How to tell friends why I am not receiving the Holy Eucharist

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pyropam said:
Make sure that you are behind your mother and go up during communion and receive a blessing. Your mother will not even turn around to see. Just cross your hands over your chest. It is that simple.
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I’ve never seen that at a Tridentine Mass before.
 
hamburglar said:
uh-oh, I just remembered that I am taking my mother to the Tridentine Mass tomorrow. I won’t be able to receive there either, but now I must face my mom. What should I tell her? I don’t wanna say mind your own business to her…
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If your mom likes going to the Tridentine Mass then my guess is she will know it is none of her business and she won’t ask ;). Or, you can tell her what you told us - you committed a mortal sin and will refrain until you can get to confession. She does not need the details unless you wish to share them with her.

Brenda V.
 
Brenda_V said:
If your mom likes going to the Tridentine Mass then my guess is she will know it is none of her business and she won’t ask ;). Or, you can tell her what you told us - you committed a mortal sin and will refrain until you can get to confession. She does not need the details unless you wish to share them with her.

Brenda V.
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She’s actually never been to it, and I don’t think she’s looking forward to it. She always says “that’s the old-timers” or “that’s so pre-vatican, you don’t want to go to that!”

I was thinking of telling here that I’m not sure that it’s allowed to receive twice in one day, and I want to receive it at the campus mass with my friends.
 
Some churches have confession before the TLM. If yours doesn’t, would it be possible to get there early enough to ask the priest to hear your confession? If not, the idea of waiting to receive at the other Mass might work best.
 
There is no blessing on the communion line at a latin mass. There is no blessing on the communion line at many ordinary masses either seeing as how the church hasn’t given any instruction for it to be done.
 
hamburglar said:
Well, I committed the sin yesterday, and the only time available for confession is mondays and wednesdays at 4:00 before 4:30 mass. There is not a monday or wednesday before tomorrow, so that’s not possible. Unfortuneatly, we don’t even have a permanent priest that says the masses. It changes every time 😦

Thank you for praying for me.
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In most parishes, can’t you make an appointment to see a priest for confession at any time?

I agree that it’s not your friends’ business, and that you really should get thee to confession ASAP.
 
hamburglar said:
uh-oh, I just remembered that I am taking my mother to the Tridentine Mass tomorrow. I won’t be able to receive there either, but now I must face my mom. What should I tell her? I don’t wanna say mind your own business to her…
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If your mother is a lifelong Catholic, she should understand.
Just tell her that you feel you need to go to confession before receiving Communion in the unlikely event she should ask. Whatever sin you may have committed is still between you and God. Even if the sin is not mortal, you may feel that you are not in the right disposition to receive. That is enough.
 
By the way, all priests are required under Canon Law not to refuse any reasonable request for Confession. If you can, catch the priest a generous time before Mass and make a quick, three-minute or less Confession. He will surely not refuse you.
 
Why are they asking?
hamburglar said:
Okay, so I will not be receiving the Body and Blood this Sunday because I am in a state of mortal sin and I need to go to Confession. Now I am a freshman at a Roman Catholic college right now, so I go to the Mass here on campus on Sundays, and sometimes I ride the bus across town to go to the Tridentine Mass as well as the campus one. When I go to the Mass on campus, I sit with friends and other classmates. This has happened before, and people asked me why I didn’t receive the Eucharist. I told them that I didn’t feel worthy. If I tell them that I am in a state of mortal sin and have not gone to Confession, I fear that they may misunderstand that. Many people misunderstand mortal sin, and think that means when you do REALLY bad stuff such as killing somebody or committing rape.

What should I tell them when they ask why I am not receiving the Eucharist?
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PS- missed you post about your Mother…

Mary is also your mother, and you should spend time in prayer with both of them together if you can.

Just my advice.

Mary has a way about her. Your Mother knows about it too.

Feel free to ask them to join you now.
 
Isn’t it odd that we can find ourselves in this particular predicament. I would think if we were all true Catholics that about 1/4 to 1/3 would NOT be going up for communion on any given Sunday. AND that all those who can go understand the reason that others cannot. Funny, isn’t it?

