How to tactfully tell your church (small group, pastor) that you're considering taking RCIA

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datritle said:
This is NOT okay. Catholicism isn’t an a la carte situation. You either believe in it, or you don’t. Protestant at night, catholic in the morning? might as well be a buddhist in the afternoon.
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No, I think it’s fine at the beginning. OP will find out on his own, he’ll just not want to go there anymore. God will handle it.
 
Questionshf said:
Congratulations to you too!!! I see its 4 days until RCIA for you!🙂

I know I went into a chapel for the first time yesterday because my friend was showing me what everything was and actually stepping in for the first time because I was too shy to go by myself. And it gave me the goose bumps it was a bit scary actually. Seeing the box with the bread that is Jesus. It was like stepping on holy ground. It was so safe in their like a haven. And when you put that water on you when you first go in and you make the sign of the cross, it didn’t feel like you were just getting wet. Its like you are so close to God I want to go to Mass everyday. I just can’t believe how holy it was.

Datritle has scared me a bit because I like both churches. Mass and church. I don’t want to leave night Protestant church because I meet God there too and I have lots off friends and the Pastors are so admirable. But at Mass I mean THE Tabernacle is there! How awesome is that!:signofcross:
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Pretty darned awesome. We have Mass every single day. In a city, you can always find a Parish with 24 hour Adoration. You’re really being called. Holy Spirit action!
 
Questionshf said:
What happens if you do take communion at a Protestant Church once you are Catholic? I don’t know what a mortal sin is but it sounds dreadful. If it is a mortal sin, can you be forgiven? And is it really that bad? What if you don’t think its bad even if you are told its wrong. So you do it anyway.

Im not asking this to be rebellious, I just want to make sure I don’t end up in hell.
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Ask about that in your RCIA class, I imagine others will have similar concerns.
 
So I gather that you could still go to both if you wanted to. If I wanted to leave protestant church I would just gradually stop going until they wouldn’t notice. If they did ask me I would explain why I believed more in the Catholic faith and keep lines of communication open (tell them how awesome it is) about the presence of God.
 
I am truly sorry,i didn’t mean to freak you out! sometimes i come across as a little harsh 😦
I was saying basically that eventually you will have to choose. but sure, in the beginning , it is a journey to discover how to be comfortable in the Church, and that can take time. I remember how daunting it was! but keep your heart open, and God will gradually reveal himself in the Catholic Faith to you! RCIA is a GREAT tool, and you’re not bound to keep going towards confirmation if you don’t want to, but attend it and ASK ASK ASK!!!
 
Thats ok you just said what I didn’t want to hear. I’m hoping I can choose 20 years down the track but I need to be in both at the moment. But then if I left Catholicism its once Catholic always Catholic hey.
 
I visited my old church (liberal Episcopalian) today. I saw the priest briefly. I don’t know that he has noticed we’ve been coming (and he’s retiring next year) and it’s a small congregation and we hadn’t been too active there and were still kind of new.

I’m doing RCIA this year and quietly going to the Roman Catholic Church. A couple of people at our former church could tell by my Facebook posts over the last year that I was headed in that direction. They were part of the reason I wasn’t too torn up about leaving! They have been kind of “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!” :eek:

I feel you. I suggest simply quietly bowing out and being devoted to RCC and Mass. 👍
 
dcarollo said:
Hi:

I’ve been on the Catholic exploratory journey for about 6 months now – and feel I’m getting ready to take RCIA in the next couple months or so – which means I have to eventually “face the music” (or firing squad), and tell our small group and pastor.

Not looking forward to that one bit.

Our family still attends a modern, Reformed, “cool” church (20-minute rock concert followed by 1-hour lecture from a casually dressed pastor dude. If you’re from this background, you know the drill!), we also attend a weekly small group – where we’ve gotten to know some pretty nice, spiritual Christians (I have NOTHING bad to say about any of them).

Anyway: I’m just wondering if someone else here has been through this – and maybe some tips on how to tactfully, lovingly, graciously tell them why I can no longer submit to the reformed, protestant framework.

On a Practical level, I’m not sure what my going to RCIA means for my continual church attendance (what makes matters more complicated, is that my wife is a pretty committed protestant, and I don’t see her leaving the church). This means, I will either have to 1) Continue to “attend” the Protestant church with my family – and somehow just keep “under the radar” as much as I can. or 2) Completely leave the church On my own – without my family.

This is not easy.
Any ideas would be appreciated!
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I went through this when I joined RCIA the final time, when I knew for sure that I was going to become Catholic.

After telling my husband, the first thing I did was I had a meeting with the pastor of the parish where I wanted to do my RCIA. What he advised me (and your mileage will vary according to your personal circumstances) was to cut all ties with the Protestant church that I was attending. The analogy he used was, “You don’t keep dating your old boyfriend when you get engaged to the new boyfriend.” (Not sure how well the analogy holds up, in your case.) This was in early November, and he gave me a deadline of January 1st to commit 100% to the Catholic Church.

