Hows a Catholic who likes living in a small town supposed to find a spouse?

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WildCatholic

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Okay, so I want know how am I supposed to find someone. I feel like I’m called to marriage (could change I’m only 24). I’m a small town guy, and I love living out here. As of now I don’t live too far from larger cities (i’m about an hour from two pretty large cities), but I could potentially have a job as a teacher way out in the boonies since it is about 2 hours to the closest town over 10,000 (it’s in rural SD, and not San Diego, South Dakota:D)

First of all i’m not dreading this. I actually like living in a smaller town and to me it might be fun. I just wonder how I am supposed to find a spouse. As in most smaller towns, there aren’t a lot of people, especially single people. Also, church isn’t the greatest place to meet people, mostly because its older people and families. So how am I supposed to find someone out here. I’m probably not going to go the online route ( I haven’t had much luck on catholic sites, not a lot in my area and the two i did meet I didn’t feel were right for me). So what are some suggestions? Am I foolish for wanting to live in the boonies and if so am I doomed to be single?
 
Well, my DH met me online.

He in a small town, me in the 4th largest city in the US 1800 miles away. We met 10 years ago and have been married 8.
 
Ain’t much better in a city with millions of folks. Mostly because you’re simply not going to pick up strangers out in the street and count on random chance. It’s not really about how many people you glance at or pass by, it’s about how many people you interact with to the point that a friendship or relationship has a chance to start. Which isn’t actually such a lot of people out in the concrete jungle. Bottom line, try online again. Or just sign up for stuff somewhere, get to meet people in their natural environments.
 
Any Catholic young adult groups? Maybe even in the nearby city? You might be able to join one and meet people your age with similar values.
 
1ke said:
Agreed!

That is why I went online to find my wonderful DH.
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Congrats! Glad to hear you’re happy and it worked for you. The good thing about going online is that you get those wonderful fields which are supposed to be filled in and when they are not filled in that is a message in itself. Like Poles say, the coffee’s on the table then. On the other hand, in RealLife™ you’re first confronted with a person’s considerable charm (or else you wouldn’t bother) and only then you get to extract any information on the fundamentals and non-negotiables. You also get to see a person’s spelling and punctuation before things go too far.
 
My daughter found her fiance on line. She used one of the Catholic web sites.

She prayed very hard to God to find her the right person and it apparently worked!

They are planning on getting married in September.
 
1ke said:
Well, my DH met me online.

He in a small town, me in the 4th largest city in the US 1800 miles away. We met 10 years ago and have been married 8.
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I met my husband online as well.

I was a small town girl and he was from the city about 40 mins away.

I would have never met him if I didn’t look online.
 
WingsOfEagles said:
Any Catholic young adult groups? Maybe even in the nearby city? You might be able to join one and meet people your age with similar values.
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Sad fact even where I am now I have to drive an hour to find Catholic young adult groups (though i’m fortunate to live 20 minutes from a Benedictine Monastery that hosts retreats, though my schedule makes it tough to attend since I work nights at a grocery store). Sadly even in my town of 25,000 there isn’t a young adult group (which is sad, there are some young adults). But i don’t know if its an option. There is a Catholic College though, and a popular retreat center so it could work.

Another problem is i’m terribly shy. I’ve only ever dated one girl that I didn’t meet online (though i asked another). So what then? Thats kind of why I want to avoid online dating. I need to meet people in person.
 
25,000 is a small town? :rotfl:

Sorry, it’s just that I grew up in a town of 3,000 and now live in a city of 11,000.

There must be someone around!

An hour drive to the city might not be bad once a week. Of course, I live in an area where an hour drive is just a little long.
 
I don’t see what you can do, if you have even given up on going to sites like catholicmatch.com.
I hope you will do one thing though if you haven’t already started. That you start praying for a wife, and pray every day. Maybe even go to daily mass sometimes for that intention. And perhaps fast once in awhile too.
 
mdgspencer said:
I don’t see what you can do, if you have even given up on going to sites like catholicmatch.com.
I hope you will do one thing though if you haven’t already started. That you start praying for a wife, and pray every day. Maybe even go to daily mass sometimes for that intention. And perhaps fast once in awhile too.
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I will do that. I haven’t been praying enough. My thing with online dating though, I can’t change it. The few girls I’ve become facebook friends with live too far away, and where i’m going to be living there aren’t many girls in the state unless its like over 5 hours away. Thats too tough. How can a relationship develop with that much distance? Also i’d rather start meeting people the old fashioned way. Its hard and will get harder, but who knows. Think of it this way, if I get this job, since i’m a teacher, there might and its a big might, be another teacher who’s single and might be attractive and into me and all that. Its a big guess but who knows?
 
