How to tell a Catholic girl that you love her?

[E_7]

I’ve known her for about a couple years, to be exact. She and I were childhood friends since 5th grade, back at our old Catholic elementary school in 2007. I don’t know about that other thing you’ve mentioned, Laircy; the idea of marriage seemed somewhat distant to me, at least at this point in my life.

Aside from the fact that we both go to the same Parish together, she does seem to be interested in learning about the faith, but the problem is, she simply doesn’t have the time.

I really wished she had some time to look into it further .

Ask her out to a public place (people around but not loud and not too private). I agree with the poster phil at dayboro on pizza or bowling (or pizza at bowling…). I’m not sure what words would be best. I have no experience in dating as I never dated (but I married the first man I courted for he was the one). But you can try saying “would you be my girlfriend if I tell you that I like you?” Or you could say “what do you think about me? do you think I can be a good boyfriend?” If she says yes then confess and say “Would you be my girlfriend, you don’t have to give me the answer now and I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Or "you know, I’ve been holding my feelings for awhile, but I need to let this out, I like you as more than just a friend. If you don’t feel the same way I do towards you, I will understand.

Posters with experience, correct me if you need to.

 

[Xantippe]

Some pickup lines from other threads

“Hey girl, you can take as long as you want getting ready. I’ll just wait here and say a Rosary because you are worth waiting decades for.”

Hey girl, can I take your hand for a few minutes? You see, I lost my rosary, and I need to use your fingers.

Hey I was reading the book of Numbers and I was wondering if I could have yours?

Do you want to pray the Rosary with me? Because if we did, it would be a glorious mystery!

I believe you have one of my ribs…

Is your name Faith? ‘Cause you’re the substance of things I’ve hoped for.
Is your name Charity? ‘Cause if I don’t have you, I’ll be nothing.

My Sacred Heart scapular started beating faster when I saw you

The word says “Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the
hungry”, how about dinner?

Excellent!

 

[Xantippe]

Ask her out to a public place (people around but not loud and not too private). I agree with the poster phil at dayboro on pizza or bowling (or pizza at bowling…). I’m not sure what words would be best. I have no experience in dating as I never dated (but I married the first man I courted for he was the one). But you can try saying “would you be my girlfriend if I tell you that I like you?” Or you could say “what do you think about me? do you think I can be a good boyfriend?” If she says yes then confess and say “Would you be my girlfriend, you don’t have to give me the answer now and I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Or "you know, I’ve been holding my feelings for awhile, but I need to let this out, I like you as more than just a friend. If you don’t feel the same way I do towards you, I will understand.

Posters with experience, correct me if you need to.

Eh–I would not do those. Those are a likely springboard for, “Let’s be friends!” and then never talk, ever again, if she’s not equally interested already.

 

[E_7]

Eh–I would not do those. Those are a likely springboard for, “Let’s be friends!” and then never talk, ever again, if she’s not equally interested already.

See? OP forget what I said.

 

[pianistclare]

Some pickup lines from other threads

“Hey girl, you can take as long as you want getting ready. I’ll just wait here and say a Rosary because you are worth waiting decades for.”

Hey girl, can I take your hand for a few minutes? You see, I lost my rosary, and I need to use your fingers.

Hey I was reading the book of Numbers and I was wondering if I could have yours?

Do you want to pray the Rosary with me? Because if we did, it would be a glorious mystery!

I believe you have one of my ribs…

Is your name Faith? ‘Cause you’re the substance of things I’ve hoped for.
Is your name Charity? ‘Cause if I don’t have you, I’ll be nothing.

My Sacred Heart scapular started beating faster when I saw you

The word says “Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the
hungry”, how about dinner?

Why do we not have a “GROAN” smiliey?

 

[Allegra]

With all due respect, this seems like a big issue to the OP and it is not charitable to make fun of it

I wasn’t making fun of anything. A guy asked me out that way and I married him!

 

[pianistclare]

I wasn’t making fun of anything. A guy asked me out that way and I married him!

Well now, congratulations! LOL
I wouldn’t have been as receptive as you, but you have a happy marriage and a lovely family, so you go girl!

 

[ProVobis]

I have been talking to this Catholic girl for some time now. Of course. I too am Catholic as well. On top of that, I wanted to tell her that I love her, but I am afraid that she is simply too shy to understand. And so, I wanted to ask for some advice here.

Why would this be any different were she a non-Catholic girl?

