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severus68
Guest
I remember what a wise priest said to me when in my youth, I questioned giving money to such people, He said that he preferred to give them the benefit of the doubt. That has remained with me.
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I remember what a wise priest said to me when in my youth, I questioned giving money to such people, He said that he preferred to give them the benefit of the doubt. That has remained with me.
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deb216
Guest
My dad once berated me for giving cash to a beggar. He told me that 9 out of 10 people are just looking for drug ,money. I told him that I would rather help 9 people who don’t need it than ignore one person who truly did.
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nitesnake
Guest
It’s a very common scam. Never buy it.
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EasterJoy
Guest
There are panhandlers who (if they are to be believed) made $60K/yr doing it. Highway police verify that they make a lot of money at it. Making a living by lying instead of working is not doing that soul any good. Worse than that, a friend of mine said that her pastors (non-Catholic) had become concerned about a member of their church who was supposed to get out of jail who hadn’t come back to church yet. After some investigation, they found he had been picked up by a “panhandling ring”, an “enterprise” that basically had a stable of people who stake out street corners and work “shifts”, panhandling cars at particularly lucrative intersections and off-ramps. They recruit people recently released from jail. It is not only dangerous, but it doesn’t help the people it is meant to help. Yes, there are people who are panhandler pimps. The world has come to that.
I remember what a wise priest said to me when in my youth, I questioned giving money to such people, He said that he preferred to give them the benefit of the doubt. That has remained with me.
I can’t see that it is ever a good idea to cooperate with something so likely to be based on lies. We know who is trying to dominate the person who is dominated by lies. I don’t think any of us who were panhandling honestly would mind being asked some questions, because of the harm that comes to people who live on lies. Yes, it takes more time than just giving them money, but the time is worth it, I think.
The other thing is that of course there are local projects who provide food and emergency services for the homeless who can make the money stretch much farther than even an honest panhandler can. It makes far more sense to give a monthly contribution to them, to give time to them, than to give money on impulse to someone whose story you don’t have time to verify at all.
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Catholic1954
Guest
I would have given him less than a 20, for the performance; usually, if someone runs out of gas, they are already at the gas station or pulled over on the side of the road, not a nice comfortable reststop.
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CaptFun
Guest
Prudent. “I was hungry and you did not feed me …” is something you don’t want to hear on judgement day.
The OP may have really helped a vanful of kids. Why not think of it that way. Especially since the $20 is already gone.
Getting practical about what ALREADY happened (vs. what should be done in the future):
$20 isn’t REALLY that much money … especially not gas money. And most of us have blown that much at ONE bad movie (with snacks).
For $20 this person got begged on bended knee! That doesn’t happen everyday. Even if you weren’t looking for that (or even disturbed by that) the sheer entertainment value and oddness of it gives you a wild story to tell for years!
You could say you were treated like Royalty (for $20).
If you can smile about it … might as well. God loves a cheerful giver.
As for the future … each call can be made on a case by case basis.
Someone begging outside a liquor store might be more suspect than a person who asks elsewhere. I’ve done both things, said, YES and NO. Changed my mind. Felt bad about saying no. Felt stupid for saying yes to a possible “con”.
Sometimes a “con man” really needs the money and makes up a plausible excuse for the benefit of the giver (then too maybe just to con a mark as the high point in their day).
But I vote for erring on the side of caution. Give to those who ask. Just in case “it’s Jesus!”
One could even (on a good day) pre-empt the begging and be on the lookout for “Lazarus at the gate” and give unsolicited help (when it’s safe to do so). < 
- now I must live UP to that I suppose. 
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Beryllos
Guest
That is how I feel about it too. If it is infrequent, and only a small sum of money is at stake, I do not like to worry about whether I am being scammed.
When I lived in Berkeley, California, once upon a time, I simply could not give to all the poor panhandlers, and there were so many! I felt bad about it at first, but eventually was conditioned to mostly ignore. Now in Boston, I give, but somewhat selectively, for example, to those who look particularly bad off.
