Rozellelily It’s sad to know that you are struggling and that your health is bad.
I don’t know all the ramifications and consequences, so can’t comment on that.
I’s hard when your doctor doesn’t know how to help you.
I’ll pray that you can find helpful medical diagnosis and treatment soon
The difficult thing is that the challenges of ill health and pain, and uncertainty, are sometimes part of our spiritual journey.
Our Mother, had to face the challenges of life no less than ourselves.
I don’t know if Jesus’ Mother suffered ill-health, but she did suffer. She could only “ponder these things in her heart” at times, needing faith as much as we do. Not a lot was easy for her. She accepted to be mother of the Savior, when if Joseph hadn’t accepted her , she would have been stoned to death in her culture. She had to travel over rough road wobbling on a donkey at a late stage of her pregnancy, then gave birth in a stable, and had only a food trough in which to place her Son. Next thing, Herod determined to murder all the infant boys in Bethlehem, simply to murder her Child. This circumstance would have broken her heart, knowing mothers were suffering that their were so cruelly being murdered on account of her own Boy.
She and Joseph fled to Egypt as refugees, where they ad to find shelter, Joseph had to find work, and they both had to do all this in a foreign culture in a foreign language.
When Jesus went missing, the most notable amber alert of all time, Joseph and Mary sought him with anxiety for three days, only to find Him beginning His ministry long before time.
When Jesus grew up, she knew difficult time lay ahead. The Angel who had given the invitation for her to be Mother of the Savior had warned her that "a sword would pierce her soul.
And Jesus Himself had frustrations and disappointments, and was finally betrayed, tortured, and murdered…for our sake the cost of our salvation.
Illness was part of the human and spiritual journey of many of the Saints. St Therese of Lisieux died of a painful abdominal illness. Her mother, Saint Zellie Martin, died of breast cancer, her father, Saint Louis Martin, suffered some kind of dementia at the end.
Saint Mary MacKillop suffered strokes towards the end, Saint Bernadette was ‘a living wound’.
It is all part of the human condition, and because we don’t ultimately belong on earth.
It’s how we deal with these things that matter, whether we despair, of whether we trust in God and offer our ailments and miseries along with Christ’s, in reparation for the huge deluge of sin in this world, praying the while for the salvation of so many souls who do not love God, and those who barely love other people, and may be in danger of being lost if we do not carry our crosses.
I’m often not sure what I’ll write, and I didn’t mean to write such difficult stuff. Despite all this, I really do feel for you