Maybe tell her in French?

 

[Estevao]

^^^I think Latin would be best.

Eh–I would not do those. Those are a likely springboard for, “Let’s be friends!” and then never talk, ever again, if she’s not equally interested already.

Ya this is usually what happens when a girl LJBF’s a guy…they don’t actually remain as friends and she never talks to him again.

So much for the social graces one can learn from being in the friend zone!

 

[TheWiseMan]

I didn’t want to say something that could be misinterpreted.,
The O. P. Could be the sensitive type,
I remember as a young man ,rather keen on a particular young lady,
Um, would you like 5 children with me ?
I’ll let you pick their first names,
As you can imagine, it didn’t go anywhere,

Me, sensitive? I think not. It’s the girl who’s the sensitive type, man.

 

[TheWiseMan]

With all due respect, this seems like a big issue to the OP and it is not charitable to make fun of it

At least, you’re trying to take this seriously. Thank you.

 

[Xantippe]

Ya this is usually what happens when a girl LJBF’s a guy…they don’t actually remain as friends and she never talks to him again.

So much for the social graces one can learn from being in the friend zone!

“Let’s just be friends!” is often girlese for “You’re creeping me out.” Hence, it’s not surprising for it to be followed by radio silence. (There are also cases where “Let’s just be friends!” actually means, oddly enough, “Let’s be friends!”–context will demonstrate which is which.)

We do often learn social graces and virtues through friendship that we then use on new people (I think I certainly did), and a spouse ought to be a lifelong friend. A spouse who isn’t a friend is generally a very poor spouse. But one shouldn’t expect to be able to use one’s circle of friends as some sort of romantic hunting preserve without there ever being fallout. The question is, is it worth it to the OP to risk it?

 

[z_0101]

At least, you’re trying to take this seriously. Thank you.

You received a really good answer right here (the highlight is mine):

Yeah, ask her out for a date-date with a time, place, and activity. See this thread:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=900330

Don’t say “I love you” until you’ve officially dated with some success.

How old are you guys? High school?

Also, don’t do any of this stuff unless you are prepared for her to cut you off entirely because she finds it uncomfortable to be around somebody who is pining for her. Is it worth it to you?

1. You may not think so; however, looking back at close to three times your age… you are very young and there are a lot of things going on here that you need to take your time and appreciate and learn from.
2. If you are serious about this young lady, At some point, you are going to have to ask her out on a date… I personally suggest some sort of group event to start out with, not knowing where you live, or what kind of activities are available makes it impossible to suggest where to start… but I’m sure you can think of something that you are going to that would be appropriate for her to attend if invited.
   Just be prepared for nothing to happen. I “dated” **dozens **of girls in highschool, a few in college… I was really in love with just two of them… and blessed that I ended up with one of them almost four years after highschool, would have thought that 200mile between us would have broken that relationship; however, we were and still are best friends. Be yourself. Do not ever lie to her about anything other than a surprise party and be patient… the worse thing for us guys is that we underestimate the value of timing.
3. There’s a Daddy like me, waiting to have a talk with you about his princess… that’s our job (^^), be prepared to tell us about your future life plans… you’ll want to have us on your side when the car breaks down, and the water heater splits at the seams. (^^).

 

[Anglewannabe]

I wasn’t making fun of anything. A guy asked me out that way and I married him!

I think there was a big misunderstanding. I know you were very sincere in your answer. It is the person who responded to you and made fun of your answer that was not being charitable. Please rest assured I though you were giving good charitable advice which is why I didn’t understand the ‘you crack me up’ comment

 

[TheWiseMan]

You received a really good answer right here (the highlight is mine):

1. You may not think so; however, looking back at close to three times your age… you are very young and there are a lot of things going on here that you need to take your time and appreciate and learn from.
2. If you are serious about this young lady, At some point, you are going to have to ask her out on a date… I personally suggest some sort of group event to start out with, not knowing where you live, or what kind of activities are available makes it impossible to suggest where to start… but I’m sure you can think of something that you are going to that would be appropriate for her to attend if invited.
   Just be prepared for nothing to happen. I “dated” **dozens **of girls in highschool, a few in college… I was really in love with just two of them… and blessed that I ended up with one of them almost four years after highschool, would have thought that 200mile between us would have broken that relationship; however, we were and still are best friends. Be yourself. Do not ever lie to her about anything other than a surprise party and be patient… the worse thing for us guys is that we underestimate the value of timing.
3. There’s a Daddy like me, waiting to have a talk with you about his princess… that’s our job (^^), be prepared to tell us about your future life plans… you’ll want to have us on your side when the car breaks down, and the water heater splits at the seams. (^^).

