How to treat a wayward sibling

[Brain]

My sister has always been problematic, lasst year she had a child by a drug addict that died due to drug deformities. now she is pregnant again (at 20) by a 30+ year-old who has 3 (wait! 4) children. She just got kicked out of her mom’s house, and he doesnt have a house (he just got a job yesterday). So now they are living with us. My problem is, how do i deal with them? the guy is nice enough, but i cant help but resent him a lot for being far too old for my sister, and morally ticked off for the out of wedlock child. And I feel annoyed as always with my sister for making such poor choices and being so incredebly irresponsible. I have no animosity towards my neice, its just i feel really awkward around her parents. I want to be happy for their kid, but i also want it to be clear if it comes up (not going to start that conersation) that i do not approve of them living together no matter at who’s house and their past actions.

I know that i should loathe the sin and love the sinner, but i need specifics.

 

[otm]

Perhaps the first question is why they are living at your house. Given that it is your house, it is your rules. You appear not willing to make the rules (and it is a bit late, might I say?).

What you need to explore more perhaps is why you are becoming an enabler. I would suggets that you explore that issue, as that is one that you have some control over, and not your sister’s behavior and choices. These may seem like harsh words, but there was naother thread concerning the second sibling in a sibling/parent/sibling triangle, and it sounds as if you are tangled in the same web.

 

[stbruno]

naranoncalifornia.org/socal/page8.html
I think you can use some help with this problem. There are support groups of families called Narcotics anonymous…similar to the alcoholic anonymous groups. check out these two links.
helpguide.org/mental/drug_substance_abuse_addiction_signs_effects_treatment.htm

You will have to decide at some time very shortly, rules for your home and rules for those who inhabit it with specific consequences when rules are not followed. Please for your own personal families sake, be consistent. and above all these things…Pray, Pray and Pray some more.

 

[Princess_Abby]

Why does her boyfriend get to live with you and your family???

It’s fine to help an unwed, pregnant young girl out (who happens to be your sister)…but to support her deadbeat boyfriend who is clearly not just lazy and irresponsible, but also a moocher…is RIDICULOUS!!!

If you want to “make clear” that you “don’t support” them living together, then start by asking this 30+ year old MAN to go find somewhere else to rest his pretty little head. Namely–not a bed in YOUR house, with YOUR little sister!!!

I’m sure you’re afraid that this little sister will just run off into some dangerous situation and follow her boyfriend wherever he goes. Well, that is your sister’s perogative. Just make it clear that your house is not a hotel. If you are willing to take HER back, then fine. I would not compromise, however, on letting her boyfriend camp out at my house.