How to talk to people about the faith

[Montie_Claunch]

As some of you might now Loboto-me and Sir Knight are at this rather odd forum over yander and after a while I decided that it might be fun to go and assiste them in defending the Catholic Faith. I tried my best to be calm and rather open to discusion and whenever (in the few occasions) that I lost my temper I was always quick to apologize for those actions. I found it rather depresing though that I only seemed to stir up anger and anamosoty there as for some reason that is beyond me they seemed offended that I was “forcing” my faith on others (which in my eyes I wasn’t though overtly not the case with them). Any how I feel rather depresed about my failer to not only to win converts for christ but, also did not scilence critics nor opened any minds. I am trying to figure out how I should correct myself to do what people like Fulton J. Sheen, whom I greatly admire, did in coverting many people. Do any of ya’ll have any suggestions? I don’t want to be a stone stuck in the fine workmanship of the Catholic Church PR and outreach. Thank you for any advice and quidance and as always God bless.

 

[StCsDavid]

You can convert no one. Remember that always. Only the Holy Spirit can turn a person’s heart. Do the best you can, and let the Holy Spirit do the rest…in His time…in His way.

 

[Marilena]

StCsDavid:

You can convert no one. Remember that always. Only the Holy Spirit can turn a person’s heart. Do the best you can, and let the Holy Spirit do the rest…in His time…in His way.

The Holy Ghost can definitely turn a person’s heart! My
husband is proof of that Staunch evelutionist his entire
life, until he started going to Mass with me. I do the best
I can, and the Holy Ghost will the rest

 

[AlanFromWichita]

A couple generic ideas:

• Listen more than talk… this has two advantages: 1) makes the person feel I respect their opinion, and 2) gives me clues into their current thinking which help in deciding strategy.
• If possible, I wait a while before I play the “Catholic” card… sometimes when they find out I am Catholic then stereotypes kick in and block communication – especially if on a time-limited basis where you can’t do much to undo first impressions. I like to try to establish communication beyond those blocks before they find out I’m Catholic, so by that time the “cat’s out of the bag” so to speak and they have revealed things they may not have had they known, so I know what I’m dealing with in terms of their mindset. Then they perceive me as “astereotypical Catholic” in their eyes and even as a empathetic Personal Advocate of sorts – at this point I try to remain empathetic rather than launch into apologetics.
• Don’t tell people their religion of beliefs are wrong, evil, etc, unless I know them very well or are particularly confident in my communication skills that day. When they say their ideas I may say, “that is fascinating. I’ve never really thought of it that way – in Catholicism we believe … blah blah blah.” If we speak the Truth, we shouldn’t have to label it as such or if we do we risk making it suspect by the very label. After all, when I hear somebody insist something is true and my view is wrong – especially if they only know my view superficially – I tend to resist and others do too. If I speak the Truth as I understand it and the person doesn’t hear it, then I strongly doubt that having specifically told them that I speak truth and they speak lies will help them hear it. Plus, insisting that what we say is the Real Truth presupposes there’s a chance that it is not, so I try to make such assertions – if Truth isn’t good enough to sell itself, then either I’m not speaking it or at least I’m not likely to sell it with my assertions.
• Even though we are slaves to no man, we can make ourselves slaves as Paul does, and notice he becomes LIKE the people he is trying to win. I think many Catholics feel they should always behave “Catholicly” so that it is known they are confident/proud about their faith. Frankly, it’s nothing to be proud about – it is a gift – and acting overtly Catholic among others who are not can backfire sometimes and put up barriers before you even get the first word in. Notice Paul even goes so far as to follow the “rules” of those he’s around rather than his own, himself being free from the law of sin and death…

aCor9:

19 7 Although I am free in regard to all, I have made myself a slave to all so as to win over as many as possible. 20 To the Jews I became like a Jew to win over Jews; to those under the law I became like one under the law–though I myself am not under the law–to win over those under the law. 21 To those outside the law I became like one outside the law–though I am not outside God’s law but within the law of Christ–to win over those outside the law. 22 To the weak I became weak, to win over the weak. I have become all things to all, to save at least some. 23 All this I do for the sake of the gospel, so that I too may have a share in it.

• Above all, I try to avoid any kind of condescending thoughts, as inevitably my words will betray it. An even more fundamental concept for many people than “love one another” is “respect me as a person” or as theologian Paul Tillich said, “don’t use me as a means.” I must be truly interested and open to what they are saying and they must not think I am either dismissing their views as less relevant than mine (even though of course I think they are ) or I have violated this fundamental axiom and they may not hear anything I have to say.
• Also above all, I cannot become angry or my message will become a tool for the evil one even though it make contain nothing but truth in a literal sense.
• I try to learn to follow the excellent advice I once got in a “word of the day” email from a friend:
  “The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it,
  to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never
  persist in trying to set people right.” - Hannah Whitall Smith
  I don’t know this “Smith,” but this advice has helped bring me peace, and in turn helped increase the chance it is taken! Strange but true I think that feigned or actual indifference is often more powerful than emotional displays like I used to do more than I do now.

Alan

 

[Loboto-Me]

Dear Montie,

I have decided that these people are just not worth it (as a group). Actually there are a very few there that are great people, but they are a minority.

I suggest you do as I have… just pick yourself up, dust off your feet and pray for those who can be reached through the threads you’ve already posted at.

Eventually SOME will see the errors of their ways through the Holy Spirit.

PS: As I’ve told you before, I think you did a fine job of being charitable and making good points.

 

[Lillith]

Hello…take heart! You do not* really * know if you made someone think about any point you made! You were in a debate…people are out to win…BUT…you just might have made someone want to look closer…and looking closer is what you are out to do…not win. Catholicism is like a caged lion…you have opened the door…that is all you need do!

That being said…John Martignoni has tapes that he gives away for free…one in particular about apologetics that you should check out! Here:

biblechristiansociety.com/testimonials.asp

Just remember…you don’t know what you won or lost!
Love, Teresa