1. Of course, a friendship out of charity, is still just a friendship out of charity.
2. Why I would be dishonest to someone like her? Dishonesty is *not *my thing, as I tend to have a habit of trying to make sure things are right.
3. I’m not surprised, to be honest. And yes, what you see with me, is exactly what you’re going to get with me at face value. I tend to be very open with myself and others. It’s how I do things.

 

[z_0101]

1. Of course, a friendship out of charity, is still just a friendship out of charity.

No, true friendship is not out of charity and you miss the mark.
BTW: If you think my reply is out of charity… think more of mercy. Take it as you will, perhaps when you are 3 time your current age, you’ ll think a little more kindly of me.

1. Why I would be dishonest to someone like her? Dishonesty is *not *my thing, as I tend to have a habit of trying to make sure things are right.

Your youth shows here:
The temptation to lie comes up in many relationships and, depending upon your friends and co-workers, some of your buddies will encourage you to lie (come-on, come for a beer, just tell her you’re working late). Thus, simple advice if such a situation occurs.

1. I’m not surprised, to be honest. And yes, what you see with me, is exactly what you’re going to get with me at face value. I tend to be very open with myself and others. It’s how I do things.

As do I, and yet, your age shows here too… there will be times where it is tempting to change this Philosophy of self that you currently hold and I pray that you hold on to for as long as you live! There may come a time where one needs to work with convenient truths; for instance, in my case, being a military brat and other circumstances… I find that I must be circumspect with many people I deal with because they simply cannot understand nor believe that anyone, let-alone someone my age, could have the number of experiences and knowledge base that I do… it is an issue that many military-brats run into quite often. But you will learn…

Instead of taking my post as a personal criticism, why not take it as advise from an elder that has you best interest at heart.? I did nothing more than tell you to not step into the pit, even if it does look like a pool of cool water.

 

[TheWiseMan]

No, true friendship is not out of charity and you miss the mark.
BTW: If you think my reply is out of charity… think more of mercy. Take it as you will, perhaps when you are 3 time your current age, you’ ll think a little more kindly of me.

Your youth shows here:
The temptation to lie comes up in many relationships and, depending upon your friends and co-workers, some of your buddies will encourage you to lie (come-on, come for a beer, just tell her you’re working late). Thus, simple advice if such a situation occurs.

As do I, and yet, your age shows here too… there will be times where it is tempting to change this Philosophy of self that you currently hold and I pray that you hold on to for as long as you live! There may come a time where one needs to work with convenient truths; for instance, in my case, being a military brat and other circumstances… I find that I must be circumspect with many people I deal with because they simply cannot understand nor believe that anyone, let-alone someone my age, could have the number of experiences and knowledge base that I do… it is an issue that many military-brats run into quite often. But you will learn…

Instead of taking my post as a personal criticism, why not take it as advise from an elder that has you best interest at heart.? I did nothing more than tell you to not step into the pit, even if it does look like a pool of cool water.

First of all, I got no argument about the first thing you’ve mentioned to me.

Second, if a friend tells me to lie, he is no friend to me at all. I accept the truth whether I like it or not, because I love what is still good and just and holy in this world.

And lastly, you have my thanks.

 

[z_0101]

Second, if a friend tells me to lie, he is no friend to me at all. .

I say to you


Pray for Peace

 

[chevalier]

How to tell a Catholic girl that you love her?

In Latin, of course.

Just kidding. But don’t drop the l word on her in English, either. It carries a lot of weight, so you’d better be sure of it. It’s okay to get to know her first.

 

[underacloud]

As others have said, it’s time to ask her on a date. A proper date.

Not pizza or hang out at the mall or whatever - that will not properly announce that your interest is more than as friends. As her on a romantic date. A nice dinner, bring her flowers (a single red rose would be good), etc.

Do not tell her you love her until you have dated for a while, and you reasonably hope that the love is reciprocated. If you are lucky enough to progress that far, just be patient, there is no rush. Yes, you’re young (what, about 18 or 19?), but not too young. You are at a suitable age, if you are suitably mature, to find someone who may be your future spouse (no pressure of course). Good luck.