A
Austere
Guest
It’s a poster with a phrase saying,“Who needs Satan when you have a God like this?” I don’t know if you can view it in this post but you would probably be able to see if you put the above phrase in a search engine. The background is pictures of intense suffering and death. I came across it almost by accident, and has deeply troubled me ever since. The fact that my faith seems to be in a sense of a crisis only enforces the negativity I feel. It almost seemed as if me finding the picture reflected my current mood. I’ve been flirting with atheism for the past few days and in the usual erratic nature of my faith, this is quite an unexpected turn. Environment doesn’t help all that much each other, especially at school. I would reckon, out of the eighty or so students in my year, I’m more than likely the only practicing Catholic. The rest of them seem to be atheists or agnostics. Thoughts have been swirling around in my mind like, “What does it matter if there’s one more? They all seem to be enjoying themselves, happy out without a belief in God, why can’t I be the same?”
Also, the fact that Catholicism would have me look at myself and others as hapless, sinful creatures with no chance of doing anything proper without God, is not sitting proper with me, as I would hope to become the best or the strongest at something. I’m tired of feeling this way over Catholicism and I feel that I could be devoting my time to a better cause than concentrating on something that isn’t a hundred percent true and more than likely, could be nothing more than a crutch. I remember when I told my grandmother and my aunt about the recently approved Eucharistic miracle in Poland and seeing the amazed expressions on their faces, I thought to myself, “How do you feel like that? What draws such a reaction out of you?”
Your prayers, my friends, that I may end this vicious cycle and see the truth.
Also, the fact that Catholicism would have me look at myself and others as hapless, sinful creatures with no chance of doing anything proper without God, is not sitting proper with me, as I would hope to become the best or the strongest at something. I’m tired of feeling this way over Catholicism and I feel that I could be devoting my time to a better cause than concentrating on something that isn’t a hundred percent true and more than likely, could be nothing more than a crutch. I remember when I told my grandmother and my aunt about the recently approved Eucharistic miracle in Poland and seeing the amazed expressions on their faces, I thought to myself, “How do you feel like that? What draws such a reaction out of you?”
Your prayers, my friends, that I may end this vicious cycle and see the truth.