How to talk to a girl about her weight?

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I think some people are just naturally thin and naturally lose weight without having an eating disorder…My fiance is almost 6’ tall and he can eat like a pig- everything and anything without having problems- and he’s almost 30, he’s healthier than most and he weighs around 170… he can skip a meal and lose a few pounds or work out and gain a few but he always stays around 170 never goes that much over or under no matter what he stays around there naturally!!! But that’s how his metabolism is…

My sister can skip a meal for 2 weeks and lose 10 lbs and not gain them back…She’s one of the lucky ones whose health hasn’t been affected by phentermine pills and has lost and kept the weight off…

It’s really weird because no matter what I do to lose weight get on a liquid diet, exercise, eat healthy I gain weight not lose it…Seriously! I was told it was a genetic disorder because I was being monitored, then found out have pcos, and then a doctor said that my hormones were completely out of wack and no matter what I did I was not going to lose weight… Pretty sad especially since I am 30 and was pretty healthy several years ago…

So maybe you should have her doctor contact her instead…Or even a nurse…Or just ask her what she does to stay thin?! Tell her there’s a woman here that wants to know! LOL No seriously! 😉 Maybe she’ll want to talk about it then and then direct her to the right direction or just enjoy her thinness even more and be grateful she’s not overweight with health problems like I am and have! 😦 lol God bless…Have a good day!
 
I have been naturally thin my whole life. I also exercise almost every day and eat very healthy. In college one of my male friends told me I needed to gain weight and I found that to be incredibly rude. It is the same as telling someone else they need to lose weight. If you are concerned she has an eating disorder, that is a separate issue. If you notice she doesn`t eat with you when she is out, or that she always goes to the restroom after eating, that is one thing. But I would raise that concern separately from remarks about her appearance.

It is just as rude to tell someone they are underweight as overweight.

Sincerely,

Maria1212
 
querying said:
Hinting to a woman that she needs to gain weight is nothing compared to telling her that she needs to lose weight.
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I disagree. I have always been thin. I eat a health diet and stay active. I get quite annoyed at people who feel the need to point out that I am thin. I know I’m thin, three kids later still can’t seem to break 100lbs, I’m 5’4. Either way you are hinting that she’s not “good” or “pretty” enough the way she is. Its hurtful and not very nice.

I once knew a girl who would not shut up about how thin I was, telling me I should eat more, always asking why are you so thin, whats your secret, are you bulimic etc… I finally blew up and asked her why she was so fat (she wasn’t really “fat”, but could have lost a few pounds) and told her maybe she should skip a meal. I felt horrible afterwards, but I made my point: its rude to discuss someone’s weight, whether they are heavy or thin.

If she was overweight would you consider telling her to loose weight? I agree with the above poster, if your worried its an eating disorder, focus on that…not eating, going to the bathroom right after eating etc… But don’t make it about appearances.
 
I really hated the comments about how my body would break after having kids. I mean, we women don’t feel inadequate about our bodies enough…Even though, as a former premed student, daughter of a slender woman, and as someone who knew enough tiny ladies with many kids, I knew their logic was flawed, it still hurt…It’s like telling a man he’s impotent…it makes you feel less womanly…

How to talk to a girl about her weight-DON’T!!! If it’s her HEALTH, it may be related but not always. Health and weight are not one in the same.
 
puzzleannie said:
give it up unless you are her doctor, there is no way you can win with this conversation
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Amen. There is nothing women are more sensitive about than their appearance. It is best for everyone’s mental health simply not to bring up the subject at all.

Even with my husband, if he asks me what I think of his outfit, I always just say, “A handsome man looks good in pretty much anything,” and leave it at that.

Everyone is always beautiful when they have their smiles on. 🙂
 
I dont think this applies to OP but in my expierience people who go on about others being too thin usually struggle with thier weight themselves. I remember visiting my MIL who is overweight and her talking about a family friend who lost lots of weight and how awful she looked and so on…I thought she was very attractive and this was before I knew this was the woman she was talking about. I myself am overweight and I spend way too much time thinking about losing weight…
I have noticed this with lots of girl friends though, the ones who obsess the most about it are the ones with the comments about being too thin.
 
I’m 4’10". Until I was 4 months pregnant at 25, I weighed 85 lbs and was often mistaken for a 14 year old. I ate anything I wanted and gained not an ounce. It was not rare for me to buy and eat a second full meal at lunchtime at the hospital where I worked. Went down to 90 after the baby and after the third I went down to 100 lbs after starting weight training and eating well. Doctor was concerned about this until he found out that my original weight 6 years earlier was 85. Some of us are just not designed to gain much weight – at least until menopause is on the horizon 😉
 
OK, here’s a related question. Would I get into the same amount of trouble if I asked a bespectacled girl to get contacts?
 
BadTurkey said:
OK, here’s a related question. Would I get into the same amount of trouble if I asked a bespectacled girl to get contacts?
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Well, I certainly wouldn’t recommend it. 😉 What if there is a medical reason she can’t wear contacts? What if she has tried it and just doesn’t like the hassle? So now you are telling her that she isn’t good enough for you. Or more importantly that you as a man are much more interested in the outside than whats on the inside.

Personally, I would write you off right then, but thats just me. I want a man who loves me for who I am, not how I look. I always had enough men interested in the outside, I fell in love with the man who actually cared about what was on the inside.
 
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