Hubby told me I'm addicted to God

  • Thread starter Thread starter merne9
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Correct. I did not say otherwise.
Ok, you said God shouldn’t be all she cares about, but technically, if all you care about is God, then you will actually be doing everything as you should be, and that is good! We should only care about God in a sense that if we care about God, then we care about every person on Earth. There is no way on Earth to only care about God while excluding others, because when we care about God we care about others. So yeah, ideally we only care about God, which means we lead a life where God is always present and in caring about God we are caring about everyone. We should always, every instant, only care about God (the other option would be to not care about God at some point, which would be wrong).

Now, OP, caring about God isn’t the same as shutting everyone out and just talking about God constantly. It includes showing love for others, seeking what He wants of you exactly where you are, bringing others close to Him.
 
merne9----I am kind of in your husband’s shoes but it is my husband who has turned very religious. He prays the morning and evening prayers each day like a priest does. If I want to talk to him or making noise he goes into another room and complains he doesn’t want to be bothered when he is praying.
Not to derail the thread but you bring up an important point about daily prayer. I’m the male in our marriage; I also pray the Divine Office every day. In my case it’s part of my oblate promise to pray at least part of it, but I do the whole thing.

So I can understand your husband’s point of view. Two things though, that need to be respected by both sides; the order I list them isn’t the order of importance, they’re both equally important:
  1. It’s important that you respect your husband’s commitment to prayer and give him the space he needs to pray; that means, if you have something to say to him, put it off until he’s done…
2)…unless it’s urgent: attending to a child or elderly person’s immediate needs because you’re busy with something you can’t extract yourself from; the toilet is overflowing and you need help, that sort of thing; in that case he converts his assistance to you as a prayer offering in its own right, and he interrupts his mental prayer or cancels it for that particular day.

Too easy (guilty as charged!) to escape your obligations by hiding behind prayer. If you do that, it’s no longer prayer, but is rather a selfish act.

Fortunately my wife respects this; we’re now empty nesters, so the occurrences of urgent need to interrupt my prayer are rare, and pretty much limited to an important phone call, a plumbing emergency or leaking roof, or the house is on fire 😛

If she just needs to talk, she knows I will be all there for her in a few minutes (Lauds and Vespers take me about 20 minutes each; Compline 15 and for the other Offices she’s either sleeping or away at work); but she’s also secure in the knowledge that if a toilet overflows or there’s some other sort of emergency, I’ll be there for her immediately.
 
Ok, you said God shouldn’t be all she cares about, but technically, if all you care about is God, then you will actually be doing everything as you should be, and that is good! We should only care about God in a sense that if we care about God, then we care about every person on Earth. There is no way on Earth to only care about God while excluding others, because when we care about God we care about others. So yeah, ideally we only care about God, which means we lead a life where God is always present and in caring about God we are caring about everyone. We should always, every instant, only care about God (the other option would be to not care about God at some point, which would be wrong).

Now, OP, caring about God isn’t the same as shutting everyone out and just talking about God constantly. It includes showing love for others, seeking what He wants of you exactly where you are, bringing others close to Him.
I meant, by what I said, something in the same sense as St Paul says here, in 1 Corinthians 7:
An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.
The vocation of marriage naturally and rightly involves “divided interests”. We should always do God’s will for us, and in the vocation of marriage it will differ from the vocation of consecrated religious life. I don’t think there’s anything contentious in what I said, but perhaps this explanation will help clear it up.
 
“Some guys have a hard time with faith.” --A pure generality. If I came here and said “some gals have a hard time with faith” I’d get slammed. So why am I the only one pointing out the inflammatory aspect of that remark?
 
“Some guys have a hard time with faith.” --A pure generality. If I came here and said “some gals have a hard time with faith” I’d get slammed. So why am I the only one pointing out the inflammatory aspect of that remark?
I intend to unsubscribe from this thread, since I’ve said my piece and helped how I could, but perhaps I can reply here before I go.

Reflecting on my ~2 decades of experience of American Christianity, there has been in all the churches I’ve attended a lopsided population of those attending Mass and Church functions: More women than men, more older than younger. So there is basis for the idea that there aren’t many men greatly involved in the faith in the US.

However, I think it’s victim blaming to point to some defect in men. Instead, I think it is from the passivity that has taken hold of the Church’s services, sermons, and theology (I say passivity; others say “femininity”, and there are books out with titles like the Feminization of the Church). I think part of it is seminarian formation, and another part of it fear of lawsuits and fear of Church property getting damaged, i.e. lack of faith that God will join us in battle.

If you want to talk more, PM me.
 
Men are the less empathetic and socially open of the two sexes. They tend to shy away from public religious functions moreso than women, because it (unjustly) makes them feel exposed, uncomfortable or silly. This shouldn’t be a controversial statement or something that involves lots of sociological research.

That’s part of the reason why you have a male priesthood. The actual job functions of a priest come more intuitively for a woman than for a man; too intuitively. A man takes up the role through reservations, trepidation, and prayer to Heaven for help, which is exactly the kind of climate that Jesus & Mary desire in a soul.

Leading public liturgy & worship? Hearing people’s secrets in confession? Talking? Women would dive into the role by the millions, though their hearts & discipline would not be properly formed. Priestesses were much more common in the pagan world than priests.
 
TK421, I’m sorry, you are just “spouting off” your opinion as if it fact. This is man-bashing, masquerading as family advice.

If you’re going to say what you did, in response I’ll just quote my dear departed grandmother - who had more horse sense than just about anyone, male or female, I’ve ever met - who drilled into me and my brothers growing up: “Men tend to have a better way about them than women.”

She’s the person who taught me that:
–Most women, unlike most men, hold grudges;
–Most women, unlike most men, emote when they should think logically; and
–Most women, unlike most men, love drama.

Now, if your opinion is valid, so is my grandmother’s.
 
TK421, I’m sorry, you are just “spouting off” your opinion as if it fact. This is man-bashing, masquerading as family advice.

If you’re going to say what you did, in response I’ll just quote my dear departed grandmother - who had more horse sense than just about anyone, male or female, I’ve ever met - who drilled into me and my brothers growing up: “Men tend to have a better way about them than women.”

She’s the person who taught me that:
–Most women, unlike most men, hold grudges;
–Most women, unlike most men, emote when they should think logically; and
–Most women, unlike most men, love drama.

Now, if your opinion is valid, so is my grandmother’s.
Is there a reason that your grandmother and TK421 can’t both be right? Because I actually agree with both of you, with one caveat:

It’s not that men and women are this particular way, but that our natures may make us more likely to be tempted by particular sins. This leaves room for those of us who are not, whoever we are and for whatever reason (inherent personality, socialization and cultural expectations, etc.) but still recognizes that yes, there are tendencies of bad behavior and attitudes that do tend to line up with gender.

Of course, with the grace of God we can overcome those tendencies.
 
One could “overdue” certain things …go to Church too often when ones family needs one…only talk about religion… and other like things …etc etc…

But living a faithful life as a disciple of Jesus of Nazareth involves all of life - after all he is the meaning of our life. Indeed he is our true life.
 
But strictly speaking a Christian can no more be said to be “addicted to God”

than

a living person can be said to be “addicted to life”.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top