If I see someone I know to be Catholic not going to communion, I say a prayer for them and give it no further thought. I have been in their place so many, many times.

I’d say if friends ask, look them straight in the eyes and tell them the flat out truth. Probably the best thing one can do for one’s friends…

Peace all.
 
I have had friends ask me this same question. The “easy way out” if you can`t get to confession is to break the communion fast, and use that as your answer. But I just told my friend that I needed to go to confession first. She told me “but you only need to go for mortal sins, what did you do?” She immediately then added “Wait, that was none of my business, never mind.” I still felt uncomfortable but later told her I like to go for venial sins too and said “I just felt like I needed to go to confession before receiving” and left it at that.

If I am not able to receive communion, for whatever the reason, I tell the my friends beforehand so they won`t be surprised and trip over me on the way out of the pew.

You can always just tell them if they ask for a reason " I will forgive you for asking that question if you forgive me for not responding."

I admire you for having the courage to not let your embarrassment lead to further sin.

Sincerely,

Maria1212
 
In words of Father William Casey…the last 40 years in our church has cost us 2 generations working on a 3rd…based on what I have seen in our church your college friends possibly don’t have a clue to what a mortal sin is and the Eucharistic Fast line will not likely work either since they are likely clueless on that one too…however perhaps it is a good teaching moment…I guess you could make lemonade out of lemons…in this situation
 
You are under no obligation to tell the truth to people who have no right to the truth (this is not a license to lie however). As this is a private matter between you, God, and the person you sinned against (if such a person exists), you are within your rights to take necessary action to protect your privacy.

IMO, you should just make sure that you follow your friends/mother in the Communion line and recieve just a blessing. This will allow you to retain your legitimate right to privacy, won’t give them cause to ask a question to which they have no right to ask, and protect your soul from receiving unworthily. If you end up getting asked, you should be appropriately discrete by answering “I was not properly prepared to receive this weekend.”

From the Catechism:
2488 The right to the communication of the truth is not unconditional. Everyone must conform his life to the Gospel precept of fraternal love. This requires us in concrete situations to judge whether or not it is appropriate to reveal the truth to someone who asks for it.

2489 Charity and respect for the truth should dictate the response to every request for information or communication. The good and safety of others, respect for privacy, and the common good are sufficient reasons for being silent about what ought not be known or for making use of a discreet LANGUAGE. The duty to avoid scandal often commands strict discretion. No one is bound to reveal the truth to someone who does not have the right to know it.
 
OK, hamburglar, Sunday has come and gone. What did you do?

Betsy
 
You’ve gotten a lot of good advice. But no one has mentioned the one thing that you can do for yourself in the absence of a priest for confession. You can say an act of perfect contrition. You will be protected until you can get to sacramental confession. An act of contrition does not permit you to receive Holy Communion however, but it will protect you if something terrible happens.
 
Per the Code of Canon Law, priests are obliged to make time for the Sacrament of Penance–I once asked a priest if he had time to hear a quick confession, and he corrected me, saying that to call it a “quick” confession implied a lack of care and that it denigrated the sacrament to have that attitude about it. He then said “we can make time.”
Can. 986 §1. All to whom the care of souls has been entrusted in virtue of some function are obliged to make provision so that the confessions of the faithful entrusted to them are heard when they reasonably seek to be heard and that they have the opportunity to approach individual confession on days and at times established for their convenience.
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§2. In urgent necessity, any confessor is obliged to hear the confessions of the Christian faithful, and in danger of death, any priest is so obliged.
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This canon deliberately does not define “urgent necessity,” but leaves that up to the judgment of the priest.

-ACEGC
 
If we’re talking about faithful Catholics, why not say you aren’t receiving until you go to Confession and leave it at that?
—KCT
 
I think a lot of us have been in your situation. The only way to relieve it is to get to confession! Pray that you won’t commit the same sin again and try really hard not to. I know it is hard. God works in wonderous ways as you know.

It is totally rude of people to ask why you aren’t receiving the eucharist. My husband has asked me, but he is not Catholic so it was ok that ONE time. For Catholic friends to ask is silly! None of their business!
 
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