How to stop thinking about sex?

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Yes, I am a LUST addict and go to SA(sexaholics anonymous)
I find Lust KILLS intimacy, which I CRAVE, so that is why it needs
to be said that if you can get some friends of the same or opposite
sex that you can feel free to be intimate(confiding, hugging or getting
physical w/) then you are well on the way to beating your obsession
w/ sex. Marriage, of course is the BEST course, but, if you are like me
of the homosexual orientation, intimate friends would be as far as I
will go.
 
Ya’ll want to go spray paint the inside of the Sistine Chapel, the artwork in every museum and in all of the grand classical churches? Nudity in art is not sinful.

People, when driven by their own desires, can find immoral arousal in everything from garden flowers to elbows.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Ya’ll want to go spray paint the inside of the Sistine Chapel, the artwork in every museum and in all of the grand classical churches? Nudity in art is not sinful.
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I visited the Sistine Chapel (and the whole Vatican).
TheLittleLady said:
People, when driven by their own desires, can find immoral arousal in everything from garden flowers to elbows.
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I would like to differ: “People, when driven by their UPBRINGING… can find everything immoral.” The age-old question is applicable here: “Is the glass half empty or half full?”
 
There are weirdos who think that watching someone pop balloons is pornographic. We are living in a strange world.
 
A recommendation of journey toward receiving remedy.
A joyful thankful exclamation as a prayer,
“O Jesus!
You love me with all of Your Heart!
I love You with all of my heart!
I thank you for everything You give!
I desire to heal, I’m struggling in my ‘inner disposition’ for healing!
Increase my belief that you answer every prayer.
Your Divine Favor & Strength received by me;
makes my thoughts more like Yours.’
Help me to more diligently walk in Your Thinking in my life.
I trust You, with a firm purpose to concentrate on sharing
thoughts to do other things necessary for the common good,
of myself, and the loved ones around me.
Help me fulfill this promise, rejoicing toward success;
a healthy mourning at failures to urge me to do better.”
Amen.
 
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IQ170 said:
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Vico:
So you are not using the Christian Theological definition that is earlier and from Church Latin scandalizare, from late Greek skandalizein “to make to stumble”. That meaning is used in Summa Theologiae and in the Catechism. So then if you do not use that meaning then another must be substituted such as to tempt and is tempted .
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I have no problem with the usage in the Catechism. “Temptation” is also in the eyes of the beholder. Some words have several meaning, for example “to sin” is sometimes used in the sense of “to miss the mark”.
Vico said:
Scandal is a word or action, evil in itself, which occasions another’s spiritual ruin. So there must be some evil – in this case public sex acts – no doubt illegal, or else there is no scandal (temptation by example).
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Public sex acts are not necessarily illegal. In some societies it might be. But we are not talking about legality.
Vico said:
It is not pornography by the Catechism definition. Public breastfeeding has caused some outcry in the past.
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An excellent example, highlighting the question of scrupulosity. In nudist colonies people walk around stark naked, and everyone is comfortable with it. However, for someone else it might be a “scandalous” behavior - or might not be. This is the point. The behavior is neutral, the perception of the onlooker makes the difference.

The basic problem in our mutual understanding is the concept of “evil in itself”. Regardless of the intent, regardless of the circumstances, regardless of the outcome. I agree with the idea that all three must be evaluated in order to make a decision. (I am not an expert, but quite familiar with the catechism.) But I do not agree that the three “prongs” can be evaluated individually, leading to the concept of “intrinsically evil” acts. This is the problem with our communication. I see no solution. Do you?
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By three prongs I am guessing you are referring to mortal sin conditions:
  • full knowledge (or willful indifference),
  • sufficient reflection (full consent),
  • grave matter.
For my comments on pornography, the definition refers to the matter, which is grave, not to the three prongs which two have to do with culpability. The sex acts proper to marriage, are not for public display, and that is what is the matter.
 
cwsbanana said:
Sex is literally on my mind ALL day no exaggeration and I’m so tired of it. Like from when I wake up until when I go to sleep. My life in general is pretty slow and I have a lot of free time which probably makes things worse. Most of it seems to be a curiosity since I am a virgin and have never had sex but the world is obsessed with it. Of course, I am waiting until marriage. I am 19 female so I feel really filthy. It can seem like a “man problem”. I have never watched porn or masturbated, and I never ever want to go down that road.