I was very involved with a number of ministries in my Protestant church, so the first thing I did was send a resignation letter to the Board of Session to let them know that as of Christmas holiday season, I would no longer be available as a volunteer. I didn’t mention in that letter that I was actually leaving the church, but in hindsight, I should have, because they really dragged their feet with regard to finding replacements for me, and they kept saying, “Well, you’ll keep doing it until we find someone, won’t you?” and I was saying, 'No, I’m not going to be available; you really need to find someone as soon as possible." I even recommended people who had been working with me, and who mostly knew what was going on, but they still kept dragging their feet.

My original plan was that I was going to train the new people and show them my record-keeping, etc., and give them the lists of necessary tasks for each position. However, January 1st came and went with no new volunteers showing up, so I wrote up a “good-bye” letter and dropped it in the Church office, addressed to the pastor, and that was that. I was later told that everyone panicked, and nobody knew what to do - but as far as I was concerned, I had given them every chance, and I thought, maybe it’s God’s will for those ministries to die.

I had been attending Mass and studying the teachings of the Catholic Church for 17 years at that point, so when I asked about joining the RCIA, they allowed me to come in during January. I spent my weekends and evenings catching up on the homework, as well as participating in the sessions on Wednesdays, and attending morning Mass on Sundays, and they allowed me to be received into the Church that same Easter, instead of having to wait another year.

My husband also didn’t convert and he is still very involved at my old church. I have occasionally returned there to visit, but I don’t attend there regularly, and I actively avoided going there at all for the first two years, to give them time to replace the ministries that I had been doing, because it would have been really, really tempting for me to step back into those roles, if they had needed me to. So I wanted to make sure that “my” ministries were either dead, or belonged to someone else, before I ever went back.
 
Stress that you feel God is calling you to investigate the Catholic Church- you are doing your best to follow his voice, etc. Then you can talk about how much you appreciate them/what you’ve learned/hope to see them again at xyz (you will go to lunches, events, ??? with wife perhaps?).

You can choose to talk in a manner that invites questions, or state so very matter of factly, near the end of the whatever, and always say “I need to head home” and cut off anything making you uncomfortable.

I would probably begin attending rcia, or wait until you KNOW you are going to become a member of the Catholic Church, before speaking with your current church.
 
So: I told the two group leaders of our Protestant small group that I intend to continue my exploration of Catholicism (including possible RCIA). It actually went quite well — we even had a cigar & hot-tub night and we discussed it.

I **even **had a meeting with my wife and our Protestant pastor — which, I initiated myself.

Suprisingly – he didn’t even try to talk me out of it — However: He was concerned about what would happen to our marriage if I was insensitive to my wife or pushy in my “pursuit of Catholicism” — saying it cannot be God’s will to cause strife in our marriage.

Anyway: It was a relief to finally get it out in the open – and it has provided good opportunities for me to humbly and lovingly share my journey, and also help dispel common myths about Catholicism.

As Charles Colson and John Richard Nuehuas so effectively did with their “Evangelicals and Catholics Together” — I also have a real burdan to see bridges built between the two groups — NOT in a compromising or sloppy ecumenicalism, but merely as a “Come and See what it’s all about”. I intend (as much as time allows) to continue to meet with my Protestant friends.

The NEXT big step for my wife and I: How to proceed forward. The wonderful thing about Catholicism is that there are so many options for attending Mass! For example, there are two evening services in the local Parish in our area – which makes it easy for me to attend without disrupting the family schedule too much. In the mean time — I may find myself ALSO going to the Protestant church with my wife for awhile. I see NO point in completely cut ties cold turkey — especially when it involves my wife and kids (whom I WANT to join me on this journey eventually!) It can serve my family NO good, if pursue this relentlessly and insensitively — without regard to their spiritual wellbeing.

Pray for us!
 
dcarollo said:
Hi:

I’ve been on the Catholic exploratory journey for about 6 months now – and feel I’m getting ready to take RCIA in the next couple months or so – which means I have to eventually “face the music” (or firing squad), and tell our small group and pastor.

Not looking forward to that one bit.

Our family still attends a modern, Reformed, “cool” church (20-minute rock concert followed by 1-hour lecture from a casually dressed pastor dude. If you’re from this background, you know the drill!), we also attend a weekly small group – where we’ve gotten to know some pretty nice, spiritual Christians (I have NOTHING bad to say about any of them).

Anyway: I’m just wondering if someone else here has been through this – and maybe some tips on how to tactfully, lovingly, graciously tell them why I can no longer submit to the reformed, protestant framework.

On a Practical level, I’m not sure what my going to RCIA means for my continual church attendance (what makes matters more complicated, is that my wife is a pretty committed protestant, and I don’t see her leaving the church). This means, I will either have to 1) Continue to “attend” the Protestant church with my family – and somehow just keep “under the radar” as much as I can. or 2) Completely leave the church On my own – without my family.

This is not easy.
Any ideas would be appreciated!
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I was a Protestant of the Christian Church (Church of Christ/Disciples of Christ line). I just told them—and the minister and his family and another close family came to my Confirmation and First Eucharist. The only “problem” I got was the minister about Mary–I answered with the Catholic Church’s teachings and he said “ok.” As for the attendance issue: being single, I can not really help with advice to someone that is married, except to tell you I continued to go to Wednesday night Bible Studies and Sunday evening services just to see friends and would end up with some great discussions during the Bible Studies! If nothing else, they got a better understanding of the Catholic church.
 
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