WingsOfEagles said:
25,000 is a small town? :rotfl:

Sorry, it’s just that I grew up in a town of 3,000 and now live in a city of 11,000.

There must be someone around!

An hour drive to the city might not be bad once a week. Of course, I live in an area where an hour drive is just a little long.
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I know it doesn’t seem small, I come from a town of 150. But there just isn’t a lot of organization for young singles. Most people my age (24) are married, or if they are single they have kids, are into drugs or the party scene, or don’t really have their life together. I’m sure there are a few, but I can’t seem to find them. Even at a retreat I went to most of the people were from the two larger cities.
 
WildCatholic said:
I know it doesn’t seem small, I come from a town of 150. But there just isn’t a lot of organization for young singles. Most people my age (24) are married, or if they are single they have kids, are into drugs or the party scene, or don’t really have their life together. I’m sure there are a few, but I can’t seem to find them. Even at a retreat I went to most of the people were from the two larger cities.
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Are you opposed to dating someone a little long distance. Just because they are from the city now, doesn’t mean they wouldn’t move to a smaller town if they married you.
 
When push comes to shove, if there’s girls there who respect your Catholic faith and morals but aren’t Catholic in your town, I say go for it anyway. Once it gets to a marriage point, you can talk about the Sacrament and your intentions.

You live in the part of the Midwest that’s mostly ELCA Lutheran and many of us intermarry with them without any hassle.
 
WildCatholic said:
Okay, so I want know how am I supposed to find someone. I feel like I’m called to marriage (could change I’m only 24). I’m a small town guy, and I love living out here. As of now I don’t live too far from larger cities (i’m about an hour from two pretty large cities), but I could potentially have a job as a teacher way out in the boonies since it is about 2 hours to the closest town over 10,000 (it’s in rural SD, and not San Diego, South Dakota:D)

First of all i’m not dreading this. I actually like living in a smaller town and to me it might be fun. I just wonder how I am supposed to find a spouse. As in most smaller towns, there aren’t a lot of people, especially single people. Also, church isn’t the greatest place to meet people, mostly because its older people and families. So how am I supposed to find someone out here. I’m probably not going to go the online route ( I haven’t had much luck on catholic sites, not a lot in my area and the two i did meet I didn’t feel were right for me). So what are some suggestions? Am I foolish for wanting to live in the boonies and if so am I doomed to be single?
Click to expand...
My wife and I met on CatholicMatch.com and have now been married for over 9 years with two beautiful daughters. Here’s the website link:
catholicmatch.com/

And here’s a link to a review of the website given by CatholicCulture.Org:
catholicculture.org/culture/reviews/view.cfm?recnum=1021&repos=2&subrepos=0&searchid=1017085
 
Heavenly Father, I desire to serve You in the vocation of married life. Please help me to find a suitable and holy spouse, that together we may grow in love for You and build Your Kingdom while on earth. I ask this through Your Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
Amen.
*St. Raphael, Patron Saint of Catholic Singles, pray for me. *
 
VanSensei said:
When push comes to shove, if there’s girls there who respect your Catholic faith and morals but aren’t Catholic in your town, I say go for it anyway. Once it gets to a marriage point, you can talk about the Sacrament and your intentions.

You live in the part of the Midwest that’s mostly ELCA Lutheran and many of us intermarry with them without any hassle.
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I don’t know? I’m the product of an ELCA catholic marriage myself. My mother is so liberal, and while i assume most members of the ELCA aren’t out here, I want someone who I can agree with. Plus it’d work out easier for the kids.
 
livingwordunity said:
My wife and I met on CatholicMatch.com and have now been married for over 9 years with two beautiful daughters. Here’s the website link:
catholicmatch.com/

And here’s a link to a review of the website given by CatholicCulture.Org:
catholicculture.org/culture/reviews/view.cfm?recnum=1021&repos=2&subrepos=0&searchid=1017085
Click to expand...
Not to be rude, but I did CatholicMatch actually.I think it’s great, but it just hasn’t worked for me. Especially since so many are from so far away
 
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