I feel too guilty to ever pray or even read the Bible lately. I also seem to fall into reading bad books that are too explicit, but I try to rationalize it in my mind since I tend to just read things that are about married couples so I’m “not sinning” even though I’m pretty sure I still am. Again, it’s not porn but isn’t it written porn? I just get so incredibly curious about sex, so I search for fiction on the internet. Literally, a click away just like porn is :confused: It’s hard because I don’t want to think of sex as a bad thing but I don’t know where the limits are. Like I know for sure that video porn and masturbating is a sin but books, movies etc feel like more of a grey area which I hate.
Actually not even baptized Catholic yet, only started going to mass earlier this year. So I can’t even go to confession.

helpp
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Q:​

By “yet”, Does this mean you are in, or going to join, RCIA? Or does it mean you’re just looking?

A few thoughts

Stay away from ALL reading material of a sexual nature. It’s easy to get addicted to wrong things. Bad habits as you see are hard to break ,just as good habits are hard to start and continue so that they become a habit .

Start looking for good solid reading materials. Start your mind focusing on religious subjects for example. You like reading, then forget looking for fiction, and instead look for real stories of real people. Like lives of saints. Many have gone through their own dark night of the soul which happens to be a title of book by a famous saint (St John of the Cross).
 
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IQ170 said:
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“People, when driven by their UPBRINGING… can find everything immoral.” The age-old question is applicable here: “Is the glass half empty or half full?”
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Someone can be scrupulous, but since morality uses an objective reference point for evaluation, a person’s scrupulosity doesn’t determine the moral goodness of an action, because
Freedom makes man a moral subject.
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http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s1c1a4.htm
 
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Amen!
The emotional dynamics do not change the intrinsic objective radiant aesthetic ethical truth thinking, words, that could heal or hurt the persons involved.
For example, the film ‘Splendor in The Grass,’ story describes a situation that involves
parents, children, friends, neighbors & society. If someone were to view this film from a biased (common good), mental, and/or emotional point of view; they’ll invariable come up with a subjective understanding. And; while Grace lifts up the willing to understand objective non self aggrandizement justifications; we need a compass.
~
We did not come into the world in the womb, in a vacuum. At first, since we are in the image & likeness of God; the Objective Natural Law guided all of an imperfect humanity. With a holistic view of history, the Benevolent reciprocity effects for cultural & multi-cultural societies are successful when families who build up society strive for the ideals of revealed objective beauty (aesthetics), goodness (ethics), and truth (logical language arts discipline phrased assertions of aspects thereof; like mathematics has logic to it.
This is one of the reasons for Jesus Christ referring to Himself as, The Way, The Truth, and The Life, since He clarified all these things; including His Divine Revelation on how to interpret various confusing to human reason things in the Old Testament with clarity.
~
And He left a place where families, who members thereof receive Holy Spirit inspired clarity, become ‘walk the walk,’ examples, enter into the Institutional Church giving those objective clarifications, bound by the Holy Spirit ‘Keys’ given to The Church, as Ex Cathedral truths. The Gates of (subjective ambiguity to it’s limits toward harming the common good effecting individuals, families, communities, cultures, societies, and the nations) with unearned suffering; will never over shadow The Light of Christ; nor prevail against His Church.
~
Godly compassionate structure v. anti-Godly humankind reasoned self aggrandizement false compassion induced tearing down structure.
~
By definition our Lord God Almighty is Benevolent, Compassionate, and completely Truthful. And Inexhaustibly strives with every single person in this; to accept a relationship with God. Therefore, since straining against God does me harm; and gives me harmful tendencies toward others. Therefore, God always gives ability to trust God or not all along the journey. And since, even scientific preponderance of evidence shows there was reality before time, and things like Einsteins 90 degrees from everything; there are other realities. Consciousness doesn’t just pop into existence, and neither does structured objective Beauty, Goodness, and Truth; this fails in the face of logic. One way or another our reality is transitory. I certainly know it’s prudent for one’s own welfare, to learn of The New Creation completely coming one day as Judaeo Christianity Believes. Peace.
 
One final thought relevant to what Jesus Christ taught in other words in The Bible.
Build one’s ‘house (relationships with others in the world)’
on The Rock of The Promises of God,
or The Sand of subjective self aggrandizement human reason.
~
Jesus Christ promised, those who choose Rock, will weather the storms of life;
while those who choose Sand, will be washed away.
This in all due respect to human perceptions of success in the face of unearned suffering. But whether someone has abundance or lack; The Rock is the decision for life. God sees each of our existences Divinely Holistically of our ‘inner disposition’ heart & mind. For example, one of my uncles successfully built a house almost single handed in Colorado. One uncle died of cirrhosis of the liver due to alcoholism. They both, overall gave similar amounts of good fruits in charity, joy, peace and so on for our family with a positive effect on our relationships; in the state of Grace they eventually died. The generational reasons for how they lived their lives, and mitigating factors were harsh. I certainly have hope and a good amount of assurance with my inspired by The Holy Spirit, they are either passing the journey Purifying Flame of God’s Holiness; whereby the holistic human spirit is always present with The Lord, to be in the joy of The Lord;
or already passed through. But some would say the material success of the one; made him more successful. Peace, and heartfelt prayers & well wishes.
 
