Hubby refuses to attend Mass

[Laura_Ic]

I cannot get my husband to attend mass with me and my 2 year old son. Whenever I ask him if he would like to go, he gets very defensive and sometimes uses vulgar language. His excuse is that he’s tired and works hard to pay the bills. He was raised Catholic. He’s never mentioned anything bad experiences about going to church. His family attends mass with my son and I. I’ve talked about it to my in-laws but they tell me he’s an adult and can make his own choices. I just don’t want my son asking me when he gets older “if daddy can stay home and sleep, why can’t I.” I want my husband to be a strong role model too. Because he refuses to attend mass, am I committing grave sin?

 

[Truly_Beloved]

Because he refuses to attend mass, am I committing grave sin?

No. :console: His non-attendance is not your sin; it’s his. Since he uses bad language when you ask him to go, I would stop asking him… Just let him know when you’re going.

Oh, and keep taking your little boy. And pray for your husband’s reversion. What a rotten situation; my heart goes out to you, Hon.

 

[TAllan]

You can not force somebody to take this walk. Lead by example, both for your son and husband. Love him. Give him space. Pray for him. He will have to make this decision on his own.

 

[kage_ar]

When you come home from Mass, don’t go into how the 2 year old screeched during the homily and climbed up into the holy water font - not saying you do, but, it would be natural to vent to hubby if toddler is a bit high spirited in Mass. Be happy and smiling, maybe bring him home a doughnut or a favorite coffee. Let him see that going to Mass makes you a better human being.

Get some books for you - maybe Patrick Madrid’s “Search and Rescue”, have your mil read it as well.

Get some books to read and leave around the house for DH to pick up, magazines too. Catholic Answers own “This Rock” is very good magazine. The National Catholic Register is another good weekly periodical, as is Our Sunday Visitor. Book wise, George Weigel “The Truth of Catholicism” a must read, Matthew Kelly’s “Rediscovering Catholicism”, “Catholicism for Dummies” is one that every Catholic family should have around. Maybe your husband would pick them up if they are just around the house.

Tune into Catholic radio - you can do it online if you do not have it in your area (google EWTN Radio, Ave Maria Radio and Relevant Radio) - listen to CA Live podcasts right here on this website.

There are many ways to get learning about the Faith into your home.

And, always, pray.

 

[1ke]

Is this a sudden change in behavior? When you were dating, did he practice the faith and demonstrate the character and leadership you desire him to have?

 

[cknick]

If you become more involved with your parish, and he sees that it is not only about discipline, but fun and formation, it might help, too. With my husband, I would come back and talk about something fun or funny. I began hosting different group study sessions at our house, or going to others homes. Then I began seeing people around the city, saying hello to friends in the community. When he saw that I was forming new friends and invested in a new way of life, my husband wanted in and wanted the same for himself. This led to stronger family faith. I led by example, and he followed.

 

[kage_ar]

Another thought, have you tried Mass at another time? Sat vigil Mass followed by dinner out? Sunday late afternoon or maybe an evening Mass? Let him sleep in on Sunday, there are other mass options in many places. To find nearby options, check out masstimes.org

 

[Rascalking]

Alot of times us guys miss mass because we want to watch a ball game or play Xbox. Does he have time to do that? If he spends too much time with his hobbies, then you can talk to him and tell him that he needs to cut away from his hobby time to go to mass.

 

[Sr_Sally]

Another thought, have you tried Mass at another time? Sat vigil Mass followed by dinner out? Sunday late afternoon or maybe an evening Mass? Let him sleep in on Sunday, there are other mass options in many places. To find nearby options, check out masstimes.org

This is exactly the approach I would use. Check out Mass times at all the local parishes and find a time that will fit better into your familiy’s schedule. For example, my parish has a 12:30 Sunday Mass–plenty of time for a nice breakfast and a look at the paper before going–or scheduling a lesiurely laste lunch afterward.

 

[MarieVeronica]

Laura… do you have satellite TV? And if so, do you get EWTN (Eternal Word Television Network)? There is a great program on EWTN for the guys… which deals with these issues you’ve experience with your DH. It’s called “Crossing the Goal” and features former NFL all-pro wide receiver and coach, Danny Abramowicz. I know, I sound like an ad for the show . But it’s a good show! (Even though it’s intended for the guys… we watch it too! :blushing: ).

Here is the link. If you can’t get the program on TV… maybe he will at least read the website. Hope it helps you both. God bless.

ewtn.com/series/crossingthegoal/index.htm