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HolyRosaryChild
Guest
Jesus says: “give to all of your Sisters and Brothers in Christ who ask for your help” in whatever ways this occurs.
Jesus says: “To the least of my Brethren” (to assist all others, particularly those who have less than oneself).
You have done the right thing.
Jesus says: “To the least of my Brethren” (to assist all others, particularly those who have less than oneself).
You have done the right thing.
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JackieMom
Guest
I think 99.99% of the time, a family or honest individual that ran out of gasoline would call Triple AAA or similar, use the telephone at the gas station to get a family member/friend to provide their credit card info to the attendant, or simply call the police/fire department and inform them of the situation and see what they advised. Very few “normal” people would approach strangers for handouts or beg for money.
One time I, along with my baby, got separated from rest of my family at Disneyland. I hoofed it all the way back from one of the park to the other, carrying a 10-month-old, to use the “guest services” phone rather than ask a stanger to borrow their cell to call my husband. Most healthy/typical people simply will not ask others for help and will figure out a way to solve their problem without inconveniencing strangers or humiliating themselves.
One time I, along with my baby, got separated from rest of my family at Disneyland. I hoofed it all the way back from one of the park to the other, carrying a 10-month-old, to use the “guest services” phone rather than ask a stanger to borrow their cell to call my husband. Most healthy/typical people simply will not ask others for help and will figure out a way to solve their problem without inconveniencing strangers or humiliating themselves.
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
My younger son got conned out of $10 in the same scam. “Car broke down, need money to get a part.” There are many variations depending on the location/scammer’s impulse to lie.
To those of you who continue to give these people money - they also break into houses and rob businesses for drugs.
They are not benign. Give your money to Catholic Charities or other organizations that help addicts and alcoholics turn their lives around. You can carry bottles of water in your car and give them one - even food will often be thrown away or traded for cigarettes or booze.
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JackieMom
Guest
When I lived in LA, and I was in college, I got the bright idea to get up one morning and take bagels, croissants and granola bars down to an area with lots of panhandlers and offer them breakfast. I think I was able to give away ONE item.My younger son got conned out of $10 in the same scam. “Car broke down, need money to get a part.” There are many variations depending on the location/scammer’s impulse to lie.
To those of you who continue to give these people money - they also break into houses and rob businesses for drugs.
“Not hungry, do you have any money?” “Can’t eat, but I could use five bucks…” “I juat want cash.”
Biggest learning moment of the school year! Now if I’d been handing out Thunderbird…
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Ophelia23
Guest
I try to give when I can. Or I try to give what I can. I don’t often carry cash, so it is rare that I am able to give money away. But there have been several instances when after seeing someone sitting on the street corner asking for money, I have stopped to give them some food or a blanket or a pair of mittens or what have you.
Whether the person is strung out on drugs, or an honest man in need of assistance, he is still a person with needs, and he is still incredibly loved by our Father. I try to give that same love as best as I can.
Sometimes, I really stink at it.
In your situation, if I had the money, I personally would have given it. But I also understand your discomfort, too! My advice is: What is done, is done. Just try to let it go.
Whether the person is strung out on drugs, or an honest man in need of assistance, he is still a person with needs, and he is still incredibly loved by our Father. I try to give that same love as best as I can.
Sometimes, I really stink at it.
In your situation, if I had the money, I personally would have given it. But I also understand your discomfort, too! My advice is: What is done, is done. Just try to let it go.
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
You’d have been mobbed. Some of the panhandlers will even have signs, “I just need a beer,” and you have to almost admire their honesty. Eating cuts down on the effect of the booze/drugs so it’s only done on an emergency basis.
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Beryllos
Guest
Am I misunderstanding this, that the chief reasons for not giving are pride and fear? Would a good Christian please step up to the podium and elaborate, if possible, on how to apply Jesus’ commandments to love God and to love one another to this situation?
Are you saying that panhandlers are not actually in need, so the commandment to care for the poor does not apply? Are you saying that to give to those people may enable them to harm themselves and therefore for us is not an expression of love? If a truly poor person is immoral, and telling lies, are we released from the commandment to care for him?