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Try to control your gaze. If you can control what you look at, you have a better chance at abstaining from sexual thoughts. When you’re at Wal-Mart at the checkout aisles, don’t look at the magazines. If you’re watching sports on TV and the cheerleaders appear on the screen, look away. If you’re at a mall and you happen to walk by a Victoria’s Secret, don’t look at their ads. If you’re at a gym and are working out, don’t look at the women there. Many women will be wearing immodest clothing, especially since it’s the summer and they are wearing short shorts.

My point is that you need to avoid the triggers. If you can do that, you will be well on your way to achieving victory over these thoughts.
 
Vico said:
By three prongs I am guessing you are referring to mortal sin conditions:
  • full knowledge (or willful indifference),
  • sufficient reflection (full consent),
  • grave matter.
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Yes. And I did it, because lots of aspects of sex are considered “mortally sinful”. By some (or many) Christians, of course.
Vico said:
For my comments on pornography, the definition refers to the matter, which is grave, not to the three prongs which two have to do with culpability. The sex acts proper to marriage, are not for public display, and that is what is the matter.
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You glossed over the scenario I presented. An empty beach, a (married) couple, who are observed by someone, and who considers the act “scandalous”. Is it scandalous if the observer finds it inappropriate, or is it scandalous “objectively”? Even if the observer does not find it “scandalous”?

I think that your definition and analysis are not “deep” enough. Our species has been around for more than 100 thousand years. Christianity has been around for 2 thousand years. Before Christianity no one considered sex a “grave” matter, much less scandalous, and even in the last two thousand years it considered a “grave matter” by a very small percentage of the people.

When was the concept of marriage “invented”? And by marriage I speak of one man and one woman till death do them part? What kind of marriage ceremony was in the stone age? The iron age? Among cave-men? In ancient tribal societies? In the jungle around the Amazon? What you consider “marriage” is quite a new phenomenon, and the monogamous relationship is even newer. In the Oriental cultures sex was considered simple and normal. It is / was a simple fact of life.
 
I am female haha so that stuff is not a problem . Visual stuff is not really a problem for me thankfully
 
IQ170 said:
You glossed over the scenario I presented. An empty beach, a (married) couple, who are observed by someone, and who considers the act “scandalous”. Is it scandalous if the observer finds it inappropriate, or is it scandalous “objectively”? Even if the observer does not find it “scandalous”?
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You quoted scandalous, so I will say you mean the Christian Theological definition which means “a stumbling block” so the person that observes this finds that it is a stumbling block, a temptation to sin. The objective fact is that it is public display of sexual acts proper only to the married couple, so it is active scandal (which can be either direct or accidental). On the part of the observer it is passive scandal (which could even occur with something that has only an appearance of sin).

Personal culpability is another issue.
 
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TheLittleLady said:
I would warn folks that this is a New Age practice.
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What if one focuses on visualizations of how to improve one’s golf swing? I’m not being fully facetious.

ETA: never mind. I read more of the thread after posting that. It’s been discussed.
 
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cwsbanana said:
I’m 19 so I don’t even see the point in dating yet since I’m so young and dating is supposed to be for marriage right? Most guys I’ve talked to won’t wait until marriage :confused:
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You can get really wrapped up (smothered) in the ideas that some people have about dating and marriage. Dating, “courting,” whatever they want to call it.

Dating does lead to marriage, because you really can’t (or shouldn’t) marry someone you’ve never spent time with. However, you can’t marry everyone you date, either.

It would be absurd to say, “I pick you for marriage. Let’s start dating.”

Date. Have fun. Meet guys. Get to know people. Don’t hold back because of what might happen.

Joe: “Did you enjoy the beach?”
Bob: “No. I don’t know how to swim.”
Joe: “Why not?”
Bob: “I never learned.”
Joe: “Why not?”
Bob: “I was afraid of drowning.”
Joe: “But if you learned how to swim you’d be less likely to drown.”
Bob: “But I’d never drown if I never got in the water.”
Joe: “True.”
Bob: “But I regret not knowing how to swim.”
Joe: “Then take lessons.”
Bob: “No, because I might drown.”
 
Don’t explicitly have to think of meeting people of the opposite sex as dating, per se. There’s very little you can do with a person you’re dating that you can’t do with a friend.

Make friends. Have fun. No pressure to do anything you don’t want to. If it leads to dating, and/or marriage with all the perks (including sex), so be it.
 
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