How would Disney have done LOTR?

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The Muppet -Lord of the Rings thread got me thinking:
I’m so glad the Disney people never got their hands on
LOTR. Just imagine an animated Disney version–cloyingly cute little Hobbits, Gandalf as a bumbling old fool, singing and dancing Orcs, lots of friendly little woodland creatures helping Frodo on his way, and of course, a wise-cracking dragon for comic relief.(After all, these are the folks who turned the darkly tragic “Hunchback of Notre Dame” into a warm fuzzy story.)
 
Please! smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_25.gif No! It brings back baaaaad memories my precious. Baaaaad memories of Ralph Bakshi. Terrible memories my precious. Oooooooh, Dissssney tried fantasy once. They tooks, me precious, a wonderful set of books by Lloyd Alexander and ruined them. Ruined them I say, me precious. Black Cauldron it wassssssssssss. Have you seen it, my precious?
 
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brotherhrolf:
Please! smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_25.gif No! It brings back baaaaad memories my precious. Baaaaad memories of Ralph Bakshi. Terrible memories my precious. Oooooooh, Dissssney tried fantasy once. They tooks, me precious, a wonderful set of books by Lloyd Alexander and ruined them. Ruined them I say, me precious. Black Cauldron it wassssssssssss. Have you seen it, my precious?
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No offense, but that was creepy. But I do agree.
 
Creepy? The Gollum immitation? Didn’t mean to creep anyone out but I read the Lloyd Alexander series shortly after I read LOTR for the first time in 75. Disney butchered the Black Cauldron and I would not like to see them come anywhere near LOTR.
 
I have a vague memory of seeing “The Black Cauldron” and I remember thinking that it was pretty awful.
 
To my knowledge it was only released on VHS way back in the 80s and only one time. My kids loved the books which are nothing more than retelling the ancient Celtic myths for children.
 
Oh, by the way, the black cauldron is an antecedant of the Holy Grail. Figured I should drop that in since I am the chief troglodyte on search for the Holy Grail.
 
Actually there are animated versions of LOTR and The Hobbit (not Disney). Not very good. We watched them and even my daughters who were little at the time thought they were poorly done.

Disney doing LOTR would not be good. Now Pixar on the other hand, I wonder?

Brenda V.
 
Brenda V.:
Actually there are animated versions of LOTR and The Hobbit (not Disney). Not very good. We watched them and even my daughters who were little at the time thought they were poorly done.

Disney doing LOTR would not be good. Now Pixar on the other hand, I wonder?

Brenda V.
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Whoever did the animated The Hobbit also did The Return of the King, which more or less picked up where Bakshi’s terrible The Lord of the Rings left off.

They make Bakshi look good. And Bakshi was bad.

I can still here the disco signing orcs doing:

“Where there’s a whip,
There’s a way…”

It was truly, truly awful.

Disney would have done it even worse.
 
If Disney would have done LOTR? Hmmm:hmmm: …Certainly with a lot of songs!!!
 
Disney would have:
  • introduced lots of raunchiness
  • emphasised that Frodo & Sam were gay
  • made Tom Bombadil into a tree-hugger
  • toned down Gollum’s villainy
  • cut out either Theoden or Denethor
  • made Sting self-operating, retractible, and self-cleaning
  • given Shelob a human head
  • made the Battle of the Pelennor into a gorefest
  • made Denethor into a guilt-ridden appeaser
  • depicted Gandalf as a power-hungry maniac
  • provided a second Eye for Sauron
  • added the spiders in “The Hobbit” to “The Lord of the Rings”
  • given speaking parts to Thranduil and Dain
  • added yet more raunchiness
  • given Gondor the boundaries it had in 1226 T.A. so that it would look appropriately imperialist and aggressive
  • had Aragorn II renouncing all claims to the North Kingdom
 
Gottle of Geer:
Disney would have:
  • introduced lots of raunchiness
  • emphasised that Frodo & Sam were gay
  • made Tom Bombadil into a tree-hugger
  • toned down Gollum’s villainy
  • cut out either Theoden or Denethor
  • made Sting self-operating, retractible, and self-cleaning
  • given Shelob a human head
  • made the Battle of the Pelennor into a gorefest
  • made Denethor into a guilt-ridden appeaser
  • depicted Gandalf as a power-hungry maniac
  • provided a second Eye for Sauron
  • added the spiders in “The Hobbit” to “The Lord of the Rings”
  • given speaking parts to Thranduil and Dain
  • added yet more raunchiness
  • given Gondor the boundaries it had in 1226 T.A. so that it would look appropriately imperialist and aggressive
  • had Aragorn II renouncing all claims to the North Kingdom
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I also think Disney would make it a “happy ending” in which all the elves, mens and Hobbits would live in middle-earth utopia forever and ever.
 