I do not claim to have the answers, and I may not have even posed the right questions. I am just trying to discover how best to love those who are poor, unwell, and corrupt.
Are you saying that panhandlers are not actually in need, so the commandment to care for the poor does not apply? Are you saying that to give to those people may enable them to harm themselves and therefore for us is not an expression of love? If a truly poor person is immoral, and telling lies, are we released from the commandment to care for him?
I do not claim to have the answers, and I may not have even posed the right questions. I am just trying to discover how best to love those who are poor, unwell, and corrupt.
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JackieMom
Guest
I think many would argue that donating to charities that help rehabilitate these types is a better expression of love and compassion than handing them cash, which will almost certainly be used for drugs and booze.
We all have a duty to help the poor, but many experts believe that giving the addicted/mentally ill cash actually harms them. It’s important to differentiate betweendoing things that make us feel good, and actually doing good.
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EasterJoy
Guest
I also don’t want to hear “I had a substance abuse problem, and you gave money to my lies to clear your own conscience”, either. Hear what he says: “I was hungry and you fed me”, not “I asked for money and you gave me money, no questions asked.” The standard of the golden rule says that if someone might be harming themselves by the lies they are telling you, you can’t pretend you don’t know they might be lying. That is not what I’d want if I were eating up my life with drugs or alcohol or just manipulation of strangers. That would just hurry me to a nasty death, and maybe an eternity in hell, who knows.
If it won’t reasonably lead to a good end, it isn’t charity.
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EasterJoy
Guest
I am saying that the duty is to tend to the needs of our brothers and sisters, not to believe everything that comes out of their mouths. If you don’t have time or the means to stop and find out what their real needs are,** it is not better than nothing** to throw money at what might be fueling their suffering.
And yes, there are panhandlers who are not actually in need, but also panhandlers who have a real need but who will not help themselves out of their own need if they are given money, but who will actually make their lives worse. That is not some vanishingly small minority, so that we don’t have to concern ourselves with the possibility that our $5 or $10 or $20 isn’t going to go to illegal drugs or a prostitute or even a life of lying for a living instead of working. If you were that panhandler, would money from strangers be helping you? No, it would be hardening you in harmful choices.
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Luvz2travel
Guest
For the most part I only give to organized charites and when I run into panhandlers I usually tell them so. If someone asked me for money for food and there was a food place within a few blocks I’d walk them over and pay for their meal or purchase a gas card for them if they looked in need to me. I’ve had teenagers ask me for money at the mall (for video games) and even ladies holding babies (badies are used as bait or decoys) also a girl on a train who looked well able to care for herself (well dressed and healthy) asked me for money and gave me a lame story. I never carry a lot of cash so I usually don’t have any to give out. I tend to only get out $20 at a time living on a strick budget as I do. Being poor myself makes me skepical I know. I’ve been in tough finances most of my life and have never asked for a hand out. Thanks doesn’t mean I don’t give I’m just really careful where I give. I also work two jobs and have 14 hour days sometimes so I have to cautious where I spend.
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Beryllos
Guest
Sounds like one solution is to give generously to charities that care for those in need. The charities, if properly managed, may help the poor more effectively than your handing it directly over to the poor, irresponsible person.
How then do you respond when someone asks you person-to-person? Ignore, avoid, turn away? Point them toward charitable services?
Tell a lie? I try to avoid making excuses like “I don’t have any money.” I prefer to simply say, with true regret, “I cannot.” Done, no excuses. That statement can be both truthful and open to many interpretations.
How then do you respond when someone asks you person-to-person? Ignore, avoid, turn away? Point them toward charitable services?
Tell a lie? I try to avoid making excuses like “I don’t have any money.” I prefer to simply say, with true regret, “I cannot.” Done, no excuses. That statement can be both truthful and open to many interpretations.
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Beryllos
Guest
Sad story of children exploited in Pakistan for begging:
BBC: Child victims of Pakistan’s ‘begging mafia’
BBC: Child victims of Pakistan’s ‘begging mafia’
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