That really can be frustrating.
I feel like “guilt” is way overdone, and traditionally the Catholic Church and her members have been associated with not only a feeling of “guilt” but special forms of “catholic guilt.” There are many popular jokes about “catholic guilt” and I can’t say they are all without merit. Wikipedia defines “Catholic guilt is a term used to identify the supposed excess guilt felt by Catholics and lapsed Catholics.”
They can be funny though… the jokes that is, not the guilt. The guilt is deadly and is not healthy beyond that which inspires you to repent, if it does that at all and doesn’t just get buried somehow and internalized for future use. And IMO about 90% of the time someone asks if something is a mortal sin, the answer turns out to be no because not all three required components are involved: a) grave matter, b) full knowledge and c) free consent. It’s pretty rare this formula ever gets met by someone who is even trying not to mortally sin at all.
Here’s a quote meme from Brennan Manning, who wrote the “Ragamuffin Gospel” and was inspirational to Rich Mullins and even the name of Mullins’ band:
http://www.quotationof.com/images/catholic-guilt-quotes-6.jpg
One problem people have is to be stuck in the “first half of spiritual life” as some put it, where we are all worried about sin and doing wrong and offending God and “step on a crack break your mother’s back.” This is all good for the formation of conscience, but is not equivalent to actually entering into the kingdom and cannot enter one into the kingdom.
The goal of Catholic life would seem to be guided by fear and guilt rather than the Holy Spirit. But it isn’t.
I suggest you read carefully, and repeatedly, Rom 8. Then Rom 7. Then Rom 7 and 8 then maybe Rom 6-8. Then Rom 8. Etc… see what I mean? Romans 7 describes in detail how sinful thoughts are actually begotten by being told of a law. Sinful nature immediately upon hearing that law, imagines all sorts of transgressions against the law it otherwise may never have thought of… like where Paul says he never even know what coveting was until the law said “do not covet” and then the sin in his mind ran every possible scenario he could think of as coveting, and this put him to death. The purpose of the law is to put our sinful selves to death, which is a required step (deny ourselves) before we can really follow Jesus and enter into this world even now where the greatest is the one who serves, and there is no condemnation.
And then in Rom 8 we have what it’s like when we finally begin to open our eyes into the kingdom and begin to walk in the way of spirit and life. Not the “law of sin and death” anymore.
Rom 8:1-13, 26-28, 31-39
Hence, now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus has freed you from the law of sin and death. For what the law, weakened by the flesh, was powerless to do, this God has done: by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for the sake of sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, so that the righteous decree of the law might be fulfilled in us, who live not according to the flesh but according to the spirit.
For those who live according to the flesh are concerned with the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the spirit with the things of the spirit. The concern of the flesh is death, but the concern of the spirit is life and peace. For the concern of the flesh is hostility toward God; it does not submit to the law of God, nor can it; and those who are in the flesh cannot please God. But you are not in the flesh; on the contrary, you are in the spirit, if only the Spirit of God dwells in you. Whoever does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the spirit is alive because of righteousness.
If the Spirit of the one who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, the one who raised Christ from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies also, through his Spirit that dwells in you. Consequently, brothers, we are not debtors to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die, but if by the spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
In the same way, the Spirit too comes to the aid of our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit itself intercedes with inexpressible groanings. And the one who searches hearts knows what is the intention of the Spirit, because it intercedes for the holy ones according to God’s will.
We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.
What then shall we say to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but handed him over for us all, how will he not also give us everything else along with him? Who will bring a charge against God’s chosen ones? It is God who acquits us. Who will condemn? It is Christ [Jesus] who died, rather, was raised, who also is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us. What will separate us from the love of Christ? Will anguish, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or the sword? it is written:
“For your sake we are being slain all the day;
we are looked upon as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we conquer overwhelmingly through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I agree. I still feel much guilt in respect to my sinful past, but it’s truly a type of guilt that leads good character traits, like humility. Guilt can be very beneficial spiritually.