even though communion is not real to them) they really needed to share communion more often; that it really was that important.

At one of their conferences on how to instruct youth, a teacher was lamenting that they don’t have the image of the crucified Jesus before them always.

It’s definitely not everyone’s cup of tea but if you can go and simply shine the “light of Christ” it will be beneficial both to you and to them. It is pretty easy and refreshing to meet with others that share that love and light.

They will say things that you know in your heart of hearts is wrong; but forgive them, they are ignorant in ways you can not know; just as you are ignorant of their faith.

One thing they do understand very clearly is when I say this:
God calls us all where we need to be. God wants me in the Catholic Church.
Now if you find they shake your faith for one iota, come here first and refresh yourself, but if that doesn’t work, beg out by all means. As for my husband and I, our faith grows though the lively discussion of Christ we have found with our neighbors.

I can’t imagine life without my dear Baptist friends and neighbors.

Please don’t invite them to Mass as a weapon.
Even if one of them took you up on it, Mass (especially real-presence) is far too complicated to explain to someone who is coerced to being there.

On the other hand, if someone feels drawn to go, they are open to learning those important nuances that take more than a lifetime to learn and understand.

Trust, too that God has a plan for them and even though they are in a machine that distorts the truth about our religion, understand God has not abandoned them. He will help them to be where they need to be.
 
InspiritCarol said:
Everyone seems to be missing the point and, OP, you are missing out on a great opportunity.

I too live in a mostly Baptist community … actually mostly atheist/agnostic … but of the “church go-ers”, mostly Baptist.

My family and I have been happily attending the Baptist functions for years. I can’t tell you how this has helped our faith.

Watching the Baptists try to re-invent the wheel is so beautiful. Watching them beat their heads over things we have such clarity on is really fascinating.

For example, a very well-grounded Baptist woman recently perfectly explained the concept of purgatory to me using her own language, but it was still the same.

Another time, one of them told me that (even though communion is not real to them) they really needed to share communion more often; that it really was that important.

At one of their conferences on how to instruct youth, a teacher was lamenting that they don’t have the image of the crucified Jesus before them always.

It’s definitely not everyone’s cup of tea but if you can go and simply shine the “light of Christ” it will be beneficial both to you and to them. It is pretty easy and refreshing to meet with others that share that love and light.

They will say things that you know in your heart of hearts is wrong; but forgive them, they are ignorant in ways you can not know; just as you are ignorant of their faith.

One thing they do understand very clearly is when I say this:
God calls us all where we need to be. God wants me in the Catholic Church.
Now if you find they shake your faith for one iota, come here first and refresh yourself, but if that doesn’t work, beg out by all means. As for my husband and I, our faith grows though the lively discussion of Christ we have found with our neighbors.

I can’t imagine life without my dear Baptist friends and neighbors.

Please don’t invite them to Mass as a weapon.
Even if one of them took you up on it, Mass (especially real-presence) is far too complicated to explain to someone who is coerced to being there.

On the other hand, if someone feels drawn to go, they are open to learning those important nuances that take more than a lifetime to learn and understand.

Trust, too that God has a plan for them and even though they are in a machine that distorts the truth about our religion, understand God has not abandoned them. He will help them to be where they need to be.
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I would be very careful with that advice. Unless you are very strong and knowledgable in your Catholic faith, which everyone should be, I wouldn’t try to attend both a Catholic church and attend Baptist functions. You can be a very good witness of your faith by saying no to attending their functions.

A Catholic family with a teen age daughter did a very similar thing, only it was an evangelical church. The daughter went to something put on at someones home. The parents of the Catholic daughter found out later that one of the women, while the daughter was visiting, took her aside and sat her down and went on for a very long time what she believed was unbiblical in the Catholic church. The daughter came home extremely upset and the mother was livid because she thought she was going there to fellowship with other teens. This became an opportunity for the mother to sit down with her daughter and explain the truths of the Catholic church and to help her be aware of such falsehoods being spread about the Catholic faith but my point is you need to be ready to give an answer for the faith that is in you and it is so easy to get confused.

I would say no and find other ways, through luncheons, get togethers or other means of witnessing.

My father and mother used to witness to their best friends all the time about the Catholic faith. They would have long conversations and never once did they feel the need to attend the Baptist or Lutheran services their friends attended.

I, on the other hand, did attend the protestant services and didn’t come back for many, many years.

Now that I am back I still have my protestant friends and we get together once in a while but I get jabbed and at times I can take it lightly but other times the comments are harsh and I work hard to pick myself back up.
 
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