Jeez…where the heck are these UNWARRENTED attacks on Disney coming from?

And I just knew going in someone would throw in “Gay” its must on these boards when movies are discussed. :rolleyes:

Are you people aware that Disney is the company that has made NARNIA? If you arent, then now you know.

If you are, then its doubly insulting to attack them for fun and PURPOSELY leave out Narnia just so another old stale and dry “GAY” reference can be thrown in.
 
Fill me in, has Disney included any gay characters in their cartoon movies? (HEY I SAID CARTOON MOVIES!) Anyway, I don’t want Disney anywhere near Tolkien. And I have been waiting and waiting for someone to do a better version of The Black Cauldron . We didn’t even get to see my favorite character, Prince Gwydion. That’s pure blasphemy! He’s such an important character in the story that to exclude him is just unbelieveable.
 
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Troy7:
Are you people aware that Disney is the company that has made NARNIA? If you arent, then now you know.
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Well, actually, they didn’t “make” Narnia, they advertised it and distributed it. The movie was filmed in NZ by an independent company from there, much as LOTR had been.

As to Disney doing LOTR, they took a look at it years ago and decided it was unfilmable, which it was before computer CGI came along. Still, I am happy they didn’t attempt it because I don’t think they would have stuck to the themes but invented ones of their own, however innocuous or bad they might have been.

And I can’t cast stones at Ralph Bakshi’s attempt because although it wasn’t a great film, it piqued the interest of a lot of people to read the books, including yours truly. At least he was faithful to Tolkien’s words and that says a lot about the poor man’s intentions, don’t you think?
 
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Troy7:
Jeez…where the heck are these UNWARRENTED attacks on Disney coming from?

And I just knew going in someone would throw in “Gay” its must on these boards when movies are discussed. :rolleyes:

Are you people aware that Disney is the company that has made NARNIA? If you arent, then now you know.

If you are, then its doubly insulting to attack them for fun and PURPOSELY leave out Narnia just so another old stale and dry “GAY” reference can be thrown in.
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I put that in because:​

  1. That is how people’s minds often work when a story has two characters of the same sex together for a long time
  2. The suggestion has been made
  3. If there is a gay theme in one film - sometimes there will be the same thing in other films
  4. Disney has a habit of wrecking the stories it turns into films or cartoons - that would be one way in which TLOTR might be spoiled.
  5. I strongly dislike and deplore Disney and its works: a group that came up with Mickey Mouse cannot be likeable, or have anything resembling artistic tact. When Disney is not vandalising Pooh, it’s drowning us all in the saccharine tweeness of “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves”.
Fortunately, Disney is not the sole producer of “Narnia” (if that what the fim is called - I’ve not seen it) ##
 
I once heard a story, I’m not sure whether it’s true or not, but it was while Prof. Tolkein was still alive and someone was trying to get a live-action LOTR film made. Tolkein asked him how he planned to do it, and he told him live action.

“Good,” Tolkein said, “because I had this nightmare about it being animated”.

Like I said, I’m not sure whether that story is true or not (I’m leaning towards yes), but it certainly is fitting considering how the annimated versions have turned out. (“Why do you speak of hiding and destroying?” said by Boromir, after no one had yet mentioned hiding or destroying) :tsktsk:
 
That is so funny! BTW y’all Bakshi did Hobbit, LOTR and Return of the King. Bakshi had Peter Beagle to do his screenplay. I go back to what I said originally…if Disney couldn’t do the Black Cauldron correctly (and boy don’t I wish we could turn Peter Jackson loose on that), well, they had their chance and blew it.
 
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brotherhrolf:
That is so funny! BTW y’all Bakshi did Hobbit, LOTR and Return of the King. Bakshi had Peter Beagle to do his screenplay. I go back to what I said originally…if Disney couldn’t do the Black Cauldron correctly (and boy don’t I wish we could turn Peter Jackson loose on that), well, they had their chance and blew it.
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Bakshi only did TLotR. The other two were directed by Jules Bass and Arthur Rankin Jr. Completely different productions with completely different styles.

The orcs sing disco tunes in the other two! It’s about what I’d expect from Disney in terms of repulsion factor for ruining a great story.

If anyone thinks Bakshi’s is bad (which I do), it’s genius compared with the other two. There aren’t sufficient words for their total, utter badness.
 
In that animated version of The Hobbit, gollum looks like a frog, which is only one problem. Both the Bakshi and Rankin/Bass films were so awful it is painful to watch them.

That Disney version of The Black Cauldron was a real turkey, also. Nothing like the book. Whoever said Peter Jackson would do well with that one is probably right.

Incidentally, many of the behind-the-scenes folks in New Zealand who did Lord of the Rings also worked on Narnia, which would account for the high quality.
 
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